12
Leonard glared at himself in the mirror, his eyes dark as he frowned. “Get a hold of yourself, man,” he muttered, lifting his chin and trying to steady his resolve. “Stop being so ridiculous.”
It had been a good few days since he had spoken to Sophie about Polly, and still, he could not get the look in her eyes out of his mind. She had been so attentive, so willing to listen, so caring towards him – and his heart had swelled with some forgotten emotion. The words had fallen from his tongue, as though desperate to be spoken, the pain pouring from him like a waterfall. It was as though something in him wanted to further their acquaintance when, in truth, he should be making sure to keep as far away from her as possible.
His frown deepened. It was not as though Sophie was without her charms, for she was sweet and kind, with a lovely smile and quick wit, but rather that he had already proposed to a lady such as she once before – and subsequently, his heart had been torn from his chest. It would be foolish, indeed, to allow the same thing to happen again.
And yet, the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted her to speak to him about the troubles of her heart, earnestly desiring to help her. Although he had begun to see her emerge from her shroud of grief and pain, there was still that heaviness she carried with her. She had not quite managed to throw off the burden that rested on her shoulders, and Leonard found he wanted to aid her in whatever way he could. Gone was the consideration of his own grief, the very matter of Polly and her flit to Scotland with another man no longer weighing so heavily on his own mind. He did not think of it every day as he once had, for his mind was almost always on other matters. Matters which included Sophie.
Making his way from his bedchamber to the drawing room, he entered it expecting to find company – only to find it entirely empty. A footman followed soon after him, knocking once on the door to capture his attention.
“My lord, the master wished me to inform you that he has gone out for a walk with his wife. They will not be long.”
Leonard nodded, thinking that he might sit and read quietly whilst he waited for their return. He and Victor were to go for a ride together later that afternoon when Catherine was resting, so he did not mind in the least spending time in his own company for a while.
“Very good, thank you,” he replied, as the footman bowed and quit the room. “Oh, wait a moment. Where is Miss Sophie?”
The footman turned, a rather unsure look on his face. “I could not say, my lord. Would you like me to find out for you?”
Leonard paused, thinking that whilst he would prefer to know where the lady was, simply so that he could spend time in her presence, he did not need to seek her out with such fervor. “No, it is quite all right. You may go.”
The footman left the room for the second time, closing the door behind him. Wandering to the window, Leonard sighed to himself as he looked out at the gardens ahead of him, suddenly caught with the idea of what his life would have been like should he have married Polly. He might now be the one out for a walk with his wife, instead of standing in a room alone. He would have had no need to come here, no need to rely on his friend’s kindness and hospitality.
But then again, he would never have met Sophie.
Leaning his forehead against the cool glass for a moment, Leonard closed his eyes and tried to put all thoughts of Sophie out of his head, but he found he could not. She remained there, soothing the burning pain of Polly’s desertion, bringing a calmness to his soul that he had not been able to find before.
“Goodness, I am quite lost,” he muttered to himself, opening his eyes and leaning back from the window.
A sudden movement caught his eye. A footman was hurrying towards a figure coming along the garden path, which, as he watched, turned out to be none other than Sophie. She looked surprised as the footman handed her a letter, waiting until he had gone until she opened it.
His heart squeezed painfully, as he saw the way she pressed her hand to her mouth, evidently overcome with what she had read. The letter slipped from her fingers and began to blow along the path as she stood there, seemingly frozen in place. Then, with jerky movements, she began to hurry back the way she had come, delving deeply into the estate gardens, clearly quite upset by what she had read.
Leonard was down the stairs within a few minutes, his mind fixed on finding Sophie. Whatever it was she struggled with, he could not allow her to suffer alone.
The letter blew towards him, as though it was directing his steps. He did not read it but picked it up and tucked it into his pocket, thinking she might want to have it back at a later time.
Hurrying into the gardens, he restrained himself from calling out her name, growing somewhat desperate to find her. He did not want her to be out here alone, crying with the pain of what she had read. He knew all too well that being alone only added to feelings of despondency and hopelessness. Even if she did not want his presence, he would, at the very least, offer it to her.
The sound of sobs met his ears, and moving a little more cautiously, he soon spotted her sitting in the garden pergola, surrounded by a myriad of flowers and shrubs on either side.
“Sophie,” he said, hurrying forward. “Sophie, are you quite all right?”
She lifted her head and looked at him, no surprise in her eyes. Instead, there was a deep, tearing sadness that had him hurrying towards her, coming to sit right by her side.
“How did you know I was here?” she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.
“I was looking out at the gardens and happened to spot you. I would have sent your brother or even Catherine, but they are out for a walk somewhere and I did not know where they had gone,” he replied, fighting the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “And I picked up the letter you dropped, in case you want it.”
She looked up at him sharply, even though her lips trembled.
“I did not read it,” he continued quickly. “I just thought you might want to keep it, or re-read it, once the initial pain has passed.”
Her head dropped, her shoulders shaking. She did not say a single thing, tears dripping steadily onto her gown. Leonard was quite at a loss as to what to do, still unsure as to where the depths of her pain came from. Tentatively, he put one arm around her shoulders, and with the other hand, he pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. She accepted it, and as she wiped her eyes, she slowly began to turn towards him, burying her head in his shoulder.
Something clogged his throat, making it hard to breathe. Emotions rose up in him, swirling all through his heart. He wanted to rail at whomever it was that had done such damage to the lady, his own heart growing sore for her.
“You can read it, if you wish,” Sophie sniffed, the top of her head just underneath his chin. “My humiliation is complete, and I am quite sure everyone, including you, will find out at some point.”
Leonard shook his head, refusing to read something so private. “No, my dear Sophie. It is your business, your private letter. I cannot do so.”
“Please,” she urged. “I insist upon it.”
Still feeling rather unsure about the whole situation, Leonard reached for the letter with his free hand and tried to unfold it. It took a little time, for he did not wish to remove his hand from Sophie’s shoulder, but finally, he had it ready.
“My dear Sophie,” he began, his voice mumbling quietly. “I write to tell you that I am to wed Lord Crawford. All the arrangements have been made, and given the circumstances, Papa and Mama have agreed. Your loving sister, Juliette.”
A little unsure as to what the matter was, he folded up the letter and placed it back in his pocket, trying to think things over.
“My loving sister,” she whispered in a broken voice. “My loving sister, who kissed the man who was courting me, simply to prove a point.”
Leonard closed his eyes, his arm tightening around her shoulders. “Good gracious,” he murmured, truly horrified by what she had related. “I did not think someone c
ould be so callous.”
“I thought I loved him,” she continued, sitting up a little more to look into his face. “And yet my sister was determined to prove me wrong. She wanted to prove to me that I could not trust any man, that they would always have their heads turned by a better prospect.” Tears began to trickle down her cheeks once more, but she wiped them away, anger beginning to grow in her expression. “She told me that I must wait whilst she found a man to marry her first, despite my father saying quite the opposite. When I refused to do as she wished, she chose to prove to me that she was, in fact, the better prospect – and so my Lord Crawford showed his true colors. He was not faithful and true in the least. I do not believe he ever loved me.”
“Then that is his forfeiture” Leonard replied firmly, as he took her hand. “You should not grieve over such a man as he.”
Her expression softened, and tentatively, she reached up and ran her hand down his cheek. It was all Leonard could do not to lean into it, such was the tenderness of her touch.
“I suppose you well understand my pain,” she said softly. “My sister-in-law and you each spoke briefly about the trials you have recently undergone. I am truly sorry for what occurred, Huntington. My struggles pale in comparison.”
Leaning towards her, he fixed his gaze on hers. “No, do not think so. Your pain is a trial to you, just as mine is to me. We grieve together but let us not waste our time on those who have proved to be so untrue. We find the pieces of our hearts, and we slowly begin to put them back together again.” A wry smile touched his lips. “For weeks I hid in my home, allowing the pain to torture me. It was only in coming here and in meeting you that I began to see the light again. Do not allow this letter to take away the progress you have made thus far.”
Something flickered in her eyes as she looked back at him, and for a moment, Leonard was overcome with the urge to kiss her. She looked so vulnerably beautiful, the sweetness of her nature coming through even when she was going through something so painful.
“It is my sister’s acts that bring me the most grief,” she confessed, her eyes drifting away from his. “I find that the love I thought I had for Lord Crawford has already begun to diminish. Instead, it is the lack of sisterly affection that pains my soul.”
A small wave of relief crashed through Leonard’s heart. She was not as caught up with the man in question, which, for whatever reason, brought him a little hope. “That is a trial indeed,” he admitted quietly. “You have a wonderful brother and sister-in-law, however. I am sure they will allow you to remain here until the wedding is over.”
She sniffed and shook her head. “I cannot live here forever,” she whispered, her shoulders dropping. “I am no longer certain what path my future is to take.”
“Then we are as alike in that also,” Leonard replied with a slight smile. “Shall we be lost together for a while then? I am quite sure a companion—in cases such as this—is highly recommended.”
“Yes,” she replied, with the smallest of smiles. “I think that sounds like a rather good idea, Huntington.” Getting to her feet, she brushed down her skirts and took a deep breath. “I should find my brother now, I suppose.” Her cheeks dusted with color, as she held out the rather damp handkerchief towards him. “I should return this to you.”
Leonard chuckled and got to his feet, offering his arm. “I insist you keep it, Sophie. Come now, walk with me, and we shall go in search of your brother.”
She took his arm without hesitation, looking up at him for a moment. “Thank you, Huntington.”
He nodded and patted her hand as they walked, companionable silence growing between them – and he could not help but feel as though something else was there, too.
The beginnings of love.
13
By the time Sophie had finished explaining the contents of the letter to her brother and sister-in-law, a letter had arrived from their mother, written in a rather hurried hand. The letter contained information much the same as what Sophie had already heard from Juliette, although it did mention that both she and their father were not particularly pleased about the matter. However, under the circumstances, they had thought it best to allow the union, even though they knew it would hurt Sophie deeply. There was also the suggestion that someone other than Sophie had seen Juliette and Lord Crawford together, and that this was the only way they could prevent the great many rumors that might break at any moment.
The truth was, Sophie was broken by the news but found that it was not Lord Crawford’s behavior that stung—but rather that of her sister. She had known Juliette to be spiteful and selfish, but her recent behavior had shown Sophie just how far she would go in order to get what she wanted. Juliette had never been a warm and loving sister, and for that, Sophie was sorrowful. Yes, she had a wonderful brother and kind sister-in-law, but that was not the same as a bosom sister. Instead of being close to one another, they were as far apart as sisters could be, and that brought pain to her soul.
Having been reassured that she was to stay for as long as she wished, be it even a year, Sophie then spent the next few days trying to put all thoughts of her sister and Lord Crawford from her mind. She took long walks in the gardens, buried her head in a book, or joined in whatever amiable conversation was going on between the rest of her companions. Lord Huntington had been quite correct to encourage her not to let this news push her back into the despondency she had once been in. She was determined to forget them both - as much as she could, at least. There would be times where she would have to be in their presence, but those would be few and far between, and certainly not any time soon. It was time for her to consider her future and where she might go.
Setting her book to one side, Sophie studied the patterns on the plush carpet of the library and let her mind wander. Once Juliette was married, she mused, then her parents’ home would be free from any lingering presence of her sister. She could return home to her father’s country seat and live there quite happily, so long as Juliette and Lord Crawford did not intend to come for a prolonged visit themselves! She reasoned that, should they come, she could then return to Victor’s estate for a time. Unfortunately for her, Sophie realized that Juliette’s spiteful ways would not stop simply because she was a married woman – especially with someone as easily manipulated as Lord Crawford. Most likely, she might try to call on a regular basis, intending to dangle her happiness in front of Sophie in order to make her suffering increase.
Closing her eyes, she shook her head and tried not to think of it. There would be a lot of traveling in her future if her estimations about her sister were correct. And she would not have the support of her brother nor of Lord Huntington.
Her cheeks burned with color as she recalled how tenderly he had spoken to her, how his strong arm about her shoulders had brought her nothing but relief. She had not meant to lift her hand to his face in the way she had done, but she did not regret doing it. It had felt right.
The door to the library creaked open, and Lord Huntington stepped inside, stopping short on seeing her within.
“Oh, do excuse me,” he said at once with a sweeping bow. “I did not know you were in here. I will not disturb you.”
“No, no,” Sophie exclaimed, as the door began to close. “Come in, please. I am not reading, as you can see.” She threw him a slightly rueful smile, as she gestured to the closed book by her side. “I mean, I was trying to read, but I grew rather distracted by my thoughts.”
He did not reply. Instead, he came in and closed the door behind him, a letter in his hand. They had been together alone so often these last weeks that it no longer gave Sophie pause. Her sister-in-law was tired and sometimes ill with the pregnancy, and her brother was hardly able to make himself leave her side. Not that Sophie had minded, for Huntington had been rather good company when she needed him, and she had become rather fond of her own company at times.
She smiled at him as he made his way to the table in the corner where the brandy was kept.
“
You will not mind if I indulge?” he asked, his hand already holding the glass.
She shrugged. “Not in the least.” It was mid-afternoon after all, she supposed, but as he came to sit by her, she was surprised to see dark smudges under his eyes. He looked fatigued, as though he had not slept at all well. “Are you quite all right, Huntington?”
He threw down the letter he had been carrying in the middle of the table, his lip curling. “Apparently my beautiful bride to be did not quite manage to make it to Scotland with her chosen suitor. I am not sure of the details, but apparently, she has returned to her parents’ home in disgrace.”
Sophie felt her heart stop dead in her chest. Was he about to tell her that he had, therefore, chosen to return to Polly’s side, glad to be able to wed her after all? She could not say why such a thought brought her a striking amount of pain, forcing her to take deep, slow breaths.
Huntington shook his head, looking rather upset. “Her parents have written to me, begging me to take her as my wife, to rid them of the scandal that is sure to follow.”
“But that is ridiculous,” Sophie protested, her heart now hammering wildly. “You are not to blame for her actions, so why should you now be the one to aid her in this situation?”
“That is precisely what I think,” he replied, his eyes glittering dangerously. “The very nerve of them to write such a thing! I shall write and tell my butler not to forward any more letters that bear their seal!”
Sophie frowned, glancing from the letter to his dark features. “I am sorry you are so disturbed,” she said quietly. “I find their attitude rather surprising.”
He gave her a sad smile, his anger beginning to fade. “I think that they believed I love her still. They hope that my affection for her will overlook all of her sins and take her back into my arms.” A snort of derision escaped him. “They do not understand that my love for Polly has both died and been buried.”
Regency Engagements Box Set Page 53