Xavier: A Friends-to-Lovers MMA Romance (A Cocky Cage Fighter Legacy Novel Book 1)

by Lane Hart

  “No, but I was planning to before I move back to Maryland.”

  “Jesus, Xavier! Your wedding ring isn’t stuck; you are!” Cass exclaims. Crossing her arms over her chest, she glares at me and says, “You’re such an idiot. You still love her, don’t you?”

  “She’s my wife. I promised her forever. It’s not easy to just say to hell with all that.”

  “And yet you didn’t seem to mind screwing me while you’re still ‘technically married,’” Cass replies with air quotes around the two words. “God, you are still the lying playboy you were in high school! Guess some things never change, do they?”

  “Cass, I’m sorry I didn’t explain the situation better when it came up, but now I know what I want – I want to be with you, Cass, only you!”

  “How many?” she asks through gritted teeth.

  “How many what?”

  “How many women did you sleep with after you and she split up?” she clarifies.

  “What does that have to do with anything?” I challenge. “I was going to get a divorce, I swear. It’s just a big decision!”

  “And you hate making big decisions, don’t you? You just sit back and wait for them to be made by someone else. You let a scholarship pick your college, location chose law school, then you let Camilla decide where the two of you would live. Were you waiting for Camilla to serve you with papers?”

  “No, I was going to do it,” I assure her.

  “Like you were going to quit your job to move back here to go after your dream?”

  “Yes!”

  “Bullshit!” Cass yells at me. “You’ve never done what you wanted, Xavier. And you never will. I was stupid to think that you had changed, that you would man up and decide something for yourself!”

  Her accusation is a low blow, a brutal kick to the nuts.

  “I have changed,” I tell her. “You changed me. This week with you has been the best of my life, Cass, not just tonight.”

  “Come by and get your shit from my place before you go back to Seattle. It’ll be out in the front yard!” she shouts as she starts for the door. I hurry to get in front of it to keep her from leaving.

  “Cass, wait. I’m not going back to Seattle. I want to be with you. I want to live here and train and have everything I’ve ever wanted.”

  “No, Xavier. You fucked up whatever chance we could’ve had when you didn’t tell me the truth!” Her hands shove me back against the door as tears fill her eyes. “I’m sick of waiting on you! I waited twenty years for you to love me back. It’s time for me to stop deluding myself into thinking that’s ever going to happen and finally move on.”

  “Cass, please…”

  “Move!” she screams. “Get out of my way and get out of my life, Xavier. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t visit me ever again. I want you out of my life so I can get the hell over you! At least now you’ve made it easier to do, because I don’t want to even look at you!”

  Seeing the pain on her face, pain I caused, I finally step aside to let her leave. I can’t make her stay here with me, no matter how much I want to.

  Cass storms out and slams the door behind her for good measure, as if I didn’t already know she’s pissed.

  Great. Cass was right. I fucked everything up with her and know she meant every word she said.

  As soon as I get rid of my wife, I’ll go to Cass’s house and camp out if I have to until she will hear me out. She has to forgive me, right?

  It takes me three tries before I get all the buttons in the right hole on my shirt because I’m so flustered. After I slip my jacket back on, I head for the gym.

  Camilla spots me around the same time I see her platinum hair across the room. She struts right through the dance floor in her flimsy, black dress, coming to a stop in front of me.

  “Hi, baby,” she croons and starts to put her arms around me. I grab them to push her away before that happens.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I snap at her.

  Her model perfect face falls and she says, “You left the invitation on the refrigerator. Remember when we had talked about coming together?”

  “That was before you fucked Arnold,” I grumble. “You shouldn’t have come. Go home, Camilla.”

  Squaring her shoulders, she says, “Not without you. I miss you, baby.”

  I start to say I don’t miss her, but that would be a lie. Things were good before her affair, or at least I thought they were.

  “You’re still wearing your wedding band,” she gasps as she grabs my hand. I grit my teeth but don’t jerk away from her. “I haven’t taken mine off either.” She wiggles her fingers in front of my face to show me.

  “It’s just stuck,” I tell her.

  Without another word, Camilla leans over, opening her mouth to stick several of my fingers, including the one with the ring into her mouth. Her teeth come down around the band, and then she pulls back and shows the gold to me from between her teeth. “Not stuck anymore.”

  When she pulls the ring out of her mouth and holds it up, I grab it and cram it into my pocket while the urge to take a hot shower to wash her mouth off of me rises.

  “Xavier, baby, I know you were angry at me and needed time to get revenge. Are you done sleeping around so we can be together again?”

  “Are you out of your fucking mind? How could I ever forgive you?” I ask.

  “You were never home; and even when you were, you acted like I was invisible!” she exclaims.

  “So it’s my fault you wanted someone else’s dick. Got it. Thanks for clarifying that,” I huff.

  “No, what happened with Arnold was my fault,” Camilla says. “But I thought you were cheating on me when you wouldn’t come home until midnight.”

  “I was working!”

  “How could I be sure?” she asks. “Arnold said you were awfully close with your secretary…”

  “Oh, fuck him! I didn’t cheat on you,” I assure her. “Well, not until after I left you. And when have I ever lied to you?”

  “So you weren’t lying when you promised to love me through good times and bad?” Camilla asks with a pout.

  “I guess we should’ve had an exception clause. Affairs are not bad times; they’re game fucking over!”

  “Then why were you still wearing your ring?” she asks.

  “I don’t know!”

  “Yes, you do.” Grabbing my hand and squeezing it in hers, she says, “Let’s just go home. I’ve got two plane tickets booked for us. We can leave tonight.”

  “No,” I say, jerking my hand out of her grip and pushing her away from me. “I need to go see Cass.”

  “Why?” Camilla asks. “Did you sleep with her? Is that why she ran out of here looking like a hot mess? I knew it! I knew she wanted to get her claws in you! Let’s go see her so I can remind her who you belong to!”

  “I sure as hell don’t belong to you!” I tell her.

  “You’re still my husband, and I’m your wife,” she says with her fist propped up on her hip. “We can make this work, Xavier. I know a great marriage counselor back home. I went to see your parents and they agreed that counseling is what we need to get us right back on track.”

  “It’s not that easy,” I start, wanting to tell her that I’m falling in love with Cass and she’s who I want to be with.

  “I can forgive you for screwing however many women you’ve been with. Why can’t you forgive me for just one? It was only one time! One mistake that I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”

  “I don’t buy that for a second,” I tell her.

  “I swear, baby. It was just that one day. It never happened again either, even after you left me.”

  “Even if that’s true, I can’t go back to the way things were,” I explain. “I haven’t forgiven you yet.”

  “It’s been six months! Time’s up. We’re going home. You have work Monday, and we’ll see the therapist first thing. Come on,” she says, taking my hand again. “Your parents are waiting up to see
us before our flight.”

  Removing my hand from hers yet again, I say, “I’m quitting my job in Seattle.”

  “So? You can find another law firm if you’re not happy,” Camilla says.

  “No. I want to quit practicing law to move back here and train.”

  “Train?” she exclaims. “Train for what?”

  “Getting back into the cage. Fighting.”

  A burst of laughter is her response. “Don’t be silly, baby. Why would you want to mess up your gorgeous face? I couldn’t bear to see you get hurt like that. And what would your mom say about you giving up law to get hit over and over again? Or your dad about trying to ride his coattails in the cage? How embarrassing would it be if you’re not as good as your little sister?”

  “I could always go back to law later on,” I point out.

  “Would anyone hire you after having your head bashed around by fists in the cage? That sort of thing would have malpractice written all over it. Then how would you get by and pay the bills?”

  “Fuck you,” I mutter. I wish I had a better argument to disagree with her, but Camilla actually is making good points. And I fucking hate her for it.

  And when she grabs my arm again, I pull away so hard that she stumbles backward in her heels, running into a couple on the dance floor, and causing everyone who wasn’t already staring at us to start.

  “I don’t know how many more times I need to tell you,” I seethe at her. “We are done, Camilla! And first thing Monday morning, I’m going to get a divorce attorney and make it official. Now stay the hell away from me!”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Cassidy

  BANG! BANG! BANG!

  “Cass, please open the door and talk to me,” Xavier says after he knocks so hard the walls of my house rattle. My back is to the front door as I sit in front of it, the same place I’ve been since I walked through it half an hour ago and finally let myself fall apart.

  “I should’ve told you the whole truth when I first got to town, I know, but I had no idea that it would matter, that what we did tonight would happen!”

  Great, just the reminder I needed that he didn’t want me except as a spur-of-the-moment decision tonight. Awesome.

  “You’re upset and I get it, but I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best friend.”

  Friend, right. Nothing more.

  There’s a loud thump like Xavier slammed his head against the door. “I fucked things up with you, and I hate hurting you. That’s the last thing I wanted to happen. Please talk to me, Cass.”

  There’s no way I can face him right now with so many tears streaming down my cheeks that the sides of my hair are wet and my face all red and blotchy. Camilla, the cunt, called me a hot mess when I was leaving the gym and she was right about that.

  “I’ve loved spending time with you this week,” Xavier says. “And I’m sorry I lied by omission. A huge omission. I just didn’t want to talk about her, period. You have no idea what she did to me, how badly she hurt me. I wasn’t ready to admit defeat yet. I hate giving up, so I was waiting to see if I could forgive her. But I can’t. She cheated on me, Cass.”

  Oh, wow. That woman is even stupider than I thought.

  “And maybe I could eventually forgive her for betraying me,” Xavier adds. “But now I realize that it doesn’t matter if I ever forgive her or not, because I just don’t want to be with her. Not because of the cheating, but because I’m no longer in love with her. I’m certain of my decision now, and I am going to get a divorce as soon as fucking possible. I only want to be with you, Cass. You have to believe me.”

  He stops talking for several seconds before he says, “Cass? Do you hear me? I’m moving back home, and I’m going to give fighting a shot, and I want you by my side, in my corner every second of every day. In fact, I’m so certain that’s what I want that I’ll call my boss right now and quit!”

  Faintly through the door I can hear a phone ringing like Xavier put the call on speaker. “Mr. McCormick, hey. It’s Xavier Malone. Sorry to call you so late, but this couldn’t wait. The reason I’m calling is…I quit. Effective immediately.”

  There’s several moments of the man’s mumbled voice talking, but I can’t make out the words.

  Finally, Xavier says, “Oh. I did forget about the required two-week notice in my contract, and I will absolutely follow through with that. Yes, sir. I’ll see you Monday.” There’s a beep followed by Xavier raising his voice. “Did you hear that, Bambi? I have to work my notice at the law firm, but that’s okay. I need to hire an attorney there to file for divorce anyway and pack my things,” Xavier adds. “I’m going to finally do it, Bambi, I swear. I’m sure I could give you a million excuses for why I haven’t yet, but they’re all stupid. Maybe, before this week, I wasn’t sure if I could ever love someone else the way I loved her. Which is ridiculous now that I think about it, because I’ve always loved you more than her. I just didn’t realize what we have could be more than friendship until this week, you know?”

  Jackass. How dare he try to say sweet shit and make me cry harder?

  “I’ll be back in exactly two weeks, okay?” he says. “You can count on that. I’ll walk right out of that office and jump on a plane. Then I need you to forgive me, because you may be the only person other than Coach who thinks I can have a fighting career.”

  Of course you can fight, you stubborn fool.

  “I don’t want to leave you, not even for fourteen days,” Xavier tells me. “You know, you could come with me if you want to. We could stay at a hotel and spend every second in bed until I have to go to work. You could go to all the tourist spots and go up in the needle, sending me pictures all day of your adventures.”

  “I guess you’re too pissed to fly across the country with me,” he adds, stating the obvious. “So I’ll leave you alone for now, give you a few weeks to miss me and consider forgiving me. Hopefully. But I’m leaving my things in your house for when I return, and I won’t stop calling you or texting you until I get back in town. Bye for now, Cass.”

  When I hear the sound of Xavier’s rental car cranking up as he leaves, the first sob breaks free followed by several more as my heart crumbles into a million pieces, wanting to believe him, that Xavier wants to be with me, but terrified I’m only getting my hopes up.

  Xavier

  After taking an Uber to Cass’s house where she refused to talk to me, I was sober enough to get into my rental car and drive over to Macy’s apartment complex.

  I call my sister from the parking lot.

  “What’s up?” she asks when she answers on the second ring.

  “Good. You’re still awake. Can I stay with you tonight?”

  “Ah, why can’t you stay with Cassidy?”

  “Long story. Let me in. I’m sitting outside in the parking lot.”

  “Done,” she says as I hear her turning the lock and pulling open the door. “Now get your ass in here and start talking.”

  “On my way up,” I tell her as I climb out of the car and end our call.

  “Whoa, Zave,” Macy says when I walk into her apartment and she shuts the door behind me. “You look like shit.”

  “Good, it matches how I feel.”

  “Why do you look and feel shitty?” she asks, folding her legs underneath her as she sits down on one end of the sofa and I flop down on the other side.

  “I fucked up.”

  Macy’s jaw drops dramatically before she says, “Xavier Malone fucked up? No, I can’t believe it. You’re Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect doesn’t ever fuck up.”

  “Well he did. I did. And I’m not Mr. Perfect.”

  “Tell Mom and Dad that,” Macy snorts.

  “I slept with Cass,” I blurt out.

  Rather than look shocked, my sister rolls her dark brown eyes and says, “Finally! That’s a good thing, though, not a fuck up.”

  “It is a good thing. Or was,” I agree. “Until Camilla showed up at our reunion and Cass realized I hadn’t told her the entire
truth about our divorce.”

  “What about the divorce?” Macy asks.

  “I haven’t technically filed for one yet.”

  With a gasp, my sister leans over and then slaps the shit out of the back of my head. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “You haven’t been married!” I point out. “You don’t understand the pressure you feel to try and make that shit work, no matter what. I was waiting to see if I could forgive Camilla for screwing around on me.”

  “She fucked someone else?” Macy says with genuine surprise on her face. “That’s why you left her, not for being a nagging, evil money-sucking witch?”

  “Yep.”

  “Wow, Zave, that’s…wow,” she mutters.

  “I think I wanted to try to forgive her and I kept waiting for that to happen. It never did, though,” I explain. “And I don’t think I want to forgive her. Now, I’m certain I don’t want to be with her.”

  “Good for you,” Macy agrees. “So you’re gonna get a divorce?”

  “Absolutely. Tomorrow, I’m heading back to Seattle, and first thing Monday morning I’m going to find an attorney and start the process.”

  “But that doesn’t exactly help resolve Cass’s anger at you for lying to her, right?”

  “Exactly,” I reply with a sigh. “And things were so perfect tonight. I want to be with Cass. There’s no doubt in my mind that we could be great together.”

  “Well, duh,” Macy huffs. “Cassidy has known that for years, but you ignored her and then left for college and got married.”

  “I didn’t ignore her,” I grumble. “We were best friends. I just didn’t take a second to consider her as more…”

  “Now you have. But you screwed it up.”

  “Right,” I say.

  “Well, for starters, you can’t expect her to forgive you for lying and then concede to a long-distance relationship,” Macy says.

  “I’m not. I had already decided to move home to train, so being with Cass here is an added benefit,” I ramble, saying way too much.

  “Back the hell up,” my sister says, having obviously caught my slip. “Did you say you’re moving home to train?”