Memoirs of the Brightside of the Moon

by Ginger Gilmour

  Mrs. Tweedie was gifted the use of the downstairs flat of one of her disciples, Llewellyn and Anati Vaughan-Leigh. It was a semi- detached home composed of two bedrooms, kitchen, sitting room, and bathroom. As one entered there were two bedrooms, one either side of the entrance corridor, which then led to a larger room full of light from the garden windows. On the left was a smaller room, the kitchen, where tea was served after meditation. When I entered, it was just 3:00 p.m.

  Everyone was lying on the floor in most of the rooms with blankets covering them. I was having trouble finding a place to sit, stepping carefully amongst all the people. I was a bit lost as to what to do when Mrs. Tweedie offered me the empty chair next to her. "Sit here Love,"she beckoned graciously. She always sat in a swivel black leather chair. There were two. I was rather shy and trembled a bit as I sat there meditating while everyone else was lying on the floor. It had taken me years to be able to sit in lotus so this was rather different. But I got used to it over time. Mrs. Tweedie would say that we would be freer if we laid down.

  Anati and Llewellyn lived upstairs with their two children. Every day while meditating the children would come home from school. They had a metal spiral staircase leading up to their bedrooms and we could hear stomp, stomp, stomp, as they went up and down. At first, this was disturbing but after a while, it proved invaluable. I say invaluable because I could meditate anywhere after that experience, i.e., on the train, in traffic, on the bus with children screaming. Invaluable.

  After meditation, Mrs. Tweedie would ask people to share their dreams. Historically, in the Sufi Tradition one learned from parables handed down through the ages. In this era, teaching stories, are told from dreams. She said that there were four dreams:

  Dreams that would give you hints as to what you need psychologically to focus on or let go.

  Dreams that were from your soul and guide you on your path.

  Dreams of the collective, which might also include future events for humanity.

  Finally, Dreams, which were teaching dreams from a

  higher source, i.e., God or his messenger who might be a living master visible or invisible.

  The afternoon would finish with Tea and biscuits or special cakes that others would bring to share. I was sitting in the kitchen when Mrs Tweedie came in and sat down with me. "Ginger, how did you know to come see me?" she asked. I told her about Diane and my Alexander Treatments. "Please tell me more about yourself." I told her I was married to a guitarist in Pink Floyd, after which, she called over Miriam Freedman, one of her disciples, to join us. "Miriam, this is Ginger Gilmour and she is married to the Pink Panther." Miriam was confused, as she knew that Peter Sellers had died in 1980, but later we straightened that out. We have chuckled over that one through the years.

  Miriam Freedman was graced to receive many dreams for the collective. Mrs. Tweedie said that she should compile them into a book so mankind could benefit from them. Years later, when they were complete, Miriam asked me to do the illustrations, and the book was published. The book's title is Under the Mango Tree, in which there are many dreams that serve as modern day parables. One of my favorite stories from that book and illustrations is called "A Lion and a Rabbit." Here is a synopsis:

  Once there was a great Lion who roared and brought fear to all of the animal kingdom because he would eat them for his dinner. The animals would scurry under the bushes whenever they heard him coming. One day a little rabbit approached him. He roared and roared but the little rabbit was not afraid. He just sat there staring up at the Lion. The Lion said to him in a very stern voice, "Why are you not afraid of me. I could eat you for my lunch!" The rabbit replied, "Oh Great Lion. Please do not eat me. It is not necessary." "And why not,"he exclaimed getting a bit angry, "I am hungry!" "Well, I am not afraid for I have a way that we could all work together in harmony without eating us." "'Well, how is that possible?" the Lion inquired rather loudly. "Well, we could bring you your food from animals who had died naturally and in return you could protect us." The Lion raised his head in thought. The rabbit continued, "As a result, we would no longer fear you killing us and we could work together insuring the forest would be a safe and happy place to live." And so it came to be. The Lion agreed and all the animals lived together in Peace. (2) I once had a dream where I was in a marble catacomb lying on a raised altar. There were maidens in white, chanting while walking around me in a slow rhythmic procession. I seemed asleep adorned with flowers and dressed in a similar white robe. At some point, I awakened. They rejoiced for I had returned to the land of the living. They wept with Joy as they helped me sit up. As I got down from the altar, they said in unison, "WE are so happy you have returned to us!" When I shared this dream with Mrs. Tweedie we were sitting on the bed in the main room, she put her arm around me and said, "Ginger, you and I have something in common. Neither of us wanted to be here. The world is so cruel at times, but we have a purpose. We are meant to be here. We have work to do." She put her hand on my back for a few moments. She would often do that to me. I felt such warmth and love, which seem to take away the hurts in my heart that I carried. Her hands spoke to me that all would be ok.

  After that dream, many things began to change within me. Life's challenges became a great divine adventure. It was full of hints for me to listen and then respond. My challenges were no longer a breaking down, but a breaking through. They were a means to reach Heaven on Earth. The hints keep coming, guiding me all along the way to finding what "I was born to BE." I was One with our Creator. Life became more of a painting whose finished picture would be full of bliss. My fear and resistance of being on the Earth was changing into being a wonderful journey and I was the conductor! I had a choice to believe the spin around me or to believe that we were Divine children of God with a purpose.

  Often Mrs. Tweedie would give us a private moment with herin one of the side rooms. I had been writing and illustrating a children's book and brought the drawings along to show her. She led me into the room so that we could be alone. We both sat on the bed while she took her time and looked deeply at each one. She lifted her head and looked at me with her blue eyes then shifted her gaze going inward.

  Then from a place of deep thought, she said to me, "Ginger, I have known three enlightened men in my lifetime. One was my spiritual teacher Guruji, the other I cannot name and the third is Cecil Collins, who teaches Life Drawing in the City Lit and the ILEA here in London. I would like you to take his class." "Yes, Mrs. Tweedie, how do I do that?" She said, "Well I suppose you go to the City Lit and sign up. And may I tell you that after a while between him and me there won't be much left but rice paper!" She laughed her blue eyes full of sparkles. I replied as she ushered me out the door, "Well, at least it will be eatable!" My days were full being a mom of three, David's wife, and head of running a large household, including several holiday homes. Nevertheless, I found a day to get over to the City Lit admission office to fill in the form. It would take a few days for them to reply so I continued to work on my book. I continued doing what my day required me to do waiting with anticipation.

  Finally! The notification came but it was not of acceptance. His classes were full. I went off concerned to tell Mrs. Tweedie. She just said, "Oh?" with a puzzled look on her face and went into the other room. However, within a few days, I received a second card, which was of acceptance. Years later, I found out that she had sent word to Cecil via Miriam Freedman saying that she really wanted me to do his classes. She had pulled strings as we say in Rock 'n' Roll. Therefore, a new cycle was beginning for me creatively.

  CHAPTER 46

  SEARCHING FOR HUMILITY

  1983

  My path was leading me more into conscious awareness of my humanity. I was becoming aware that the ripples that I created either separated me from the world, or joined me together in community spirit with everyone upon the Earth. It was important to feel the gentle breeze of my thoughts as I walked down the street sending a smile to passers by. A smile, not in need of acceptance, but fr
om a desire to give because everyone seemed so beautiful. Life was hugging me each day and I wanted to share it. Sir Paul McCartney and Linda were creating a film based on his love of Rupert the Bear Stories of his childhood. It was a short film, Rupert and The Frog Song, which had its first release in 1983. Sir Paul sought to capture the sense of wonder and adventure in childhood that never dies within us all. Perhaps it awakened a memory forgotten? The innocence of the animation and the music certainly captured my heart, especially the theme song called the "Frog Song" also known as "We all stand together." In 1986 it became a hit and the animated film received Best Music Video at the Grammy's. To this day, the joy in the film has often found myself and my children holding hands singing, along with the frogs on the telly, dancing and rejoicing together. Now it is our grand- daughter's turn. Thank you Sir Paul and Linda. While Paul and Linda were in the final stages of its completion, they asked David to play on the song during the final credits. The video was released in 1984 and we were invited to attend the premier held in Soho. I decided that I wanted to dress low-key and work on my humility in the public arena. The quality of humility was coming more into focus, on my Journey and path of return to God. Could I handle not being noticed, standing out in the crowd, standing by my famous Rockstar husband, humble? So I wore a long gabardine white skirt, white boots with a white jumper with tiny embroidered flowers knitted for me by Rita who cared for our house. The Premier was held in a club that seemed very dark inside. Everyone was wearing black, which was the fashion at the time. I was astonished as I walked to our seats for my plan did not work. I stood out like a light bulb, as I was the only one wearing white. I was extremely noticeable as the spotlights panned over the crowd of famous and not so famous people. The story went on into the next morning. Johnny Walker on his morning radio show spoke of the evening and the lady in white. I would have to try harder to be less auspicious, if that was my wish.

  My next attempt was on a trip with Mrs. Tweedie in 1987 to San Francisco. I was traveling with Matthew and my sister-in-law, Catha Gilmour. Most of her group booked a room at the Holiday Inn across the Bay. So I decided to book into the same hotel to insure we were part of the group. I did not want to be set apart from them. I rented a car from the airport and drove to the hotel despite being tired with jet lag, with a young child and not knowing how to get there. It was long before having GPS but we made it. I had requested joining rooms for I was very much the Mum. My nannies were really substitutes for the family I did not have living across the ocean. There we were, checking in ready to go to bed after a ten-hour flight when the registrar broke the news, "Sorry, Mrs. Gilmour, we have your rooms on separate floors." My mind went into a spin. I had specifically booked adjoining rooms as I wanted to be close to Matthew. "Sorry Mrs. Gilmour, but we have a conference staying with us,"he said apologetically. I was annoyed. What else could I do? I had to surrender. I signed in and went to my room with Matthew and Catha in tow until we figured out what to do next. I was steaming with irritation, pacing the room, waiting for our bags. Hands on my hips I parted the curtains to look across the bay. At least we had a view when I noticed this beautiful white German-like castle sitting upon the hill opposite.

  I phoned the front desk as our bags were late and we needed to change Matthew's nappie. "Excuse me, Kate, I have not received our bags yet. Do you know when they will arrive? Also, Can you tell me what the white castle is across the bay?" She said it was the Claremont Hotel. I immediately called them to see if they had a room, which they did. The desk allowed us to cancel our room with no charge. Back into the car, we went jet lagged, bags and all. One advantage to being a Rock 'n' Roll wife was having the ability to turn on a dime even with kids.

  When we arrived, we were greeted by a rather concerned registrar, "I am sorry Mrs. Gilmour, but the person dealing with registrations got it wrong. We don't have a room."My inner calm left me in that moment, pleading, struggling to speak with a tear, "OMG. What are we going to do? We have just flown in from London with my young child. We cancelled our other reservation and we need a room." She went to speak with her manager and returned with a solution. As it was their mistake, they would give us one of their suites.

  I was so grateful. But a thought lingered. How could I live as Rock Royalty when I saw so much poverty around me? The Lama did call me "The auspicious lamp of the Dharma." The question would surface again and again. What is it to be humble? My inquiry led me to discover that there are three spiritual paths. The first is complete surrender of material things. The second is to live in a community where everything is shared. And the third, is to accept material prosperity but use it to help those in need.

  In the end, it did turn out rather well as many of the group and Mrs. Tweedie often came for tea. Once again, I felt that God had his plan and we were being looked after. What my service for humanity was to be - had not yet been revealed. I just knew "We All had to Stand Together" in Peace and Humility.

  CHAPTER 47

  FLYING AGAIN

  ABOUT FACE

  1984

  After the recording of Final Cut, it seemed like there was a final cut in the relationships within the band. Rick had already left, not amicably, during the Wall. Roger had turned further to dominate, trying to exclude David from collaborating with the concept for the Final Cut. The theme primarily focused on a critique of the Falklands War as well as Roger's personal betrayal from his father again.

  The Floyd needed to produce another album to comply with their record contract. Roger's vision and his one pointed drive after The Wall, pushed him on. He thought the Floyd was his. Consequently, this did not leave much creative room for David to participate. Nor inspire David, for Roger's energy was like a little boy clinging selfishly to his toy (It's mine, It's mine). Besides, what for? Why should David contribute? The original way of creating an album was gone. In fact, how could he under those circumstances? During this cycle, I felt that Roger should have gone it alone in his own creative process, but the ties that bind still held on. Did he use the lads when he should have had the courage to let go? He insisted he was doing them a favor. With strings? Who can say upon reflection? Tensions ran high. Neither David nor Nick felt it was over, even as Roger treated them as though they were not there at times. The album was not the Floyd we knew and loved. Nor was it reflective of group metamorphosis. The delicate sounds of Rick's piano and David's distinct voice were almost gone. Roger's angst once again appeared without the balance of the others. But David held on. The Floyd was part of him. After so many years Roger could not just say, "It's over!" I supported this in whatever way David deemed necessary to maintain his honor. Bob Geldof said during the filming of the Wall "Democracy on the set is a hundred people doing what I tell them!" That statement was true on the film set. It was about Roger and Alan Parker then, but the truth of the comment also applied while recording the Final Cut. It was apropos for Roger was freezing David and Nick out. It was far from a democracy.

  I stayed away from the studio most of the time. Life was full of family life at Hook End. In fact, I don't think I have ever listened to the album. I had had enough of the sound of war and conflict as the sound of Beauty was disappearing behind the Wall that still stood. I could feel the winds of change and prayed for a fruitful one.

  David spent a lot of time over at Mick Ralph's, formerly of Mott the Hoople and Bad Company. It was boys together smoking and drinking, playing guitar and laughing for a change having fun. He had decided to take some time to reflect and do a solo album. Over time, it began to manifest and Pete Townsend helped with its birth as a co-writer. Bob Ezrin, Michael Kamen, Andy Jackson and James Guthrie came on board once again.

  This meant that there was some semblance, some continuity of what went before, but with more space, more freedom for David to create. It was an opportunity to step out of the part he had been forced to play with the Floyd, to dare to open up again. It did not mean he was giving in to Roger's belief that it was over. He just needed to fly, to breathe again. It
was a very joyful phase. His team were so supportive not only creatively but also in heart. David said in an interview from the Source, "Doing this album I wanted to make a really good record. I did not want to do it very, very quickly, and I wanted to get the best musicians in the worldthat I could get hold of to play with me. So I thought I'd just make a little list of all my favorite musicians, you know, best drummer, best bass player, best keyboard player, and I'll work through the list to see who I can get. Jeff Porcaro was top of my drummers list, Pino Palladino was top of my bass players list, and Ian Kewley, or the Rev, as he is known, he actually came and did the bulkof the Hammond and piano playing and he was terrific. Steve Winwood was top of my keyboard playing list but he couldn't do most of the album, but I got him to do a bit. He played Hammond organ on "Blue Light." I had a bit more time and was feeling a bit freer about things on this album... just more "accidents" tend to occur." (1) At the same time, it did feel like we were walking on eggshells. Roger had announced that he was leaving the band and forsure, he felt the band was finished! We were in shock as the story began to unfold. David was caught between self-preservation, being driven by his determination and right to go forth. Plus, wondering can he do it alone? Was he too stuck in the formula? Was the formula actually his way forward? Time would tell.

  Right now, he had to focus on About Face. Questions floated between the creative lines of his thoughts; what would my listeners think? Can I play to smaller audiences, in smaller halls, without a huge production? Who am I? Many thoughts that were kept silent - came and went as he focused on the birth of ABOUT FACE. Some he shared. Some he did not.