Memoirs of the Brightside of the Moon

by Ginger Gilmour

  David and Annie were standing at the bar when I approached to tell them it was midnight. It was time to relieve my brother from his duties as agreed. As I was feeling a bit poorly, I decided that I would go back to the hotel. Annie could stay if she wanted. I waited for a few minutes for their response then turned and walked briskly towards the door. As I approached an invisible energy force, seem to hit me preventing my exit. I felt faint and was about to collapse. Warwick and Raff Ravenscroft, the saxophone player for the band caught me. Raff and his girlfriend guided me out of the door like protectors and we all got into a cab back to the hotel.

  Raff had been there the night before at another party. He said that there was a very demonic and hypnotic energy in the place and it was best that I left when I did. Raff was a friend and he knew how sensitive I was. I never heard of, nor consciously experienced anything like this before. Apparently, he grew up aware that there was more to life than what was visible because his parents were Steiner teachers. He was familiar with the story of God and Lucifer. And Demons apparently. I had only seen it in the movies as some fantasy of some writer. What I had learned in catechism held a pale image to this. It felt like I was in a horror movie and I was worried that David would be all right.

  We all went to the hotel bar until they were sure I was stable. Stephen had been great and the girls were sound asleep safe from the storm. The next day I was glad when we left the city. I was very disturbed by this experience. One, which I could not share with many. Had this been a hallucination? Perhaps an Acid Flashback? Were Demons real? According to Jungian philosophy, hallucination or not it was my reality. I had to get to the bottom of it. I did not like it. I prayed to take it away. I was a sensitive and a delicate flower struggling to hold love and beauty as my primary focus. It was enough that my mother always worried about the Rock 'n' Roll life I had chosen to live. But this? The anxiety of the Wall had been enough of a reality to cope with up until then. I was entering a spiritual crisis it seems. Perhaps, upon reflection, it was an awakening forme. So, before we left, I spoke to someone back in the UK who could pass on a message to Mrs. Tweedie. She was the only person I knew at the time to give me a deeper insight about this experience. We were not churchgoers. I had left my faith in Christ behind me. I waited anxiously for a reply when finally I received a message from her saying not to worry that I was protected. She said that I should come to see her when I got home so she could further help me understand that God always protects his children of light. She told me that I was on the right path.

  The girls and I traveled back home to England while David continued his American tour. I would join him later in California. As soon as the girls settled in their normal routine and back in school, I went to see Mrs. Tweedie as she requested. She took me into her private room and sat me before her on the bed. Looking at me, her blue eyes filled with compassion, she said, "Now, dear, tell me what happened." I shivered from the memory as I related the whole story back to her. She then gave me a protection visualization and said, "One day you will not need any protection for the Love of God will increase within you and Love will take the place of all your fears." And she was right.

  CHAPTER 54

  LIVE AID

  WE CAN FEED THE WORLD 1984

  1984

  We were staying at the Sunset Marque in Hollywood, California and I invited a dear friend Laurie Scott over for lunch and then to the show. It had been years since we had been together. We had so much to share, lots of children's stories to tell. We met first in the afternoon at the hotel while David was doing his sound check. She was very involved with the Ethiopian Crisis. A crisis? It was the first that I had heard of it because caring for my children kept me focused in another direction. I found the information she revealed very shocking. They needed help! We presented the information to David, who was open to participating in doing a show but in the UK. I wished that I played guitar so I could do more.

  Laurie only had a three-week window to organize things and discuss it further with us, as we would be going to Lindos after returning home. The Concert was to be called "One Life, One World" and to be held at Wembley Stadium on the 9-10 of March 1985. She was pushing time but miracles do happen. Jonathan Weston and Henry Newman were her main team. We allowed Laurie the use of our London Home on Maida Ave until they secured offices. Harvey Goldsmith was to be their promoter thanks to our connection. She was operating on a shoe-string budget and worked day and night. Her heart was so motivated to succeed in helping the starving people in Ethiopia. She was inspiring many. Germaine Greer called out to the world saying, "All they have is dirt! For God sake, we must help them!" The fervor was building. Her cry for help still rings in my head whenever I read her words.

  It was a major task and I was a novice. Laurie worked and organized many events previously for Humanity. She was a trooper. I spoke to Bob Geldof often since the making of the Wall. He said that he would support it. The climate of the day with many stars was of great resistance. Many were suspicious of anything like this at the time. It was hard work inspiring them. Even George Harrison came to David and advised him not to let me get involved. He said, "I went through a nightmare for nearly nine years with the tax man over the Bangladesh Concert. In the end not many were helped just the lawyers." He continued, "Your heart may be motivated, committed, devoted but getting it done, then facing the process of the tax man and then making sure the money got to the people is a nightmare. Don't do it!" I think this cast a cloud over David. I continued, but it felt like a salmon going upstream. I had lost my ballast. Laurie and I met with Bob at Fortnum and Masons and asked if he would give us support getting acts. I created a poster, which Bob said directly as he does, "That's too pretty." We still chatted most days on the phone, as we were friends. There were many other meetings searching for sponsorship. Time was passing and each day 40 people were dying under those white tents in the baking sun. The tide was turning but not in our direction. Both Laurie and Jonathan worked day in and day out, struggling to find the light at the end of the tunnel hoping for a miracle.

  In October 1984, images of millions of people starving to death in Ethiopia's famine were broadcast on Michael Buerk's BBC News reports. Bob saw it and was shocked. The images were riveting and went deep. It further motivated him. He had to do something to help. He called Midge Ure hoping to get him on board. They formed Band Aid with the intention of recording a single to raise money. In December, Bob, Midge and many stars got together and recorded "Do They Know it is Christmas?" This started to change the momentum in the minds of many stars. In America USA for Africa recorded, "We Are The World." Despite this, Harvey Goldsmith withdrew from our concert, which was a great disappointment. Later we were to discover why. Bob was called by God to carry forth the mission. None of us knew this at the time and was not the way we thought. We were just carried along by the tide.

  However, the suspicions did not stop there even though the record was a success. Band Aid money was still questioned, but despite it, Bob Geldof had the tenacity to badger the stars and the money-men. He played the game and went to Ethiopia with the supplies. He wrestled with the press and succeeded. Bob was described as the "Terrier that wouldn't let go." He announced to the press, "I am going to do my own F***ing concert." So that was it. Harvey left our ship for another. Looking at the video of the making of Live Aid, I understand more the process he and Harvey went through to make it happen. I did not have that capacity. The wind in my sails could not have gone the distance as they did. I passed the gauntlet within my broken heart to them. Laurie was beyond disappointment when she heard the news. She was heartbroken almost beyond repair.

  The times were a changin' in London to add to the tension. London was all a rage with fighting. Violence was everywhere in England. The music scene was difficult too. Everyone thought Bob was making money off the idea of a Live International Concert. Many thought the idea was just another way to fame, and they were going to be used. They thought the money would be mis- allocated into B
ob's pockets instead of the starving populations, suspicion was rampant. We had the same difficulty. HELLO? Why is it so difficult? Why not? These are starving people. Why doesn't your heart say, "YES?" We were little guys with heart. Bob had a mouth.

  To make it worse, he was considered a foul mouth, fading pop star in dirty clothes and unwashed hair. They shouted, "Why should we listen to him? Why should we do it? What a bizarre idea!" Most were frightened it might flop and tarnish their image, (So many egos). Were they that fragile? Nevertheless, Bob pushed and pushed and pushed. I wonder how many times he said the F*** word. George was right; it could have been a nightmare for us. We didn't swear.

  There was a moment that I exploded months later. A fiery beast arose when I read in our daily papers that Bob was considering pulling out. He was considering pulling the plug. With what I know now, I do understand, but then rage took control and I learned to swear. I called him. "Bob, you took the horn away from our concert for a larger one behind my back. I cannot deny it, it was very hard not to feel hurt and ever consider speaking to you again. It was challenging to find understanding, compassion and then to support you. But if you do not do Live Aid now, it would be absolutely tragic and a sin! YOU MUST DO IT!" As time has passed, I have come to so admire him. I have joined the flocks that call him Saint Bob - Even if he resists the term. His candor makes me smile. His tenacity I admire. During that time, He became the world's champion. No longer just a rock star disappearing from view that swore on stage. No longer was he some guy in a film depicting an addict in a rock band's movie about a wall. He was a modern day hero. His soul was doing what he was born to do. Live Aid rocked the world into action, at least for a while. What a mantle he now carries. What responsibility of power does he wield? 13 July 1985 has gone down in history as the day that music changed the world. Curiously, but not so curiously, in the end everyone tried to get a spot in the show, the phones were ringing into the night. Bob, Midge and Harvey including many others were on tenterhooks until the very end. They had the acts. What about the stage? Nevertheless, they did it! The world had 16 hours of music that brought tears of Joy to many. I watched from home, as I was pregnant with our fourth child. It would be too hot and the day would be too long for me. In addition, we were moving house. In the end, David went and played with Brian Ferry and returned home with many stories.

  The story of Live Aid will always live on in my heart with gratefulness. It was a vast learning curve of the need to help humanity and opened my desire to serve. But it left me asking how may I serve more? My answer to that question would come as the years passed. Honestly, I could not have come close to what the boys; Bob, Midge, Harvey and their team, achieved to create Live Aid. Therefore, I do hope somewhere; somehow, our efforts did help to make it so.

  I still wonder about the follow up and the current need of the people. They are still starving and so many others too around the world. There is such a hill to climb for mankind to "Feed the World." I wonder when it will change. While writing this I found an old Facebook message to me from Laurie's daughter, Erin, who I have watched growing up since our Live Aid adventure. She wrote:

  "I was at the convenience store yesterday, and this little boy was trying to buy a sandwich with about 90 cents and the lady kept telling him he didn't have enough money. His face looked so sad, hungry and about 8 years old. I of course paid for his sandwich and he was so grateful. It breaks my heart to see a hungry child, while my own nephew has thousands of dollars in a bank account to spend on violent video games and paintball battles. How can we fight this hunger problem? How can we fight against poverty? One mouth at a time I suppose ."

  ... That is the question.

  CHAPTER 55

  MATTHEW GILMOUR BORN

  1985

  Within a few months of knowing Mrs. Tweedie, a Peace Conference in Amsterdam requested her to be one of the speakers. Many of her followers planned on going. David was on tour and I asked if he minded me going off for a few days with them. The children would be fine as we had a wonderful nanny whom I trusted implicitly. Her heart was gold and had been with us for a while. She was Annie Rowland. Bless her. Our hearts were one when it came to loving the children.

  Therefore, I went off to Amsterdam with the group. We stayed in a B&B and I shared a room with Miriam Freedman. It was quite Spartan and the toilet emitted the most awful smell. Luckily, we weren't there for most of the day, and in the evening we had to open the window to be able to sleep. When we returned before going to bed, I washed my knickers and put them on the radiator to dry for the morning. Miriam and I laugh to this day, of how she had so expected the little rich girl would find this environment difficult. She was amazed how I just got on with it. In fact, it was a lot of the others who complained.

  Besides going to the talks, we went to many art museums. A lot of Mrs. Tweedie's group were artists and I learned so much from them as time went on. During that trip, something was going on inside my heart for I kept feeling such Joy and Peace. Yet, I kept feeling such sadness in front of a few paintings. When we stood before Rembrandt's painting the Night Watchman, I burst into tears. Then at the Van Gogh Museum, it happened again before the famous painting of Gauguin's Chair. I found this quite strange for I was sobbing uncontrollably! This was not like me to do such a thing. And why? So I asked Marie Lancaster who was standing next to me why I should be feeling like this. She said, "You probably are sensing the deep anguish of Van Gogh when he painted it. Being in Mrs. Tweedie's energy tends to open our hearts." We always had lunch in the cafeteria where the conference took place. I was in the queue and filling my tray with an array of delightful looking food when someone from the group came up to me. He said, "Mrs. Tweedie wants to see you." Not knowing what to do under these circumstances, I asked him, "Ummm, do I eat first, take my food with me or just go?" He replied, "Just go. She is waiting for you downstairs." So I put down my tray and followed him. She was sitting in the corner wearing black, which she did when she was on duty. I came close. She said, "Sit down dear." Nervously I did. "Ginger I need to tell you that you are carrying a King inside you. It is a boy." I blinked and started to review when my period was due. "Don't worry all will be well. He is a lovely soul." Well, if that wasn't a show-stopper. Obviously, it was time to get a pregnancy test done. And give up on thinking the coil was a good contraceptive for David and I. God had other plans. Clearly, this child was destined to be born.

  Therefore, when I returned home, I did the test and sure enough Mrs. Tweedie was right. David was home and when I told him, he went quiet. I panicked silently. I knew he was under great stress, but the degree of which I had no idea. He held a lot to himself as of late, but I could feel an undercurrent of tension. The whole Pink Floyd financial pressure was paramount in his mind, to what extent would not manifest until a while later. Several weeks later, David came home and asked if I would mind moving house. He had found one he fancied and was less expensive to run. It was Monksbridge in Sunbury-on-Thames. So we began the process. We were going in two different directions and perhaps this could put us back on track. Since my difficulty in Clare's pregnancy, it had become necessary to lead less of a Rock 'n' Roll life. David had sought refuge in the friendship of Mick Ralphs who lived nearby. So I agreed. We would move.

  The task to redecorate our next home, yet again, was given to our dear friend Warwick McCreddie. I was really pregnant so we stayed in our London house on Maida Avenue. It suited us both to be in town. David was close to management as much started to happen in the continuing Pink Floyd Saga. I would be close to Dr. Sharma in the event I needed medical attention. Plus, I could meditate every weekday with Mrs. Tweedie.

  I was focusing on my pregnancy and with kids. With each one, I developed my vision further of how special the environment was for a child when it was their moment to enter the world. This time I met Leboyer. Mrs. Tweedie had us all go to a lecture he was giving in London. His vision had progressed beyond a baby being born into water. He had spent time in India with mothers who
used vowels in their pregnancy and delivery. Leboyer then returned to Europe and the UK to encourage western mothers to do the same. His lecture that evening really inspired me.

  We contacted each other and he referred me to a midwife who had worked and studied with him, and she lived in London. Her name was Gwen. Her surname has left my memory. We met regularly and practiced the vowels "A"(Ah) and "O"(Oh). And since I had the last two births at home this would be no problem to do again. The National Health System would agree. Since my first pregnancy, Spiritual Midwifery inspired me. My ultimate dream was to give birth on the floor. So this would be the one as I had no other physical complications and Gwen was on the same page.

  I meditated each day and sang to my baby growing inside. I continued going to Cecil's classes while I still could. One day while we were working with color in the summer, Cecil came up to me and said, "Did you know your baby is wearing a crown?'' Again, a sign from above as to what the baby's nature was. Another indication surfaced when I was driving to London from our old house to the new one. I had experiences of my baby radiating a meditative energy. I was on the motorway driving 70 miles per hour when I had to do some serious talking to him. Normally my meditative energy came from the crown or the heart center. This time it was coming from my tummy and it was so powerful. I nearly had to stop.

  Meditation is not normally something one did while driving on the motorway. Fortunately, I managed to get it under control. When we eventually moved into London, and as I got larger, someone from Mrs. Tweedie's group would pick me up in their car. It meant a lot that I could get there and be in her energy. I wanted our child to grow in Peace. I was too big to drive at that stage. In fact, it was a daily feat to climb the stairs of our London home in my last few weeks. I did have to laugh as I waddled around the house and struggled up the long flight of stairs. I could have done with a chair lift. Towards the end, I had to plan my day for which room I would stay in. I read a lot.