Dublin Nights Series Box Set: On the Edge & On the Line

by Brittney Sahin

  “I knew if I came to the party that I’d come to you like a moth. You’ve always been this bright light . . .”

  My eyes dropped to his hands, which were fisted at his sides. The sight of his clenched hands should have produced fear inside me, but they didn’t. He wasn’t Jax. He’d raised them only to protect me, not to harm.

  I reached for his arm, but he retracted it.

  In Adam’s words, feck that. I reached for him again.

  My fingertips glided over the expensive black fabric of his suit jacket, and I slipped my hand to his wrist. I raised his arm up and between us, bringing his hand to my heart, pressing it hard against my chest. I could see the struggle on his face.

  His fingers unfurled into an open palm, and I shut my eyes, embracing the emotions that soared through me.

  “Don’t do this. It’s better for you to be afraid of me.” His voice broke as he spoke, but I kept my hand on his wrist, holding him firmly in place.

  “I’m not afraid of you,” I whispered.

  His free hand went to my chin, and he urged me to look up. “Look me in the eyes and say you’re not afraid,” he commanded.

  I swallowed. “I’m not afraid of you,” I repeated, my voice trembling.

  “I don’t believe you.” He dropped both hands, and my body splintered, a vise on my chest squeezed. I’d lost him. I had known it since that day in the barn, but still, I had clung to the hope that somehow we might find our way back to each other.

  “I’m sorry.” Defeat and anger splayed in the lines of his face. As he started to turn, I grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him.

  “Adam? Can we act like you and I aren’t bad for each other? Just for the next sixty seconds?” My hand dropped heavy at my side as he stood there in silence, contemplating my words.

  He faced me head on, and I stumbled backward and against the door once more. In one quick movement, he swept my arms up over my head, holding both my wrists with his one hand, locking them in place. His lips slanted over mine as his other hand slid down my throat and to my collarbone.

  He kissed me with a fierceness that far surpassed anything I’d ever felt before. His tongue dipped inside my mouth, meeting mine with possessive fervor.

  My body arched up, needing to be closer to him as his fingers moved gently across my chest. He still held me pinned in his grip. His cock thickened against my belly, and my pulse fluttered.

  When he tore his lips from mine and released me, I hardly remembered my own name. My knees sagged—almost giving out beneath me. My chest heaved up and down as I panted, trying to catch my breath.

  His gaze, warm but also full of mourning, slid over me.

  He tipped his head and turned away, leaving me alone in the hall.

  I dropped my head into my palms, trying not to cry. He’d wrecked me with that kiss. But it was one I’d never forget. It would stay with me forever.

  I attempted to gather my composure, preparing myself for whatever questions my friends might shoot my way. Of course they’d have noticed—anyone with eyes would notice when Adam was around.

  I pressed my hands to the blue and white Belle dress and took a few deep breaths. I hadn’t even stepped forward when I saw Adam’s sister, Holly, coming straight for me. Judging by her pursed lips and furrowed brow, I suspected she was pissed.

  “So you’re the one.” She folded her arms and stopped in front of me, and my back was once again to the door.

  “The one what?” I raised a brow.

  “We need to talk,” she replied.

  We’d only spoken in Adam’s office that one time. What did Holly want with me now?

  “Sure, Miss McGregor.”

  Her eyes were sharp on me, and my stomach rolled with nervousness. “You need to leave Dublin.”

  “Um.” I hadn’t expected those words. “I plan to in two weeks.”

  “No, I want you to leave now. Tomorrow. I’ll pay you, but you need to go.”

  My mind raced. What was her problem? Was I in danger? Nothing made sense.

  “I don’t understand.”

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Adam has lost his bloody mind. He hasn’t been to the office, and he’s at that bastard’s gym every moment of the day. But if you leave, maybe there’s hope. Maybe we can save him.”

  I gaped at her, trying to comprehend what she was saying.

  “Don’t act like you don’t know about the fighting,” she accused, opening her arms wide. “Everybody knows. But you have unique knowledge the others don’t since you’re screwing my brother.”

  More like screwed. Adam wanted nothing to do with me, anymore. But I wasn’t about to argue semantics with Adam’s very pissed-off sister. “If I can help Adam by leaving, then that’s what I’ll do. But I don’t understand what the point is—what harm can I do?”

  The woman actually scowled at me. What the hell?

  “He’s fighting because of you, don’t ya get it? If you leave, maybe he won’t fight.”

  My mouth rounded as I tried to respond, but my mind seemed to be slugging through Jell-O. Why would he be fighting because of me? I didn’t want him to fight, either!

  Her brows twitched together again. “You didn’t know?”

  “He’s fighting because of his friend Leslie. He said he was doing it for him.”

  Her shoulders relaxed, and her anger seemed to slow. “His damn mate started this all, but you got pulled into it. Donovan has threatened to hurt you if Adam doesn’t fight.”

  Those guys had been following me. Of course. That was why Adam had whisked me away to a hotel. I had thought it was because he didn’t want Leslie’s drama to impact me, but it was actually because I was already in danger . . .

  I was going to be sick.

  “Adam is fighting to protect you, but if you leave he won’t need to keep you safe.”

  “Why didn’t he send me home, then?”

  Holly wet her lips and took a step closer to me. “I guess he had his reasons for keeping you.”

  Because he wanted to screw me? Was that what his dear sis was trying to say? Well, clearly she had a much lower opinion of Adam than I did.

  “I don’t think my leaving is going to get him to quit.” I stood my ground, pushing away from the wall. “He stopped fighting because of what happened to Owen, and he’s never forgiven himself, but maybe—”

  “You know about Owen Daniels?” Holly gripped her forehead as if I were giving her a headache.

  “He told me.”

  She brought a hand to her mouth and turned away from me. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was softer now.

  “For what?”

  Holly faced me, her skin blanching. “If he told you about Owen, he must really care about you.” She bit her lip for a moment. “I shouldn’t have said that—about you two shagging . . .”

  “Holly, I care about Adam. I only want what’s best for him. Maybe I should talk to him again.” I didn’t know what I’d say or if I could change his mind, but I needed to at least try. “Do you think he’s still here?”

  She shook her head no. “I saw him leaving the hall and go barreling out the front doors. He’s probably heading to his home outside the city.”

  Shit. How would I get there?

  “I’ll take you to him.”

  “What?”

  “If you can talk to him, make him see—”

  “I’ll do my best,” I assured her as I ripped the brown wig from my head.

  “Okay, then. Come on, let’s go out the back so we don’t draw any attention from my family.”

  “Sounds good.” I followed after Holly, tossing my wig in a trash bin in the parking lot as we left. She unlocked her SUV, and I got inside.

  As she drove, Holly clutched the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles became white. “He worked so hard to keep from fighting. I guess I’m still trying to wrap my head around how this all happened.”

  I kept my eyes on the window, not sure what I could say. I had dragged him back into the fighting world. All
this time I had been worried about myself and Adam had been the one in danger.

  “Adam feels so guilty about what happened to that fighter, Owen. But I’m wondering if the guilt is dangerous,” I mused.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe he needs forgiveness to move on.”

  “No. The guilt is what kept him from fighting.” Holly shook her head.

  “Maybe it worked before, but in the long term, I don’t think that’s the answer. I mean, Adam paralyzed a guy. He feels he stole Owen’s life from him. Maybe if he had a chance to confront Owen, face-to-face, maybe he could find some sort of solace. He could free himself of the burden that’s weighing him down.”

  “And, what? Feel better about fighting again?”

  “No, but—”

  She waved her hand in the air. “Sorry, but any situation that doesn’t involve Adam backing away from fighting is a no in my book.”

  “So you’d rather he lived in pain?” I stared down at my lap, my hands trembling as emotions rolled through me.

  “Of course not, but I don’t want him winding up in jail again, or . . . worse.”

  I thought about Jax, how he could have died at Adam’s hands. But Adam had stopped at the sound of my voice. He wasn’t the dark monster he made himself out to be.

  I wanted to defend Adam even more to his sister, but clearly, Holly had her concerns. She had known him all her life—who was I to argue with her? We sat in a blisteringly awkward silence.

  When we pulled up in front of Adam’s home, my legs were trembling a little, my body on edge.

  “His Porsche is here. I’ll unlock the door and let you in. You want me to come with you?” Holly turned off the engine.

  “I think I’d better do this alone.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.” We got out of the SUV, and I followed her to the front door, petrified of how Adam would respond once he saw me. When she unlocked the front door, I nodded goodbye and stepped inside the dark foyer, closing the door quietly behind me.

  I should have called out for him. I should have let him know I was there, but the words were stuck in my throat.

  The house was dark and music was coming from somewhere. At the back of the house, maybe.

  Deep breaths. I followed the music down a hall and stopped outside a door, which seemed to vibrate from the sound. Memories of the night I’d seen him in the fighting ring flashed to my mind, and my hand hovered in front of the door handle. I tried to relax my shoulders, to remove the unease that had curled inside me, but the anxiety still rose, thick and syrupy.

  When I finally opened the door, I saw Adam crouched on top of a blue mat, wearing only a pair of sweatpants. His arms were extended in front of him, moving in slow motion. Then he rose and shifted on his feet in movements that looked almost like a dance. It was stealthy and graceful, but you could also see the power as his biceps flexed, as the muscles in his back came together.

  It was beautiful, actually. I wasn’t sure what kind of martial arts he was doing, but the swift movements didn’t match the loud, techno music that blasted throughout the room.

  He bent forward, a hand going to the mat, his legs rising above him as he did a handstand with one arm.

  Just . . . wow.

  But as he brought his feet down I could tell that he would come up facing me, and I was already taking a step back.

  His brows pulled together in surprise, and he studied me with tight lips.

  “Hi,” I whispered, although he probably couldn’t hear me over the music.

  He lowered his head and walked away. My heart galloped in my chest, and then I realized he was turning down the music.

  He crossed back through the room and stopped a foot shy of me. I dragged my gaze from the glistening streaks of sweat that glided down his chest and his abs, and then my eyes were drawn back up to his firm lips.

  “Your sister brought me here.”

  His face remained a blank mask, but I didn’t let it stop me. I fidgeted with my fingers in front of me as I said in a low voice, “Holly tried to get me to leave Dublin.” I forced out a laugh. “Hell, she offered to pay me.”

  “What?” I had known that would get him talking. “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah. But don’t you go running after her—she’s already left.”

  He crossed his arms, and his corded forearms drew my eye. I wanted nothing more than for him to wrap his arms around me . . . but his protecting me was what had gotten us into this mess in the first place.

  “You see,” I said, daring to step closer, “she told me that you aren’t just fighting to keep Leslie safe. She said you’re doing it for me.”

  “Did she, now?”

  I placed a hand on his chest, but he remained locked in his firm stance. “If I leave Dublin—this all goes away, doesn’t it?”

  His shoulder blades shifted forward a little as if the weight of what he was going to say was too much. “Whether you stay or not, you won’t be safe. Donovan has already said as much.” His eyes flashed to mine. “Christ, Anna. Don’t ya get it? I’d do anything to protect you.”

  The pain in his voice was deep—cutting straight to my heart. “If only I hadn’t answered Leslie’s ad for a roommate, maybe none of this would be happening,” I said weakly after a minute. “Maybe you’d be flying around in your chopper in Rome on the weekends, instead of fighting for that horrible criminal.”

  His eyes narrowed on me. “You think so?”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  “Well, I thought about that, too.” When he unfurled his arms and dropped them to his sides, I took a step back and removed my hand from his chest. “I swear to God I don’t want anything to happen to you—obviously—but I don’t think I could trade the moments we had together for anything. Feck, I’d do it all over again if I had the choice. And that makes me a selfish arsehole because I’d willingly put you at risk—”

  “Stop,” I said, stepping closer to him. “Just stop,” I cried, my eyes welling with tears.

  God, I’d missed him.

  He gently seized my arms and pulled me into him, hugging me while stroking my back. His chin rested on the top of my head as he held me, and I planted my hands firmly on his back, hanging on for dear life.

  “Please don’t blame yourself,” he whispered into my ear. He ran his hand through my hair. “Donovan would’ve found a way to get me back into the ring no matter what. He was just waiting for a chance like this. So, please—don’t blame yourself.”

  I slipped my hands up to his chest and pushed away. I swiped at my fallen tears.

  My throat constricted, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to breathe. “You don’t need to fight. I supported your decision to help your friend, but if I can stop this by leaving . . .”

  He cocked his head to the side and studied me with hooded eyes. “I’m no saint, Anna. If you go, I’ll still fight.”

  “But why?”

  When he didn’t answer, I asked, “The fight is next weekend, right? First weekend in November?”

  He nodded.

  “And what if this Donovan guy wants you to keep fighting, afterward? What if he continues to threaten you?”

  He took a step back and turned away from me, heading back toward the mat. “He won’t have to.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he doesn’t need to make threats anymore.” Anger flashed in his eyes. Although I didn’t think he was angry with me. Himself, maybe.

  He was giving up.

  I raced up behind him and grabbed hold of his arm, using the leverage to maneuver in front of him. I touched the inside of his forearm, brushing my fingers over the tattoo. “Choose family, Adam. Please.” My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I looked up at him, my eyes pleading. “Choose me.”

  His eyes were a brooding whirl of darkness. He and I were hanging on the edge of something, something dangerous, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to back away. If Adam was there, I wanted to be there, too.

  “A
nna.” He closed his eyes. The pain in his voice was thick, deep, cutting. My insides burned with the need to be his.

  “Fuck me.”

  His eyes flashed open, and my body heated at the powerful sight of him.

  “What?” His brows pinched together.

  “You said that when you’re with me you get the same kind of high you do from fighting. Maybe an even better high?” I reached around to my back and began to unzip the blue and white farm-girl dress. It fell to the floor, and I stood there in a lace bra and panties.

  His breath hitched, and he took a large step back as if he were afraid of me. “No, Anna. I can’t just fuck you. I won’t use you like that. Is that all you think you are to me?” He shook his head. “It wasn’t just about us screwing—it was about you. You made me feel . . .” His voice trailed off as he lowered his eyes to the blue mat.

  “Look at me, Adam,” I demanded. “I’m standing right in front of you. I’m not just giving my body to you—I’m giving my everything . . . I need you as much as you need me.” I was going to cry again.

  His chest expanded as he dragged his gaze up the length of my body. He found my eyes. “I can’t be with you tonight.”

  I shuddered at his words, the rejection cutting deep.

  “There’ll be no way I can walk away from you again if we—”

  “Good. I don’t want you to walk away.” I lifted my feet—still in heels—high over the pool of fabric below me. I closed the gap between our bodies. “You’re a fighter, right? So fight for us. Fight for whatever this is.” I leaned into him and pressed up, my lips brushing against his.

  He remained unresponsive—he was so damn stubborn.

  I nipped at his lip with my teeth as my fingers splayed across his chest and descended lower.

  “Dammit.” He cupped the back of my head, pulling me closer, his mouth hard against mine before his lips softened into a sensual kiss.

  He lowered us to the mat, pulling me into his arms.

  He flipped me onto my back and braced himself above me, staring down into my eyes.

  “I should never have let you leave back in Kentucky. I was an idiot.” I needed to say it, for him to believe it.

  He hung his head. “I lost control. Seeing him near you, his hands on you . . . I snapped.”