The Otherwise

by Mark E Smith

  BEV

  Shit. Sorry.

  CLARE

  It's okay. Thank God for Docs.

  BEV

  I told Jeff “Just pack the stuff you can't bear to leave behind.” Apparently that includes a spade.

  JEFF

  I'd just bought it. Was gonna do the garden. I can do your garden.

  CLARE

    (chuckles)

  We haven't got a garden.

  They begin carrying suitcases into the house.

  CUT TO:

  INT. – CLARE’S LOUNGE – NIGHT

  It's 40 minutes later. The lighting is dimmed. CLARE and BEV are drinking red wine. JEFF swigs from a can of lager.

  There is a wood burning stove, big old sofas, hippy rugs and some paintings of the local hillside. The mood is relaxed and convivial.

  BEV

  Don't get me wrong, we've had some great times but…

  JEFF

  We just need to be away from Manchester for a bit.

  CLARE

  So where you thinking of?

  JEFF

  Maybe towards Preston way? Not sure. Need to find some work first.

  CLARE

  Moving away was the best thing I ever did.

  BEV

  You've been talking about setting up a recording studio since I started seeing Jeff. Which is… nearly 5 years. So the fact you've actually made it happen… hats off to you Clare. You are one impressive lady.

  BEV clinks her glass.

  CLARE

  Awh thanks sweetheart.

  JEFF

  Yeah, well done. It is pretty bloody cool.

  CLARE

  I'll take you over to see the studio in a bit.

  JEFF

  And can you attract bands out here? It is a bit out of the way.

  CLARE

  Doesn't seem to be a problem. Plus lots of musicians still like the idea of ‘getting their head together in the countryside’.

  BEV

  It's so quiet. The city gets too noisy some times. After the break in I just couldn't relax. The slightest sound…

  HARD CUT TO:

  INT. – JEFF’S OLD FLAT – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

  The empty hallway of a modest flat in a shared block. A few coats on hooks. Gig posters on the walls. We hear the sound of a key in the front door. The door opens and a slightly drunken JEFF and BEV enter. JEFF closes the door and they kiss. Suddenly they hear a noise from the living room. BEV and JEFF exchange a concerned look. JEFF walks cautiously up to the closed living room door and opens it.

  CUT TO:

  INT. – JEFF’S OLD LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

  JEFF's POV: He pushes open the door to be confronted by the sight of two teenage SCALLIES. One has a laptop under his arm. The other has the flat screen TV. They turn to see JEFF.

  JEFF

  What the fuck?

  The FIRST SCALLY with the laptop pulls out a Stanley knife and points it at JEFF!

  1ST SCALLY

  Keep the fuck away from us and we'll leave you alone.

  JEFF

  Okay. Okay.

  A scared JEFF holds up his hands. He nods to the door indicating they should just go. At that moment, BEV appears in the doorway. Upon seeing the intruders and the knife she gives a little scream.

  1ST SCALLY

  Shut her up!

  JEFF gently pulls BEV towards him and puts his hand over her mouth. BEV stifles her anxiety. The 1ST SCALLY nods for the 2ND SCALLY to go. He duly exits the room with the TV. The 1ST SCALLY walks slowly past them, pausing to hold the knife close to BEV's face.

  1ST SCALLY (CONT’D)

  Night then.

  A second later and he's gone. We hear the front door slam shut. JEFF releases BEV. She's short of breath and pulls out her inhaler and takes a hit. JEFF's expression suggests he can scarcely believe what just happened.

  CUT BACK TO:

  INT. – CLARE’S LOUNGE – NIGHT

  CLARE, JEFF and BEV are as we left them.

  CLARE

  Must have been terrifying.

  BEV

  Couldn't sleep for a week. Thought I'd never sleep again. Til Jeff snuck a couple of sleeping pills in my lasagne.

  CLARE

    (joking)

  Such a knight in shining armour.

  They hear a loud motorbike pulling up outside.

  CLARE (CONT’D)

  That'll be Len.

  JEFF

  Sounds like a big bike.

  CLARE

  It is. Triumph Rocket 3. Len's obsessed. He's a proper biker. He's just joined this gang: The Sons of Witches.

  JEFF

    (giggles)

  That's a terrible name.

  CLARE

  Don't let Len catch you saying that. Takes it very seriously.

  BEV

    (bemused)

  So how did you meet him?

  CLARE

  He's a mechanic. Came to fix my

  car about three months back. We got drunk, somehow he never left.

  JEFF

  Fairy tale romance.

  BEV

  If it works it works.

  CLARE

  It mainly works.

  JEFF

  So has he got any baggage?

  BEV

    (chiding)

  Jeff! Straight in there.

  CLARE

  What you mean kids or ex-wives?

  JEFF

  Yeah.

  CLARE

  No. I'm his first long

  term relationship.

  BEV

  Three months isn't that long term.

  CLARE chuckles. Enter LEN (late 40's). He's tall and chunky with a shaven head and multiple earrings and a nose ring. He wears biker's leathers and is blunt and self-assured.

  CLARE

  Hi. Len, this is Bev and Jeff.

  LEN comes into the room and shakes hands with BEV and JEFF.

  BEV

  Hi.

  LEN

  Alright?

  JEFF

  Nice to meet you mate.

  LEN

  Find the place ok?

  BEV

    (laughs)

  Well, we did get lost. But that was largely due to the mapreader.

  CLARE

    (laughs)

  Jeff's sense of direction has always been shit!

  JEFF

  I admit it. Give me a map and I only get more confused.

  LEN

  I'm gonna grab a beer. Anybody want anything from the kitchen?

  They shake their heads and decline. LEN goes to the kitchen.

  JEFF

  How long did it take you to kit out the studio?

  CLARE

  It actually came together pretty quickly. Come on, I'll show you.

  CLARE stands up, taking her glass of wine with her.

  CUT TO:

  EXT. – YARD – NIGHT

  CLARE, JEFF and BEV walk across the yard to the outhouse buildings. There's a solid looking door with a light over it on the larger outhouse. CLARE unlocks the door, pushes it open and waves them in. The three of them disappear inside and the door closes.

  CUT TO:

  EXT. – FIELD – NIGHT

  MACFISK and ALUN – the two Jacobites – are walking when they come in sight of Clare's farmhouse. They come to a halt and scrutinise the house.

  MACFISK

  I reckon this place'll do.

  ALUN nods.

  CUT TO:

  INT. – STUDIO CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

  CLARE is showing JEFF and BEV around the studio. It's neat and organised, but it's noticeable that it isn't a digital set up. The mixing desk and almost all the equipment are analogue. There are also some 50's or 60's vintage mics and so on dotted about.

  Through the window above the mixing desk we can see into a live room with valve amps.

  CLARE

  We've been up and running nearly six months now. And the bookings ha
ve been really good. We've had two or three days here and there with nothing going on, but to be honest, I've been rushed off my feet.

  JEFF peers through the window into the live room.

  JEFF

  It's a big space.

  CLARE

  Used to be a cattle shed.

  BEV

  Does Len help in the studio?

  CLARE

  No. It's not his thing. Plus, I think he'd just get in the way.

  JEFF

  So what's the idea of not having any digital equipment?

  CLARE

  The idea is to get great sounding recordings. Valve amps, vintage mics, reel to reel. It's all so much more tangible. The sound you get in there is gorgeous.

  BEV

  Is it like a thing to attract like purists?

  CLARE

  There's a bit of that. But we get a real range of people coming in. Folk singers, blues bands, reggae group in last week. In fact, guess who's coming in for a week starting tomorrow.

  JEFF

  Who? The Who?

  CLARE

  The Fall.

  JEFF

    (impressed)

  Seriously?

  CLARE nods.

  JEFF (CONT’D)

  Shit. They're coming

  here tomorrow?

  CLARE

  Yep.

  BEV

  Jeff loves The Fall.

  CLARE

  I know he does. It was always blaring out of his room when we were growing up.

  BEV

  Tell me about it.

  CLARE

  Anyway, I spoke to Mark Smith on the phone and he's really into the all analogue set up. They're gonna record an EP here. And if that goes well, they might come back and do the next album. But y’know, one step at a time.

  JEFF

  Nice one.

  BEV

  I just need to nip and get my inhaler.

  JEFF

    (joking)

  She's got all over excited about The Fall.

  BEV smiles and heads out of the room.

  INT. – CLARE’S LOUNGE – NIGHT

  LEN switches on the TV and flicks to motor racing.

  CUT TO:

  He notices Bev's handbag by the side of the sofa. He picks it up and quickly sifts the contents; bunch of keys, address book, scraps of paper, a broach, pen, a couple of button badges, small pack of sanitary towels, lipsticks. He opens her purse, inside are a couple of ten pound notes and some change. He's about to close it when he spots the silver coins. He takes them out and turns them over in his hand.

  CUT TO:

  EXT. – YARD – NIGHT

  BEV walks across the yard back to the house. She looks cold and vulnerable. Suddenly she notices something out of the corner of her eye.

  MACFISK and ALUN are standing by the gateway, staring up at the house. BEV gives them an uncertain wave.

  BEV

  Hello?

  Seemingly ‘looking through’ her, MACFISK and ALUN turn away from the house and walk on out of sight.

  CUT TO:

  INT. – CLARE’S LOUNGE – NIGHT

  LEN is sitting on the sofa, swigging a can of lager and watching the motor racing on TV. BEV enters.

  BEV

  Hi. Is my bag in here?

  LEN glances about in a half-hearted fashion.

  LEN

  Not sure.

  BEV spots her handbag down by the side of the sofa.

  BEV

  Ah, here we go.

  BEV picks up the bag and sits on the sofa. She pulls out her inhaler and takes a hit with a swift gasp. LEN glances over and smiles.

  LEN

  I like that sound.

  BEV

  Yeah?

  LEN

  Yeah.

  Beat.

  LEN (CONT’D)

  Sounded like you were having an orgasm.

  BEV is momentarily thrown by how casually predatory this is, but she quickly asserts herself.

  BEV

  Well I definitely wasn't.

  LEN

  How are things with you and the Jeffster then?

  Having only just met LEN, BEV is unsure how open to be.

  BEV

  We erm. Things are great thanks. Really… solid.

  LEN

  That's nice.

  BEV

  How about you and Clare?

  LEN

  Clare?

  LEN gets distracted by TV for a moment, before returning to the conversation.

  LEN (CONT’D)

  Clare's ace.

  BEV

    (smiles)

  Yeah, she is.

  LEN

  Yeah.

  Beat.

  BEV

  She said you came to fix the car.

  LEN

  Yep. Came for the Volvo stayed for the vulva.

  BEV

    (awkward laugh)

  Right.

  Beat.

  LEN

  You should see her naked. Fuckin’ gorgeous. Shockingly decent tits.

  Again BEV isn't sure how to react.

  BEV

  Nice for you both.

  LEN

  Bet you look hot in a bikini Bev.

  BEV

    (sarcastic)

  Not as hot as you would I'm sure.

  BEV stands and makes for the door.

  LEN

  Don't forget your orgasmatron.

  LEN points at the sofa. BEV turns to see her inhaler on the sofa.

  BEV

  Thanks.

  BEV pockets the inhaler. LEN returns his attention to the TV.

  LEN

  Be nice having you around.

  BEV exits. LEN smiles to himself and returns to watching the TV.

  CUT TO:

  INT. – STUDIO CONTROL ROOM/STUDIO HALLWAY – NIGHT

  As they talk, CLARE and JEFF exit the control room and walk down the hallway toward the front door.

  CLARE

  Bev looks tired.

  JEFF

  We both are. We need to recharge a bit. Thanks for this. You seem to have it pretty chilled here so…

  CLARE

    (joking)

  Len has his unchilled moments. But he's out a lot anyway. Stay for longer than two weeks if you want. Seriously.

  JEFF

  We'll see. I'll paint that back room for you anyway.

  CLARE

  That'll be great.

  CLARE opens the front door, then gasps at what she sees.

  HARD CUT to an OCTOGENARIAN WOMAN's FACE staring at them. Her face is hard, wrinkled and sour. Cut to reveal she's dressed in a large, thick black overcoat and hat. She also carries a black acoustic guitar case.

  CLARE (CONT’D)

  Mary! Sorry I… I completely forgot you were booked in tonight.

  CLARE stands aside and MARY enters carrying her guitar case. MARY smiles at JEFF.

  MARY

  Mary Tunstall.

  CLARE

  This is Jeff. My brother.

  MARY nods at JEFF.

  JEFF

  You a musician Mary?

  MARY

  Aye. Singer. I like to record the old, old songs. Stops ‘em getting forgotten.

  CLARE

  Go through Mary. I'll get everything sorted out for you.