Until the wooden door opened and Sean was striding through it with her chart. He gently closed the door and took his seat on a stool in front of Emma.
“A little early for your appointment, aren’t you? Couldn’t wait to see me again?”
His playful tone threw her for a loop, but Emma smiled nervously and licked her lips.
“How did you guess it was my terrible craving to see you rather the puking that made me seek you out so early this morning?”
“Well, a man has hunches.”
“Uh-huh.” Emma playfully rolled her eyes, thankful for the easy distraction he was providing for her as he ran the numbers on her chart.
“Are you having any other symptoms other than nausea and vomiting?”
She shook her head, crossing her arms. Was that a good or bad answer?
“We’ll want to take a pregnancy test today to confirm. Are you good with that, Emma?” He met her eyes, level and steady, his gaze full of unexpected warmth and reassurance.
It was the thing she needed but didn’t know she needed until it was on the table.
“Yes, that’s fine.”
“Okay, great. Time for us to see what’s going on.” Sean smiled, big and bold, and for the first time, she noticed that he was nervous too.
He was fidgeting with his right foot, shaking it up and down. He got up, fumbled for the doorknob, and was able to open it his second time.
“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be nervous here?” Emma teased. “You’re acting like you’re the father.”
Sean caught his breath, shifted from foot to foot, and blushed a surprising shade of scarlet that made her laugh.
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know what you meant, Emma. Technically, I would be the baby daddy though, if we want to go that way.” He grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “I’m just the one who did the procedure, not here to be a parent.”
Emma nodded, the joke suddenly hollow between them as Sean looked away from her, instead focusing on preparing to take a blood sample.
Two swift, mostly painless minutes later, Sean took the sample through to his adjoining lab and Emma sat back in her chair in the exam room, staring at the various motivational art tacked all over the walls. She didn’t have too much time to fret, as only a few minutes later there was a knock, and Sean poked his head through the doorway.
“We all good in here?” he asked.
“More than good, I’m ready to know what’s going on, Sean.” Emma shoved her hands in between her thighs and tucked her ankles behind the chair legs.
“I know.”
“You’re not giving much away.”
Sean cleared his throat and looked at the ground. That wasn’t the gesture of someone who was filled with excitement because his trial had gone through as planned.
Emma’s heart sank and tears stung her eyes as she blinked furiously, refusing to cry in front of him.
“It didn’t take this time, Emma.”
“Then why…”
“You were probably sick due to the combination of hormones and stress that your body has been under lately. It’s a pretty normal reaction.”
He went silent, clearly just as upset, and though Emma’s thoughts were spinning in a million different directions, she could still tell he was upset for her as he moved forward to grip her hand. This was the first round. It almost never took in the first round and she should be experienced enough to know that by now—but she had been so sure, so positive that this was the time that she was going to have her shot.
Emma sniffled and took his offered comfort, trying to shove her myriad of emotions back into Pandora’s box until she could get home. To be alone and to mourn.
“I’m truly very sorry, Emma,” Sean said softly. “But we can try again in two months—that is if you want to try again. I understand if you don’t and it’s totally okay.”
The news that she would have to wait that long was near crippling, and Emma at last allowed herself to break into a million pieces, leaning forward as fat tears rolled down her cheeks.
Sean immediately scooted closer, enveloping her in his arms so her head was curved into the comforting hollow of his neck. His movement shocked her, but she let him hold her, embracing the eerily familiar warmth and pine scent of him. Despite the years and distance between them, in this moment everything was pure and right.
As she let herself go, sobbing through her disappointment, anger, and the raging lack of control that had dominated her life for so long, she was grateful for the strong back that held her through the worst of it. She clung to him, only noticing once she had come out of the very depths of her grief that he was lightly stroking her hair.
“Oh God, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me there…I didn’t mean to get snot all over your shirt and coat.” Emma pulled away and he touched her shoulder, looking her dead in the eye as she reached up to wipe away some rogue tears.
“It’s nothing. Really. It’s good to feel useful, in whatever form it takes. I think I needed that as much as you did.”
Emma nodded knowingly, still trying to clean herself up.
“Here.” Sean grabbed a box of tissues and handed it to her. “You know, even after all these years and after a crying jag, you’re still gorgeous.”
The words seemed to pop out of his mouth unheeded, so softly and almost in awe. Judging by his facial expression after he said them, Emma guessed that hadn’t been in the plan.
“Shit. I’m sorry, that’s so unprofessional of me. I—”
“Now it’s your turn not to worry about it.” Emma smiled, a small, barely there curve of her lips. “Thank you. That’s sweet of you.”
He took a deliberate movement backward to separate his rolling stool from her chair and crossed his arms, scratching his jaw before he spoke again.
“I know this probably isn’t going to go over well and it’s definitely not the most professional thing I’ve ever done, but would let me take you out to dinner tonight to take your mind off it? I’m told I’m good at cheering people up.”
Emma crumpled up the tissues in her hand and blinked as she attempted to uncover the true meaning behind his words; was he simply being friendly, or was there more to it than that?
Either way, the last thing she wanted to do right now was go back to an empty apartment. A Sean-shaped distraction sounded like a good thing, whatever that meant.
“Sure, Sean. I would like that.”
“Okay, perfect.”
Although his surprise at her acceptance was evident, he rolled with the punches.
“I’ll call your office and schedule something?”
“Text me.” Emma cradled her stomach and bit her lip. “Thank you.”
“For what?” He looked bewildered for a second, his brow furrowed. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did. More than you know.”
Chapter 16
Sean
Sean fiddled with his wine glass, his gaze on the bottle at the center of the table as he wondered again if ordering it had been the wrong call.
He hadn’t wanted to assume that Emma would be in the mood for drinking, but at the same time, he wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted a glass of wine or several before she went back to cutting everything out ahead of the next round of IVF.
That was, if she even decided to do another round. After this morning he doubted very much that he would see her again. She had been wrecked. As a last-ditch effort, both to soothe her and to push away the little voice in his head that had been begging him to ask her out since he saw her in his waiting room all those weeks ago, he had asked her to dinner.
Now he was sitting at a nice steakhouse in his best suit feeling like the biggest idiot in the world for crossing the line with a patient. Even if it was Emma, this was bound to bring trouble on his head. So what if she decided not to be a patient after tonight? It didn’t excuse his lack of polite conduct throughout their time together.
But, Christ, ther
e was something about her that took all his logic and turned the volume on mute. It wasn’t just her gorgeous looks, her laugh, or her personality; she was still that challenging, sweet twenty-something that had been dangerous for his need to stay away from relationships, even after all these years.
Some part of her spoke to him. More like screamed, if he was being honest.
So when she started walking across the crowded dining room to his table in a purple wrap dress and a pair of heels that made her look like a Greek goddess, he about lost his damn mind. Emma was…perfect. Exquisite. He had never been, nor should have been allowed the pleasure of, being in the company of someone so talented and strong.
He jerked up and walked around the table, pulling out her chair for her.
“Thanks.”
Her eyes still weren’t as sparkling as normal, but she looked a thousand times better than she had that morning.
“I hope you don’t mind, I ordered some wine for the table before you got here.”
“That sounds nice. I’ve never been here, have you?” Emma put her napkin in her lap and glanced down at the menu. “Everything looks phenomenal.”
“It’s my favorite restaurant actually. I know the owner—we’ve been good friends since summer camp.”
“Really? Small world.” Emma’s brows raised, clearly impressed. “Wine is fine too, perfect for the day I had today.”
He murmured a soft reply that wasn’t really words and they both studied the menu until the wine came and the waiter took their orders. Once he had gathered up the menus, Sean realized how easy this all seemed, as if he had done this with her before. He relaxed into his chair and took a sip of the rich, chocolate-tinged wine.
“Do you like it?” He held out his glass and swirled it around with a haughty laugh. “I’m a pretty good nose for the good stuff.”
“Mostly I’m used to the stuff in the box unless I go out for a work dinner with clients, but yeah, it’s nice.” Emma laughed lightly and swirled her glass, sniffing playfully. “You really know about wine?”
“Part of the package-deal education that came with being in my family. I had to learn a lot of seemingly upper-crust things so that I could one day take the seat at the helm of the business.” He took a long sip and put the glass down, reaching for a bread roll. “Thank God that didn’t happen. You know why?”
“No, why? I’ve absolutely been curious. You seemed pretty resigned to it when we first met.”
“Mmm, yes.”
Sean took a deep breath. Here goes nothing, he thought.
“It’s a bit of confession, actually, because what changed my mind and gave me the courage to follow my passion was meeting you, Emma. You changed everything for me, that night on the yacht. You made me see that life wasn’t so cut and dry. That I could still live on my own terms and I didn’t have to kowtow to whoever held the purse strings.”
“Wow, I didn’t think I had that much impact. That’s…a lot.”
He nodded, not quite meeting her eyes. “You inspired me to do what I had always thought about in the back of my head. My parents had trouble having me—I’m not an only child, but I was a six-year struggle and after my mom gave birth to me, they adopted the rest of my siblings. But seeing the toll it took on my mom? Even after my brothers and sisters, you could tell she was still in pain, a little lost that I was the only biological child that she would ever have.”
Emma was listening, nodding her head, and so he continued moving forward.
“My father and mother would talk about it sometimes, when they thought we couldn’t hear them, and their words always stayed with me. So when I told them I wanted to go into medicine and not the family business, they were upset, but my mother eventually got my father to come around on the idea. She knew why I was doing what I was doing and she saw the value of it. But you were the push I needed to work out what my own dreams were and to follow them.”
“Can I, uh, make a confession of my own?” Emma laughed, her nose crinkling, which he noticed she tended to do when she was nervous.
“Sure,” he said with a grin. “I just unloaded my life’s purpose on you, let’s see what you can do to even the score.”
“It’s selfish of you to think you’re the only person’s life that changed after that night, don’t you think?”
“Oh?” Sean moved backward as the waiter put their plates of steaming food in front of him. “Go on, I’m all ears.”
They each thanked the waiter and Emma waited until he had headed off into the back before she continued.
“Before that weekend, my whole life was a blur. All I knew was I needed to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly, but I had no purpose or direction outside of that. I signed up as a legal secretary because the hours were decent and I would have more billable skills on my resume at the end of it than a run-of-the-mill secretary…but I didn’t know there was a future in anything I was doing. In a way, I was lost as you were.”
The thoughtful revelation took him back a pace. To this day, he never would have guessed that Emma was suffering in much the same way as he had been all those years ago. She had seemed fully capable and completely in control of her life. It was her urging and wisdom that had set him on his path, and yet, at the time, she hadn’t the faintest clue what she was doing either.
“I was just as uncertain as you were that night,” she went on. “But while I was speaking to you, I realized I was also speaking to myself. Because I was settling. I was only working toward the day-to-day and not coming close to living my dreams.”
Emma took a sip of wine with a small smile. “So, after I got back from Cancun, I did a lot of soul-searching for myself. Any waking moment I wasn’t at work, I was figuring out my path. Turns out, it was right in front of me all along and I didn’t need to learn computer skills, take yoga instruction, or go to a pastry-making class to find my calling, but all of those things expanded my worldview. I’m still grateful for the experiences and the ability to dabble, to live more fully a life that had previously been completely on autopilot because I was too scared of messing everything up.”
“So you picked law?” Sean cut into his steak and let the succulent meat sit on his tongue, unable to draw his eyes away from the beautiful woman sitting in front of him.
“I picked law. Family law, specifically—I mostly deal with divorce cases, custody battles, divorces, wills, etc.” She laughed self-consciously. “I feel like I’m schooling a future client by reading out my qualifications.”
“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m interested.”
“Uh-huh,” Emma rolled her eyes. “I doubt that, but thanks for humoring me.”
“Really, I am,” he insisted. “Tell me. Why are you passionate about it? What drew you to it?”
She put down her fork and took a second, pausing with her hands in her lap. He liked the fact she was so thoughtful about everything. Always taking a second to consider her words before responding, unless she was super excited about something in particular, in which case she could barely hold back.
“This is cheesy, I know everyone says it.” She seemed to be bracing herself and took a deep drink of wine, a slight flush in her cheeks as she went on. “I wanted to do something that would have a lasting impact on people’s lives. I wanted to make their family transitions easier, especially after I saw my friend Allison’s family fall apart while we were in middle school together. The thought that a situation like that could have been mitigated by the proper guidance and different advice from a good lawyer instead of a shark, it stuck with me. I didn’t want kids to suffer because of the stupidity, pride, and ego of their parents during times of trouble and stress.”
“It appears we both have noble intentions,” Sean observed.
Emma nodded, smiling just a little. “To noble intentions,” she said.
She raised her wine glass for a toast and he did the same, catching her twinkling eyes as they both took a sip.
“It’s not always simple or easy,�
�� Emma continued, “but I still love what I do all these years later. Though I’ve learned that no matter how painless you want to make the process for your clients, they’ll be bound to screw it up regardless of your intentions.”
“All roads—”
“—are paved with good intentions.” She finished for him, laughing softly. “Yes, I’ve learned that the hard way.”
“All this time, on such different paths, and yet here we are together.” He wondered at the absurdity of it all. “Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever see you again, let alone after I had moved to your city. Be straight with me, did you ever try to look me up when you got home?”
“How could I? Type in ‘hot real estate heir with yacht’ into the search bar? I’m sure that would have gone over really well. We didn’t even exchange last names.”
“True enough,” Sean sat back in his chair. “I didn’t want to make any commitments I couldn’t keep. Not when the future was so unclear to me.”
“Yeah, you made that crystal clear the next morning,” Emma said, her voice verging on sharp. “Although the breakfast made things a little blurry for me.”
Sean winced and rubbed his temples, unsure how to justify his selfishness.
“I’m not a big fan of kicking women out of my bedroom without at least giving them breakfast—anything less feels barbaric and ungentlemanly. I apologize if it was confusing for you back then, I really was just trying not to be an asshole.”
Emma nodded and put down her fork.
“You could have explained that instead of leaving me to jump to conclusions.”
“You’re right,” he conceded. “But I was an idiot and not used to explaining myself to anyone, let alone a woman who had opened up my whole worldview overnight…one who I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to let go…and who threatened the tight walls I’d built around myself for so long.”
His revelation was already out before he could stop the cascade of words pouring from his lips. Damn it. She didn’t need to know of that, but it was out there now.
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