Aurora Resonant: The Complete Collection (Amaranthe Collections Book 3)

by G. S. Jennsen

  “What? No! Malcolm, that’s not—”

  “Stop. I don’t want justifications or excuses. All I want is to leave with the smallest shred of dignity intact.”

  “Meno, lock the door.”

  He spun to her, eyes wide in enough shock to break through the mask, and it occurred to her she’d never seen him genuinely angry before. Well.

  “For two minutes. After two minutes, Meno, unlock it.”

  ‘I will do so.’

  “If you still want to leave when the two minutes are up, you can go on your way and I won’t try to stop you. But please, listen to me first.”

  He squared his shoulders, clasped his hands behind him in a parade rest stance and locked a stony glare upon a spot on the wall somewhere over her left shoulder. The move had cost her, but hopefully not as much as letting him walk out would.

  She began pacing frenetically, though her movement couldn’t keep up with her racing mind. Clearly she’d acted out of panic; she damn well better make good use of the time she had. Her thoughtless mistake was blindingly obvious now, but fixing it was another matter.

  “First off, I think you misunderstand the history and nature of my relationship with Caleb. We were never ‘together.’ There were a few years where we were more than friends, but it was just…the point is, I ended that part of our relationship years ago, and I haven’t regretted it.”

  Her chin dropped to her chest. “No. You deserve an explanation, not a brush-off. Caleb is honorable and good-hearted, but…chaos is always either running from him or chasing after him. He gets near you, and suddenly you’re in the center of the vortex, too.

  “I worked too hard to escape that world to let myself get dragged back into it, even by my dearest friend. Which he is, and probably always will be. I’m not ashamed of it. But I don’t want that kind of life—if you know me at all, surely you see the truth of this—and I don’t want him. I want…”

  …‘you’ would come off as both lame and pandering, and the least likely of all possible options to convince him of her veracity. If he would only look at her! She veered. “I’ve been on my own since I was eleven years old. I’m not asking for pity—I’m glad for what happened. It worked out, eventually. It’s important now for this reason: friends and lovers have come and gone, but I’ve kept them all at arm’s length. Given them a façade layered over the real me.

  “It’s a defense mechanism, and I recognize it is, but it’s also often been the right choice. And now I have a flood of voices and people and Artificials floating in and out of my head…and I’ve never felt so alone. Except when I’m with you.”

  His focus darted to her. He quickly jerked it back to the spot on the wall, but the mask was visibly cracking.

  Progress she dared not let slip away. “You are the kindest, most considerate, most generous man I have ever met. I think you may be the first person who, when I’m with you, I can simply…be. No façades, no veneers, no performances. You disarmed me, the first time I met you and every time since, with your unabashed forthrightness and damnable sincerity.

  “I realize you’re strong and tough and dangerous to the rest of the world, but to me, you feel like home.” She smiled, trying to convey the truth of it. Brutal, terrifying, naked truth.

  ‘Door unlocked.’

  Malcolm’s caramel eyes now fell fully on her, softening from fear through caution to something akin to hope. The parade rest stance vanished as a hand came up to work at his jaw. He didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t move toward the door.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t said any of this to you before now. I’m good at many things, but this doesn’t appear to be one of them. I didn’t want to frighten you away.”

  She inhaled deeply and took a step toward him. “So, to recap…and summarize…you’re the only person I want here with me. Please don’t go.”

  “I’m only good at a few things, and any fool could see this also isn’t one of them.” He considered the ceiling for a long breath before closing the remaining distance to her. “Forgive me. I was being stupid and petty.”

  “You were protecting yourself, which I understand intimately.” She tentatively drew him close, shocked at the power and comfort of the sensations that accompanied his arms wrapping around her. Solace, perhaps contentment. “But I’m not protecting myself from you.”

  “God, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot who should have had a little faith in you. This wasn’t even really about Marano—I hope he is what you say. I truly do. It was more…people I care for always seem to want something from me I can’t give them. I’ve come to expect it, and now I’m jumping at shadows.”

  She didn’t know nearly enough details of his past to pretend to comprehend the full scope of what he meant. But she didn’t need to, because she knew him. Though he was far more than he believed himself to be—far more than a cog in a machine for certain—she’d told the truth about his forthrightness. Outside of the battlefield, he was utterly without guile or pretense. Sadly, it didn’t surprise her that others had taken advantage.

  Her fingertips traced his temple, down his cheek. “I’ll try to be sure I don’t make those sorts of demands.”

  “I know you won’t, because you are entirely too wonderful to be real.”

  She placed the first kiss on his lips, along with a teasing whisper. “Yes, I have bad news: the last two months have been a dream.”

  “I suspected as much.” He renewed the kiss with enough fervor to foreclose any further conversation. She surrendered to his embrace—

  —The alert pealed through her consciousness to drown the suffusing joy in a tidal wave of dread, leaving in its wake a solemn acceptance. Perhaps it really had all been a dream.

  She didn’t flinch. She just held him close, cherishing the tender intensity of his embrace and memorizing the feel of his mouth pressed to hers. The final seconds were ticking down, and it might be a while before she felt it again.

  Abruptly he pulled back from her, and the darkening of his expression told her the call from AEGIS had gone out. Leave it to Miriam Solovy to be scrupulously attentive and instantly prepped to move.

  He dropped his forehead to hers, and his hands rose to cup her face. “I am so, so sorry, but it’s time. I have to go.”

  59

  ROMANE

  IDCC COLONY

  * * *

  ‘KENNEDY, DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT? I wish to discuss a matter with you.’

  “It isn’t anything to do with Machim warships, is it, Vii? I’ve been eating, sleeping and dreaming Machim warships for days now. I close my eyes and I see negatives of Machim warship schematics on the back of my lids.”

  She’d hardly gotten the optimizer switch-out handled and the assembly line running smoothly when the data dump from Valkyrie had come in. This resulted both in her returning to the Presidio from Earth and staying longer than she’d intended as her sleep-to-wakefulness ratio dove to perilous levels.

  She yawned to emphasize the point.

  ‘It is not, though I suspect we’ll need to discuss them before too long. No, this is a more personal matter. When Valkyrie and Alex departed for Amaranthe, they left something in my care. A side project, one might call it. I haven’t allowed it to distract from our work for AEGIS, but when time and cycles have permitted I have been working on it.

  ‘My progress has reached a stage where I’m no longer comfortable keeping the project’s existence from you. I was not hiding it as such, so perhaps it would be better to say I wish to affirmatively share it with you now.’

  If Valkyrie and Alex were involved, it was guaranteed to be audacious, likely to be dangerous and possibly to be exciting. She groaned dramatically. “This ought to be good. Fill me in.”

  ‘Thank you. When—’

  The door opened and Noah walked in carrying a package. Her heart did a spirited somersault in her chest. She’d sent him a message to let him know she was home, but she hadn’t talked to him in two days and had been afraid to think about where he was.


  She gave him a broad smile, trying to appear as welcoming as possible. “Hi.”

  “Hey.” He’d hesitated in the doorway at first, as if he needed to be invited in, but now he continued on inside until he reached the front of her desk.

  ‘Kennedy—’

  “Can we talk about your project later, Vii? Thanks.”

  Vii responded, but she’d tuned the Artificial out. She was so relieved to see him—so busy perusing his eyes and stubbled jawline and the messy fall of his hair—that for a minute she forgot he was carrying a fairly hefty package.

  She straightened up and cleared her throat. “What’s in the box?”

  He glanced down at the floor then back at her. Dammit, but she couldn’t get a vibe from him. “I made you something.”

  “Really? Noah, I don’t—”

  “Please. Before you say anything, let me give you this.”

  She’d thought she was ready for this meeting; she’d been wrong. God, she hated feeling nervous. Frightened, even. Exposed. But she stood and nodded bravely. “All right.”

  He exhaled in evident relief. “Thanks. So—” he frowned “—I guess I should’ve put a streamer on the box, or a wrapper, but I was too—”

  She placed her hands under his and the package. “Noah.”

  “Sorry. So, open it.”

  She took it from him, surprised at how light it was. Still, she propped it on the corner of the desk while she removed the top. She started to lean over the open box when an object flew up and out to hover in the air in front of her.

  It was a scale model of the AEGIS cruiser she’d designed. Mostly virtual, an adiamene lattice outlined the strong lines of the hull and lent it tangibility. She peered inside the frame, but no matter how closely she scrutinized it the fidelity continued—

  —except there was an oddity in the captain’s cabin. She tilted her head and focused on…

  …reclining on the bed was a holographic reproduction of Noah. Naked. Scrawled on his chest was a tattoo that said…she started giggling. It said ‘Property of Kennedy Rossi.’

  The reproduction grinned and waved at her.

  “Noah, what—”

  “It’s not limited to the cruiser. Drop a crystal disk in this one slot in the back, beneath the engines, and it’ll load the schematic that’s on the crystal. So long as there’s a captain’s bedroom, you’ll find me just so on the bed. If there’s not a bed, I’ll be on the couch. If there’s not a couch…I’m not sure. I’ll probably be lounging on a floor somewhere. Now, if you decide to use it for business presentations you can toggle me off, but otherwise, Junior’s pretty happy in there.”

  He grasped her hands in his, dragging her attention from the holo ship and the miniature waving naked version of himself.

  “Kennedy, I’m yours. You’ve made my life infinitely better in ways I never deserved, and I’m yours whatever it means. I don’t give a shit about official institutions, but if they matter to you, okay. I never had a mother—I was raised by nannies and instructors and bots—so I don’t have any kind of reference, good or bad, for what a marriage is supposed to look like. Then again, I don’t have a reference for what any kind of stable, long-term relationship is supposed to look like. I’ve been making it up as I go this whole time.

  “Anyway, I figure I’ll keep doing that. If you want to get married, okay. I’m in. If you instead want to bail on civic responsibility and run off to Requi before the Anadens get here, okay. If you want to move back to Houston to be closer to your family…” he gazed at the ceiling “…okay. What matters is you. Me with you. Because….” He gestured at the tiny, still-naked him occupying the holo ship. And his tattoo.

  She brought a hand to her mouth to cover a gasp, which if she wasn’t careful was going to be followed by a sob. She breathed in; she needed to hold herself together for another minute.

  “Before I say…things about that, I got you something, too. It’s not nearly so shiny or sexy or spectacular, but….” She reached into her pocket and retrieved the disk, then handed it to him.

  He stared down at it.

  “You don’t need to read it right now or—it’s an irrevocable bequeath of all rights and ownership of Connova to you on my death or incapacitation. The company, its patents, designs, contracts, everything. None of it will go to my family. It all goes to you. This is the legacy I care about, and you’re the only person I trust with it. So now it’s yours, no matter what happens.”

  His throat worked. “Kennedy, I—first off, you’re not going to die, so stop being morbid.” He spun away from her. “You seriously trust me with this? Above everyone else?” His voice sounded shaky.

  “You’re the only person I trust with it. And this isn’t the sole copy. The document’s on file and recorded and everything. It’s legally airtight.” She walked around to face him.

  She’d seen this look etched on his features once before—in Seattle, at the end of the Metigen war, in a hotel room. Stark, raw honesty.

  “I don’t deserve it.”

  “You do.”

  “Well, you’re a lot smarter than me, so I guess I’ll have to defer to your judgment.” He smiled, and one or the other of them rushed into the other’s arms. His lips devoured hers, and he was so very good at devouring.

  When he came up for air, he was wearing a funny expression. He started to say something, then scrunched his nose up instead.

  She did the same. “What?”

  “I’m, um…so do you want to get married, or not? I know I said it doesn’t matter, and I meant it. But I sort of feel as if we should go one way or the other, you know? So we can get on with this ‘rest of our lives’ stuff.”

  She dropped her hands from him to turn away, genuinely flummoxed by the question. Did she? Fantasy dreams competed with wild but real dreams in her mind, and finally she chuckled to herself as she turned back around.

  “Can we…not, and take a honeymoon like we did?”

  His eyes widened briefly in advance of his playful smirk. “Oh, yes, we can. Is that what you truthfully want? Because god help me, but what I want is for you to be happy. Also vacations, certainly. I am a fan of vacations and happiness.”

  She cackled and pulled him to her. “It is. I don’t want to be my parents any more than you want to be your dad. Let’s keep blazing our own path—which includes a beach, lots of fruity drinks and nudity. Life-sized nudity, though Junior can come, too.”

  “Oh, you are so the woman for me.”

  “Damn straight I am.”

  Vii interrupted them. ‘I do apologize—this reunion is beautiful, truly—but unfortunately I believe your not-a-honeymoon will need to be postponed.’

  Even before she reached true awareness, Morgan knew she wasn’t alone in her mind.

  She awakened to a sense of otherness enveloping her. Of watchfulness. But it felt kind, bordering on gentle. And intensely familiar.

  Stanley? How are you here? I thought you were…gone.

  I have always been here, Morgan. You simply weren’t ready to see me.

  That doesn’t make any sense.

  Of course it does. The mind is a complicated yet highly nuanced organism.

  Huh. And by your way of thinking, now I am ready to see you?

  Now you needed to see me.

  Well, that’s rather selfish of me, isn’t it?

  I don’t mind. You are who you are, and I accept a few selfish tendencies as part of the whole person. However, I would prefer it if you didn’t try to ‘kill’ me this time. I will hide again if I must, but I found it dreary.

  Ah, there’s the dry humor. Yep, this is definitely you. But…how do I not kill you again? I mean, I didn’t intend to the first time. It just sort of happened, so I’m not sure what to do differently.

  I think we will be fine. I will endeavor to be more assertive when I feel pressured into submission, but I suspect it will not often be necessary. Brooklyn has softened you—softened your heart, which is as important to your conscious
ness as your mind. Symbolically speaking.

  I want to argue with you in righteous indignation, but you’re right. Evil woman.

  And there is your humor. I fancy her quite a lot, by the way, so don’t run her off.

  So do I. If I can keep you around, maybe I can manage to keep her, too.

  She blinked—in her mind, which was when she became aware of the fact her eyes were not open. She’d forgotten about the outside world. There was a…not an accident. I was attacked. I’m guessing I was hurt.

  You were. But you’re better, and you will be better still soon. Now, time is running short. So let’s rejoin the living, shall we?

  She forced her real eyes open in the real world. Thank god the room was only dimly lit, as the light there was promptly stabbed into her brain like icicles wielded by a gleeful madman.

  After a few seconds she remembered how to squint; she gazed around to see Harper sitting beside the bed, her hands folded in her lap and her chin lowered. Deep in thought, or deep in brooding.

  Morgan worked moisture into her mouth. “Hey.”

  Harper jumped halfway out of the chair, but quickly recovered to lean forward and clasp her hand. Blue eyes always so guarded and wary shone openly as she smiled. “You…you’re awake? I mean, you’re awake!”

  “Yep….” Morgan grimaced and tried to adjust her position in the bed. “Ow. Well, this already sucks.”

  “Do you want me to get a medic?”

  “God, no.” She glanced down and was surprised to see both of her legs encased in medwraps, one substantially more bulky than the other. On the one hand, this should mean she hadn’t been gone for months or years—on the other hand, what was wrong with her legs? “Um, am I all right? Because I look like a reanimated mummy.”

  Harper chuckled. “You will be all right. You mostly are now. Your head was the hardest part to set straight.”

  “I understand you went to some extreme measures to make certain it got fixed.”

  Harper stared at her askance. “How could you possibly know that? You’ve been awake for ten seconds.”

  “It appears I once again have a smartass Artificial in my head whispering all the secrets to me.”