Everywhere and Nowhere

by Rebecca Royce

Groaning, she covered her eyes with her hands as if she could make the already pitch-black room even darker. She heard the door creak open and she darted up in bed and clutched the pillow to her chest.

  “Who’s there?” Her voice shook.

  “It’s Hadrian, darling. Don’t be afraid.”

  How had he known she was terrified and why was he in her room? “What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to check on you, make sure you’re okay. I just had this feeling you were in discomfort.”

  If she’d been back at home she would have called him a liar, but who knew how they did things in Haven? Maybe they could sense the pain of everyone in the house. “I’m sorry if my headache disturbed your sleep.”

  Hadrian approached the bed and sat down next to her. He placed his hand on her head and she tried not to sigh with the pleasure his cool hand gave to her hot skin.

  “You’re burning up.”

  “I don’t feel hot. My head is just pounding and whoever is in the next room is snoring so loudly I could throw something.”

  He actually snickered. “Poor Stone. Did he just lose your heart?”

  Hadley sighed. If Hadrian was going to give her a hard time, he could get out. “For the thousandth time today, Stone never had my heart.”

  “I’m teasing you, but I know your head hurts, sorry.” He picked her up in his arms and she groaned. “It’s quieter in my room and I can take care of you there.”

  “I didn’t ask you to take care of me.” Why was she being obstinate? Oh that was right—because she was just a means to an end for him and she’d be damned if she’d also become a burden. “Put me down and I’ll take care of myself. I’ve been doing it since I was fourteen years old.”

  That was the year she and Hailey had woken up on the morning of their birthday to find their nanny dismissed and their bags packed, and after they’d blown out the candles on their birthday cake they had been deposited on a train to an all-girls school in Connecticut.

  Hadrian crossed the room with her in his arms as if she weighed nothing. She might have fought him if she’d had even the slightest amount of energy left, but rather than getting better she seemed to be getting worse. Finally giving up, she relaxed in his arms, remembering how good it had felt to be in his embrace when they’d traveled through the portal.

  It was cooler in the hallway and a dim light burned at the end by the staircase. The shadows on the wall were long and thick, looking as if they might come alive. She laughed, which became a groan. “I think I must be losing my mind, Hadrian. I’m having delusional thoughts. Is that one of the first signs that the poison is working? Headache and fever followed by delusions?”

  “Annabelle started with fever and vomiting. Bethany had a seizure. Clarice fainted and never woke up. I didn’t stick around to watch Deirdre die. But it seems as if everyone was unique in how they lost their lives.”

  Hadley shook her head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to remember.”

  “I told you that you were going to die, which gives you the right to ask me about

  it.”

  She pushed her head up against his chest and listened to the strong beat of his heart. Her sister had been a lucky woman. Even though she’d died way too young, the little time she’d gotten to spend on Earth, she’d been with Hadrian. He hadn’t just considered her to be a waste of time but rather something to be treasured.

  “What were your delusional thoughts?”

  She sighed. “It looks as if the shadows on the wall are alive.”

  Hadrian opened the door to what she assumed was his room and walked inside. It was cooler in his room than it had been in hers but not as chilly as the hall had been. He laid her down on the bed and pulled off her pants.

  She opened her eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “You have been wearing the same dirty pajamas for over a day now. They stink. But in addition to that, I’m trying to get you cooled off.”

  His argument had some logic and she was too uncomfortable to care that he was about to see her naked. Except, in some deep crevice of her mind, she acknowledged that she would officially have no secrets from him when this was over. She would probably be a pale comparison to Annabelle, and he’d once again congratulate himself on not being involved with a Pettigrew. A completely unattractive Pettigrew.

  Her thoughts started to drift and she hoped that within moments she’d be asleep so she could be unaware of whatever new humiliations she was about to endure. Even though it made no sense, with her eyes closed she could see the shadows more clearly.

  They were alive and they were everywhere. But now she could see they weren’t just shadows—they held shapes. Men and women swirled around the room, approaching her—soon they’d be so close they might eat her up. She couldn’t let that happen. Her eyes flew open.

  “Hadrian,” she shouted as her head turned from side to side.

  A damp rag pressed against her forehead. “I’m bringing down your fever, Hadley. What you smell is herbs and holistic medicine my mother keeps around the house.”

  “They’re coming for me, Hadrian. They want me with them.”

  “You’re not making any sense, Hadley. It’s the fever.”

  She shook her head. “No, the shadows are coming, Hadrian. Please believe me.”

  “We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

  She thought she felt him lean over and kiss her gently on the cheek. “You’re cooling off, darling. Try to go back to sleep.”

  “Why do you call me that?”

  “What?”

  “Darling.”

  He stroked her hair out of her eyes. “Sleep.”

  Her eyes felt heavy, and against her will they closed again. She braced herself for the shadows, but instead she was once again in the Mote museum, staring at the tank that held the giant squid. She walked to the cool glass and pressed her hands against it.

  We told you we knew he wouldn’t hurt you.

  “I guess it depends on your definition of hurt. I’m afraid I had developed a little crush on Hawk-boy and he quickly rid me of that. But I believe I’ll be fine.”

  So you think you’re over your feelings for Hadrian? That’s why you’re curled up in a bed with him letting him take care of you while you’re sick?

  Hadley wasn’t going to even answer that question. For her own sanity, it was better she continued to pretend she didn’t care for Hadrian. She cleared her throat. “They call you the Great Ones. You’ve stopped speaking to them in Astor.”

  The squid twirled around in its cage. We have been prevented from communicating, but now you have come and we like talking to you.

  Hadley pressed her head up against the glass. “I like talking to you too, so will you speak to me when I get to Astor or will I come across like a crazy person?”

  We will always answer you, Hadley Pettigrew, daughter of Zamara, Princess of Haven and Heart of the Sea. Watch out for the shadows. They are everywhere.

  Hadley’s eyes felt heavy as she struggled to open them. Hadrian lay next to her on the bed, one arm draped over her body with his hand pressed up against her cheek. Well, at least he didn’t snore. When she’d been a child and sick, she’d desperately wished for someone to hold her like this. An incredible sadness filled Hadley and she didn’t try to stop the tears that welled up in her eyes. Not only did this illness signify the beginning of her death, but the person who held her as if she was cherished didn’t actually have those feelings for her.

  She was going to go her entire life without anyone feeling that way about her. Without ever having her feelings returned.

  Hadrian’s thumb brushed over her eye as another tear fell. His eyes flew open.

  “Hadley, are you still feeling sick?” He sat up, his voice rough like sandpaper.

  “No, thank you, I’m much cooler.”

  She rolled over, suddenly embarrassed by letting her emotions show. Looking down at herself, she realized she was covered only by a sheet and
completely naked otherwise.

  A flood of embarrassment filled her as she remembered how little she’d protested his taking off her clothes. The sainted Annabelle would probably have put up more of a fight. The sainted Annabelle would not have jumped him.

  She knew that was an unfair thought and she didn’t care.

  “Scared me last night. You got so hot and incredibly pale.” He pushed his hand against her forehead and pulled her back against his chest. “I was worried you weren’t coming back.”

  He absently stroked her hair as he spooned behind her. She closed her eyes again. Maybe she shouldn’t care that it wasn’t real or that he was thinking of Annabelle. She might be dead any day. Any affection was better than none, wasn’t it?

  She sniffed. “It wouldn’t be your fault. You didn’t inject me with the poison. At least I wouldn’t have died all by myself, which probably would have been the case back at home. I guess that still might be the case when we get to Astor.” She swallowed but her throat still felt dry. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she felt ashamed. “Hadrian, I’m sorry about your father.”

  “Thank you, Hadley.” She swore she could hear the sadness of the universe in his tone. “I won’t let you die alone.”

  At least he hadn’t made promises he couldn’t keep. No heroic declarations that he would see to it that she didn’t die at all. That would be, of course, impossible. She sighed. “Thank you.”

  A high-pitched feminine scream filled the air and Hadrian detached himself from her and leaped out of bed. “Mother?”

  He ran out into the hall wearing only his boxer shorts and giving her a view of his back, which, like his arms, was covered in tattoos. Without her glasses, she couldn’t make out what the markings were. Hopefully Hadrian had thought to take them when he’d come into her room last night.

  Hadley reached over to the side of the bed and was relieved to find her glasses. She pushed the frames up onto her face and the room seemed so much brighter and more in focus. Doors opened and slammed closed in the hall as the Warriors responded to the scream. Hadrian’s mother seemed like such a nice woman—she wanted to see if she could help.

  As she stood her knees almost buckled, but she caught herself on the edge of the bed.

  So last night’s episode had clearly knocked some of her strength out of her. Stumbling around, she found her way to Hadrian’s closet, where she grabbed what she hoped was an unimportant T-shirt he wouldn’t mind her temporarily stealing. It covered her completely, almost past her knees, and even though she still felt shaky, she walked slowly out of the door of Hadrian’s room.

  “I just don’t see how this could have happened overnight.” Hadrian was shouting but he didn’t sound alarmed or angry, rather as if he were trying to be heard over the hubbub happening around him.

  She followed the sound of his voice until she was in the kitchen. Hadrian and his men surrounded a woman Hadley had never seen before. The woman was simply stunning.

  Long black hair that looked like fine spun silk fell down her back. Her skin was pale, smooth and unblemished. Her blue eyes gleamed with life and laughter. Who was she and why was Hadrian gripping her shoulders?

  Hadley cleared her throat. She really needed a glass of water.

  The woman spun around. “Hadley!” The joy exploded from that one word and Hadley found herself in the other woman’s embrace.

  “I’m sorry,” Hadley sputtered, “but do we know each other?”

  “Oh.” A tear slipped from the dark woman’s eye. “You don’t recognize me. I’m Leopard, Hadrian’s mother.”

  Hadley gasped and pulled back to look at her. Dear heavens, now she could see the resemblance. Hadrian looked a great deal like his mother. Same dark hair, and the high cheekbones that were evident on his face could now be seen on hers. But how was this possible?

  The woman had lost at least forty years overnight.

  “What’s happened?”

  “We don’t know, but I woke up like this and it’s not just me. This entire place, everything looks so new. The roads are fixed, the trees are blooming and I can’t remember when last we had such a sunny day.”

  Hadley wasn’t sure what to say. All her training in manners failed her. What should a person say in such a circumstance? “That’s wonderful. I’m so thrilled for you, however it happened.” Dizziness hit her like a sledgehammer and threatened to take her down to the floor.

  “Hadley.” Hadrian grabbed her from his mother’s arms. “You shouldn’t be up yet.” He picked her up as if she were a baby and she cringed. This had to stop happening. It wasn’t okay to go through life being carried around as if you couldn’t walk. “We almost lost her last night. She had a terrible headache, high fever and some sort of delusions.”

  Leopard gasped. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

  “I knew what to do. I’m putting her back to bed.”

  Hadley shook her head. “I don’t want to go back to bed.”

  “Wait a minute, Hadrian.” Stone’s voice filled the room. “I think Hadley is a Healer. The lack of her mother’s presence nearly destroyed our whole world, so wouldn’t it make sense that, given the same abilities, Hadley is now setting things right? Maybe she is the reason things are looking new again. I bet if we retraced our steps from yesterday all of it will look better since she’s been there.”

  Oh hell, more damn savior stuff. As soon as the room stopped spinning, she would put a stop to this once and for all.

  “She’s only half her mother’s daughter. The other half is human. Last night she almost died. I can’t let her do this for the whole world. It would kill her in minutes.” And she knew how he felt about humans.

  Leopard placed her hand on Hadley’s arm. “She feels cool—that is good. She just looks pale and worn out. Put her to bed, Hadrian.” Hadley tried not to watch the revolving patterns on the floor and the wall as they walked to his room. Instead she listened to the last thing Leopard said and grimaced at the thought.

  “If Hadley didn’t know she did that last night, then I don’t see how we can possibly prevent it from happening again.”

  So now she was doubly in trouble. If the poison didn’t kill her, this newfound ability obviously would.

  Chapter Ten

  She was dreaming and she knew it. But this time she didn’t have the giant squid to talk to. In this fantasy her mind had created, she stood bathed in moonlight looking out the window of a room she’d never been in her before. Looking around, she could see it was luxurious, like some of the finest hotels she’d visited. A giant bed, bigger than king-sized, sat in the center of the room. She walked over to it and smoothed down the white comforter. It was silk. She smiled. Well, if she had to be stuck in a dream, this didn’t seem a bad place to land.

  The door opened with a bang and Hadrian stood in front of her, leaning against the frame. His hair, loose around his shoulders, blew gently. She raised an eyebrow. Where was the breeze coming from? Well, it didn’t really matter. This was her dream.

  She walked toward him. “What is this place?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Don’t care.”

  “You’re just a figment of my imagination. Not really you.”

  Hadrian stroked the side of her face. “Does it matter?”

  She thought about it for a second. “No.”

  Hadley pressed herself against him and he kissed her, hard. That was okay. She didn’t want gentleness from him in that moment. She craved heat. Reaching between them, she found his cock and stroked it through his black pants.

  He hissed in his breath but didn’t stop her ministrations. “You know turnabout is fair play.”

  “I hope so.” Was that her voice, sounding so husky? She had to remind herself that she was dreaming. In real life she’d never be so sexy.

  Hawk ripped her gown from her body. She took a step back so he could see her naked form completely. Did he like how she appeared?

  Hadrian groaned and shoved her backward onto the bed. She ga
sped. Was he this intense in real life as a lover or did she simply imagine him this way?

  “I want to taste you, Hadley, so I’m going to do just that.”

  Her pussy wept. Yes, finally she would get completion. She needed him like she needed to breathe. It was…

  The room faded around her. No! It couldn’t end like this. She wasn’t done. Hell, she wasn’t even started. Groaning, she wondered if the entire universe hated her—even the beings that made her dreams.

  Hadley moaned and Hadrian smoothed the hair from her forehead. What was she dreaming about? Her hair spilled out on the pillow like a beautiful red sunset. He would never let her cut her hair. It might be ridiculous, but the night before when he’d held her close to him and done everything he could to bring down her temperature, praying to any deity that would listen not to let her die, he’d taken possession of her. At least in his mind. He realized it might take a while to convince Hadley of his ownership, considering how he’d treated her the day before.

  Damn his temper. It got him into more trouble… His mother had once told him he didn’t have any filter between what he thought and what he said when he got really angry. For some reason Hadley flustered him, and when he felt befuddled he behaved badly. It was childish. He suspected Hadley was just the sort of woman to help work on that particular issue, especially because she hadn’t backed down or lost herself in hysterics.

  But for now they had bigger problems. If Hadley was going to heal the problems of everyone and everything she came into contact with, she would be kept right where she was until he could figure out how she could do it safely. He’d brought her here to be fixed—well, it had been one of the reasons—and he’d be damned if he’d let something else threaten her life.

  She opened her eyes, their blue depths staring up at him. Her cheeks immediately reddened. Was she okay?

  “Why am I dizzy?” She closed her eyes and groaned as if she couldn’t stand to have them open.

  “I have no idea. I’ve never seen anything like this happen before but I think I might know someone who can help you.”