by Dawn Edwards
‘Can you send the phone today?’ I asked when I had calmed down enough to speak again.
‘If I were in London and had one just lying around, yes, for you, I would. But as it stands, I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere, with no access to procure a satellite phone, or a regular one I can enhance security on, so securing one and sending him one is going to have to wait till I’m home. I’ll put a request in now then tinker with it when I’m back. I will get it to him as soon as I can, I promise you that.’
Like he always did, Breton kept his promise to me, and a week later Drew had his phone. In the few days that Breton had been home before being sent out on a new mission, he had enhanced the phone and couriered it to Drew.
It was late Sunday evening, and I was lying in bed reading when my phone buzzed in my pocket next to me. It was a long weekend, on account of Easter, but at least I’d been able to talk to my parents during this holiday and video conference with them.
BRETON: He has the phone, I told him that I had a surprise for him.
BRETON: I have you programmed in the chat as CUPCAKE
JESSA: How did you know?
BRETON: He told me one night when he was drunk at my mom’s place, he was hungry and we went to eat the leftovers…
JESSA: Do you know if he’s alone at the moment?
BRETON: He’s not, but don’t let that stop you.
JESSA: You’re the best.
BRETON: I know. Good luck. Love ya, bye
I did the mental time difference in my head; it was going on early evening back home. With any luck, he was able to check his messages.
Here goes nothing.
CUPCAKE: shhhh
CUPCAKE: Happy Easter Drew
His reply came in almost instantly.
DREW: Is this a sick joke?
CHAPTER 11
DREW
Present Day
I may not have known where Jessa was, but what I did know was that she was safe, she was happy, and was always at the other end of the phone. No matter what time I messaged her, she was always there to answer me. Sometimes it took her a few minutes, but never more than half an hour or so.
Ever since she’d first messaged me a few months ago, and I found out she was still alive, we had been constantly texting every day and occasionally we would talk over the audio application, but I’d yet to video conference with her. I knew it was her; her voice I’d know to my passing day. It was like we had picked up where we left off. She had this uncanny way to lift me after a long day with her humor or even mundane details about what she was doing, reading or watching. It was the simple routine things that grounded me to her, that spoke volumes more than anything else ever could.
The days we actually talked were the best, there was nothing greater than hearing her voice and better yet, her laugh—something I was noticing she was doing a lot more now than she ever had before. Regardless of how hard it had been on me, and how much I wanted her to be home, I couldn’t knock her for doing it. Not only to protect herself and her family, but I was really starting to realize the best thing to come from this distance was Jessa discovering who she was.
I feared sometimes that when she returned, I would not be enough for her, or in her time away she had been exploring the company of others. I was scared to death to ask her, however, the uncertainty of it was also killing me. Soon, I would have to bite the bullet and cave, for the sake of my sanity.
I had no room to talk, I thought she was dead and tried to move on, but even when I tried, I knew I was failing miserably at it. Lisa deserved far better than I ever gave her. There was only one person I could give my all, and I’d been doing that with my fidelity, my heart, and as soon as we were back together, everything I had—if she will still have me.
The summer was passing so quickly. Between the renovation of the departure terminal and jobs on the Cape I had hired a crew of four to work full-time with me to get all the jobs I committed to completed. I was lucky to be able to use Cahill Global’s staff to help with bookkeeping, invoices, finances, and payroll. It was also a great excuse to drive into Boston and stop by the office to see Zoe.
In addition to running a business and putting in 12-plus hours of labor every day, I was busy with renovations at the house. Slowly, it was starting to really come together.
What a difference a few months and a new lease on life could do for not only a man but a project. Prior to Easter, the house was just a contractual agreement, work I was doing for Steve, a job that was causing me a great deal of mental anguish. I dreaded coming home each night, dreaded having to put any amount of effort into this place, I was going through the emotion with it, just like I had been with my own life.
After finding out about Jessa, I knew right then and there that I needed to make this place into a home, a home I could share with Jessa. A home that she would love to come back to.
From that point forward, it was no longer just a commitment I needed to fulfill, it was a labor of love, a passion where I didn't want anything overlooked. Jessa deserved the very best in everything, and our home was no exception. We spent a lot of our time going over plans. It surprised me that she was particular and had a vision for the house; I indulged every single one of them. Even the ones she fought with Colleen over.
My girl was growing, and I for one was so happy for it. I just hoped that she still had room for me in this new life she was creating.
I always felt guilty when I’d leave the Cape and my crew to handle all the grueling work. I had loved being so busy this summer, and as things looked, it would extend far into the fall too. Last week over beers and wings I asked the guys I had hired if they were open to working into the fall, and they were all onboard, for which I was grateful. I’d be heading over to England next month for Ali’s wedding.
The wedding was fast approaching, and I needed to get the departures terminal completely finished before I could go. I’d be spending a week in the city, both for work and would take as much time as I had left to be social with my friends.
Now that I knew Jessa was alive, I felt so horrible that I was keeping it from Zoe and even Amber. I hoped when they finally found out, they wouldn't hate me and understood why it had to be kept a secret, just like I understood why the Cahills found out before I did.
I brought a box of donuts, stopping by the reception and giving Trish first dibs. ‘Thanks, Drew,’ she smiled, taking a powdered one and using a tissue. ‘I didn’t see that you have a meeting with Steve.’
‘I’m just dropping in to see the girls,’ I winked at her.
‘You know where to find them,’ she smiled at me, sitting back down.
Yeah, I knew all too well. ‘Looking out the window, gawking at my men across the way?’ I laughed.
‘You know it.’
I walked into the office to find Amber and Zoe chatting over a document at the table in the middle of the office while two interns were working away at their own desks. There were two new guys in the office, and it still shocked me to see someone other than Jessa sitting at her desk.
‘Hiya,’ I knocked and walked in, causing everyone to look up. ‘I come with sweets.’
Zoe’s eyes lit up, and I wasn’t sure if it was due to the sugary carbs, from seeing me, or maybe both.
Over the past year, we’d grown close in a confidant, sibling kind of way. I made a point to spend time with her, call her, text with her and support her in whatever she needed. Turned out, we actually got on really well and enjoyed each other's company. I even liked her boyfriend John, and he often hung out with us when his schedule permitted.
Amber reached in and picked out a glazed donut, eyeing it in admiration. ‘Drew, you can’t keep doing this,’ Amber moaned. ‘Leah just told me she’s moving away once her husband is done with basic training.’
I remembered Leah from last summer; she was a quiet girl who Jessa had really liked, even the yoga she instructed. I also knew from chatting with Amber that Leah had started a side business while finishing up
school this past year doing personal training and yoga.
Zoe turned back around to face Amber with a shocked look. ‘She can’t do that, what will happen to Happy Hour Yoga?’
‘Happy Hour Yoga?’ one of the new guys questioned, looking up from his computer. ‘What’s that?’
‘The name is as advertised,’ I laughed, handing him the box of donuts.
‘Basically, it’s yoga, wine and socializing,’ Amber beamed. ‘It’s the best thing ever and my favorite part of the week.’
‘You need to get out more, chick,’ I teased her.
‘She’s going to come to the auction next week,’ Zoe smiled. ‘I’m trying to set her up, but she’s being SOOO picky, tell her to put herself out there and stop being such a snob.’
One of the guys behind me sounded like he was choking on his donut. I turned to make sure he was ok, took the box and placed it back in front of the girls.
‘What has John done to you?’ Amber joked. When I had first met Zoe, she had no interest in being in a relationship. She had quite the reputation and played the field better than a linebacker. After randomly hooking up with John, something sparked and they had been together for over a year now, and have lived together most of that time.
‘More of a matter of what hasn’t he done…’ a smile crept across her face. ‘That man has a magical...’
‘I’m just going to stop you right there,’ Amber put her hand up as I heard a gasp from behind me and looked to see one of the young guys with eyes wide and his mouth hung open in shock. After working alongside Zoe all summer, I would have thought the interns would be used to Zoe’s mouth by now.
‘You take your time, nothing wrong with being single,’ I encouraged Amber, trying to change the subject from Zoe’s sex life during office hours. While also hoping that Zoe would get my hint. She hadn’t tried to set me up, per se, but she often mentioned girls in a way that suggested they might be a good fit for me, that we’d have things in common, or just describing physical attributes. It was these times that I felt the guilt of keeping Jessa’s secret more than ever.
‘See, there’s nothing wrong with taking your sister as my date,’ Amber stated.
I raised my eyebrow. ‘I finally get to meet your sister?’ I asked. Zoe spoke a lot about her sister, so much that I practically felt as if I knew her. It wasn’t in a way that I thought she would be trying to hook me up with her, but with Zoe, I could never be sure
‘Yeah, she’s donating her time for the auction. It’s a great way to promote her social marketing brand and someone will get a lot from her.’ Zoe always got dreamy when she spoke about her sister. ‘Win-win.’
When Zoe had asked me to enter into the silent auction, I first thought she wanted to auction me off. But when she clarified that she wanted either a consultation, design, landscaping or both, I was happy to oblige, so long as the work wasn’t too exhaustive. I was told that I could use it as a tax write-off, and Steve was more than fine with that. The work would have to wait until October, as I was booked solid until then, and that was with a crew of four men working with me now.
‘Has Breton confirmed if he was able to get the time off?’ Amber asked.
I shrugged, ‘He hasn’t said yet. His job has him going all over, last minute, I don’t think he will know until a few days out.’
The charity ball and auction were being held out on the Cape in a few weeks. Amber was part of the organizing committee, and she was responsible for a lot, as Cahill Global was a large supporter of the first annual ball. While not technically in their job description, both Zoe and Amber had been wrangled in to help with the black tie event.
‘Oh, I’m going to need the name of that guy you suggested for the tux,’ I asked Amber.
She shook her head, turning in her computer to pull up a screen with the information and texting me the number. ‘I told you weeks ago, you might be cutting it too close.’
As it turned out, I ended up paying a lot more than I had expected to on the tux. It wasn’t like I couldn’t afford it, I still just preferred to live on the cheap. I didn’t think that would ever go away. When you grow up with nothing and worked hard for everything, just scraping by your whole life, it’s a hard mindset to stray from.
The charity ball turned out to be a fun time, partly because Breton was able to make it last minute, there was an open bar, and I was networking with Steve, who was still acting as my pimp.
Amber and Zoe were busy most of the night, which left Breton and me at the table with Zoe’s sister Lana, who was as beautiful as she was shy.
When I finally got her to talk, it was about the business she had just started, even though she was still in university. She was apparently a genius at social marketing and was also a freelance writer and blogger with a sizable following. Seeing how painfully shy she was and how uncomfortable she was in a large crowd, I could appreciate why she chose the blogging route.
The night was perfect, aside from the fact that I was missing Jessa terribly. This was her scene, she loved things like this. She knew I was going, and over the past few days, she told me about a lot of the charity black tie events she had been to over the years. I sensed she was feeling down that she wasn’t able to accompany me to my first, but I told her, we had many more in our future. We started to use terms like our future, our home, our friends a lot more recently, and I fucking loved it. It seemed that as time went on, there was room for me.
On her insistence, I had taken a bunch of pictures of her two best friends. I didn't want to send them to her, I didn't want her to be sad about what she was missing out on tonight. She was already missing out on everything daily, there was no need to rub salt in the wound.
I took a pic of Breton and myself, both wearing our tuxes and sent it to her.
DREW: Who wore it best?
JESSA: My two favorite boys!!!!
DREW: Cupcake, we both know, I’m all man
JESSA: How quickly you forget, I have very limited knowledge of the extent of your manhood.
It was true, I always made it all about her when we hooked up. She hadn’t been taken care of by Matt, and I was determined to make her see that a healthy sexual relationship didn’t have to be one-sided. Little did I know that we had limited time. It had been one-sided, but at least it was in her favor, and I enjoyed every moment of pleasing her.
DREW: If you would tell me your fucking location, I’ll charter a plane within the hour. I happen to have connections.
JESSA: In time, baby
JESSA: And of course, you wear it better, but it would look better on…
She sent me a picture of the end of her bed, her toes in the bottom of her corner and the floor taking up most of the picture.
DREW: That can be arranged in a few hours.
JESSA: Stop, it’s been too long
DREW: Long it is
JESSA: Drew...
DREW: Jessa...no need to make this harder than it needs to be
JESSA: bye
DREW: I know all about being thick headed
JESSA: stop being rude and go back to my best friends
DREW: They are busy, I’m with Lana
JESSA: Lana is there?????
DREW: yes
JESSA: So, what do you think of her?
DREW: She’s super shy but clearly very talented
JESSA: and beautiful
DREW: Yeah, she is, but she’s not you! So, stop wherever your mind is going
JESSA: I love you.
DREW: I love you more, chat in a bit.
I checked in with Jessa on and off all evening via text, as I typically always did. Breton knew who I was chatting with; there was only one person I had a silly grin permanently plastered on my face for, and he knew me well enough. Because of this, I needed to be careful around Zoe, she was too perceptive.
‘What’s she up to?’ Breton asked me, nodding to my phone.
I looked up to him and shrugged, ‘She’s reading and trying some new recipe.’
‘God, she’s intense with this cooking shit,’ he rolled his eyes. ‘When I saw her a few weeks ago, she was all about trying to make healthy banana bread, like, what the fuck! It has a fruit in it, what more do you want from a bread.’
I laughed but was surprised he mentioned so casually he’d seen her, and recently. ‘Where is she?’ I leaned in asking in a low voice.
‘Apparently, if it has any sugar, carbs, taste, or air, it's not healthy enough,’ he moaned. ‘And of course, she insisted I test each one and report back. Do you know how nasty some of that shit was?’ he shook his head. ‘Made me want to get back to the camp in the middle of the desert where we were on rations at one point.’
I looked up to him. He was drunk, he had to be, he was talking so freely, but sat up when Lana came back. He was a bit more cautious, yet he still talked about Jessa. ‘And reading has become like an obsession for her. She’s into this series on Facebook or some blog, she stalks the site all day until the next chapter is released and don’t get me started with her addiction to the forum chat about the chapters.’
Lana giggled, ‘She could set up an alert.’
‘That’s all she needs, more encouragement.’ Breton rolled his eyes and caught himself, knowing that he was openly talking about Jessa. However, it wasn't like anyone knew who we were talking about. Likely, if they were listening in, they would have figured Breton had finally gotten himself a girlfriend.
‘Let me guess, you’re reading it too?’ I asked Lana.
She blushed and couldn’t look us in the eye. I laughed at her, I’d read some of the chapters out of curiosity, to see what all the fuss was about. It was blush-worthy, for sure.
‘I think everyone is reading it, even Colleen and my mother are reading the bloody thing.’
I laughed at him, ‘I see you have truly been around a bunch of bloody Brits too long.’