Desired
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Just then, she heard a creaking door, and saw him coming down from a spiral staircase. She hadn’t even known that staircase existed. She realized he had been coming from the roof, and wondered why he would go up there.
And then she realized. There was no reason why he would, unless he wanted to get as far away from her as he could.
To be alone. Her presence was bothering him, she realized. He wanted to distance himself from her, perhaps even prepare himself to tel her something she did not want to here. That he had changed his mind about their living together. Like asking her to leave.
Caitlin felt her heart sink, as Caleb approached and as she caught a glimpse of his troubled face.
She felt that he was getting ready to break up with her. He was going to tel her that he had invited her here too quickly, that he hadn’t real y thought it through. That it had al happened too fast. That he wasn’t cut out for domestic life.
That he wanted her to leave.
As he walked closer, she could see the redness in his eyes, and her heart pounded. Had he been crying? Then there was no doubt about it. He was bracing himself to tel her something that she did not want to hear.
Caitlin felt herself trembling with upset.
“Caitlin,” he said softly, looking down at the floor.
He could not even look her in the eye. That could only mean one thing.
Caitlin had never felt more upset. Where would she go now?
“Caitlin—” he began again.
But she held out a hand, and stopped him. Whatever words he was about to speak, she didn’t want to hear them. She didn’t want to have his words of rejection echoing in her mind forever.
“I know what you’re going to say,” she said, her voice shaking.
His eyes opened wide in surprise. “You do?” he asked.
Caitlin nodded. “And I don’t want to hear it.”
Caleb looked disappointed. She couldn’t understand why.
She was saving him the trouble of having to break up with her.
“I’m sorry this al happened so fast,” Caitlin said. “Maybe if it happened slower, things would’ve worked out better.”
Caleb looked puzzled.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m leaving now.”
And with those words, she turned and marched out on him.
“Caitlin!” he cal ed out behind her.
But she didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to hear him tel her that he loved her, but that he loved Sera more. She couldn’t bear to hear those words.
Caitlin found herself crying as she hurried through the main hal and then out the door of his house that she had grown to love so quickly.
She looked down and saw Ruth at her feet, whining, and she picked her up, and held her tight, kissing her, as tears ran down her cheeks.
Caleb fol owed her out the front door.
“Caitlin, wait, please!”
But she couldn’t. She took a few running steps and leapt into the air, Ruth in her arms, and within moments, she was flying, flying, far away from this place.
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER TEN
Kyle strutted right down the middle of a wide, cobblestone boulevard, late at night, cutting through the center of Paris.
He felt relatively satisfied, having just come from the red light district, and having fed on several more prostitutes. He could stil feel their blood swirling through his veins, and slowly, he was beginning to feel himself again.
He hated time travel. Hated it. And he hated Caitlin for making him do this. He thought of al the fun he was missing back in New York, of the raging war— his war—and fumed at her. He fantasized of al the ways he would exact revenge upon her. Gradual y, his spirits began to lift.
Kyle turned down al eyway after al eyway, keeping an eye open for any more victims, but finding the streets empty. It was nearly daybreak, and it seemed most people had gone to sleep. He had already drank his fil . If he kil ed any more victims at this point, it would just be for pure recreation.
Kyle thought back, through thousands of years, when he and his friends would go hunting humans for recreation.
Those were the days. He remembered times when they would fil the streets with corpses, not even bothering to feed. They had such fun watching them die. It had been one of his favorite games.
Nowadays, vampires were so conservative. They only kil ed to feed. And they only fed as much as they had to. When Kyle kil ed Caitlin and figured out a way to return to the future, things would change. He would make kil ing humans a national sport once again.
Kyle turned down the street, and final y found what he was looking for: a massive, round building, with huge stone columns and marble steps. It had a grand dome, and looked ancient. In fact, it didn’t look that different from the Pantheon in Rome. Which was fitting, because this was a Pantheon, too. The Pantheon of Paris.
Kyle remembered the building wel . It was an important place for his coven, a place they had always been. It was very different from the Pantheon in Rome: the vampires here were much more chaotic, more disorderly, more democratic. In New York, or Rome, if someone stepped out of line, the leaders would step forward and have them kil ed on the spot. Here, the covens were run by committee. On the one hand, Kyle respected that, because he hated authority. On the other, he also enjoyed watching people get punished who were out of line, and watching them get kil ed before his eyes.
Kyle thought of his old friend Napoleon, and guessed that he’d already have taken control of this coven. They were probably al inside it, arguing about something right now.
They were a contentious bunch.
Kyle bounded up the marble steps three at a time, eager to see him, to let them know who was boss. Napoleon had power, but not nearly as much as Kyle. After al , Kyle had survived for thousands of years, while Napoleon was stil a child.
Kyle kicked open the massive doors and strutted inside.
As he suspected, the huge marble building was completely packed with his own kind. It was chaotic. The enormous, marble room was shaped in a circle, with huge columns framing it in every direction. It had a marble floor, and an arched ceiling, culminating in an oculus. It was as grand as the Pantheon in Rome.
Except this one was fil ed with vampires screaming and yel ing over each other, pushing and shoving. As he suspected, they were in the midst of a heated debate.
And at the center of the crowd, standing on a podium, was Napoleon, yel ing to be heard.
Kyle pushed and shoved his way through the crowd, elbowing people as he strutted right to the center.
As he did, the huge crowd slowly began to gain awareness of him. He was so tal , he towered over everyone else, a foot above the crowd, and his scarred face gave people pause. Slowly, the room began to turn his way.
Kyle had no intention of waiting his turn. He had urgent business. He had an agenda to fulfil , and Napoleon and his people could be of service to him.
Kyle took two huge steps and leapt up onto the platform. As he did, he reached up, grabbed Napoleon by his shoulders and hoisted him high in the air, until he was at eye level with Kyle.
The entire crowd gasped, and grew quiet in shock.
Kyle stared down at Napoleon with his disfigured face, with his one good eye, and he saw Napoleon stare back, recognition and fear in his eyes.
“Kyle,” he whispered, startled.
Kyle broke into a crooked smile. He was happy to see his old friend again. He couldn’t help admiring his audacity.
“You little bastard,” Kyle answered.
And then, in one swift move, he threw him, flying, into the crowd.
A gasp raced through the room, as several guards scurried to catch his fal . They caught him, and looked up at Kyle in shock, wondering who on earth could have the audacity to do such a thing to their leader.
Kyle smiled.
“I have returned,” he said.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Caleb st
ood at the entrance of his castle, watching Caitlin fly away, completely baffled. He could not understand why she had left so abruptly, or what he had done wrong. He thought the night before had gone so wel , and she had seemed so happy to be there. Why her sudden change of mind? He racked his brain, trying to think what it might be.
Maybe she blames me, Caleb thought, for having to come back in time for me. For losing our child of the 21st century. If it weren’t for me, she wouldn’t have had to come back, she would be safe and sound in the 21st century, with everyone she knew, with everything that was familiar, with that child.
Or maybe, he thought, she was stil blaming him for turning her. She had asked him, she had begged him, to turn her, and he had urged her not to. But he had relented. Did she resent him for that? For a life stuck in immortality?
Or maybe she just doesn’t love me anymore, Caleb thought, at least not like she used to. Maybe she loved the idea of me, but the reality of being here, with me, settling down for a life together—maybe it scared her away.
Whatever the reason, Caleb had to know. He couldn’t just let it go until he at least had an answer.
He set out from the house determined to find her, to discover the reason, and to do whatever he could to make wrongs right. In some ways, it was like heading off into a battle. In fact, he wished he was heading into battle instead.
This, he realized, was harder. Love, caring for someone, he was realizing, could sometimes be the hardest battle of al .
*
Caitlin walked on the sand, barefoot, alongside the crashing waves, Ruth beside her. The day grew overcast, and the strong wind pushed back her hair. She had never felt so sad. Just at the moment when she thought she’d final y found peace, had final y found true love, she had discovered that he didn’t truly love her the way she thought he had. She’d been so stupid. Living in a fantasy al this time.
But now what? Without Caleb in her life, she felt like she had no purpose. She had no idea where to turn, or where to go next. She could go back to searching for her father, but what was the point? Whether she found him, or found the Shield, Caleb would stil not be there.
She could go off in search of Sam. But again, without Caleb there, none of it real y meant much to her.
Caitlin looked out at the waves, and wondered how life could be so cruel. She felt completely, utterly hopeless.
She suddenly heard a noise, and turned.
She was shocked to see Caleb walking towards her.
He walked barefoot in the sand, and in his hand he held a rope, by which he led two beautiful, white horses.
He had a smal , hopeful smile on his face.
Her heart pounded in her chest, as she wondered what had happened. Had he changed his mind?
Within moments he stood just a few feet away from her.
Ruth ran over to them, looked up at, and yelped. In return, the horses lifted their heads and slowly lowered them.
Caitlin couldn’t help smiling.
“I’m not sure what happened back there, or whatever I said to offend you,” he said, “but whatever it is, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not what you said,” Caitlin said. “It’s what you didn’t say.”
Caleb looked back, puzzled.
“I guess…” Caitlin added, “…I just realized that your heart was somewhere else.”
He looked even more puzzled. “What do you mean?”
Caitlin studied him, wondering if he was being truthful. She could tel that he was.
Now, she was confused.
“I… I know that you stil want to be with her,” Caitlin said, now not so sure of herself. “That you regret leaving her.
Sera.”
Caleb broke into a laugh.
“Is that real y what you thought?” he asked. “And here I am, thinking that you were mad at me because I turned you.”
Now it was Caitlin’s turn to be confused. “Are you saying you’re not interested in her?”
Caleb laughed again. “Not in the least,” he said. “I have never felt so free as I do now, being away from her. In fact, she hadn’t even crossed my mind.”
“Then what was it?” Caitlin asked. “I saw your expression change. You became so sad. I know that I wasn’t seeing things. I thought it was because you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”
Caleb looked down for a moment, his expression darkening.
“I was thinking of Jade,” he said, somberly. “I stil miss him very much.”
Caitlin felt a huge sense of relief overcome her; she felt her entire body relax, felt her heart slowly get fil ed up again.
She had been so stupid. Why had she judged him so quickly? Why couldn’t she have given him the benefit of the doubt?
She was so mad at herself. She would’ve thought that she would’ve grown up already, after al this time, after al these misunderstandings. But she was stil the same old Caitlin, fearless when it came to battle, but stil overcome by fear when it came to matters of love, and when it came to expressing what was on her mind.
“Is that what that was al about?” Caleb asked. “I thought that you were upset with me over our child.”
Caitlin looked at him, confused.
“I thought you regretted leaving him, the 21st century,”
Caleb continued, “and that you regretted giving it al up to come back for me.”
Caitlin suddenly understood. He had misunderstood her completely. The same way she had misunderstood him.
She shook her head.
“I do miss that child, very much, whoever he or she would have been,” she said. “But I don’t, for a second, regret coming back for you.”
The two of them came together and kissed. It was a long, comforting kiss, and when they came out of it, they both smiled.
Ruth ran over and yelped up at them. They both looked down and laughed. The tension had final y lifted, and the air had been cleared.
“Wel ,” Caleb smiled, “I remembered Edgartown, and so I thought I’d bring these horses, in case you’d be wil ing to ride with me again.”
“Wil ing?” Caitlin asked. “There is nothing I’d love more.”
“There is a place I’d like to take you,” Caleb said. “We could fly, but I think it’d be more romantic to ride, and to hike.”
Caitlin smiled wide. She couldn’t wait.
They both mounted the horses at the same time, Caitlin picking up Ruth as she did, and they took off at a trot along the beach.
The waves crashed al around them as they rode, and Caitlin couldn’t help thinking of Edgartown. A different time, a different continent, a different century, a different life. Yet stil , somehow, it al felt so connected, as if it were right here, and as if it had only happened yesterday.
They rode and rode, along the beach, in and out of the waves. There was not a person in sight.
It eventual y became late in the day, and the sun final y broke through the clouds, spreading out in a gorgeous sunset.
Caleb led them around a bend, and then turned away from the water, up to the base of a hil . He stopped, and Caitlin came up beside him.
They dismounted, and as they did, the horses gal oped away.
Caitlin watched them go with concern.
“Don’t worry,” Caleb said. “They’re wild. They’l always come when I cal for them. And from here on in, we won’t need them.”
He took her hand and led her away from the beach, onto a narrow trail, winding its way up the hil side. They hiked through beautiful dune grass, lit up by the sun, Ruth on their heels. Caitlin wondered where he was taking her.
As they walked in silence, Caitlin had so many questions she wanted to ask him. But for now, she was content to just be with him. It felt so good just to be by his side, to have her life restored to her again.
Final y, they reached the hil top, and Caitlin was awestruck by the sight.
From this vantage point, high atop the hil , on a grassy plateau, she could see for miles. She saw the ocean stretching into the hori
zon, and in the other direction saw endless rol ing hil s and fields of wildflowers.
Caleb sat on the grassy plateau, and she sat beside him.
Ruth came up and sat with them, too.
They lay back together, and looked up at the sky, and she put her head in his arms. The sky was so blue, unlike any sky she had ever seen, as it began to enter that magical time between day and night.
Caitlin lost track of time as they lay there, quietly, taking in the universe.
Eventual y, Caleb slowly sat up. Caitlin did, too.
He looked at her with a seriousness and intensity that scared her, as if he were preparing to say something real y important.
He cleared his throat, and she thought for a moment that he even looked a bit nervous.
“Caitlin,” he began. He paused. “I just want to tel you how much you mean to me. I’ve never real y had a chance, with just the two of us, to look back and reflect. I just want you to know, that even if it weren’t for al this, even if we hadn’t met the way we had, I stil would have fal en just as much in love with you.”
Caitlin felt her heart soar. It felt so good to hear the words, to know that he loved her as much as she loved him. Now, with him at her side, and feeling the same way she did, she felt like they could do anything. Nothing in the world could hold them back.
Caleb cleared his throat again, and she thought he looked even more nervous. She couldn’t understand why.
“Caitlin,” he said, clearing his throat again. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
Caitlin wondered why he didn’t just come out and say it, whatever it was. They had known each other long enough.
Why was he standing on ceremony? Why was he so nervous?
Caleb opened his mouth to speak again, and at the same time he appeared to be reaching back for something in his pocket.
Suddenly, at just that moment, there was a tremendous screech in the sky, and they both stopped and looked up.