Desired

by Morgan Rice

“Impossible,” he snapped. “We’d never win. They have ranks of vampire soldiers protecting the place. Aiden’s people. My men could not possibly win an attack.”

  “That’s because you’re not as good a strategist as I,” Kyle retorted. “We wil attack. And we wil defeat them. For that is where Caitlin’s people wil be. And once I kil them, I can kil her. But I agree, that we wil not attack head on. Instead, we wil create a diversion.”

  “What diversion?” Napoleon asked, impatiently.

  “The savage seven,” Kyle stated.

  Napoleon’s eyes opened wide.

  “Impossible. They’ve been locked up for centuries. No.

  That’s way too dangerous.”

  “That’s precisely why we’re going to break them free,” Kyle answered with a smile.

  Napoleon paced, thinking.

  Kyle knew it would be a shock. It was an unexpected plan.

  Which was precisely why it was bril iant. The savage seven, he knew, were some of the most vicious vampires to ever walk the earth.

  They had not belonged to any coven, and they had been captured in Paris centuries before. They sat rotting in jail, in the bowels of the Bastil e. If unleashed, they could wreak endless havoc. Exactly what he needed.

  But they were also a liability: they were just as likely to turn on Kyle and his men as they would on the humans. They were machines of destruction. It had taken hundreds of years to catch them, and both the vampire and the human races were happy to keep them where they were.

  Which was precisely why Kyle would free them. They would never expect it. And it could create exactly the sort of diversion he needed.

  “We wil free them,” Kyle commanded. “And then we wil attack. And your people can also have their revolution.”

  “Even if we wanted to,” Napoleon said, “it is impossible.

  They are deep in the Bastil e. There are legions of guards surrounding them. And I hear they are contained in a special cel , unbreakable.

  It’s better for us to wait,” he added. “I have infiltrators in Versail es. A spy, who reports back to me.

  She wil tel me al I know. We just need to wait for her.”

  “I have an infiltrator there, too,” Kyle said.

  “Who is yours?” Napoleon asked.

  “Who is yours?” Kyle asked.

  Neither answered, both distrusting of each other.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Kyle final y said. “We wil not wait for them. We never wait. We initiate.

  This is our war to begin.”

  “I don’t like it,” Napoleon said.

  Kyle stepped forward, bearing down on him with his ful height.

  “Wel then I’m glad you’re not the one in charge.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  As Caitlin walked through the fields, heading back alone to Caleb’s castle, she felt the world fal ing out from under her.

  She was in a daze, barely paying attention to where she was going. She barely glanced at the sea, barely heard the crashing of the waves, barely noticed that Ruth skipped alongside her, craving attention. Caitlin was oblivious to it al . Once again, she had let her guard down, had been ready for love, and had let Caleb back in. Once again, her heart had been broken.

  She was so mad at herself. How many times would she al ow herself to become vulnerable, only to be crushed again? When would she ever learn her lesson?

  And how had it al fal en apart so quickly?

  Caitlin wondered why her life could never just be normal.

  She felt as if she were always ascending to the highest peaks, only to be brought down to the lowest depths. Al she wanted was a normal life, a steady relationship, a place to cal home. And she had thought she’d final y found it.

  This place had seemed so imperturbable; it had felt as if nothing from the outside world could ever reach them here.

  And then, like lightning in a clear blue sky, that awful bird had appeared, carrying that letter.

  From Sera. In her awful handwriting. It was so unfair. It made her want to scream at the world.

  As quickly as Caleb had taken her to that hil top, in that beautiful moment which she thought would never end, he had just as quickly departed. She remembered watching him flying off, his huge wings flapping, heading off to Sera.

  As if he couldn’t wait another minute to be with her.

  Maybe she wasn’t being fair. Of course, he had said it was to be with his son. But had he real y meant it?

  And did that even matter? After al , he would be seeing her, regardless. He would be running to answer her letter, the second she came cal ing.

  It was hard for Caitlin to know what to think.

  It just wasn’t fair, Caitlin thought again, as she bunched up her face, flooding with anger.

  Just as quickly, her anger morphed to sadness, as she felt fresh tears streaking down her cheeks.

  Where would she go now? What would she do? She had embarked on time travel for Caleb. He had become her mission. And now, with him gone, what was her life’s purpose?

  Had she made a mistake to make love her life’s mission?

  To make this relationship her central purpose?

  At the time, nothing had seemed more important. And deep down, she stil felt as if love was the ultimate purpose in life.

  But now, at this moment, in her heartbreak, she couldn’t help feeling as if she’d made a mistake.

  As if she should have focused on more important things.

  On anything, except love.

  *

  Caitlin arrived at Caleb’s empty castle at dusk, Ruth limping at her heels. It felt to her like hours had passed since she’d left the hil top. The long walk had cleared her mind, and now she just felt hol owed out, depressed.

  Empty. Alone.

  Now, instead of looking up at the castle as her new home, as a place she looked forward to fixing up, a place where she could spend her life in peace, she just saw it as a reminder of Caleb, and of his leaving her alone.

  As she walked inside, she lit a few candles, just enough to see by. The dim environment suited her mood.

  Ruth whined, and Caitlin went instinctively to the room that held the leftover deer; she took some scraps and hand-fed them to Ruth, who snapped them up. For such a smal animal, she was ravenous.

  Caitlin herself was not. She had lost al desire for food.

  She wandered upstairs alone, trying not to think of Caleb, and made her way to the bedroom.

  She sat at the smal , medieval desk, and looked out the window. Before her, the last light of day was fading. In the distance, she could see the moon begin to rise.

  Caitlin lit a candle and pul ed it close, as she reached over and opened her journal. This was what she needed right now. The one friend she could turn to, she could voice al her frustrations to. This journal had real y become a trusted friend, the one common denominator in al her travels.

  She turned back the heavy leather cover, and the pages crinkled. She looked at her handwriting, flipping through the pages, and noticed how it had already changed. Al the different types of inks, of pens….Some of the pages were soiled by now, covered in dirt stains or wine spil s. The pages had become thick, too, from water stains and dampness. The journal already felt as if it were a thousand years old. She was shocked at how thick it had become.

  Had she real y done al this?

  The pages were getting completely fil ed, and Caitlin had to keep turning to find a blank page.

  Final y, she did. She took out the quil and ink blot she’d found, sharpened the edge, dipped it, and leaned in to write.

  *

  I don’t know how I’ve let myself end up in this position once again. I promised myself I wouldn’t let it happen, wouldn’t let myself fall in love with someone who might not be there for me. This time, though, it seemed so different.

  Caleb had seemed so sincere. And that’s the hardest thing—a part of me still thinks he is. That if that letter hadn’t come, we wo
uld still be here, together.

  Sera. I hate her. She’s always there, ready to split us apart.

  But I’m getting ahead of myself. I need to take a step back, to figure out how this all began. How I even got here in the first place.

  It all started in New York. New York, my God. It feels like a thousand lifetimes ago. I was just a normal, typical teenager, living with a mom who didn’t like me, and who I didn’t like either, and with an annoying little brother, who I loved. But, of course, nothing was normal. I was a hybrid, or so I would learn. A half-breed. Half human, half vampire. And coming of age at exactly the wrong time.

  There was that awful public high school, there was Jonah, the first boy I really had a crush on. There was our first date, my first feeding. I’d been so embarrassed to run out on that date, and even more embarrassed to find myself waking up the next day in a place I didn’t know. And having fed on I didn’t know what.

  Overnight, my life changed. I was hunted down by a dark coven of vampires, who captured me, and were determined to kill me. I broke free with Caleb’s help, and that was the first time I met him. I’d loved him from the first moment I saw him—and I haven’t stopped loving him since.

  He took me to his people, to his coven, to the Cloisters.

  But they refused to have me. I was on my own, and almost killed again, until Caleb saved me again, and turned his back on his own people to take me away.

  Then there came the searching for my father, my true father, for the mythical vampire sword that he would lead me to and which would save mankind. Or something like that. The way I saw it, it was really a search to find out who I was. Or what I was.

  Caleb and I searched together, from one town to the next, all up the East Coast. From the Hudson Valley to Martha’s Vineyard to Boston. There was our night of riding horses on the beach, of spending the night with him for the first time….It was amazing.

  But just as our romance began to take off, danger came for us. I found the Sword, and I was attacked by Sergei, Kyle’s awful sidekick, who stabbed me in the back with it.

  Dying, I begged Caleb to turn me.

  He listened.

  I was brought to Pollepel, an island in the Hudson River, to recover—once again, saved by Caleb. He left me, though, to go back with Sera, to go back to his people. He said it was just to help them, to save them from the war. I had been so jealous. Instead of giving him the room he needed, I believed he loved Sera.

  I trained on that island, and met Polly, my best friend, and Aiden, my mentor and teacher, and Blake, a mysterious boy who I loved but never really understood. I trained and fought and became a much better warrior.

  Became more of myself.

  And then I found out that I was pregnant, and that rocked my world. I just knew that Caleb was in danger. I left the island, to save him. Aiden told me that if I left, I could never come back. I chose Caleb. He was more important to me.

  I joined Sera, and together, we fought to rescue Caleb, who’d been captured in the vampire wars. We found him, captured in Kyle’s coven. And we were about to free him.

  But Sam had been caught in the grip of Kyle’s terrible influence, and he used his shapeshifting powers in an evil way. He tricked us, and he even tried to kill me. But Sera had stepped in, and gave up her life for mine.

  But Sam had actually killed me, because he tricked me to kill Caleb. With my own hands. With the Sword.

  Aiden had told me that there’d be one chance to save Caleb: if I went back in time. I had agreed to lose our child, to give up everything, to try. Aiden told me I could never come back. I let it all go for Caleb.

  I found myself in Italy, in 1791. Assisi. Venice. Florence.

  Rome. It was a whirlwind. In Venice, at first I couldn’t find Caleb, and then when I did, I had my heart broken to discover that he didn’t remember me. I fell in love with Blake, though, and in Florence, I finally found a clue to lead me to my father. But again, Kyle appeared, and stole it away, and captured us both.

  In Rome, I fought for my life, in the Colosseum, in Kyle’s cruel games. It was because of me that Blake died, taking a stab for me. Nothing hurt worse than that.

  How many people will have to die to keep me alive?

  Then their came Sam. I thought he would try to kill me, but he saved me instead. As did Caleb, who finally remembered. The three of us fought our way out together, and made it to the Vatican.

  There, I met my people. My true people. They gave me the first of four keys I need to find my father. And then sent us back in time. Yet again.

  And here I am now. In this new time and place. Finally reunited with Caleb—or so I thought. I felt sure that this could be the time and place where we could finally be together. When everything was perfect.

  And now, it all seems to be falling apart, once again.

  And who am I now? A daughter without a father? A sister without a brother? A girl without a boyfriend?

  Should I be searching for the Shield? Should I be searching for my father? Should I be chasing after Caleb?

  Should I wait for him here?

  Or should I leave this place forever?

  *

  Caitlin burst out the front door of the castle and ran in the night, through a waist high field of grass. As she ran, she tried to set off, to fly into the air, but her wings wouldn’t work. She ran faster, trying to jump, to lift off, but nothing happened. As she continued to run, nearly out of breath, she finally realized that she didn’t have the power she used to.

  In the distance, on the horizon, stood a lone figure, his body silhouetted against the full moon. The sky was alight with an enormous moon, illuminating thousands of small clouds. Caitlin ran towards the figure, feeling that it might be her father. Or possibly, Caleb.

  As she ran, suddenly, the landscape sloped downward, and she found herself running down, into a valley.

  Eventually, she was running up the other side again, up a huge hill. But the hill became so steep, and she grew tired.

  The lone figure stood atop it, beckoning, but it was too hard for her to reach him.

  The landscape became rocky, and Caitlin found herself slipping on huge rocks as she was trying to run up the side of a mountain. She was losing her grip and as she did, a rockslide began.

  She slid downward. She grabbed hold of a large rock, hanging precariously, and looked up, hoping for help.

  Her father looked down, holding out a hand.

  “Help!” Caitlin screamed.

  “Find me, Caitlin,” he responded, as his hand nearly reached hers. “Don’t give up the search.”

  Caitlin reached up, trying to touch her father’s hand, but she lost her grip, and suddenly, she was sliding down the mountain, further and further down, until she was falling endlessly into a black hole. She screamed for all she had, knowing that she was plummeting to her death.

  Caitlin woke screaming.

  She looked al around, breathing hard, trying to remember where she was.

  She spotted a dying candle in the corner of the room, and saw Ruth lying on her bed, looking at her with concern. She saw the huge window, open to the moonlight, and realized it was just a dream.

  She was stil in Caleb’s castle.

  Caitlin got out of bed, covered in sweat, and paced, barefoot, on the stone floor. It felt so weird to be in this huge place alone, to be in his bed alone. She felt like an intruder here, and felt disoriented.

  The dream had seemed so real. Her heart was stil pounding as she crossed the room, then through the huge doors and out onto the open terrace. She grabbed a jug of water and gulped it down as she stood on the terrace, looking out. Her throat was parched.

  She heard a whining noise, and looked down and saw Ruth at her feet, looking up. She put down what was left of her water, and Ruth quickly lapped up the rest.

  Caitlin studied the sky, lit up in the moonlight. As much as she had loved being here the day before, now, she hated it.

  It felt wrong to her. Despite the unusual cir
cumstances, she stil felt as if she had been spurned by Caleb. She felt he should have refused, that he should have just been happy with her, and had stayed put. That he shouldn’t have gone flying off the second that Sera contacted him. She knew that she was being selfish, and she understood that he missed his child.

  But stil , she felt like she deserved better than that.

  Caitlin zoned out, standing there for she didn’t know how long, as she slowly watched the horizon begin to break, the dark blue gradual y melt into a softer, lighter blue. She felt so confused about so many things. Maybe her dream had been a message. Maybe she should focus on the search.

  Maybe it was time to let Caleb go from her life.

  After al , Caitlin did desperately want to find her father. She did want to have al the searching behind her, to have her life return to whatever state of normalcy there might be. And somehow, she felt, as long as the Shield was out there, as long as her Dad stil loomed on the horizon, her life would never quite be normal.

  As dawn began to break, Caitlin realized she needed to clear her head, to stop the thousands of racing, conflicting thoughts swirling through it. Ruth whined again, and this time, Caitlin picked her up. Ruth clearly needed to take a walk, and so did she.

  Caitlin walked down the stairs and out the castle, into the dawn, and fol owed the trail through the fields. The trail wound its way right into a patch of woods, and Caitlin realized that would be a perfect place for a long walk.

  Caitlin wound her way into the woods, and already felt more relaxed. It was darker here, stil night, and more peaceful.

  Al around her were towering trees, blocking out most of the sky, and she could hear the songs of a few early morning birds, just waking. It was tranquil.

  Caitlin thought of where she might go next. She found herself thinking of the unopened scrol , of her father’s letter.

  Maybe now was the time to open it. Maybe something in there would lead her, show her the way. Maybe she was being punished for not fol owing her mission to begin with.

  Maybe she had needed al this drama to force her back on track.