“Most, yes. But not me.”
“What did you do?” I all but whispered. His confession twisted me up and made it hard for me to breathe.
“What haven’t I done? If they were coming for anyone, I would have thought they’d have tagged me first.”
“Please don’t say that. I don’t want to worry about them coming for you or about what…what would come after.”
He raised a hand to touch the side of my face. I shivered from his touch. It didn’t feel friendly. It felt like more. Butterflies woke in my stomach and danced throughout my whole body.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said softly.
“I can’t not worry about it.”
“Let’s focus on Marco right now. Then we’ll deal with the curse.” He ran his thumb over my cheek and then dropped his hand.
Pushing the curse out of my mind wasn’t as easy as he made it sound. Especially when he reminded me, quite thoroughly with a simple touch, how much I’d once cared for him. And how much I likely still did.
“Marco was like Seth,” I said. “He was innocent.”
“Seth and Marco weren’t the same. Seth never had the stomach for hurting other people, not even if it furthered the interests of the pack. Marco never had to be asked twice. You gave him a task, he did it. No questions asked. And then he shook it off.”
“He hurt people?” I asked, surprised.
Noah nodded.
“And you do too?”
He sighed and nodded again.
“Do you ever feel bad about it?”
“Does it make a difference?” he asked.
“It really does.”
He exhaled slowly. “Not badly enough to stop me from doing it again, I guess.”
His penetrating eyes examined every inch of my face. He wanted to touch me again. I could see it. And I wanted to touch him back. I took a couple of steps back to distance myself from him.
Mason. Mason. Mason.
I kept saying his name over and over in my mind. He was good for me. I loved him, and he loved me back. He could give me a life I’d always dreamed of. Mom was right. This was all a big distraction. When this was all over, I would want to go home. Noah wasn’t good for me. He’d never put me first. Never over the pack.
“I don’t bite,” he said.
I let out a breath I’d found myself holding. “I know you do.”
He grinned mischievously, the way he had as a boy.
“So what now?”
“Well, it’ll look suspicious if we asked to see him now.” He glanced at his night stand. It was after one in the morning. “Come on. I’ll take you home. We’ll visit him in the morning.”
I resisted the urge to hug him. It was a good idea, and he knew it. I was grateful he listened. But then, he always had listened, even if he didn’t always give me my way. He dropped his bag to the floor and waved to the hallway.
“What about Laird?”
He shrugged. “I’ll deal with Laird. He’s not completely unreasonable.”
I had to laugh at that. Were we talking about the same person?
Twelve
Somehow, the night had gotten cooler. Noah made for his bike, but when I climbed on behind him and did a full body shiver, he quickly changed his mind. “Let’s take the car.”
“I’m fine. You’ll warm me up.”
His golden eyes darkened to amber, and my cheeks flushed the second those words had left my mouth. He’d taken that the wrong way. And now I did, too, imagining myself next to him, skin to skin. Oh, good lord, I couldn’t let my mind go there.
He cleared his throat and walked to the car. I followed and climbed in beside him. “Thank you.” Who said chivalry was dead?
“Your comfort is my first priority.”
He joked, but that didn’t diminish his thoughtfulness.
He fired up the car, and I rubbed my arms for warmth while it heated up. After he backed out on the highway, he headed for my mother’s house. I glanced at him under the soft glow of the dashboard light as he drove, but he focused on the road. He kept the radio off and the silence was nice.
I chewed on my nails.
“What’s on your mind?”
He was on my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Every second with him reminded me of a different memory. Some good, and some painful. “Nothing. I was just thinking about when I left.”
“And?”
“I was just thinking about when you saw me off at the bus station, and I’d asked you to get on that bus with me. What would have happened if you’d gotten on?”
He nodded.
“Do you ever think about that?”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Sometimes.” He ran a hand over his hair and let out a quiet breath. “I couldn’t leave. You knew that. But you left anyway.”
“You never called.”
He scoffed at me. “Neither did you, sweetheart. And you knew where to find me if you wanted to talk. I had no idea where you were staying or how to get ahold of you.”
“So it was luck you found me so quickly when the pack needed me?”
He looked away. No, I didn’t think so. He knew where I was. He’d likely known my street address before he ever had the need or desire to find me.
He let out a sigh. “The pack’s my family, Maise. If it weren’t for them, I would have been in the system or on the streets. You can’t be angry at me for staying.”
“And you can’t be angry at me for leaving.” I fidgeted with my hands, not sure if I should say what I wanted to say next. “I’m your family too. Maybe not blood. But Seth wasn’t my blood either, and I loved you both.”
He spun his head in my direction and he raised an eyebrow. “Loved?”
I opened my mouth and snapped it shut. Yes, I loved him. Did I still? It was different from how I loved Seth, whom I’d loved as a brother. My feelings for Noah had been complicated and messy. He’d been my friend, but I’d crushed on him so hard. I’d wanted more, but I’d never ever told him. I was certain he’d known. After Seth died, I couldn’t be here anymore. I was so angry with the pack. I blamed them for his death, and I blamed myself for not being able to help him through the lowest point in his life. I couldn’t stand to look in the mirror somedays. No, I’d had to leave to protect myself. I’d already lost my dad, and Seth’s death just added to existing grief I’d never let myself deal with. Noah wanted me to stay, but he’d never come out and said it. If he’d asked me, would I have? The strong woman inside of me would have said, never. But the girl inside of me who loved a boy so much it hurt? She might have said yes. And it could have been disastrous.
“You know what I mean,” I said.
“No, I don’t. You’ll have to explain it to me.”
He could be so frustrating sometimes. He approached my house and turned into the driveway. He put the car in park and let it idle. “Now isn’t the time. Can we just focus on the hunters right now?”
He nodded and shifted a little so he partly faced me. “You were the one who brought it up.”
I ignored him and switched topics fast. “So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
He nodded.
“Do we need to check anyone else?”
“What do you mean?”
I sighed. “You guys won’t tell me what Marco did, and I know he did something. Laird seemed so certain he’d have a mark. But since he won’t tell me why he thinks that, I’m blind here. Is it possible other pack members have one too?”
He shifted in his seat, and then he slowly shook his head. “Not everyone.”
“Then who?”
He ran a hand through his messy dark hair. His now crimson-colored eyes focused on me. “Just me.”
I exhaled and as my breath left my body I sunk deeper into my seat. It took me a few moments to collect myself enough so that when I spoke my voice would come out calm and strong. “Come inside.”
He made a face. “Your mother’s here.” He pointed to her truck.
“I don’
t care. I need to know if you’re marked. I’m not waiting until tomorrow.”
“It doesn’t matter. The bullet already burned me. Or whatever you said it was. My fate is sealed, Maise. Now. Fifty years from now. It doesn’t make a lick of a difference.”
“It does to me, so get out of the goddamned car and let me check you over.”
I got out and shut the door. When he didn’t follow, I walked to his side of the car and opened his door for him. “Don’t make me set you on fire.”
He fought a smile. “Been there, sweetheart. Done that.”
“Just do this for me, Noah. You might act like you’re not scared, but I don’t believe you. And even if you’re not scared, then I’m scared for you.” I fought to keep my voice from trembling. “So, please.” I crouched so we were eye level. I reached in and pressed the button on his seat belt. It slowly dragged up and over his body. His breath ruffled my hair and warmed my face. We sighed simultaneously.
“I’m going to break the curse,” I told him. “And if you’re marked, I’m going to save you.”
“I don’t need anyone to save me.”
“Normally I’d agree with you, but in this instance? You need me, Noah. You were there for me when I needed you. Now I’m going to be there for you. Maybe it’ll help make up for all the times I wasn’t.”
When he nodded, it was slight. With hesitation, he slowly climbed out of the car and stood in front of me, head down. Vulnerable. I reached out my hand and touched my fingers to his, then threaded them through so that when I looked down, I couldn’t distinguish his fingers from mine. His hand was warm and his grip was soft but firm. I started to walk, gently tugging him along with me. At the front door, I reached up to the hanging planter with blue and ivory flowers cascading from it. I grabbed the key and opened the door.
“We have to be really quiet,” I said. Mom was most definitely asleep.
“You forget I’ve snuck into your room many times before,” he whispered.
True, he had, but not the way it sounded. When we’d lived with my stepfather, he hung out at our house a lot. Seth was an early sleeper. When he’d nod off, Noah would come into my room and crawl into bed with me. We’d lay side by side, staring up at the ceiling, and we’d talk. Rarely did we talk about anything important. I think we just liked being near each other. It was comfortable.
I led him to the basement so Mom was less likely to hear us. The space had been finished, though nothing hung from the tan painted walls. Not one photo or piece of artwork. And except for an old cherry-colored sofa, matching chair, and a wooden television stand without a television on it, most of the floor space sat bare. She’d started from scratch after leaving Laird. She still hadn’t gotten around to, or wasn’t able to afford, decorating the room the way she wanted. I thought maybe I’d help her with that one day.
I searched the walls for the light switch but the small windows barely let in the moonlight. I couldn’t see my hands in front of me. The lights flickered on and Noah stood beside the switch.
He started to undress.
I turned my back, and he chuckled.
“You’ve seen it all before. Hell, you saw it all last night.”
“When you shift I try to look away.”
“Why?” His question surprised me.
“I’m not about to stare.” But I did stare, when I thought he wasn’t looking. It’s impossible to be a girl with hormones and not appreciate his rugged beauty and his tall, muscular body.
“You’re welcome,” he teased.
It was as if he saw right through me. I stifled a laugh. “It’s not about not wanting to stare at you.”
“I’m listening.”
“I know it hurts, and it leaves you kind of vulnerable. It seems wrong to watch.”
I peeked over my shoulder and he nodded in understanding. “It hurt when I was younger. When I first started changing.”
“It doesn’t anymore?”
“I don’t know. I guess I got used to it. Like, maybe, I became numb to it? If that makes any sense,” he said.
“It does. I feel that way about magic. It’s always there, wanting to be let loose, but after blocking it out for so long, it doesn’t affect me like it used to.”
“It hurts?”
I offered a weak shrug. “Sometimes. It’s like a burn that’s nearly healed. It aches, but if I don’t focus on it, I can mostly forget about it.”
“Hmm.”
“Are you decent?” I asked as I faced the staircase.
“Turn around and find out for yourself.”
Sigh. With my eyes closed I turned, and then slowly opened one eye and then the other. Okay, he was decent. I fidgeted while he finished taking off the rest of his clothes, with the exception of his boxers. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband, about to pull them down.
“Whoa! I’m not going to check your penis.”
He grinned. “I thought you’d want to be thorough.”
“You’re an idiot.”
He winked at me. “Sure?”
“Very sure.” I slowly walked toward him. I focused on the curve of his chest and the cords of abs on his stomach. All of them were perfectly defined. He had a tan line at his neck and below his biceps. His face, neck, and lower arms were so much more golden than the rest of him. I let my eyes roam over his arms, and then I clutched the sides of his arms and pulled them up to look underneath them. “Turn around.”
Slowly, he obliged. I took a breath and bit my lip, hoping I wouldn’t find the symbol where the others had been in the book Elizabeth had shown me. But there it was, staring at me, like it was branded into his flesh. White, neat lines. A scar that looked like it had long since healed. I felt as if all the air in my lungs had been forced out.
“What’s the verdict?” he asked. Did he try hard to sound calm? Unfettered? Or did he feel that way? He sure sounded like it. Maybe he thought he could beat the hunters if they came for him? Sure, he was strong and he had a fighting chance, but what chance did he have when he took his last breath? There was no fighting death or the devil. There just wasn’t.
When he turned, he frowned. Deep lines settled in his forehead, but I don’t think they were for him. I think they were for me. He reached out to catch the single tear that fell from my eye. I choked down more tears.
I’d thought I had time. That he and Rex were doomed but that it would happen at the end of their natural lives. I never expected that hunters would be coming for him like they’d come for Marco. How long did he have now? Hours? Days? Weeks?
“No tears, Maisie. I can’t deal with tears.”
“I’m sorry.” Another tear fell. “I’ll figure this out. I’ll fix this.”
“I’m not worried. You shouldn’t be either. I’ve done enough shit that I always knew I was going there anyway. The burn? The mark? It hasn’t changed anything.”
“You’re not evil, Noah.”
He shrugged. “I just might be.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He looked down at me and laid his hands on my shoulders. I felt his concern and it only fueled more tears. He pulled me in then, and I cried into his chest, not even registering that he stood naked next to me. I gave myself those few minutes because I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t like crying, and I didn’t like how weak tears made me feel, so I soon forced myself to stop. He lowered one hand and caressed my back. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment, knowing with Noah, I wouldn’t get a lot of them.
“It’s late,” he finally said. “You’re going to need your rest if you’re going to save me.”
I heard the teasing quality in his tone. I couldn’t joke or laugh at something like that. “I will. I promise you, I will.”
“I don’t doubt it. Not much will stop you when you put your mind to something.”
“Not even you,” I said.
“No. Not even me.”
After he put his clothes back on, he walked me upstairs. I headed for the door but he stopped in the hall. “I
’ll tuck you in,” he said, nodding toward the bedrooms. I wasn’t sure how he knew where they were, but then, I’d never asked him if he’d been in Mom’s house before. Perhaps he had.
Tuck me in? I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t. Having him in my room was a bad idea, but I wondered if him asking was more for him than for me. Whenever he came into my room at Laird’s house, he’d always come without an invite. He’d come because he’d wanted to. I’d never told him to leave. Never wanted to. Once, he’d told me he just liked the company. That being alone in the quiet, in his room, in his house with his aunt and uncle, made him think too much. I’d understood what he meant though he’d never said it outright. We’d both lost someone, and we’d filled a void for each other. So now when he offered to tuck me in, I felt it was because he needed it. That he needed me. And I liked that too much to say no. I should have cared what Mason thought, but the truth was, I didn’t think of Mason at all. What kind of person did that make me?
My stomach flip-flopped as he followed me to my room. I tiptoed inside and turned on my light. When I turned, he stood by my dresser, his eyes intent on me. Nothing would happen. I was with Mason. We’d lay in bed together like we had a million times before.
I passed by him, my arm brushing against his. Even through our shirts, his heat touched me. Quietly, I shut my door and then took off my jewelry and sweater. He didn’t move; he just continued watching me. Then I pulled off my jeans and crawled into bed in my T-shirt and underpants. My heart beat double time, and I felt its constant, hurried pace in my neck.
Boots and all, he strode toward me then. He stood over my bed, looking down at me. I swallowed hard. He slid onto the bed and crossed his feet at the ankles while putting an arm behind his head. We were pressed against each other, side to side, but it was as comforting as if he’d captured me in a warm embrace. My whole body relaxed as if my muscles had released a long-held sigh. I leaned over and put my head on his chest.
“This is nice,” I said and then let out a big yawn. He lowered his hands and wrapped one around my shoulders. “Do you ever wish we could go back to high school and just stay there.”
Pack Witch (Captured Souls Book 1) Page 12