I hadn’t expected that. “No,” I said. “I don’t. High school was hard, and no one was particularly friendly to me. They all thought I was crazy, or some serial pyromaniac.”
“That’s my fault. Every fire you set was because of me.”
“Yes, it was all your fault.”
He chuckled. “If only you had better control over your temper.”
“I do now. I’m not sure why, but when I left, I never caused another fire.”
“You never used magic in Gravewood?”
“Umm…no. I tried a few times.”
“I guess your mother got her wish.”
I looked up at him. “Have you ever lied to me?”
I felt his body soften as he exhaled. “I don’t think so. I probably omitted a hell of a lot, but I never outright lied. Why?”
“Nothing.”
He shook me a little to prod me. “You might as well tell me. You know you want to.”
I chuckled and then lost the energy for it. “I knew you kept things from me, but I also knew that you never would have told me anything that wasn’t true. So I trusted you in that way.”
“Trusted?”
“I trust you still. Sorry, it’s not about you. I guess I’m trying to work through something else. Like what to do about someone who lets you down or surprises you, in a bad way.”
“You talking about someone in particular?”
I chewed on my cheek but eventually I told him about my mother. It flowed easily from my mouth. It saddened me when I thought of Mason, but it felt so good to be next to someone I could just relax and be myself with. Without any filter or lies. Without worrying if I’d done something to upset him or said the wrong thing. It felt easy. I hadn’t felt easy for a very long time. I’d always been on guard in Gravewood, waiting for the other shoe to drop and for someone to call me out or hate me for what I was.
I pulled my necklace free from my shirt and held it up for him to see. He took hold of the gem, and our fingers brushed against one another before I slowly slid mine away. Something inside of me stirred that shouldn’t have.
“It’s pretty.”
“She should have given this to me a long time ago.”
“I wouldn’t be too angry with her. Sometimes caring about people is complicated. It can twist you up inside and make you do things you shouldn’t.”
I met his sad hooded eyes, and I desperately wanted to know who he thought of when he said that. I couldn’t shut down my curiosity. We were friends. It was okay to ask. But I didn’t because I was afraid of his answer.
“I’ve already forgiven her,” I told him.
He let go of the necklace and gently let it fall onto my chest.
“Of course, you have. You love her.” He adjusted his position. “And you’re a good person. I think you forgive people easier than most.”
“Not Laird. Or Douglas.”
“No. Not them. But like your mother, they were trying to protect people they loved. They were trying to protect the pack.”
“Seth was Laird’s kid. Kids should always come first. You should do what you can to make your kid’s life better, not cast them aside.”
He shrugged. “Again, love twists you up and makes you do things you shouldn’t. They loved the pack.”
“More than Seth?”
He nodded slowly. “More than any one member.”
I let out a long sigh. Forgiving Mom had been easy, though I was still angry, but I didn’t know if I would ever get over my anger at Douglas and Laird. I wanted to, because it ate away at me when I let thoughts of them and of Seth creep into my mind. But I couldn’t forgive them yet, and I wouldn’t for a long time.
“Does your mom’s lie change anything?”
“Sort of.”
“You going to be a real witch now? Fly on a broom and make potions and turn people into frogs.”
I made a face and he laughed a little too hard.
“Sssshhh. You’ll wake Mom up,” I said with a chuckle.
He covered his mouth.
“My dad never flew on a broom.”
He fought a smile as he removed his hand. “What made you use magic in the city—or try to, I mean?”
“I took a course to work in hospitals. The floor I work on has palliative patients. It’s hard watch them suffer. But I took the job because I wanted to help others. That bird…” Sigh. “That bird I’d healed made me hope I could help others. I thought maybe I could do something positive with my magic. That I could help heal people who were suffering. I might have tried to avoid magic for the longest time, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to use it. I got it from my dad, and having it, just feeling it run through me, makes me feel closer to him.”
“That makes sense.” He stroked my upper arm with this thumb, and I nestled in a little closer. “You want to help others. But you can’t fix everyone.”
He meant him. I couldn’t fix him. Another yawn got the better of me though I tried to fight it. “I can fix you. Just wait and see.”
“I believe you.”
“What have you been up to while I was gone?” My voice was quiet and sleepy. I couldn’t help it. His heart thudded in his chest in steady, rhythmic beats. It was like a lullaby. “I want to know what I missed.”
“Not much to tell.”
“Did you find someone? I never asked: are you seeing someone right now?”
“Who could put up with me?”
“Fair question.”
His chest bounced under my head as he chuckled. “Sometimes I help out at the scrap yard. And sometimes I do other things.”
“Like what?”
He went quiet.
I pinched his stomach hard.
“Hey, now.” He swatted my hand away.
“Did you miss me?” I asked. With bated breath, I waited for an answer.
His voice changed. It became deeper, thoughtful. “Yes.”
“Then tell me. I want to know you again.”
“Does it matter? When this is over, you’re going back to the city, right?”
“Is that what you want?”
He quietly murmured, “No.”
My heart fluttered. Actually fluttered. And I knew how much trouble that spelled for Mason and me.
A moment later he began, telling me about how he’d left the bus station feeling empty. How he’d done nothing but work seven days a week at his family’s metal business to forget about Seth and about me. I held him harder, like I might lose him again if I didn’t. I never wanted to let go. The more he spoke, the more I craved hearing what he had to say, but the hours since he’d walked back into my life caught up with me. I couldn’t fight sleep anymore. Before long, I was asleep in my best friend’s arms. It was as if not a single day had passed since I’d seen him last.
Thirteen
My eyes opened and met Noah’s. He lay in bed with me, under the covers. His warm almost-naked body lay facing me, our legs intertwined and his hand on my waist. Thank God he had his underwear on.
A faint smile built on his lips, and I mirrored it with my own before letting out a giggle that made me feel like a teenager again. “Did you sleep well?”
“Best sleep I’ve had in six years.”
“Noah, I—”
A loud rapping sounded on the door and then it swung open. Mom let out a gasp as she stood in the doorjamb. I tilted my head up and widened my eyes. She drew a deep breath and turned, but she didn’t leave. Instead, she stepped in the room and quietly pushed the door closed. After an awkward silence where she bowed her head and mumbled under her breath, she spun around to face us.
“Mom, I can explain.” I felt like I had the first time she’d found me in bed with Noah. I’d been sixteen. That time had been completely innocent too.
“Morning, Mrs. Lewis,” Noah said, a little too sweetly.
I elbowed him.
She glowered at him. “Maisie, you need to get out of bed and get dressed and then come out to the kitchen. Your boyfriend is here.
He drove here this morning after being on call because he couldn’t reach you last night, and he was worried you were dealing with more than what you let on. Which, by the way, if you’re going to tell him a lie about me, I’d prefer to know what that lie is so I don’t get caught up in it.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.” I didn’t miss the irony of her lecturing me on lies, but in that moment, I was a teen again, and she was the mom who had the power to ground me and make my life as miserable as possible.
She held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“It honestly isn’t what it looks like,” Noah said.
The glare Mom gave him could have stopped a heart from beating. “Mason’s a good man, and he loves you. God damn it, he just told me he wants to marry you. Don’t ruin your chance at happiness. Whatever happened last night isn’t worth it.” She tuned on her heel and left the room, slamming the door behind her.
Mason was here in Clover? I sprung to life, grabbing Mom’s jeans and my sweater. It took me three seconds to put them on. Noah sat on the edge of the bed while he pulled on his dark shirt. Then he bent over and reached for his jeans which sat on the floor.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said. “Mom just…well, you know she wants me away from here and…”
“And away from me.”
I frowned. “It’s not about you. Not really.”
He waved me off. “Don’t worry about it. I get it.” He ran a hand over his hair and yawned before pushing off the bed and buttoning up his jeans.
“Do you?”
He nodded, but I saw hurt in his eyes.
“He wants to marry you, huh?”
I wrung a hand around the back of my neck. “I don’t know. We’ve talked about the future and he’s mentioned he sees me in his, but he’s never asked, and I’ve never told him I would say yes if he did.”
“And if he asked you right now?”
I fidgeted with my fingers. A few days ago, I would have said yes, and I would have been confident that was the right answer. Mason and I had a good life together. He was good and kind and everyone loved him. He had a normal family who doted on me and made me feel welcome. Yes, he drove me crazy sometimes. Okay, well, sometimes he drove me crazy on a daily basis. But a person is bound to dislike things about their partner. It’s inevitable, right? Did he make me feel the way Noah did? The truth was, I didn’t think anyone could make me feel the way he did. Was I confusing a best friend with a partner? Maybe.
He bent to tie the laces on his boots. “You going to introduce me?” He stood tall.
“Now?” I said, incredulous.
“Why not?”
“Because of how this looks.”
“Ah, you want me to sneak out and make life easier on you.” He pointed to the window. “So you can keep on lying to him.”
“Noah.”
“You think I’ll make it easy for you to go back to your life? Let you go again?”
“He’ll always put me first. Can you say that?” In many ways, I believed this.
“It’s that simple, isn’t it?”
I sighed and tossed up my hands. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with Mason and me. Laird might never let me go back anyway.”
“I let you go once because I wanted you to be happy and because you wanted to leave. It was one of the few times in my life I did the right thing.”
“What do you want me to do? Just tell me what you want.”
He scoffed at that. “You know what I want? I want you to be happy, and that’s never going to happen when you’re with a man who doesn’t know the first thing about you.”
“You are not the expert on relationships. You’ve never even had one,” I whisper yelled.
He stared at me blankly. “You’re not going to tell him, are you?”
“About my magic? I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. Fine, don’t tell him what you are. Don’t let him get to know the real you. And when your marriage falls apart, then maybe you can admit you liked the idea of him more than you actually liked him. Or maybe this is just about your mother? What she wants?”
I tossed my hands up and I felt the deep burn before my fingers started to spark. Shit! No. Not now. I balled them up tight and hugged them into my chest.
Noah smiled smugly. “Well, this should be fun.” He approached the door, and as he was about to open it, I hurried over to him and put my hands on his forearm. My fingers buzzed with electricity, ready to spit fire. I closed my eyes and counted to five before whispering, “Please. Not now. I can’t. Please.”
Warm, firm lips clamped down on mine and my eyes sprung open before fluttering closed again. His kiss ignited me to my core, but I felt the burn in my fingers ease. In its place, tingling. And butterflies, jittering, sweet butterflies that tap danced in my stomach.
When he broke away, his intense expression met my surprised one. My body was weak but satisfied. I could breathe again.
“Better?” he asked, his voice breathy and deep.
All I could manage was a small nod.
He let go of me and I felt a burn where his fingers had been.
“You—you can’t do that. I can’t do that.”
“Next time,” he began. “Stop me.” He sauntered to my window and winked at me before he opened it. I needed him to leave, but I wanted him to stay. Both instincts were at war with one another.
“I’ll pick you up around one,” he said.
“What?”
“Marco?”
“Right. How could I forget?”
“It’s understandable. Sometimes I kiss girls and they forget their own names.”
I clucked my tongue at him. “How many girls?”
He flashed me a wink. “Well, since I’m not getting an introduction…” He stripped bare, and I turned away just before he got to the good bits. After a whoosh, I spun around and the window was open. I walked forward and when I looked out to the front yard to see him race down the lawn, he was a wolf.
I spied Mason in the kitchen before he saw me. He and my mother talked about the house and about what she’d done to it since she’d moved in. Some of the renovations she’d done herself, like changing out all the old light fixtures. Mom lit up, using her hands animatedly as she pointed to the fancy bulbous chandelier in the living room. She’d never met him and yet she treated him like he was a friend. Like he was family. As I stared at that, it hit me then how he looked closer to her age than mine. And how foreign he felt to me. An alien in my hometown.
Mason’s gaze flickered my way and he did a double take. “There you are!” He hurried toward me with his arms outstretched. It had been less than forty-eight hours since I’d last seen him, but so much had changed. I had to admit, Noah’s last words to me had a lot to do with it, as did his kiss. I didn’t want to pretend anymore. Certainly not with someone who was supposed to be my partner in life and in love. Was Noah right? Did I love the idea of him more than I actually loved him? Was that because of my mother? Because she’d convinced me that someone like him was good for me? I wasn’t so sure about that anymore.
He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I told you I’d call last night, and you never answered. I started to worry.”
“I’m so sorry. It never rang. My ringer must have been off.” I’d been distracted, and I was awful. He deserved a call. He deserved a hell of a lot more.
“Your mother told me you were catching up with some old friends in town.”
“Um,” I looked over at Mom by the kitchen island. She slowly dunked a tea bag in and out of a steamy mug. She leveled me with a look that spoke of disappointment and irritation. “Yes. It’s been so long since I’ve seen some of my…friends.”
“Well, you’re safe and that’s all that matters.”
How could he forgive me so easily? I would have been pissed off if the tables were turned. I didn’t want him to get mad, but…okay, maybe I did. We never fought. Not ever. He’d give me a look that show
ed he was upset, and I’d fix what was wrong. When he upset me, I never spoke up. I was…I’d been…the younger version of my mother.
“I’m sorry you had to come all this way.”
“Don’t be. I called your Mom to check in. She let me know everything was okay and then she told me where she lived and invited me to stay for the week. I thought you could show me around town, maybe you could let me in on all the secrets this place has to offer.” He waggled his eyebrows.
Secrets? Mom almost choked on her tea. She pounded on her chest. “It’s okay. Went down the wrong hole.”
He leaned back to watch me. Nervous energy bubbled inside of my gut. “A week. Wow.”
Mom wouldn’t meet my stare. He wasn’t safe here. But I knew in that moment that was an excuse. I didn’t want him here. It was a tough pill to swallow, because I’d had my life planned out a few days ago. After spending time with Noah I felt as conflicted as I had been the day I left Clover.
“I called Trevor, and he’s covering for me,” Mason said. “And I called your boss and told her you’d had a family emergency. She said you could take off your next set of shifts and then give her a call if you need more time.”
“Wow. That was generous of her.”
“This can be a mini vacation for us.”
“That’s great news.” Thanks, Mom. Anything she could do to make certain I stayed away. I pulled him back into a tight embrace and buried my head into his chest. He couldn’t stay here. He just couldn’t. But I didn’t have it in me to do what I needed to do. Not right now.
“You must be so tired,” I said. “Did you get called in last night?”
“Yeah, but I got a few hours’ sleep. How about we have breakfast? I could whip us up something if you help me find everything. Or we could go to that market on Main Street. What a quaint little town this is. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”
We broke away from each other, and he looked back and forth between Mom and me. “Are you interested in some of my famous pancakes?”
“I have to get to work,” Mom announced. “The joy of owning your own business. But I’m sure Maisie would love to take you to the cafe later or you can have breakfast there now.”
Pack Witch (Captured Souls Book 1) Page 13