Raina's Story

by Lurlene McDaniel

Raina felt a stab of envy. She longed to have Hunter by her side through the upcoming ordeal.

  Out in the hall, Carl said, “Helen and I would enjoy treating you both to dinner.”

  “No, no,” Vicki said, looking apologetic. “We should unpack, grab a nap.”

  Raina didn’t want to be left with either the Delaschmidts or her mother. She wanted to be with her sister, but that wasn’t an option at the moment.

  When she and Vicki were back in their hotel room, Vicki said, “Pick something off the room service menu.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “It wasn’t a suggestion, Raina.”

  “A hamburger,” Raina said, tossing the menu aside, heading for the bathroom. “I’m taking a bath.”

  “Don’t you think you’ve shut me out long enough? Don’t you think this is hard for me too? I gave birth to her, you know!”

  Raina didn’t answer. She swept into the bathroom and turned on the taps full blast, drowning out her mother’s voice.

  “I can’t get over how much the two of you look like each other,” Jon-Paul said that evening when everyone was gathered in Emma’s room and waiting for the doctors. “Can I take a picture?” He held up a camera.

  “He’s a professional photographer,” Emma explained. “Every moment is a Kodak moment to him.”

  Everybody laughed, breaking the tension that hung in the air. Raina had liked Jon-Paul from the moment she’d met him. He was slender, with chiseled features and light brown hair cut shaggily across his forehead. He was coiled energy barely held in check, and a blind person could have seen how much he adored Emma. Raina scooted next to Emma on the bed, and they mugged for his camera. He fired off a series of shots before Raina could blink.

  “Now how about you mothers?” He said it so casually that Vicki and Helen moved forward automatically and took their positions on either side of the girls. Vicki caught herself and started to step aside, but Jon-Paul said, “For posterity. Don’t move.” He raised the camera.

  Smooth, Raina thought.

  “You too, Dad.”

  Carl embraced Emma and they turned to face the camera cheek to cheek. Jon-Paul had just snapped off several shots when three men and two women wearing white coats swept into the room. Raina didn’t need formal introductions to know this was Emma’s medical team. The head doctor, a tall African American named Samson Wingate, shook Raina’s hand warmly. “You don’t know how much we’ve been looking forward to this moment. I was amazed when your test results showed you were such a close match to Emma. When I heard you were her actual blood sister, I whooped.” The room of people laughed. Dr. Wingate looked too distinguished to whoop.

  “We’ll need to run more tests, Raina. You’ll need to talk to one of our shrinks—just a formality—and we’ll put Emma into isolation and begin radiating her bone marrow.”

  Emma’s diseased marrow would have to be destroyed so that Raina’s healthy marrow had a chance of taking hold. The doctor continued, “During that time, Emma will be very vulnerable to germs and microbes. That’s why she’ll be isolated.” He was restating facts they already knew. The days, or perhaps weeks, before and after the transplant would be the most dangerous for Emma. If she didn’t reject the new marrow, if she didn’t contract any nasty illnesses, she would have a chance of surviving.

  “When do you want to start?” Carl asked.

  “The sooner the better,” Dr. Wingate said. “Tomorrow.”

  “Not tomorrow,” Emma said. All heads turned to look at her. “Not until after this weekend.” She laced her fingers through Jon-Paul’s.

  Jon-Paul said, “We’re getting married this Saturday. Right here in this room, and you’re all invited. We’ve already gotten our license and our wedding clothes and lined up a minister.”

  “Janie and Heather will be bridesmaids,” Emma said before anyone else could speak. She looked straight into Raina’s eyes. “And I want my sister to be my maid of honor.”

  nineteen

  THE ROOM erupted—everyone spoke at once. Emma and Jon-Paul held on to each other and calmly waited until the uproar subsided. Raina was the only one smiling at them, the only one flushed with excitement. Their decision made perfect sense to her.

  “Emma, be reasonable,” Dr. Wingate said, his voice rising above all the others. “We’ve already waited longer than we should have. Your donor’s here. Don’t put this off.”

  “I am being reasonable. It’s my life and this is what I want.”

  “I want Emma to be my wife before the transplant,” Jon-Paul added. “I can’t let go of her any other way.”

  Helen leaned forward over the foot of the bed. “Please wait until after you’re well, darling. We’ll throw you the biggest church wedding ever—”

  “I don’t want to wait, Mother. I want to go into this married to Jon-Paul. I know what I’m doing.”

  Raina understood completely. If it had been her and Hunter …

  “If you’ll tell me about the other bridesmaids’ dresses, Raina and I will do our best to find something suitable by Saturday,” Vicki said, surprising Raina.

  Helen turned on Vicki. “Don’t encourage this! Who do you think you are?”

  “I’m her mother, just like you. It’s what she wants. Let her have it.”

  Carl took his wife’s arm and spoke soothingly. “It’s all right, Helen. No sense causing hard feelings. We can throw the big church wedding later.”

  Emma looked at her mother, her eyes misty. “You go buy a pretty dress too, Mom. You’re the mother of the bride and I want you to be beautiful. And to be happy for us.”

  Dr. Wingate closed Emma’s thick medical file. “Look, I know when to fold. No one can override a woman who’s set her mind on something she wants.” His humor eased the tension in the room. “But just a minimum of people in the room, Emma. And I’m declaring myself the best man.”

  Jon-Paul grinned and nodded.

  “And everyone wears a mask. It would be a disaster if you caught anything,” Dr. Wingate said, looking at Emma.

  “I’ll be good,” Emma said, flashing him a hundred-watt smile.

  Dr. Wingate shook his head in resignation. “Shall I talk to the hospital pastry chef about baking a cake for you?”

  “It sounds so romantic,” Holly said to Raina on the phone with a sigh.

  Raina would have thought so too, if it all hadn’t been so deadly serious. “She’s pretty awesome. And so is her fiancé. The wedding’s going to be small and quick, especially if her doctor has any say. But if I were in her place, I’d marry first too. Have you talked to Hunter?”

  “Just last night. He was pretty surprised to hear you were in D.C.”

  “I never told him about Emma being my sister. Every e-mail I wrote to him sounded like a soap opera, so I didn’t send them. He doesn’t know.” Holly was strangely quiet, making Raina think that maybe Holly had told him, but at the moment she didn’t care and didn’t want to get into it. So what if Holly had told him?

  Holly cleared her throat. “So you’re going to be the maid of honor. That’s neat.”

  “Emma gave Mom a picture of the bridesmaid dress and we’re going shopping. The wedding’s at three on Saturday afternoon, so we have a couple of days to find something.”

  “It must be weird seeing her, knowing she’s your sister.”

  “It’s weird, all right. How’s Kathleen?” Raina changed the subject. “Will you tell her hi for me? Tell her that I miss the two of you a lot?”

  “I’ll tell her.”

  “And how are things at the hospital?”

  “Everyone misses you. Betsy and Sierra send big hugs.”

  Raina thought of the adorable newborns. There would be a whole new crop by now; the turnover in the nursery was rapid and constant. And she thought of Annie. The memory made her sad but all the more determined to help her sister.

  Just then, Vicki walked out of the bathroom putting on earrings and motioned for Raina to hang up. “Holly, I have to go,” Raina said.
“We’re heading to the mall. Wish me luck.”

  “You’ve got it, girlfriend—fashion colors for the spring are pink and lime green, and chocolate brown too,” Holly said in one fast sentence. “In case you wanted to know.”

  Raina smiled. “Thanks for the info.” She tucked her cell phone into her purse and stood. “I’m ready.”

  “Put on your coat. It’s thirty degrees outside. You don’t need to get sick before your surgery.”

  Raina bristled and started to snap at her mother, but she realized Vicki was right. She couldn’t get sick and jeopardize Emma’s chances. She grabbed her coat and scarf.

  Despite the cold, bleak February weather, the department stores were awash in bright, filmy spring fashions, giving shoppers hope that winter’s end was imminent instead of more than a month away. Armed with the picture and Holly’s advice, Raina was able to find appropriate styles and colors on the racks. Price didn’t appear to matter to Vicki, who let Raina try on everything that appealed to her. The salespeople, eager to help, showed off dresses that Raina would never have worn anyplace. In the end, she and Vicki settled on a lovely float of pale pink georgette strewn with soft ivory-colored dots, and with an empire waist. “You look like cotton candy,” the saleswoman said, admiring Raina in the dressing room area. “Pearls would be nice with the dress.”

  Vicki said, “I have pearls.”

  “I’m wearing the heart necklace Hunter gave me,” Raina announced coolly, ignoring her mother’s offer and ending the discussion.

  When they went to the hospital, she took the dress for Emma’s approval. “Perfect,” her sister said. Minutes later, Janie and Heather came through the doorway and Emma made introductions.

  “Wow,” said the very pregnant Janie. “You two are spitting images of each other.”

  “Emma’s hair’s darker,” Heather said.

  “When I have hair,” Emma said, making them all giggle.

  Raina listened as Emma and her friends talked about the wedding, and even though they were in their mid-twenties and married, they reminded Raina of Kathleen and Holly, making her wonder if she and Kathleen and Holly would still be friends in ten years. A wave of homesickness washed over her. Her life back in Tampa seemed far away, almost otherworldly, and the drama of high school term papers, test scores, basketball contests, upcoming dances, parties and who was dating whom seemed irrelevant. This place was the only real one to her now. Her sister’s life, the wedding, the harvesting of her bone marrow formed the epicenter of Raina’s universe.

  She was grateful that the hotel had a pool and an exercise room. She spent every possible minute in those two places when she wasn’t at the hospital. Anything was better than being cooped up with her mother in their room. They still weren’t talking much because for the first time in Raina’s life, she didn’t have anything to say to Vicki. She hurt inside. Her heart felt as if it had been scraped and laid raw. How had Vicki allowed the years to slip by without telling Raina the truth? Raina told Emma about Tampa, Hunter and school—but she really wanted to tell her about their father and the fact that they were truly sisters.

  “It’s your story, Raina, not hers,” Vicki said curtly the one time Raina mentioned it to her mother.

  “You shouldn’t keep it from her. She should know about him.”

  “She has a father in Carl. Why burden her with another? Besides, she has enough to think about at the moment.”

  Raina backed off, but she knew that one day when this was all over, she would tell Emma about Dustin St. James.

  On Saturday, Raina and Vicki ate lunch in their room while Raina channel-surfed and watched time crawl by on the bedside clock. Two hours before the wedding, there was a knock on their door. Raina leaped to answer it.

  “Don’t! What are you thinking? Never open the door until you know who’s knocking. Look through the peephole first.”

  Vicki’s irritation scraped across Raina’s nerves. She peeked through the hole that gave a fish-eye view of the hallway, let out a squeal and jerked open the door.

  “Surprise!” Holly and Kathleen chimed in unison. Evelyn, Holly’s mother, stood behind them, waving.

  The three friends rushed to hug each other. Raina pulled Holly and Kathleen inside the room. “How did you get here?”

  “We drove.”

  “All the way from Tampa?”

  Evelyn nodded. “It’s a twenty-hour trip, if anyone ever asks. We started early yesterday. Kathleen and I did the driving. Actually,” she added dryly, “I brought them to keep Holly from stealing the car and coming on her own.”

  “It was a plan.” Holly grinned. “You didn’t think we’d let you go through this all by yourselves, did you?”

  Evelyn looked at Vicki. “Plus I figured you might need some company.” The two women held a silent conversation with their eyes, as only women can.

  “Thank you,” Vicki said, embracing Evelyn.

  Kathleen added, “Mom wanted me to come, but she couldn’t. She said it meant the world to her when everybody showed up before her surgery last year. So we ditched our classes and here we are.”

  “Didn’t want to miss out on anything,” Holly said, bouncing on one of the king-sized beds.

  “We have our own room upstairs,” Evelyn said. “They brought plenty of schoolwork to do, so you won’t be tripping over us. We thought we’d stay through Raina’s surgery.”

  Raina almost wept with gratitude.

  “That would be wonderful,” Vicki said. “I know things will go well, but still it’s nice to have friends with us.”

  Raina went to the closet. “Come see my dress for the wedding.”

  “You can’t come to the ceremony,” Vicki said to the others, almost apologetically.

  “We know. We’ll wait here and we’ll do dinner, maybe a movie when you come back.” Evelyn kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes in the carpet.

  Holly and Kathleen looked at Raina and in unison shouted, “Heated pool!”

  Evelyn rolled her eyes. “These three are inseparable. You’d think I’d be used to it after all these years.”

  Raina caught sight of the clock. “I’d better get dressed.”

  “You can come up to Emma’s floor with us,” Vicki said quickly. “Meet Emma’s parents and fiancé. She’s a pretty special girl.”

  “I don’t doubt it,” Evelyn said. “I know her mother and sister. They’re both pretty special too.”

  twenty

  EMMA’S HALLWAY had been turned into a wedding chapel by the nurses. White crepe paper hung in streamers from ceiling to floor. Large white and silver paper wedding bells were strung across the entrance to her room. In a spacious private waiting room, a small reception had been arranged. A table was spread with a white cloth and held a two-tiered wedding cake, bowls of nuts and mints, cans of sodas and a big pot of coffee. Music played in the background. Baskets of silk flowers filled the occasional tables. “How beautiful!” Evelyn exclaimed as they entered the room.

  A number of guests were already gathered, and all turned when Raina came inside. For a moment no one spoke; then a woman said, “For a minute, I thought you were Emma … you look so much alike.”

  Raina smiled self-consciously and went to stand beside Janie and Heather, dressed in their long mauve gowns. Kathleen and Holly tagged along and Raina introduced them around. Janie handed Raina a small silk bouquet. “She can’t have real flowers today. The water can breed germs; silk is safer.”

  Heather said, “Janie and I had them specially made up for all of us.”

  Dr. Wingate swept into the room with Jon-Paul, causing Holly to whisper, “He’s cute.”

  “Which one?” Raina whispered back.

  “Both of them,” Holly said, making Kathleen jab her with an elbow.

  “Listen up,” Dr. Wingate said. “Only the principals are allowed in the room. Jon-Paul’s set up a video camera, so the rest of you can watch on the closed-circuit TV.” He gestured toward a big-screen television on the far side of the
room. “There’s a camera in here too, and Emma will be able to visit with all of you after the ceremony. Just stand in front of the camera and wave, and she’ll see you on the TV set in her room.”

  Raina spied a camera high on the wall in the corner near the table.

  “Are we ready?” Everyone murmured, and Dr. Wingate stood in the doorway. He passed out surgical masks to Emma’s parents, the bridesmaids and Raina. Raina tied hers around her mouth and nose expertly, for she’d worn masks many times when handling the more fragile newborns. “You too, Mrs. St. James,” Dr. Wingate said.

  Vicki looked surprised. “Are you sure?”

  “I have a list from the bride,” Dr. Wingate said, patting his breast pocket and smiling.

  They walked down the hall to Emma’s room. A minister stood waiting just outside the door. He also wore a mask. Dr. Wingate opened the door and let everyone pass him, single file.

  In the center of the room, sitting in a wheelchair, gowned in white and wearing a white satin surgical mask across her mouth and nose, Emma waited. An IV pole on the side of the chair held a bag of clear fluid. The tubing looped to the needle taped to her arm. She wore lace gloves and held a gorgeous cascade of silk orchids, calla lilies and satin ribbon that spilled onto her lap. Her head was covered with a crown of tulle, pulled back to expose her beautiful eyes. White satin slippers peeked from beneath the hem of her gown.

  Raina’s eyes grew misty and she heard Helen stifle a sob. Janie and Heather took their positions on Emma’s left, leaving room for Raina to stand beside the chair. Jon-Paul came quickly to stand on the other side. The minister took his place in front of them both, and Dr. Wingate stepped back to join Emma’s parents and Vicki.

  Raina had a perfect view. What she saw was a look of pure love in Jon-Paul’s eyes, a look of pure happiness in Emma’s.

  “Who gives this woman to this man?” the minister asked.

  “Her mother and I,” Carl answered from his place near the door.

  Raina’s hands trembled and her throat closed up as she heard Emma and Jon-Paul repeat their vows. “Till death do us part …” The words took on a powerful meaning for her. Most couples married in glowing health, expecting to stay healthy well into old age. Emma and Jon-Paul had no such illusions. Dr. Wingate handed Jon-Paul the wedding band, and he slipped it onto Emma’s gloved finger with a promise to cherish her forever. The simple band of gold sparkled more beautifully than any diamond.