by Frank, Ella
Look at him a little closer… That could only be interpreted one way as far as I was concerned, and the fact that I was even entertaining the thought was unbelievable. Because for that to actually be true would mean Laurel had lied to me for well over a decade.
It would mean that she had kept something as monumental as a child from me. And the girl I knew would never do something like that. Something so selfish, something so cruel. But then again, she was no longer the girl I knew, was she?
Laurel was an adult now. A mother. She was a complete and utter stranger to me, and that was almost as shocking as everything else running through my mind. Here I’d been chasing ghosts, chasing memories from the past, and it was now blatantly obvious that those things no longer existed. At least not in any form that I remembered.
I stared at the clock in the suite and watched as the second hand made its slow climb up to twelve. It had just turned six, and I was trying to convince myself that it wasn’t too early to track Laurel down.
I wanted to talk to her. To have her clear up these crazy thoughts I’d been having all night, because maybe that was all they were—crazy thoughts. Ryan was probably talking out of his ass. Seeing things that weren’t actually there. But I couldn’t help the niggling thought in the back of my head: What if he’s not?
Sick and tired of playing this guessing game, I grabbed my wallet and stuffed it in my back pocket. The best way to clear this up was to confront it head-on. Then I could put these insane theories behind me and move the hell on.
I gave myself a once-over in the mirror and ran a hand through my still-damp hair. I looked exactly how I felt, tired and hungover. But there was no helping that, not even the shower I’d stood under for a good twenty minutes. I’d have to be sure to give Willa an extra-big tip for the hot water I’d used.
I opened the door to my suite carefully and slowly stepped outside. A quick look down the hall told me the coast was clear as I made my way toward the stairs. I was just about home free when the front door opened and Willa stepped inside carrying a basket of freshly cut flowers.
My feet froze and I gripped the banister to keep myself steady, and for a split second I wondered if I had time to turn around and head back upstairs.
It turned out I didn’t.
“Good morning, Noah. You’re up early considering the, uh, night you had.”
The smile Willa flashed was friendly and good-natured, and it was difficult to do anything other than return it.
“Morning. And yeah, the head’s a little sore, but that’s what they made aspirin for, right? I wanted to get an early start.”
Willa glanced at the clock in the main foyer and then back to me. “Early is right. I know Ryan is always up at the crack of dawn, but I figured the fancy CEO would be able to roll in whenever he wanted.”
“I’ve got, um, lots to learn over there as the newbie. CEO or not. The few extra hours in the morning always helps.”
Willa frowned, likely thinking that if that was the truth, why was today the first time I’d left before seven thirty?
Too polite to ask me, though, she gestured over her shoulder and said, “Would you like me to get you some coffee to go?”
I shook my head. “Uh, no. That’s fine. I’ll just make some over at the winery. You have a good day. I’ll see you later.”
Willa opened her mouth like she was going to say something else, but at the last second waved instead. “Thanks. You have a good day too.”
“Will do.” I rushed out of there as fast as my legs would carry me, and once I was in the car, I let out a sigh.
Shit. I needed to get it together and call my mom to somehow get Laurel’s address without raising suspicions. She’d be up, she always was by five, so I turned on the car and waited for the phone to connect. Once it did, I hit the winery’s number, and a few seconds later heard, “Good morning.”
“Hey, Mom, good morning.”
“Noah?”
“Yeah. Sorry for calling so early.”
“No, no. It’s okay. I’m just shocked you’re awake. You never were the early riser out of the four of you.”
That was definitely true. I’d fought tooth and nail for every last second of sleep I could get as a teenager, and not much had changed as an adult. The only reason I was up this early now was because I literally couldn’t sleep.
“I know, but, um…” Think Noah, think. “I said I would pick up Laurel before work and head to the farmers’ market first thing. We wanted to get some new…produce, to try with some of the menu today.”
What? God. I was such a bad fucking liar.
“That’s a wonderful idea. Oh, and while you’re there, could you pick me up a couple of big pots of petunias for the front door? Will they fit in your trunk?”
Good one, idiot. Now what are you gonna do? “Sure. I’ll see what I can do. But, uh, Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I need Laurel’s address. She forgot to give it to me, and I’ve never been there before.”
“Oh, of course. Let me get it for you.”
She rattled it off to me, and once I had it in my GPS, I thanked her and ended the call.
Willow Lane… That sounded familiar, but, not quite able to pinpoint it, I followed the directions. I arrived around fifteen minutes later, and as I made my way down the street, it finally hit me.
The old craftsman. The house at the end of the street. The one that Laurel had always said she’d one day own. I pulled up outside the front of it, and memories of our afternoons down here under the oak trees flooded back in.
Sweet kisses and study time, and days spent in the warm summer sun, as the two of us dreamed of a future that was never meant to be…
Jesus, she lived here?
My chest tightened, and that familiar ache over what could’ve been returned, as I scanned the familiar surroundings and shoved open my car door. The place looked much the same with its wraparound porch and two stories. It’d had had a paint job and several repairs since I’d last seen it, but other than that, it bore a striking resemblance to the picture in my mind.
Not about to get sidetracked, though, I headed for the front door, determined to get to the bottom of the questions plaguing me. I walked up the couple steps to the porch and noticed a pair of men’s boots and sneakers by the mat, along with what I assumed were Laurel’s Converse. It was weird to see, and I was once again hit with the cold, hard fact that Laurel was a mother.
I raised my hand, just about to knock, when the front door was pulled open and I found myself face to face with the boy—or man—who owned that set of boots.
Seemingly as shocked by my appearance as I was by his, the guy blinked a couple of times and just stood there. He was as tall as I was, with hair the color of Laurel’s, and as he looked me over, the blood began to rush around my head, because the eyes that finally locked with mine were identical to the ones that I’d looked at in the mirror this morning.
“Hi,” he said, and I knew I needed to pull my shit together, and fast, or risk looking like a total fucking weirdo.
“Hi. I’m looking for—”
“My mom?”
Something about the way he said that was both judgmental and protective.
“Uh, yeah. I know it’s early, but I thought I’d catch her before work.”
He eyed me closely, then crossed his arms over his chest. Protective was the exact right word. With that one simple move, he was telling me loud and clear that to get to her, I had to go through him.
“She’s not here.”
“Oh.” Well, shit. Where the hell had she gone? It was too early for her to have gone to work, and—
“Do you want to come in? I can text her.”
And warn her I was there? I wasn’t sure that was such a good idea.
“She left to try to find you this morning. She’ll want to talk to you.”
Before I could even register that he knew who I was, the kid turned and walked off into the house, leaving me to make the decisio
n on my own.
Stay or go…
I looked over my shoulder at my car and knew that was the easy way out of all of this. Just get in my car and leave. Hell, if I really wanted to, I could drive straight to the airport and be on a plane by noon. But when I looked to the open door in front of me, I knew I’d forever wonder what would’ve happened if I’d decided to walk through it.
With my decision made, I stepped inside the house and quietly closed the door behind me. As I moved out of the foyer and into the living room, I spotted the couches with pillows and throws facing a fireplace and TV, and had to hand it to Laurel. She’d created a home that felt like a warm embrace the second you stepped inside.
“I was making breakfast. Are you hungry?”
I quickly turned, feeling as though I was doing something I shouldn’t, and then I realized I hadn’t actually introduced myself yet.
Yeah, the guy knew who I was, that much was clear. But we were still circling each other with no names or formal introduction.
Trying to act like the adult in the house, I stepped forward and held my hand out. “I’m Noah, by the way.”
He looked at my hand and then reached out and took it. “I know who you are. I’m Jake.”
When we let go, we slipped our hands into our pockets at the same time and froze, and that rush of blood and ringing in my ears started up again.
Shit. Holy fucking shit. Ryan’s right. But that means—
“So you want some breakfast?”
I blinked several times and could feel my heart pounding a million miles an hour. Fuck, at this rate I might just have a heart attack.
How could this be happening? How could it be…real?
“The kitchen’s this way,” Jake said, and then walked off down the hall, and as I watched him go, I could barely wrap my head around what I was finally realizing.
Laurel had a son, and so, apparently, did I.
33
Laurel
I DRUMMED MY fingers against the steering wheel as I stared at the front door of Wilhelmina’s, and for the first time ever I was nervous to go inside. I’d been thinking about this all night, ever since Jake and I returned home. But as I sat here now running through all of the things I wanted to say, I wondered if any of them were enough.
How did you tell a man that seventeen years ago you had his son but then made a deal where you couldn’t tell him about it? It was an impossible conversation. There were no words. None that would soften the blow, anyway.
I closed my eyes and thought of the conversation I’d had yesterday with Jake. He’d been pretty quiet when we got home, still processing all that he’d learned. But I could tell his curiosity was starting to get the better of him when he began to ask some questions.
How did you two meet? What was Noah like as a kid? Am I like him in any way?
I’d answered every question and then some, and my only hope now was that, after the initial shock and anger he would no doubt feel, Noah somehow managed to find a way to accept Jake and eventually meet him. After all, this was my doing, not Jake’s, and he shouldn’t be punished for that.
With newfound determination, I shoved open the car door and made my way up the front steps, and the second I stepped inside, I was bombarded with the delicious aroma of baked goods. I wasn’t here for comfort food, however, even if the thought of a freshly made cinnamon roll sounded like heaven right now.
A quick look at the check-in desk told me that Willa must still be in the kitchen. So I snuck over, and was about to “hack in” and get Noah’s room number, when the sound of someone clearing their throat made me snatch my hands away from the keyboard.
“Huh. I didn’t know you were helping out here this morning. Is the winery not open? Or are you just looking to make a little extra cash this month?”
I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. Willa knew good and well what I was looking for. I’d bet my actual next check on it.
“Miss? Excuse me, miss? Could you please tell me how many rooms are still left this weekend?”
“Would you cut it out?”
“I’d really like a room with a view, or maybe one that’s next door to the newest Chamberlin brother to come into town.” Willa tapped the side of her cheek. “What’s his name again?”
I arched an eyebrow. “Okay, you win. Can you please tell me which suite Noah’s in?”
“I can, but he’s not in there.” She paused and then frowned. “Actually, I’m kind of surprised he managed to drag himself off to work already. He was hammered last night.”
“Hammered? As in drunk?”
“As in Ryan and I had to go and pick him up midway through Monopoly, and you know how I get about leaving my properties unattended.”
I did—she was fiercely protective about her purchases. Especially if she owned Boardwalk.
“Did he, um, say why he was drinking?”
“Yeah,” Willa said with a smile. “Apparently you having a kid flipped his oh shit switch, and, you know, he decided to numb it with some whiskey. I’m sure he’s processed it by now, but boy was he shocked. You know how some guys get.”
“Right.” I pressed my fingers to my forehead and tried to ease the throbbing headache I could feel coming on. If Noah had been that upset by just the idea of me and Jake, I couldn’t begin to imagine his reaction when he found out the rest of it.
“I’ve, uh…” I pointed to the front door and came out from behind the desk in a kind of daze. “I’ve got to go.”
“Laurel?” All of the humor and sarcasm from earlier had left Willa’s voice as she came over to me and took my hands in hers. “Laurel? Are you okay?”
My breathing began to come a little faster, and her living room began to spin as the last few days caught up with me and all my thoughts blurred into one.
“Maybe you should come and sit down.”
I shook my head. “No. I need to go. I need to go and find Noah.”
“I don’t think you should be driving anywhere right now. I want you to sit down and let me get you a drink of water and some ice. Then, if I feel like you’re okay, I’ll let you go.”
Okay, fair point. I probably shouldn’t be driving if things were spinning around my head. I took a seat and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself, and by the time she got back, I felt a little better.
Willa held out the water, and I took it without argument, then she sat down beside me. “Want to tell me what that was all about?”
I swallowed and nodded. “I do. But I can’t.”
Willa narrowed her eyes. “At least tell me you’re okay.”
“Yes.”
“This has to do with Noah, right? If it’s about the way he acted over Jake—”
“It’s not. I mean, it is, but not for the reasons you think.” I stood up, knowing I needed to leave before I said something else. “Thank you. I feel much better now. I’m good to drive.”
Willa stood and took the glass from me. “Are you sure? Because you can stay as long as you like.”
“I’m fine. I promise.” I squeezed one of her hands then made my way across the room for the front door.
“Laurel?”
“Yes?” I looked back to see Willa watching me with a curious expression on her face.
“Whatever the reason is, he’ll come around about Jake.”
My heart just about stopped.
Did she…? Could she…?
No, there was no way she knew what I had to say to Noah. She just meant he’d understand about the child I’d had not long after he left. If only that was it.
With a final wave, I headed out to my car. When I slid inside, I put in a call to the winery. Maybe I could get him on the phone before I arrived. Ask him to meet me somewhere more private.
But when the phone connected, it wasn’t Noah who answered, but his mother.
“Emily? Hi.” Damn it. “It’s Laurel here, and I was, um, wondering if Noah was already in yet? He wanted to try some…new cheese with one of the Chardonnays, and I hea
rd they had some over at the deli that just opened up.”
I dropped my face in my palm and silently cursed my bad luck. Why did I feel the need to come up with that horrible lie?
“New cheese?”
Oh God, this was ridiculous. “Yes, uh, is he there? I can’t remember the name.”
“Actually, no. You two must’ve just crossed paths. He told me he was going to your place this morning so the two of you could go to the local farmers’ market.”
He did? So that meant he was— Oh shit.
“I’ll text you over his cell number. That way you can call and make sure you don’t miss each other again.”
“That’d be great, Emily. Thanks.”
I ended the call, and not a second later a text from Jake popped up: Noah’s here.
I didn’t bother waiting for Noah’s cell number. Hell no. I stepped on the gas and headed home. I made it there in record time, and when I turned down the street and saw his rental parked outside my house, my stomach dropped. Noah was inside somewhere with Jake, and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.
I pulled in behind his vehicle and climbed out on unsteady legs, then, like some sort of weirdo creeper, I decided to go around to the back door and let myself in. I was making my way along the balcony, and up the side of the house, when I spotted them through the kitchen window. And the sight was enough to stop me in my tracks.
There, sitting at my kitchen table, were father and son for the first time ever. My breath got caught somewhere in the back of my throat and my heart swelled with pride and, yes, love.
The first thing I noticed was just how awkward they both looked. Noah was at one end and Jake at the other, and both of them had their arms crossed over their wide chests. The second thing was that they were the exact same height, even sitting down. They were even slumped in a similar fashion as they faced off.
Jake’s fair hair was in complete contrast to Noah’s, but the eyes? Seeing the two of them like this—so close and yet so clearly wary of the other—the resemblance was striking.
I stood there for a minute watching the two of them engage in a stilted conversation, and it wasn’t until my cheeks became damp that I realized I was crying.