“What!”
“Two guys came up to me at the Retribution stall and struck up a conversation. They are headed for one of the food stands, and we’re invited to join them.”
“Bloody hell, Beth. I leave you alone for half an hour and this is what happens.”
“I know, amazing. It’s like a dream come true.”
“Lead on. Take me to meet your suitors.”
“Ha, I don’t know about suitors. They seem nice enough and it’s someone new to chat to. Let’s go.”
The girls made a beeline for the food stall. They barely had to consult their map, drawn by the heady smell of frying beef burger, before they reached their target. Alex spotted them and waved furiously to attract their attention. Beth made the introductions before they ordered food and then sat down to eat.
“I didn’t see you at the Retribution stand,” Martin said to Lucy.
“Oh, no. That’s Beth’s thing. I collect graphic novels by a couple of particular authors and one of them is here. He signed my book for me, look.”
Martin managed a quick glance at the message in the front of the book and then turned to focus on Beth. Alex was kinder, and asked Lucy a few questions about the book and what other novels she liked.
“Do you live near here?” Martin asked.
“Not far, it was about half an hour’s drive,” Beth answered.
“Oh, that’s good. Alex and I live quite close. People come to these things from all over the country. Fanatics, a lot of them. Dress up in all the gear, spend a fortune on memorabilia, and only have one topic of conversation. I like stuff, but I’m not obsessed with one thing. I like lots of different books, programmes, films.”
“Yes, I have my favourite, Retribution, but I don’t just watch that show.”
“Did you drive, or your friend? I drove us here. I’ve got a new car, my parents bought it for my birthday. I’m very lucky. That’s what Alex keeps telling me, don’t you? I could drive over and see you sometime if you like.”
Aware that she was staring at Martin with her mouth open, Beth managed to gather her wits and form an answer. “Yes, that would be great.”
As Martin and her exchanged phone numbers, Alex and Lucy looked on. They had chatted and got on well, but there was no budding romance. Two good-looking people, Beth could not imagine why they didn’t pair up.
Martin inferred that he had something terribly important to do and he dragged Alex off. Lucy had a slight frown as she watched them go. Beth didn’t ask about it. She was probably disappointed that Alex hadn’t been interested in her. It would be unkind to make a thing of it, so she didn’t make Martin and Alex her topic of conversation when they set off for home. There was plenty to talk about, having attended their first comic con.
Chapter 43
“I don’t understand you at all.” Lucy was perplexed by her friend.
“What do you mean?” Beth was bewildered by Lucy’s words.
“You had the choice between those two guys. Alex, all cheekbones and style, and Martin, dumpy and ordinary. Which one did you choose? Martin. What was it about him that you preferred?”
“I had the choice between them? Alex didn’t make any kind of move. Anyway, I would have chosen Martin because he was more, well, normal.”
“No, I still don’t get it. Is it about their characters or their looks?”
“I’ve told you about my dad, haven’t I?”
“You told me that he murdered your mum and went on the run.”
“Okay. Let me tell you a bit more about Timothy Travers.”
Lucy had often wanted to ask a whole load of questions. Beth had only grudgingly revealed snippets of her family history. It had been seen as a taboo subject. Now she waited to hear more details.
“My dad… he was, or is, a handsome man. Thick, dark, wavy hair. Sparkling blue eyes. My mum was slim, too thin really, blond and glamorous. They chose each other wholly on looks. This was a very bad idea.”
The violence within the marriage and the claustrophobia of the family home were described. Nana’s role as the judgmental parent was mentioned. It painted a picture of a dismal childhood for Beth.
“Did your Nan tell you what to eat and what to wear?”
“Yes, a bit. She wasn’t quite as rabid with me. My mum was very beautiful and I am not. I think she thought it would be a waste of time putting all her energy into what I looked like. After an attempt to tame my hair and regulate my food she just gave up. And don’t do the whole ‘but you are pretty’ thing. I’m quite happy with my appearance. Being good-looking wasn’t a positive thing for either of my parents.”
“So, in essence, you think that all good-looking people are somehow deeply flawed and that is why you would have rejected Alex.”
“Pretty much. Probably not the best choice of words there, but you know what I mean. My dad was arrogant and entitled. He thought that he could get anything he wanted because he could charm people. That was why he was a successful salesman.”
“But at one point he was simply your dad. All this theory has come later. You’ve had too much time to think about what happened with your parents, that’s why you’ve come up with this bizarre theory.”
“Even at the age of ten, I knew there was something wrong in our house. You’re right, time and maturity have given me a chance to realise what he was. And my mum wasn’t much better. So wrapped up in herself, what she weighed, what she was wearing, that she didn’t have a lot of time for me.”
“Okay, now I’m going to be brutally honest with you.”
“Go ahead.”
“Martin may look ordinary, but he strikes me as pushy and opinionated. Alex looks good, but he has by far the better character. Modest, friendly and very obviously into you.”
“Thank you, Lucy. I do appreciate that you are looking out for me, I really do. You might even be right. I’m going to go out with Martin and see how it goes. I have to be the one to choose and, if it is a mistake, then I can pull the plug. I’ll bear in mind what you’ve said.”
“I understand. Report in on a regular basis. Each date must be discussed with me, you understand?”
“Yes. I will now think of you as my relationship counsellor.”
“Excellent.”
Beth thought a lot about what her friend had said. Even as she had given Martin her phone number, a hint of unease had crept in. Registering the smug look of triumph on Martin’s face as he turned to his friend. Had he known that Alex liked her and that was why he was so pleased with himself? A message from Martin had confirmed that he was picking her up at eight. Beth would soon find out if Lucy was right.
Chapter 44
It was the fourth date. Beth had stubbornly continued to see Martin despite some misgivings. It was high time that she had a good think about whether he was suitable. Arriving on time – he was good at timekeeping – Beth left her house and climbed into the practically new car he drove. A gift from his parents. He had told her that every time.
“I thought we would go and see that film about the Second World War. It’s had great reviews.” Martin had made up his mind.
“What else is on at the moment?” Beth asked.
“Nothing that I fancied seeing. We’ll go with my suggestion. There’s a pizza place next door to the cinema, we can get something to eat there afterwards if you like.”
That meant they were going for pizza, after Beth had watched a film that she didn’t want to see. The “if you like” was redundant. Managing a smile, Beth nodded and they set off into town. At least once they were in the cinema Martin would not be talking. He did like the sound of his own voice.
Beth had not had a boyfriend before. It was nice when she was with other people to talk about her other half. “Martin said this”, “Martin did that”, was how most of her conversations now started. It was at home, alone, when her doubts came to the surface. Trying to put a positive spin on her dates was difficult. And from the look on Lucy’s face, she wasn’t fooling anyone.
/> “I enjoyed that film, didn’t you?” Martin never waited for an answer, and ploughed on. “I think there were a few historical inaccuracies. When I get home, I’m going to look up a few things on the internet. The uniforms seemed to be okay, it was the ordnance. Do you know what that means?”
“Ordnance? Yes, I do.”
“Yes, whatever. Anyway, I’m going to check out the tanks and guns.”
Sat eating a pizza, Beth studied Martin. He was extremely confident for a man who was average looking at best. This, she decided, was because his family had money. He had a nice car, holidays in the family’s villa in Portugal, anything he asked for it would seem. The best word to describe him was entitled.
The first two dates had been not bad. The getting to know each other stage had been okay. Beth had learned a lot more about Martin than he had about her. He had told her a lot about him and asked very little about her. Not wanting to go into her mother’s murder meant that she hadn’t minded when he monopolised the conversation.
One thing they had not spoken about was the reason they had met. Their mutual appreciation of Retribution. Beth raised the subject when Martin stopped to draw breath.
“Meeting at the Retribution stand was good. It gave us something in common right from the start.”
“To be honest, Alex was the one who dragged me there. He loves that corny old programme. I prefer…”
Beth wasn’t listening. He might as well have punched her in the face. The pizza on her plate remained untouched and her only contribution to their chat was nodding when it seemed appropriate. Oh God. He would want to kiss her at the end of the evening, and the thought of that made her feel ill.
Martin had never asked about Beth’s family. He picked her up from a house and had probably assumed that she lived there with her parents. He had never asked to go inside, but had suggested that they go to his place. At first, she had considered it, but now that she had learned he was a fraud, at least in her eyes, there was no way she would sleep with him.
“Are you going to come back to my place? It’s Saturday tomorrow, so you don’t have to go to college. You could stay over.” Martin was smiling. To Beth it looked like a leer.
“No, I have to get home. Maybe next time.”
There wasn’t going to be a next time, but it got her off the hook. When he lunged at her in the car, she let him kiss her, but extricated herself as soon as she could. It was a real relief to get into her house and shut the door behind her. Picking up her phone, she composed a message to Lucy.
“You were right. Martin is a rich, entitled bore. He doesn’t even really like Retribution. Ugh.”
Chapter 45
Lucy read Beth’s message and then punched the air. Although she had not seen Martin since the comic con, he had left a lasting bad impression. Having said her piece, Beth had to be left to decide for herself whether he was suitable. It had taken a few weeks, but the correct action had now been taken. Martin had been dumped.
With her help, the next day Beth composed a message and sent it to Martin. Saying that they were not well suited, Beth would not be seeing him anymore, but wished him the best. Retribution had been mentioned, of course. The discovery that he was not even a fan had been a factor in the breakup.
Imagining Martin reading that, Lucy smiled. He must have been completely baffled by the Retribution bit, and his massive ego would be severely bruised. Not broken, though. She knew the type and he would soon construct a narrative where it had all been Beth’s fault. Poor old Martin, he couldn’t bamboozle Beth. That girl had been through too much to fall for his patter.
That Beth had found her mother murdered – by her father, no less – and her grandmother dead, and could still be so level-headed, amazed Lucy. Cringing at some of her behaviour in the past, Lucy felt guilty. Everything from having a tantrum as a child when she couldn’t have a puppy, to the numerous times she had slammed a door as a teenager. How trivial those things were in comparison.
Theirs was a good friendship. Lucy had lived a relatively ordinary life with parents and two siblings. Beth’s relatives had been stripped away from her, and at seventeen she was all alone. There was Anna, of course, who had been a great friend and mentor, but a normal family life had been denied her.
The gaps in Beth’s knowledge about everyday things were filled in by Anna and Lucy. Anna was good on the practical stuff, but she was better at the ordinary family things. Despite having her parents until she was ten and then living with her grandmother, Beth had not experienced any sort of normality. The awkwardness was most noticeable in social situations. Like the first time Beth had gone to Lucy’s for dinner.
Standing on the doorstep, hesitating before crossing the threshold, Beth had been unsure of what to do. Lucy had walked her through the whole occasion.
“Come in.” Lucy took her arm and pulled Beth in.
“Thanks. I phoned Anna and she said to bring flowers.”
The flowers were thrust at Lucy and then, when there was no suggestion of Beth moving, Lucy realised that she would need to be a guide.
“Give me your coat and then I’ll take you through to the kitchen. My mum and dad and brother and sister are there. I’ll introduce you. Give the flowers to my mum, and then relax. All you have to do then is eat the food and, if you like, join in the conversation.”
After a shaky start, Beth had managed a few words and had thanked the family effusively for inviting her. Having never spoken to her family about Beth’s history, her mother knew that something had affected her.
“She seemed nervous.” Lucy’s mother’s comment was a question.
“Oh, well, she’s had a hard time. Not an ideal family situation.” Lucy hoped that she would get away with the simple explanation, but her mother had the look. A querulous eyebrow, full concentration and a folding of the arms.
Sighing, Lucy related the story and watched as her mother’s mouth gaped wider as all the death was revealed. After taking in the horror of Beth’s life, many questions were asked. Lucy’s mother established that many of the usual aspects of growing up had been missed. Beth was not used to going to people’s houses. She had not attended parties or done the whole teenage thing.
“So, she’s never really been to friends’ houses or had friends over. Beth must come again in a couple of weeks. The more she visits, the easier it will be. I’m not saying we’re the perfect family example, but we are a lot more normal than she has ever been used to.”
Lucy would visit Beth at her home. The gradual transformation from her Nana’s flowery decor to something a bit calmer was helping Beth make the place her home. They made experimental meals together, not always successfully, and watched anything even vaguely sci-fi on the television. When Beth asked Lucy whether she wanted to move in, it was a no brainer.
Lucy was much closer to college and sharing a house with her best friend. They could do homework in the evening and go out together at the weekend. Whatever Beth had been through, Lucy was there now to help her.
Chapter 46
The management at the docks had been very understanding. They had given Tim time off to be with Caroline as she entered the final stage of her life. Now at a hospice, Caroline was being made as comfortable as possible in her last days. It was a peaceful place and the staff were so kind.
Any time now, Tim would have to make the call to Ryan, summoning him to his mother’s side for her final moments. Several times, Caroline had tried to talk to Tim about his future without her. Any attempt was cut short by a change of subject. He could not bear to think about when she was gone.
“I went to see a solicitor when I became ill. I know you don’t want to talk about this, but just listen.” Caroline talked slowly, catching her breath between each word. “Don’t give me that look, Hugh. This is important. I made a will.”
Standing up and pacing the room, Tim found it excruciating talking about money.
“Ryan is my priority, of course, but he will get money from his father too, later in h
is life. I have left some money for you. Ryan knows about it, understands, and has no complaints. The house will have to be sold, but you will be alright.”
“I haven’t even thought about what I will do, you know, later.”
“Well, I have. When I die, you will be sad, but then you must carry on. You have so much to give. Kindness, love, joy. It would be a shame to waste that.”
When he got home that night, Tim telephoned Ryan. It was time. Each day saw a deterioration in Caroline’s condition. Her beautiful face was grey and pinched. Three months since the chemotherapy had finished, she had just tufts of hair. The last three weeks had been spent in the hospice, which was a relief for them both. Tim had despaired as Caroline hardly ate a thing and constantly frowned in pain.
They had made the most of the good days. Meals out, a trip to a beach, a gentle stroll through beautiful gardens. Those were the things that Tim tried to focus on as he made the call to Ryan. Caroline’s son would arrive the next morning and head straight for the hospice. Tim poured himself a large brandy, hoping that it would help him get a few hours of sleep.
Caroline passed away the following afternoon. Ryan had sat with her, along with Tim, and her final hours had seen smiles, some laughter and a fair few tears. On increasing quantities of painkillers, she had drifted off to sleep and would never wake again. Tim and Ryan returned to the house and talked into the night.
There was a funeral. A small affair with Caroline’s work colleagues, old friends and Ryan and Tim. A man came and sat at the back of the crematorium. It was Caroline’s ex-husband, who had done the right thing far too late. There was a small gathering back at the house. Tim now had to think about what came next.
Ryan said that they would talk in a couple of weeks. Walking through the large house, Tim could not settle. What had once been his home was now just another place to live. Anxious to move out and get away from all the memories, he called Ryan after a week and asked to talk so that some decisions could be made.
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