“Oh Beth, your father murdered your mother, how horrible.” One of the aunts was hearing the tale of the killing for the first time.
“It was a long time ago.” Beth always tried to deflect their sympathy.
“Yes, yes, but time can only do so much to heal you. That type of thing stays with you for a lifetime.”
Alex once again came to her rescue. “Beth has coped with it very well. We don’t let it affect us.”
The hugs and condolences would start up again once they heard that her grandmother had died too.
“You found her body? Oh, you poor girl. Now you have no family. Well, we have enough to go around. We are your family now.”
The story of the murder and what had happened since had been honed by Beth. She had managed to get it down to a few short sentences. Mostly, people recognised the terse delivery and refrained from asking questions. The Panos family, however, were the exception. It took a while, but Beth gradually got used to talking about the killing.
It was tough, like aversion therapy. Having to repeat the details so many times made Beth even more inured to the events of her past. Not exactly able to laugh about it, she could shrug it off. A few weeks after the revelation, the Panos clan stopped treating her like a wounded animal and they got back to normal.
Nervous of any conflict, after hearing the rows between her father and mother, Beth realised that arguing didn’t necessarily equate to violence. Alex’s family would go from polite conversation to a loud row and back again within the space of a few minutes. They expressed themselves in a different way than she was used to. Alex witnessed her distress the first few times it happened.
“Are you alright?” Alex had followed Beth out of the room, leaving his shouting family behind.
“The arguments. They make me scared.”
“You are thinking about your parents’ rows. What they are doing is very different. No one has ever got physical in one of these disagreements, it’s just what a big family does. Well, what my family does.”
Barely flinching when they erupted now, Beth let them get on with it. Never tempted to join in, she could sit back and watch the drama without worrying for anyone’s safety. Luckily, Alex hadn’t inherited the arguing gene. There was hardly a cross word between him and Beth. She was very happy about that.
Nothing had been explicitly discussed, but everyone in their orbit knew that Beth and Alex were headed for marriage. Alex’s mother, Irene, had dropped several heavy hints. Living together was okay for now, and they would do it in their own good time. But Beth did have a look at the bridal shop when she walked down the high street and wonder.
Chapter 59
Lucy had announced that she was moving out to be nearer to her new job. The distances involved weren’t particularly big, and Beth wondered why she was choosing to go. It became apparent that she could see what Beth could not. Alex would move in with her soon and she didn’t want to get in the way.
As usual, Lucy had to spell it out to Beth.
“Why are you moving out? Your journey won’t be that much shorter,” Beth asked.
“It is time. I have loved living here with you, but things are changing.”
“What things?” Beth interrupted Lucy.
“Okay, we are changing. There will come a time, soon, when Alex and you will want to live together. I’m surprised that it hasn’t happened already. We will still see each other and be the best of friends, but I need to go so that you can take the next step with Alex.”
Blinking rapidly, Beth was at a loss for words. It sounded so simple when Lucy said it, but it was more complicated than that. First of all, she had to ask Alex if he wanted to move in. Was that a bit too bold?
“We’ve sort of talked about always being together. What do I do? Just ask him if he wants to move in with me?”
“Yes.”
“What, those words or more of a speech or something?”
“What do you think he will say if you ask him?”
“Well, he will say yes.”
“Then why complicate it?”
“Thanks Lucy. You always shove me in the right direction. What will happen when you are not here anymore?”
“I’ll let Alex do the shoving.”
They were in love, they saw each other all the time, and as Lucy said, it was the next step. Beth’s main worry was that she would not know what to do if he moved in. There had never been a normal family experience for her to refer to. How did it all work? There was only one way to find out.
The question was asked and Alex was delighted. His parents were fine with it and Beth had no one left to protest. When Alex actually moved in, he was helped by various family members, who all trooped through the home inspecting it and deciding what was needed to make it a proper home. Some of the gifts that subsequently turned up were gratefully received; others were put straight into the garage.
Beth had wondered if they would argue now that they were cohabiting. There weren’t many disagreements between them, but who knew how things might change. The spectre of her parents’ marriage hung over her for the first few months. Alex would look at her sometimes, searching as if he could see what was in her head. He would then tell her that everything would be alright.
Having settled into a routine and not descended into rowing, Beth created another problem for herself, pacing up and down of an evening until Alex came home from work. After so many people had left her, it was hard to imagine that he would not do the same. The sigh of relief and rapturous greeting when he came home gave Alex a sign that something was amiss.
“I love that you are so ecstatic when I come home each night. Like you are waiting by the door.”
“Don’t be silly, I’m just pleased to see you.”
“You are waiting by the door, aren’t you.”
“Sometimes.”
Alex stared at her and then raised his eyebrows. An explanation was required.
“I know it’s entirely my problem. I know it’s irrational, but I worry that you are going to go and not come back. My mum, my dad, Nana – you can see why I’m rather paranoid.”
“My favourite jeans are in this house. I’m always coming back. And those blue trainers, and—”
“Haha. I get it, I’ll work on my issues.”
“Good, because it will be cold in the hallway in the winter.”
Six months later, all the kinks had been worked out. No furious rows and Alex always came home. Beth was truly happy.
Chapter 60
They were young – Alex was twenty-five, Beth twenty-three – but why wait any longer? Alex had proposed and she had accepted. Already living together, it was the next logical step. The Panos family were jubilant. Any excuse for a party, the wedding would be a grand celebration. Beth soon realised that she would have to let go of the arrangements.
As she had told Alex that it should be a small wedding, he had raised his eyebrows as he nodded. That was the first inkling that it might not work out that way. Within days, the Panos family had taken over.
“I know it’s not what you wanted, but it was impossible to think we would get away with a small, quiet wedding,” Alex explained.
“I know. It’s like being King Canute on a beach. Nothing is stopping this tide. I have accepted that they will make it a big do, but there are things that I would like control of.”
“Of course. I’ll intervene to fight your cause when needed. Let’s discuss what is definitely wanted and what is unacceptable. If we get in early, we might be able to curb the excess.”
“I want Lucy as a bridesmaid.”
“Sure, but there are nieces who will want to be bridesmaids too.”
“How many are there? I lose count.”
“Five.”
“Oh God.”
“Who is going to give you away, one of my uncles?”
“No. I know it might be a bit controversial, but I’m adamant. I want Anna to give me away. She has been the nearest thing to family that I have. She has bee
n my mother and my father, my guide and counsellor. This will show her how much she means to me.”
“That, Beth, is a beautiful idea. Okay, no negotiation on that one. Anna it is.”
“I suppose that the catering is taken care of. Your dad will want to do that.”
“Yes, and we could suggest the restaurant as the venue. It will hold a lot of people, but not as many as they will want to invite. That will keep the numbers down a bit.”
“Good idea.”
It was exciting and a little daunting. Beth, for once, felt the lack of a family. No mother to go wedding dress shopping with her. No father to walk her down the aisle. Her side of the guest list was going to be tiny compared to Alex’s. It would certainly be a loud, joyful affair. There would be more than a hint of Greek influence, too.
Sad for a while, Beth consoled herself by imagining what her wedding would be like if her parents were there. Alex’s family would not know what to make of her mother, Alison. Nervy and waiflike, they would be forcing food on her from the moment they met. The laughter and noise would make her even more on edge.
Her father would have been more at home in this company. Handsome in a suit, his blue eyes twinkling at the ladies. Would there be an argument between her parents? As much as they tried to be on their best behaviour, there was no guarantee that they could keep the peace.
And Nana. Her parents would abdicate all responsibility, but she would be like a Rottweiler, growling and snapping as she fought for control. What bridal monstrosity would she have stuffed Beth into for the wedding? Was there a pastel shade insipid enough for the bridesmaids?
Lucy was her companion when she went out to buy her dress. Good, solid advice from a trusted friend. Between them they had a plan for the bridesmaids, too. Slate grey for Lucy and a softer dove grey for the myriad of smaller girls. Samples were found and then presented to Alex’s mum as a fait accompli.
The essentials were decided by Alex and Beth. The rest of the stuff was contracted out to various members of the Panos family. Menus were organised without any reference to the couple. Alex’s mother arranged all the seating. She was far better at knowing which people could sit together and who would be a volatile mix.
Anna was overcome and tearful when she was asked to give Beth away. Between sobs, she managed to say yes. Having calmed down after a cup of tea, she then panicked again about what she was going to say in her speech.
The juggernaut trundled on, bringing them nearer and nearer to the big day. Little responsibility was on Alex and Beth, so they had a relatively stress-free runup to the event. The real drama lay with the Panos family. Unsurprising, because they could make a drama out of any situation, let alone a wedding.
Chapter 61
Tim had worked at the port for over ten years. He had been given another promotion and his pay had increased. For most people that would have been a cause for celebration. The good fortune simply made him suspicious. The bad luck would plague him at some point – when would it strike?
The experiences of the last few years weighed heavily on him. Repeating the litany of those who he had known and lost, Tim began to see a pattern. Maybe this was the price he had to pay for killing Alison. Anyone who he grew close to would die. Alison – she was still on the list – Hugh, Caroline and Kathy. That was already three too many.
There was only one way to protect others. Tim must eschew any friendships or relationships. Not having felt particularly social lately, it was a small step to cut himself off completely. A week of self-imposed exile passed and he was miserable. He needed some companionship outside of work, so he got himself a dog.
The soft brown, white-faced whippet stared at him through the cage bars at the rescue centre. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, but a connection was made. Ringo licked Tim’s fingers and gave a little whine as he moved away. The formidable lady, who had told him all the rules about adopting a dog, seemed to think that a match had been made.
He lived in a flat with a garden. Yes, dogs were allowed. No, the animal would not be left alone all day. Many more checks were made and finally Ringo could leave with his new master. A good sniff around all the rooms, a tour of the garden, with regular stops to mark his territory, and then a hop up onto the sofa. Ringo looked like he had always lived there.
The dog accompanied Tim to work every day. Working outside a lot of the time, Ringo trotted next to him on most of his excursions. There was never any need for a lead. Where Tim went, the dog followed. Except when it was raining or very cold. Then Ringo stayed on his bed in the office.
All the staff loved the dog. Never noisy or snappy, his default position was rolling onto his back, ready for a tummy rub. Tim walked Ringo every evening, and at the weekends they went out into the country for adventures along footpaths and across fields. It was difficult to imagine what life had been like before the dog.
“Hi, Hugh. Hi, Ringo. Are you coming for a drink this evening?” Brad still made the request despite having been turned down dozens of times.
“No, thanks.”
“I know you go out with Ringo, but do you socialise at all now?”
“Lots of things have happened. Caroline, and then other stuff. I can’t go into it all, but I don’t really want to do much these days.”
“I worry about you, mate. We used to have a good laugh in the pub.”
“I’m okay. I go out for long walks with Ringo, that is enough.”
“If you ever want to talk, about the other stuff, you know I would be happy to listen.”
“I know, and I’m grateful. The other stuff, I wouldn’t know where to start. No, I can’t talk about that.” Looking at his feet as he spoke, Tim began to edge away.
“Before you go, I was going to tell everyone in the pub, but I’ll tell you now. I’m getting married.”
“Oh, that’s good. That’s very good.” Digging into his pocket and retrieving a £20 note, Tim handed it to Brad. “Have a drink on me.”
Turning away, Tim left before Brad could answer, Ringo walking at his heel. Brad was about to get married to his long-term girlfriend. There was no way Tim could be a part of that and risk them falling prey to his curse. The wedding invitation he received was placed on the mantlepiece, but he would not go. Brad did not understand, but it was for the best.
Brad tried talking to Tim about the wedding a few times, but it was useless. The invitation had been declined and nothing could persuade him to change his mind. Tim had to invent a better reason for his refusal, so he had alluded to plans for a marriage with Caroline being thwarted by her cancer. He could not face going to a wedding because of the feelings it would bring up.
Tim took some comfort from knowing that he was protecting people. Brad and his wife to be, Holly, were safer because he was not going to the wedding. He didn’t miss female company – well, not too much – having enjoyed such wonderful relationships with Caroline and Kathy. The thought that any new liaison might kill the person involved made celibacy an acceptable choice.
Working all day, alone with the dog the rest of the time, Tim became insular. The only outlet for his musings on the events of his life was Ringo. The dog couldn’t tell him that he was becoming moribund. Ringo couldn’t tell him to pull himself together and make some friends. He would crawl into Tim’s lap when he was particularly sad. That’s all he could do.
Going out to work and seeing his colleagues was all that stopped Tim from going insane. Focusing on his interactions, to make sure that they did not draw him too close to anyone, gave him impetus. Do his job, keep his distance, get home without anyone else around him dying.
Chapter 62
The day of the wedding had arrived. Beth sat in the back of a car with Anna. Her friend had chosen a jade green dress and a small matching hat. Beth had seen her in uniform and, later, as she rose up through the ranks, in dark trouser suits. This was a colourful departure from her normal attire.
Beth was in a cream dress. A few accents of lace, but mainly simple, clean-cu
t lines. Practical and uncomplicated had been her choice for many aspects of her life, and it was reflected in what she wore. Her thick, wavy hair was loose around her face. Any attempt to tame it over the years had never truly been successful and she didn’t want it pulled and teased into some uncomfortable over-the-top do.
The hairdresser had tried a few styles where her mane was twisted and pinned up. Beth had looked in the mirror and decided that each attempt looked like there had been an explosion on top of her head. One attempt had contained the chaos, but all the pins and hairspray had left her with a headache.
As they walked into the ceremony, the cacophony from the guests abated. Beth was wearing a beaming smile, partly because she had never known the Panos family be so quiet. Nerves took hold as she covered the few metres towards Alex. As soon as he caught hold of her hand, she knew everything was okay.
Lucy took her bouquet and then pushed and prodded the posse of bridesmaids onto chairs. That had gone better than any of them had expected. As the vows were exchanged, Alex and Beth could hear the sound of crying behind them. When they turned to leave, most of the women and a couple of the men were dabbing their eyes with tissues.
Taking a deep breath, Beth prepared to walk out with her husband. Scanning the guests, her fear was that somehow, her father would be amongst them. It was a stupid idea, but she searched anyway. Outside, the suspicion was forgotten and she could focus entirely on Alex. So far, so good.
It felt like a hundred photos were taken, with every combination of the family. Beth’s face hurt from smiling. When they all headed for the restaurant it was a huge relief. Around a hundred people were at the reception, but Alex’s father had catered for twice that amount. The Panos clan looked at the groaning tables and seemed to take them as a challenge.
The food was delicious, and Beth probably ate too much. Her dress felt snug when she tried to move afterwards. It was time for the speeches and Anna, in the place of the father of the bride, stood up.
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