“I first met Beth when she was ten years old. The circumstances of our meeting were not ideal, but ever since, everything else has been positive.”
Anna talked about meeting Alex and, of course, brought up their mutual appreciation of Tales of Retribution.
“I know it is somewhat unusual to have a woman in the role of father of the bride. It could have been even weirder. If Beth could have got Retribution to give her away, I would have been shoved aside.”
Many people laughed at that. Many had no idea what she was talking about. Beth and Alex looked at each other.
“She’s right,” Alex said.
“Absolutely,” Beth replied.
There was singing and dancing, lots of drinking, noise and fun. In every way it was a memorable day. Beth had a moment when she thought about her parents, but it was fleeting. The day had been incredible, and an exhausted but happy Alex and Beth finally left, well past midnight.
It seemed to take hours to open all the gifts. This, Alex explained, was the advantage of having a big, generous family. Things that they needed for the house and envelopes full of money were scattered across their living room floor. Alex’s parents had stayed away until after lunch, but then they turned up carrying leftover food. They would not have to buy groceries for about a month.
“Hello, Mrs Panos,” trilled Alex’s mother Irene.
“Oh, you mean me.” Beth played along and was crushed by a big hug.
A barbecue was taking place at George and Irene’s house later. Alex and Beth were invited, but if they wanted to relax at home alone, that was okay. That’s what George said, but in reality, it was an offer they couldn’t refuse. Only two days of celebration was quite restrained for them, so they gave in gracefully.
Among the cards that they had opened was one which only contained the words “Best wishes”. No name or signature. Beth couldn’t help but wonder whether it was from her father. The idea was both thrilling and terrifying. Keeping it separate from the others, she would return to it every now and then and study the writing. It was a mystery that she would ponder over many times for years.
Chapter 63
Tim knew all about the wedding. He had followed the preparations avidly as they were noted on Beth’s social media profile. Checking obsessively every hour after the weekend of her wedding, the pictures had appeared online at last. Glancing at them on his phone whilst he was at work, Tim’s eyes misted with tears. He should wait until he got home.
The dress, Beth’s wild hair – that made him smile – Alex in his suit: Tim pored over every detail. Many pictures of Alex’s family were featured, as there were so many of them. The names of those attending were listed with the photographs. One particular notation made him swear. “Anna, giving away the bride.”
Previous posts had identified Anna as a policewoman. This was the person who had taken his place at his daughter’s wedding. He slammed the laptop closed and paced around his living room. Ringo watched his circuits and eventually gave out a little whine. Tim patted his head and sat down again.
Angry at being usurped, despite not having seen Beth for thirteen years, Tim tried to rationalise his feelings. A member of the police force, of all things, had taken over his duty. Bad enough that it was someone else, this added insult to injury. But what was Beth supposed to do? Choose anyone but Anna, was his answer to the question.
Over the next few evenings, Tim printed out his favourite pictures of Beth at her wedding. He had bought an album and he put the photographs into it. Each print had been carefully trimmed and then placed onto a page. He ensured that it was straight before gluing it down, in an effort to make it look as professional as possible.
As Beth had done, he now imagined the wedding with him and Alison attending. Having seen the amount of food on offer, he wondered whether his wife would have eaten anything at all. In some expensive, figure-hugging outfit, she would have preferred to go hungry rather than enjoy herself.
What would have been in his speech? His new obsession was working out exactly what he would have said. Dozens of drafts were made before he was happy. The final version was neatly printed and put in the album. It was pure fantasy, what he had written, talking about watching his daughter grow into a beautiful young woman and what a wonderful man Alex was.
This whole mess had started with Alison. As Tim thought about her, his lip curled. If she had been less uptight and pathetic, none of this would ever have happened. In the end, he’d had no choice but to kill her. Suffocated by the marriage, watching his money being spent and his daughter neglected, he had taken the only action that was sensible.
A sequence of events had been started. Forced to murder his wife, Tim had then met Hugh, who had died; Caroline, who had died; and Kathy, who had died. Their deaths were Alison’s fault. He had been cursed by her. She had tricked him into marriage and people had died as a result.
The first time this thought ran through Tim’s head, he dismissed it as nonsense. The more he repeated it, the more reasonable it sounded. He could never quite convince himself of what he was desperately trying to believe. Only work stopped him turning it over in his mind again and again.
“Morning, Hugh. Hello, Ringo.” Brad bent to make a fuss of the whippet.
Straightening up, Brad got a closer look at his friend. Tim looked glassy-eyed, like he was drunk or something.
“You okay, mate?”
“Yeah. Got a lot on my mind.” Tim snapped out of his torpor and looked at Brad.
“I’ve offered before and I’ll offer again. If you need to talk to someone, I’m always here.”
“Yeah, thanks Brad. It’s my past catching up with me. Things I’ve done, people I’ve lost. And Beth.”
Tim turned away and walked off.
Chapter 64
Brad knew about Caroline, but little else about his colleague’s past. Who was Beth? The grimace after he had mentioned her made Brad think that Hugh, as he knew him, had said the name by mistake. He had been hurt by Hugh not attending his wedding, but the last few months had seen some strange behaviour from the boss, and the snub no longer felt so personal. What was going on?
As Hugh departed, Ringo lingered and looked up at Brad. That was spooky, Brad thought. It was almost as if the dog was telling him that something was wrong. It was only a second, and then Ringo trotted off as he normally would. Had anyone else noticed that something was amiss?
On Friday, the traditional after-work pint in the pub, saw Brad congregate with his co-workers.
“I’m a bit worried about Hugh. He comes to work and does his job, but I don’t know, he doesn’t seem to be right.” Brad introduced the subject.
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that too. No chats or banter, just what he needs to do and nothing else.”
“I can’t remember the last time he came out with us. Didn’t even go to your wedding, Brad. I was surprised at that.”
“Even the dog looks sad.”
The replies to his query told Brad that he was not alone in being concerned. Hugh was turning up every day, doing his job. Functioning is what it was. There was no joy in him anymore, though. That was what made Brad decide to keep a closer eye on his friend. All he could do was keep reinforcing his support and willingness to help in case he was ever needed.
Chapter 65
To their great joy, Beth was pregnant. The wedding had brought a dramatic response from Alex’s family, but that was nothing compared to the elation at learning that there would be a baby. Irene phoned every morning to make sure that Beth was okay. How was she feeling? Had she had breakfast? Was she getting enough sleep? Was there anything that she needed?
Beth, in her usual calm manner, batted away the questions, reassuring her mother-in-law that everything was fine. The morning sickness had ended, and apart from feeling a bit tired there was little to report. Alex had offered some sage advice to his wife about his mother.
“Let her fuss over you. I know it’s a bit full-on, but imagine if you tried to resist it. Th
at would be far more difficult than just letting her get on with it.”
The house they lived in was mortgage-free, thanks to Nana, and they both had good jobs. There was no reason to wait to start a family. Within a year of the wedding they had learned the good news. Another Panos family member was going to be added to the throng. One thing was for sure: they would never be short of a babysitter.
Once again, the event caused a moment of introspection for Beth. Her father, if he was still out there, was about to have a grandchild. The anonymous card received at their wedding was taken out of the drawer. Beth could not recall what her dad’s writing had been like. Could it have been from him?
Alex had looked sceptical when she had mentioned the card and its possible source. How would her dad have known about the wedding, he had asked? Beth considered the conundrum, and soon came up with a plausible explanation. These days, like many other people, her life was documented on social media. Could he have been watching her via this medium?
Rather than tighten security on her account, Beth left it as it was. If that was what he was doing, then let him see. Let him know that she was happily married and part of a big, happy family. Let him look at the pictures of her with her swollen, pregnant belly. Let him realise that she had a good life. His terrible deed of killing her mother had not ruined her life.
Happy, positive stories were posted on her account. Gushing comments about her wonderful husband and lovely family. Lucy pulled her up on it one day. Did she think she was celebrity, talking to her fans? Beth didn’t confess that she thought her father might be following her, choosing to tone it down instead.
There was a baby shower, more gifts, and lots of advice. Beth went to hospital in a convoy of cars; her and Alex in the lead, followed by George and Irene, and then a couple of vehicles with aunts and uncles. Luckily, most of them waited at a local pub for the birth. They were in the right place to toast the new child.
A baby girl was born and the message was passed on to the group in the bar. Beth could hear their cheers as she lay, exhausted, with her daughter on her chest. Managing a smile at the reaction, all Beth wanted to do next was sleep.
“What is the baby’s name?” Irene asked.
“That has not quite been decided yet,” Alex answered.
“I’ve said that I want the middle name to be Anna, the rest is open to negotiation.” Beth thought she should contribute to the conversation.
Suggestions were made by Alex’s parents. Messages were received from the people in the pub, giving names. Beth finally falling asleep despite the ongoing discussion, putting an end to the debate.
An announcement was made: the child was to be called Nicole Anna Panos. Everyone seemed happy with the decision. Nobody had been slighted or preferred and any disagreement had, therefore, been avoided. Anna was honoured to have her name included, which was what Beth wanted most.
Pictures were posted on the internet. Hundreds of them. Nicole was photographed in the arms of grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. As Beth posted them, she thought about who might be looking at them. Was he out there, seeing his granddaughter on his screen? What were his thoughts if he did?
After the initial thought, her father was the last thing on Beth’s mind. There was so much to do when you had a new baby. Staring into the little girl’s face, Beth could see that she would have Alex’s colouring, blue eyes and the hair, dark definitely – but would it be wild and untameable like hers?
Chapter 66
Today was Tim’s birthday. It was actually Hugh’s, but that didn’t matter. He had practically forgotten his real one. At work he was presented with a cake and cards which poked fun at his age. A smile had been forced onto his face, but that was as far as he wanted to go with the celebration. No, he would not be going for a drink after work. Ringo ended up eating more cake than he did.
Back home, he logged on to the internet and looked at the latest pictures that had been posted by his daughter. Nicole Panos was perfect. The middle name would never be uttered by his lips. That bloody policewoman had inserted herself in his family again. The process of printing the photographs had started again, and a new album had been devoted to his granddaughter.
Most days Tim got home from work, made himself something to eat, and fed Ringo. They would go out for a walk a little later before settling down for the evening. The television was on and something might catch his attention. The rest of the time was spent online, or looking at the albums.
Lately, one thought had been occupying his mind: was there a way that he could get to see Beth and Nicole in person? It would be impossible to have any sort of relationship with them, he wasn’t that delusional. But to see them, just once, would be all he needed. The problem was managing this, but not getting caught.
The photographs that he had seen online had told Tim a lot more when examined closely. Finding where his daughter was living was not a problem. Recognising rooms and furniture, the garden, and the street, he knew that Beth was at her grandmother’s place. It was apparent that Heather had left the house to her.
Well, that was good. That vitriolic old woman, with her diets and pills, had finally done something decent. Beth had benefitted and that was a good thing. Knowing where to go to find his daughter was a start. But how would he visit and then get away again, without the police being called?
These days, with CCTV, it was tricky getting anywhere without appearing on film. Tim had a new project. He began checking the area in which Beth lived. Where were the cameras? Was there a route that would take him into the street without being seen? If he drove, where could he park the car?
One day it seemed feasible, the next impossible. What would be the repercussions of seeing his daughter? The police would find out that he was still alive. They probably weren’t sure about that. Beth would be able to describe what he looked like now, if she told the police. Would she tell the police?
Tim would have to assume that Beth would be hostile to him. Killing her mother would not have made him her favourite person. The enduring relationship with the policewoman, Anna, likely meant that she had been involved in any search for him. Was there a chance that she would look sympathetically on him because he was her father?
Over the next couple of hours, Tim convinced himself that Beth would be fine, and then immediately admitted that she would not. His opinion veered back and forth. Ringo watched as Tim smiled and patted him and then frowned and threw up his hands in despair a minute later.
Sighing, Tim had to look at the pros and cons. Did the risk of being caught outweigh the chance to see his daughter and granddaughter? Having been free for nearly fifteen years, was he ready to face ending up in prison? It was a conundrum with the highest stakes. Certainly not something that he could rush to decide.
Like the photograph albums of Beth’s wedding and of the baby, Tim would revisit his plan many times. Checking his route, thinking about timing, rehearsing what he would say when he and Beth finally came face to face. The impetus to actually do it was still lacking. Would he ever be able to take that step?
Chapter 67
As the years passed, Tim carried on checking up on his daughter via the internet. The solitary life he led, the momentous decision he had to make and the history of the deaths of those around him all contributed to his decline. The once handsome man looked very different from the man who had gone on the run so long ago.
Sweeping his hand through his mop of thick grey hair, Tim picked a shirt up off the floor and put it on. Not too creased and it smelled okay. Low criteria were applied to his wardrobe nowadays. His trousers seemed tighter each day. The food he ate was worse and the walks he and Ringo took were shorter. As a consequence, he had put on weight.
Beneath the wavy, wiry hair was a weathered, creased face. Spending a lot of his time out of doors meant that he had a permanent tan, the one thing that made him look a bit healthy. Unkempt, paunchy and mostly silent, Tim cut a sad figure as he moved about the port.
No one cou
ld fault his work ethic. There had rarely been an absence due to sickness in all of the years that he had been at the docks. Instructions were carried out. He made a contribution to discussions when necessary. The only things lacking were his vigour and the friendly banter he had previously shared with his colleagues.
Brad was now his deputy, surely being groomed to replace Tim when he retired. They talked about work, and occasionally Brad could tease a bit of information out of his boss. It had been worrying to watch this vital, charming man become lethargic and old before his time. Were it not for Ringo, Tim would be in an even worse state by now.
The albums which held the pictures of his family were now dogeared and fading. The repetition of his actions had become the only thing that kept him functioning. Walk Ringo, go to work, come home, eat, walk Ringo, look at photos, wonder whether he would ever see his daughter again.
Ringo crawled onto his lap as he sat staring at nothing. The albums had been viewed, and the next hour would be spent trying to decide whether to see Beth or not. At the end of that time he would give up, having been unable to commit to any action. Absently stroking the dog, Tim felt tears running down his cheeks.
Ringo was the only real reason he got up in the morning and carried on. What was his life all about without his dog? If he didn’t have to look after this animal, he might have given up a long time ago. This thought brought with it a revelation. If he knew that his dog was alright, what did it matter if he was locked up for the rest of his life?
It was time to get things in order. This meant that someone would have to know what was happening in his life, what he was going to do, and what the ramifications might be. There was only one person who could be given this responsibility. That was Brad. Tim hoped that trusting Brad with his story would not bring the curse down on him.
There was a slight possibility that he would get in and out of seeing Beth unscathed. That meant that Tim would have to be careful what information he passed on. Maybe he shouldn’t mention that he had murdered someone when he spoke to Brad, but allude to a dark deed. He needed to relieve the pressure by making a confession of sorts before he set off to see Beth.
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