Nax

by Carter, Sadie

  He drew his brows together.

  “You make it sound simple, moving us both in. But it’s not. As well as the fact that we don’t know each other that well, and everything that goes with our, ah, relationship. There’s the stress of moving her. Settling her in. Then there’s just day-to-day care. It’s my burden, my privilege, my mother, do you understand? You shouldn’t have to deal with it. If we moved in with you, you would have to and that’s not fair.”

  “You do not think I can cope with the care your mother needs?”

  “No,” she said quietly. “I don’t think you should have to.”

  He was silent for a long moment. Then he gently started to undress her. Probably she shouldn’t let him. They hadn’t even gone beyond a kiss and he was going to see everything. But she was too tired to care right now about what he saw or thought of her body. It seemed like the least of her worries.

  “I think that is stupid.”

  “What?” she jolted then hissed as her bruised body protested.

  “Stupid. Foolish. Ridiculous.”

  “Don’t hold back, tell me what you really think,” she said dryly, biting her lip to hold in a cry of pain as he helped her out of her jacket then her shirt. She sat there in just her bra as he checked the bruises on her side, the scrapes along her boobs and tummy, which she must have gotten when Killer had tackled her from behind.

  “I will. I do not know why you believe you have to do this alone. It is a stupid thought. Just because she is your mother does not mean you must be a…what do they call it? Martin?”

  She winced. “Do you mean martyr?”

  “Yes. That is it. I am offering to help. My pack, uh brothers, will help. Frankie and Eden will help. Why would you not accept help when it is offered?”

  Tears filled her eyes as he reached for her, lifting her down. He turned her so he could inspect her back. By now, steam had filled the room and she should probably get in the shower before all the hot water ran out but truth was, she didn’t want to move.

  He ran his finger lightly down her back. She trembled. But not in fear this time. No, this tremble was all about the heat he was building in her body. He reached for the top of her pants and pulled them down her legs. She stepped out of them and he threw them away.

  “You are covered in bruises and scratches. He could have hurt you worse. Stabbed you. Punched you. Raped you.”

  That tremble was one of fear. “That was his plan.”

  “I cannot allow you to keep putting yourself in danger.”

  “I didn’t do it on purpose,” she protested.

  He moved in closer. The warmth of his body was a shock against her cool skin. He reached for her hair, pulling it to one side so he could kiss along her neck.

  “Oh, God.”

  “You do not have to do it all on your own. Not while I am here.”

  “I’m worried you’ll come to resent me. Resent Mom.”

  “Never.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  He kissed along her shoulder. “I do. Because I do not see your mother as a burden. She is your mother. She is ill. She requires care. You require care also.”

  “I don’t.”

  “You do. You do it all yourself with no thought to your own safety. Your own health.” He ran his hands down her side. “Taking care of you both is not a burden. It is a privilege. One I will not be denied. And it is my right.”

  She wished she could believe it.

  “I can’t give you all of me. Not when she needs so much.”

  “You will give me all of you—”

  “Nax—”

  “And you will give her all of you. Because I will take care of everything else. You are tired now. You work. You cook. Clean. Worry. Protect. You do it all. You live with me, all you worry about is her care. All you need worry about is pleasing me.”

  “Pleasing you?”

  “Being mine. I take care of all the rest.”

  She sucked in a breath as he moved his mouth over the back of her shoulder. “I can’t let you do that.”

  “You can.”

  There was silence while she assimilated that. He moved his mouth along her jaw to kiss her lightly on the lips. “Tell me if I frighten you.”

  Frighten her? “You don’t frighten me, Nax.” Her feelings for him did, though. They were intense, beyond anything she’d felt before.

  “You have had a scare. I do not want you to fear me. I should give you tenderness. Care.”

  Actually, the last thing she wanted was tenderness and care. She wanted something to take away the fear. To make her forget these past few hours. To stop thinking about how good it would be to move in with Nax. To have him take care of all those other things so she could just concentrate on Mom. And him.

  She did not know what pleasing him entailed. But she could guess. She blushed a little. Then he moved away.

  “No, please.” She turned. The room spun slightly as she moved too fast. Shit.

  He grasped her around the waist, holding her steady.

  “Shit. Whoops. Moved too quick. Please don’t leave me.” She reached out for him, placing her hands on his chest. “Please, I don’t want to be alone right now.”

  “I am not going far. But I do not have the control to see you undressed and not touch you.”

  “I don’t want you to have control.”

  “You do.”

  She sighed. “Nax. Please. I need something to make me forget about what just happened. I need something to erase his touch. I want to feel like me again and I’m not sure the shower is going to do that.”

  “You are injured.”

  “It’s a few scratches and bruises.”

  “You are in shock.”

  “I know what I want,” she replied stubbornly.

  “I am not a patient man. I do not usually wait for what I want. I have been patient for you. I am taking my time. Building trust.” He grimaced as he said those words, as though they tasted bitter.

  “Building trust? Where did you get that from?” Because he hadn’t thought of it himself. She knew that for sure.

  “Eden.”

  Ah. Figured. “I appreciate the time you have given me.” Although she didn’t actually think he’d been waiting that long. She knew patience wasn’t one of his virtues, though. He was a take-charge kind of a guy. Used to getting what he wanted.

  “I must be a real pain in your ass.”

  “What?”

  “I mean, you seem like you’re used to getting your own way.”

  “I am. I will with you. Eventually.” There was heated promise in his eyes. And she knew then that he wasn’t going to give up. Maybe…maybe he wouldn’t walk away. Eventually get tired and take off.

  “I’ve lost all my friends because of Mom.” She shook her head. “That’s not fair. Not because of Mom. Because she needs most of my time and I didn’t have enough time for them. I probably should have made more of an effort—”

  “They did not help you? Did not offer assistance?”

  “They did to begin with but…well…I guess I find it hard to accept help.”

  “They should not have given up so easily. Not if they were true friends.”

  She knew he was right.

  “My hot water is going to run out soon. Will you help me bathe?”

  He sucked in a breath. “It is best I do not.”

  “I think it’s best you do.” She reached around to undo the clasp of her bra and winced as the movement pulled at her bruised skin.

  He grumbled something under his breath. Then gently turned her around and undid the clasp. She let the bra drift forward then turned, her breasts pushed against his chest. “Please, Nax. I need you. I need your touch. I need to feel pleasure. Please. I know you don’t think I’m thinking clearly after what I’ve just been through, but I can assure you I am. I have never wanted anything more than I want you to take me.”

  He stared at her for a long moment then stepped back. Disappointment surged through her
. Then he reached for her panties, pulling them down her legs. Her breath caught. Her heart beat rapidly. And then it hit her. He was seeing her naked.

  And she hadn’t even fucking shaved her legs. Shit! Hairy legs were not a big turn on. Thank God she’d had the hair lasered off her pussy years ago when she’d had the money.

  “I’m just going to jump in and clean up.” She slid into the shower and reached for her razor.

  He pulled back the curtain to watch her. Crap. Crap. She couldn’t ask for privacy now. He might think she wasn’t ready for this and she was. She so was.

  “I, um, I need to shave.”

  “Shave?” he asked in a low voice. His gaze was stuck on her breasts. Good. That was good. Unless he thought they were too small?

  “I know they’re not much. They used to be bigger when I was, well, bigger.”

  She lathered up some shaving gel and bent over to run it over her legs.

  So not sexy, Crista.

  Her body protested the movement and she did her best to ignore it as she quickly shaved her right leg. She stood to reach for more gel and the blood rushed from her head, making her sway. A combination of exhaustion, stress and the heat of the shower.

  “Careful.” He reached in and clasped her around the waist.

  “Just a little dizzy.”

  “You are exhausted. Enough. You need to come and rest.”

  “No! No, I’m fine. Please. I’m all right. I just need to shave my other leg so you don’t feel like you’re having sex with sasquatch then I’ll clean up so I don’t smell him on me anymore and then I’ll be done.”

  She smiled brightly at him.

  “Sasquatch?”

  “He’s like this mythical beast who is big and hairy. A monster.”

  “You think I would believe you a monster?”

  She blushed. “You might if you got a feel of my legs.”

  He shocked her by crouching and running his hand along the leg she hadn’t shaved. “This is nothing. And it could never be enough to make me not want you.”

  “Oh. Well. That’s nice.”

  Good one. You couldn’t think of something more intelligent to say?

  It seemed not.

  And as he reached for the razor, she found herself handing it over without a word then standing very still as he ran it up her leg, carefully shaving her left leg.

  He handed her back the razor. “Um, no one has ever shaved my legs for me before.”

  “It is a problem?”

  A little strange. But also a little bit of a turn-on. Shouldn’t be. But then sometimes she thought she was wired differently than other people. Hell, his threat to spank her earlier had her whole body humming. Most people probably would have told him to take a hike. She wanted to ask him for a demonstration.

  Yeah, she was definitely wired differently.

  She grabbed the bar of soap, handing it over to him as he held his hand out. He soaped up his hand then reached over and put it back on the small shelf where it was kept.

  He ran his soapy hands over her shoulders then down her arms. She stayed still, afraid if she moved he might stop.

  And she really didn’t want him to stop.

  He ran his hands down her stomach. He completely bypassed her breasts and she let out a small protesting noise. He reached the top of her hips and stopped, reaching for the soap again. He ran his hand up one leg then down the other.

  “Turn around,” he commanded her.

  She turned.

  “Rest your hands on the wall of the shower and spread your legs.”

  “Going to search me, officer?” she teased.

  “I am not an officer.”

  “I know, it was just…I was teasing. Like pretending I was a criminal and you were a cop, frisking me. It’s like a bit of role play. Do you not like role play during sex?”

  “I have never tried it. Do you enjoy it?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never tried it, either. To be truthful, I haven’t tried much.”

  “Then we will do so. Just not tonight.”

  “No, not tonight.”

  He finished washing her legs and she swore they had never been so clean. He moved up to her back, careful to avoid the scratches. Yet he managed to find the places to dig in where her muscles were bunched and tensed. She let her head drop forward, the water dribbled down. She’d taken a top-floor apartment for safety, but that meant the water pressure was shit. He cupped her buttocks and she jolted.

  “Shh,” he told her. “Relax. Let me take care of you.”

  That was not something she was used to. But she decided she could really learn to like it. He parted her buttocks and she tensed slightly. “Nax?”

  “You do not like to be touched here?”

  “Um, it’s more that I don’t know whether I like to be touched there.”

  “Then let us find out.”

  He was so filled with confidence. No hesitation. And damned if that wasn’t a huge turn-on. But she wasn’t nearly so confident. Anything but.

  “Yes, but, well, what if, umm…”

  He stilled and looked up at her. Her buttocks were pressed apart and he had one finger resting on her back entrance. He was completely still.

  This. This was definitely the weirdest position she’d ever been in. Ever.

  “Crista.” It was all he said but she got the message.

  Spit it out, female.

  “What if you don’t like it?”

  He frowned slightly.

  “I mean…oh shit, I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem like a very sexy place.”

  “There is no part of you I do not want to know. That I do not want to explore. Understand?”

  “Um, okay.”

  “Turn around. Relax.”

  “Relaxing is hard to do when you have your hands on me.”

  “You are afraid?”

  “Hell no. I’m turned on. Like big time.”

  “This is good.”

  Yes, it was. It really was.

  13

  He did not know why she was concerned about him not finding her buttocks attractive. He meant it when he said he wanted there to be no part of her he did not know. Touch. Want. He ran his finger over her puckered entrance. His rod throbbed, his balls ached. He wanted to push his finger inside her, explore, but he knew that he needed to prepare her more. He pushed just the tip of his finger into her. Just enough to give her a small taste. But one day, he would take her here.

  He stood and moved to the bathroom sink.

  “Nax?”

  “Just washing my hands.” He soaped them up, washed them quickly. Then he moved back to her. She had turned around. Her head was dipped down, but he caught a glimpse of red on her cheeks. Embarrassed? Because he had touched her back passage?

  “You did not like that?”

  She glanced up but avoided his gaze. “No, it’s not that.”

  “You did like it?”

  Sometimes speaking with a human female was like one big guessing game. And he never seemed to win.

  “I liked it,” she whispered.

  “Then why can you not meet my gaze?”

  She looked at him. “Did you like it?”

  “I would not have touched you there did I not. Believe me, if I had the time, I would still be exploring you.”

  “Oh. Well. That’s nice.”

  He could think of a lot of words to describe it. Nice was not one.

  She looked him over, her gaze hot. “Why don’t you strip off and join me?”

  He would like nothing more. There were several reasons why he could not. First, he did not think his wide shoulders would fit in that cubicle. Second, he was still not convinced that she was ready for this. He did not to wish to take advantage. Third, the first time he joined with her, he wanted her to know exactly who he was. There would be no regrets. No turning back.

  Not that either of them could turn back anyway.

  “Tonight is not the night to join with you.”

  “Joi
n with me?”

  Ah, right. Human words.

  “Sex. This is not the time for sex.”

  He watched her face tighten. “Is it because you don’t find me attractive now that I’m naked?”

  He reached for her hands, which were now attempting to cover her breasts and mound. He drew them away.

  “If I took off my clothes, I would take you. It is all that I can do not to pull you out of there, push you against a wall and enter you.”

  “Oh. That’s nice.”

  “It will not be nice.” It would be hot. Hard. Heavy.

  “Then why don’t you?”

  “Because there are things about me that you should know first. Because our first time should be in a bedroom, where I do not have to worry about your mother waking and walking in on us.”

  “We could be quick.”

  “Oh, no. It will not be quick. It will last hours. It will involve reaching your pleasure multiple, multiple times and when it happens I do not want your mind on anything or anyone but me. Understand?”

  “I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak.”

  “Understand?” he growled.

  She sighed. “Yeah, I understand. I can finish showering by myself.”

  He could see her disappointment and it satisfied something primitive inside him, to know she wanted him so much.

  “I finish what I start.”

  “But if you’re not going to…”

  “I said I was not going to join with you. I did not say I would not give you pleasure.”

  “Seems rather one-sided,” she said.

  “Shh,” he told her, he soaped up his hands once more. The he reached for her breasts, cupping them with his hands.

  “They’re small,” she told him.

  “Shh.”

  “Like I said before, there was more—”

  “Crista, hush,” he said firmly.

  Her gaze met his and she pressed her lips together. “I’m nervous. I talk when I’m nervous.”

  He started to laugh. “I had worked that out. Now either be quiet or I go find something to gag you with.”

  Her eyes widened. “You wouldn’t, really?” She gasped as he ran his thumbs over her nipples. Then he pinched them lightly, rolling them between his thumb and forefingers.

  “I would.”

  “Oh, God. Oh shit.”