Stay a Little Longer

by Dawn Lanuza

  “Relax, babe, you’re good. I saw what you did to our apartment.”

  “That was cleaning out your space, not styling.”

  They were better as friends anyway. She’d realized that as the weeks went by, in spite of her attraction to him. When Jordan inherited a bunch of furniture from his grandmother, Lucian asked Caty to assess which pieces were good enough to keep and which were better off sold or auctioned. So she rearranged the furniture and convinced Jordan and his roommate to sell some leftover pieces on the internet or at the flea market.

  She’d made some money on the job, and it was a nice change from being someone’s assistant. That had gotten old so fast.

  Jordan refilled her glass and looked sternly at her. “I’m keeping tabs.”

  “I’m sure,” she answered, taking the glass off the counter and downing it in one go. She grimaced.

  “Come over tonight; we’re having an after-party. We can talk about your shoot.”

  Your shoot. He said it like, your shoot, as if it was the biggest of all deals. Well, she supposed it was. One of her former clients from Toronto had called and wondered if Caty could shoot something for her website.

  When she got the call, it felt like rain after a drought. So she really wanted to ace it. It was real work, not watering plants, picking up laundry, or walking a dog named Mando. Yes, she had actually moved up to walking her boss’s dog.

  But the shoot she’d done today? That was the kind of work she wanted. Work she knew and loved doing.

  “Rain check?”

  “Really?” he frowned.

  “I’ll tell you all about it when it goes well.” Caty crossed her fingers.

  Jordan clicked his tongue. “I’m telling you, babe. It will be great.”

  She leaned on the counter and gave him a sheepish smile. Really, Jordan should get a ribbon for giving her too many chances. He’d asked her out again, and she’d told him she was just trying to focus on her new life in New York, taking the next step for her career, and, hopefully, finding more friends. So here they were, friends supporting their other friend who was about to perform tonight.

  “You get a free drink of your choice from your kind gentleman friend.” He winked at her. Okay, so maybe they were friends—friends who still flirted. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit that she loved the attention he gave. All the girls at the bar were basically swooning for Jordan. Someone please give the guy a medal for his face already.

  “You’re my favorite bartender,” she shot back.

  “Hey, Jordan, you’re my favorite bartender,” someone else yelled to get his attention.

  Caty laughed.

  The lights dimmed, and she turned around to face the stage. She always loved watching Lux perform. She was so beautiful and captivating onstage that even when they were young, Caty knew she was a star. Everyone who got to see her, even for the first time, thought so too. She was really proud of her friend following her dreams in this city.

  Within that second, as much as her heart swelled with pride for Lux, she also felt it sink into her stomach. So she let the glass hit her lips, tipped her head back, and drank the dread away.

  There was a knock on his door. That was strange, but it was even stranger that it was Gia on his doorstep.

  “You gonna let me in?” She held a paper bag from a fast-food chain.

  “I have to leave in an hour.”

  “I know,” she agreed. “Sundays with Mom.”

  Elan nodded. They hadn’t spoken much these past few days. He had started cycling seriously after the charity marathon the previous month and was spending Saturdays finding new routes. His phone was in silent mode on the counter, where it had been most days.

  “Okay, you get dibs: thigh or wing?”

  He frowned. “Thigh. Have you forgotten?”

  Gia smiled. “I just wanted to get you to say something.”

  She handed him the food pack and took a seat at his tiny dining table. It wasn’t a real dining table—it was more of study table with two chairs. He never used it anyway, since he wasn’t in his apartment much.

  “You haven’t been doing your laundry,” she said, looking a little cautious. He’d had his own washer and dryer for a while now, so he didn’t do laundry at Gia’s house.

  “Yes, I have.”

  She leaned forward and sniffed him.

  He batted her away with his hand. “Quit it. Why are you checking up on me?”

  “Well,” Gia grinned, “I haven’t seen you in a while—”

  “Busy.”

  Gia paused, chewing her food slowly.

  He knew he’d rarely used that word with her, and her look said she didn’t believe him. Could he blame her? In her eyes, he had always been a yes guy, to a fault.

  She leaned back in her seat and took another bite. He braced himself for whatever she was going to say. Gia’s visits were rare occurrences, so he knew this had to be big.

  “Abby misses you.”

  He frowned. That was one of the things he missed about doing laundry at Gia’s—seeing his niece, Abby. “Sorry. I’ll drop by this week.”

  She nodded, took a moment before saying, “Is everything okay with you?”

  Elan gave her a look, but she wouldn’t budge. This was Gia. “I’m fine.”

  “I know you’re fine. You’ve always been just fine,” she grumbled.

  Then what was this all about? He wondered.

  “Are you angry at me for calling so much about Mom?”

  He leaned back, let go of the spoon, and stared at her. “What? No.”

  “I thought you were.”

  “I’m not angry.”

  “Sorry, I know you hate the word angry. Were you annoyed?” she corrected herself.

  Elan huffed, “I’m not anything, okay? I got a washer and dryer like you told me to, that’s all. Pascual’s been away so there’s more pressure on me.”

  Gia gave him a smile, but it was thin. “You aren’t always fine, you know.”

  What? He gave her a look. He had always been fine. He had to be fine.

  “In fact, you were great until you got back from New York, and it was a good look for you.” Her voice was chirpy, despite his mood. “It was a great look on you.”

  Elan rolled his eyes.

  “Don’t think I didn’t notice,” Gia continued. “You and your phone were inseparable. You smiled even when you were alone. You laughed . . .”

  “All right,” he cut her off. “You make it sound like something’s wrong with me.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “No, nothing’s wrong. You’re just in love. And it’s like you’ve never been.”

  Elan’s mouth quirked. He knew that was true, but he didn’t know how to handle it yet. He thought he would know when he saw Caty, but it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. He didn’t know what to do with himself and his affections. Then she told him she was seeing somebody else.

  And why shouldn’t she? She was a smart, attractive woman. Only an idiot wouldn’t want to be with her.

  Gia waited for his response but got too impatient. “If I ruined your trip, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d rush home. I was only calling to let you know it was okay so you wouldn’t worry too much. And I thought you finally had someone you couldn’t just leave.”

  He blinked and held up his hand to stop her. “Okay, you’re right.”

  Gia seemed confused. “About what?”

  Elan took a deep breath and released it. The truth is, he just said it to tell her, Enough. Stop.

  “How is she?”

  If she meant the girl he did leave, then he wouldn’t know. It didn’t take long for their conversations to fizzle out. At first, one person didn’t respond to the other for hours. Then it turned into days. Then . . . nothing.

  That’s just what happens.
She’d found someone else. It happened so fast, yet watching and experiencing it had been so torturously slow. He’d lost.

  His shoulders rose into a shrug.

  “Oh no.” Gia’s face fell.

  Elan smirked. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ve just been a bit preoccupied these days. I’ll come visit this weekend.”

  “But you have a washer here.”

  “I don’t really go to your house just to do my laundry, you know. I go to get a free meal too.”

  She punched his arm playfully, and he made it look as if it hurt him more than she intended.

  Even after he’d made her laugh, he felt her looking at him with sadness.

  “So, does Mom have any activities today?” Gia asked.

  Elan looked up. The change in topic made him think he might be safe from more questions. “Mass. Lunch. That’s pretty much it.”

  “Sometimes I feel guilty because I don’t get to do much for her,” Gia admitted.

  “You’ve got your hands full, with Abby.”

  “But that’s it. We all have our hands full. We’re all doing something. Even you.”

  He paused. “It’s fine.”

  Gia snorted. “Did I just realize how many times you tell us you’re fine?”

  Elan was about to say, But I am fine, but he knew that wouldn’t help his case.

  “Elan.” She looked him in the eyes, holding him in place. “You don’t have to believe that you must take care of us. It’s not your only job.”

  He blinked.

  “I think—” Gia hesitated, meeting his eyes slowly before continuing, “even if it was the right thing to do, you still felt bad for what happened with Dad.”

  Elan looked away, shook his head. Here we go.

  “You did the right thing.”

  “I know.”

  “But you lost a father.” She reached for his hand, but he pulled it back. “I think you still blame yourself for that.”

  Did he? He wanted to say no, but his mouth felt dry.

  “Don’t punish yourself by thinking that everything that happens to us—the sole responsibility for taking care of us—is on you,” Gia insisted, holding his hand again with both of hers. “You did that when you looked for help after that night. You saved Mom from years of abuse. You did it for me and for you too.”

  Underneath hers, his hand was balled into a fist. He swallowed but didn’t look at her.

  “Elan.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re giving me this talk.”

  “I’m not giving you a talk,” Gia pointed out, but her voice was soft. “I am talking to you. Someone should have done it a long time ago. It’s way overdue.”

  “Exactly.” He finally made the mistake of looking her in the eyes and recognized the tears welling up there. His hand softened.

  “I just think that after what happened, when he left, we all assumed that we were fine,” Gia continued. “Even if we weren’t. It was a triumph but still a loss.”

  Elan licked his lips and gave her a quick nod.

  “You don’t have to be fine all the time.” She smiled again, this time not out of pity but of kindness. “Especially when you’re not.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, but he was at a loss for words. His tongue seemed to be stuck, so he swallowed to get rid of the lump in his throat.

  “You only have a handful of people in your life,” she stated. “You’re as devoted to them as you are to us. It’s why I thought—”

  “It was a work trip, G,” Elan replied.

  “What happened to the girl?”

  “I don’t know.” That was the easiest answer.

  “How come?”

  “I just don’t know,” Elan said earnestly. He really, truly did not know. She pulled the rug out from under his feet, and he had been agonizing about what he could have done differently. But he wasn’t there, physically. He tried to bridge that gap with what he had, but man, proximity was everything. Long distance was just too . . . inconvenient.

  “It’s nothing,” he concluded. He wanted to bite off his tongue after that. It tasted funny, most definitely bitter.

  Gia’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not nothing. You look like you’ve been run over by a truck. Twice.”

  He pulled his hand away from her grip with a smirk. “Thanks, but it’s just my face.”

  She scoffed, amused by his humor but clearly not done with the conversation.

  “Look,” Gia started again. “She lives far away, right?”

  He was silent, neither confirming nor denying that fact.

  “You only communicate through that.” She pointed at his phone.

  Again, he didn’t even nod or shake his head.

  “Do you think that’s enough?”

  He wanted to say it was, but he knew that wasn’t true. It was never enough.

  “You look like you’re saying no,” Gia said cautiously, happy to get a response from him.

  Elan turned to her, now curious about where she was heading with this. But she stared right back at him with a look on her face.

  “So?” he finally asked.

  “So do something about it,” she said, gazing at him intently.

  As if he hadn’t told himself that long ago. He scrunched up his nose in annoyance. “I can’t move continents, you know.”

  “Of course not, dummy. It’ll take years, and she doesn’t have all that time to wait for you.”

  She was right. He knew Caty didn’t have time to pine for him. She deserved more. Then what should he do? “I can’t move to New York.”

  “Why not?”

  Elan’s eyes widened. “Because? Because it would cost a lot. Because I have a job. Because my family is here. There are too many reasons.”

  “There will always be reasons.”

  “But it would take years. I’d be uprooting myself. It would affect everything.” He meant everything in the life he had now. He looked around his apartment and noticed the blankness of it.

  Gia paused, lips spreading to a smile. “But you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

  He was annoyed at how smug she looked, like she knew it all. Elan clenched his hands into fists and growled, “But she’s already over this whole thing.”

  Gia’s smile faded, replaced with a look of alarm, concern. “She said that?”

  “Yeah, she’s seeing somebody else.”

  “Oh,” Gia sat back in the chair and sighed. “Who?”

  “I don’t know,” Elan’s voice sank.

  “Well, okay. Wow. I thought you guys really had something.”

  He shook his head. He’d thought so too, but clearly they were not on the same page. Maybe he was too late, despite the incredible night they’d spent together.

  “Did she tell you why?”

  He gave her a look. It was exhausting, trying to answer her questions—the same ones he’d been trying to answer on his own.

  “We’re apart,” was the only thing he could say.

  “Can you, for one second, remember what she told you? I know you would rather not think about it, but could you maybe review it?”

  “Why?”

  “Because when you’re hurt or mad, you don’t listen as well as you do when you’re not. Maybe she was trying to tell you something.”

  “Yes,” he answered straight. “She told me she was already seeing somebody else. I wasn’t mad.”

  “But you’re allowed to be. That’s a valid emotion, you know.”

  Elan paused. The words hit him like huge blocks falling on his head. You’re allowed to be. That’s a valid emotion.

  He didn’t make any reply. He looked at his food and decided he didn’t want it anymore. “We were just talking; nobody said anything about not seeing other people.�
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  Gia nodded. It was quiet for minute, and he really thought it was over, that she was done asking about Caty, but Gia would always be Gia.

  “But you’ve told her how you feel? She knows?”

  Of course she knew. Didn’t he show her how much? Didn’t he tell her?

  “Oh my God.” Gia clapped her hands. “You didn’t.”

  “I did too.”

  “Are you sure? She knew why you really came? You didn’t even consider going on that trip before.”

  Elan tilted his head. “She knew that I wanted to see her.”

  “And?”

  “She doesn’t owe me anything,” Elan answered.

  Gia paused, then sighed and looked defeated. It was his turn to pat his sister’s shoulders.

  “Don’t feel bad for me,” he coaxed.

  “I really wanted you to have someone. I’d like to know what she saw in that other guy.”

  “She probably sees him, literally, any time, any day. He’s right there. I can tell you that much,” he said dejectedly. “I have to go.”

  “One of these days,” Gia sighed, “she’s gonna realize that people don’t just ‘connect’ so easily. You can’t replicate that, you know.”

  He gave her a quick nod and licked his lips.

  “Let’s hope it’s not too late.”

  Mariah Carey was a success. Caty listened to “Dreamlover” playing in their living room, watching Jimmy and Lucian dance and sing along. She was slouched on the couch, spacey from comfort and tequila.

  She watched them kiss, and it made her laugh.

  Jimmy turned to her. “Hey, smiley. What are you laughing at?”

  Caty wanted to stop, but she didn’t. She loved the sound of it, and it made her chest feel light to keep laughing, so she did.

  Lucian reached for her arm to pull her up. “Come dance with us.”

  “I can’t.” She shook her head. “I’m glued to the couch.”

  He let go. “You’re gonna make us carry you back to your bed, aren’t you?”

  “No, keep dancing,” she said, waving her hand. “I’ll watch.”

  Jimmy smirked. “I’ll make you some coffee.”

  He disappeared into the kitchen, his favorite place. Lucian went ahead and sat next to her on the couch.