"Well whatever you pick out, I think we'll need one of these," said Olivia as she reached over my shoulder to grab a pacifier clip. The clip looked like a butterfly, and an eight inch ribbon in pink and white stretched out below its wings.
Has to match the clip, I thought as I stared at the pacifiers. And as I stared, my side started to cramp. The urge to pee was building fast. I shouldn't have had all that water at the restaurant.
"You need to pick something Lexi. We can't just stand here all day."
Have to pee. I can't hold it forever. I clenched my fists, trying to calm my nerves. Why am I even trying to hold it? I'm a baby now. I'm Olivia's baby. I'm wearing a diaper for a reason.
I shifted my stance, pushing my feet out just a little wider as I closed my eyes. I should just pee. I wanted this. I was dreaming about this.
Olivia's hand dropped to my shoulder. "What about that one? It's cute."
"Stop for a second!" I said in an angry whisper as I pushed her hand away. "I need a minute!"
Olivia stepped to the side. "What are you-" She stared at my rosy cheeks, then looked at how I was standing. Her eyes lit up. "Ohhh."
Now she's watching! I can't go if she's watching me!
Olivia smiled and rubbed my back. "Just relax and let it happen sweetie. You'll feel better when you're all done."
"You aren't helping!" I shot back as I glared at Olivia. "This is so embarrassing!"
She shrugged. "You wanted back in diapers. This is part of what that means."
I closed my eyes and dropped my hands to the shelf in front of me. I leaned forward slightly, and as I held my breath, I pushed.
A small stream squirted out of me, tickling my skin before splashing against the liner. My eyes went wide before I clamped back down. And almost immediately, the diaper drank me up. The only proof that I'd peed a little was the small wet spot pressing against my lips. The inner liner felt softer now. Warmer too.
Holy shit. I did it. I actually just peed in a diaper...
"Don't force it out Lexi. That's how you leak."
I waved Olivia away as I ignored her advice. I pushed again. This time, my stream lasted twice as long before I reflexively clamped back down. I could feel the wetness spreading through the absorbent core. And every time I clamped back down, a huge cramp surged through me.
I need to pee!
Olivia's hand returned to my back, stroking me in small circles. I opened my legs a little wider and pushed one more time. And one more time was all I needed. When I felt myself clamping back down again, I relaxed and willed myself to keep going. It felt like a cork pulled free when I did. And as I stood in the middle of a crowded store, I filled my diaper with warm wetness.
My stream tickled on the way out. I felt it splash against the liner. Warmth rolled over my skin and the diaper grew heavy between my legs. I felt the tug on my hips, but the tapes kept everything in place. And when I finally finished, there wasn't a dry spot between my thighs. When I stood back up normally, I felt the diaper squish between them. It pressed against me, reminding me that I'd just peed myself.
"It feels weird doesn't it?" Olivia asked. "But also kind of good. Warm. Soft."
I bit my lip as I nodded. "I can't believe I just did that."
Olivia pulled me into a hug. Her hand drifted down my back, and slipped across my diapered ass. She squeezed my rear end as she held me close. "It gets easier every time. But it never stops feeling good."
My whole body tingled as she held me. My heart raced and cheeks flushed. I felt my nipples harden while my clit begged for attention. I felt so naughty, standing in a store after using my diaper. The heat from my pee radiated across my skin, and I wanted Olivia to change me as soon as possible, just so I could feel her touch between my legs.
I'm standing in a store wearing a wet diaper. I'm in the baby aisle in a wet diaper. I'm really not an adult anymore.
Olivia turned me back towards the wall of nipples. "You still need to pick out some bottles and a couple cute pacis."
"Shouldn't I change first? Isn't that how this works?"
Olivia patted my ass, squishing her fingers against the wet part of my diaper. When she stopped, she shook her head. "You aren't even close to needing a change."
"But I'm wet!"
She shrugged. "Not wet enough. Use it a couple more times and you'll be ready."
Her words sank into me. She's going to keep me in a wet diaper. She won't change me!
Olivia pointed back at the wall. "Pick. We have more things to buy."
I sighed as I pulled a pack of bottles from the shelf. Eight ounces each, with silicone nipples, the clear plastic bottles had fish and submarines dotting the outside.
"Interesting choice," Olivia said as she took the bottles from me. She pointed towards the pacifiers. "Pick at least two. Make sure they are the big nipples."
I took a little more time picking out pacifiers. And as I reached for one of the blister packs, my hands shook nervously. Whatever I chose, I'd be using soon enough.
I ended up with three pacifiers. One was white with a pink swinging handle. Hello Kitty decorated the button. The other two came in a pack. The Nuk pacifiers were simple but cute. One was pink and purple, the other was its exacted opposite. And across both shields, wavy gentle lines swirled across the plastic. The Hello Kitty paci had a silicone nipple, and the two Nuk ones were latex. I wondered what the difference was, but I knew I'd find out soon enough.
Olivia grabbed a few more things before we left the aisle. She pulled down another pacifier clip, and picked up a bottle brush before dropping everything into the cart. But we weren't even close to being finished. She walked me by the hand into a new aisle, filled with bibs and flatware on one side, and baby food on the other.
"Pick out some food. Whatever you think you'll like."
I stared at the wall. There were so many options. I didn't know which one to start with. After staring for a full minute, I decided to try a little bit of everything. My hand shook as I piled cups and jars of baby food into the crook of my arm. I had everything from apples to zucchini, and part of me couldn't wait to sample the mashed up food.
Why am I enjoying this so much?
"Go put the food in the cart Lexi. I'll be right there," said Olivia.
I dropped over a dozen containers of baby food into the front basket of the cart. I eyed everything nervously as I waited for Olivia. And when she popped out of the aisle, my nerves grew that much stronger. Because in her hands was a can of formula.
"Can't I just drink normal stuff?" I asked as I looked at the Simulac she was holding.
Olivia shook her head. "You're getting the full experience little girl. That pizza you ate was the last solid food you'll be having this weekend."
I looked down at the cart and stared nervously at the baby food. My breakfast, lunch, and dinner were all right there, sealed up in plastic and glass jars.
Can I even survive on nothing but baby food?
Olivia grabbed my hand and walked me back into the aisle. She stopped me in front of the bibs and I knew immediately what she wanted me to do. But before I could make a choice, she leaned down and grabbed a two pack of terry cloth bibs for me.
"I know I said I'd let you pick, but there are really only a few bibs that will fit properly." She held up the pack she picked out. "And I have to admit, I love the princess themes on these pull-over bibs."
They were the largest bibs on the shelf, and just like Olivia said, there were princesses on the front. Bell in her pretty yellow dress decorated one, and Cinderella in her ball gown was on the other. I wasn't sure they would have been the bibs I'd have chosen, but they were pretty cute. And if Olivia liked them, then I did too.
"One last aisle and then we can go," she said as she grabbed my hand.
It was the diaper aisle. I wasn't too sure why she'd pulled me over here, but I didn't say anything. Not until Olivia pulled down a box of Goodnights and handed them to me.
"What are these for?" I asked a
s I stared at the box. "I'm not sure I need a bunch of baby diapers."
She shook her head and tapped the front of the box. "Read the size restriction."
I looked at the corner where she was pointing. And my eyes went wide when I saw what she was talking about.
60 to 125 pounds? Why are these in the baby section?
Olivia squinted at me. "I'm guessing you weigh around 105, so you should fit into those no problem."
"Is this what I'm wearing this weekend?" I asked as I stared at the box. "They look kind of cute."
Olivia shook her head. "Those are only for when a real diaper would be inconvenient. You won't be wearing pull-ups around me very often."
"Then why are we buying them?"
Olivia smiled wickedly. "Well, you have a job right? Do you really want to wear a thick diaper to work?"
Wait... What?
I looked around to make sure we were alone. "I'm not wearing diapers to work!"
"I know. I just said that." She tapped the Goodnights box. "That's why we are getting you pull-ups."
My face turned beet red. "I'm not wearing pull-ups to work either! I can't be a baby all day!"
Olivia sighed. "Well, I can't make you wear them. It's not like I can follow you around all day."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you." I started to put the Goodnights back.
Olivia stopped me. "Hold on. I said I couldn't make you wear them. I didn't say we weren't going to buy them."
"I'm not going to wear them to work!" I said again. "I won't!"
Olivia took the box from me. "I'm still buying them. And if you keep acting out, I'll spank you as soon as we get to the car."
I closed my mouth quickly. The thought of another spanking sent chills down my spine. And the threat of getting punished like that in public was enough to tighten my tummy into a knot of pain.
"Go wait by the cart," Olivia said as she turned around to look at the baby care items. "I'll be there in a minute."
I sighed and walked back to the cart. As I waited for Olivia, I shifted my weight from foot to foot, squishing my wet diaper between my thighs. I stared at the cart, and I felt embarrassed that everything in the basket was for me. And even more embarrassed that I couldn't wait to try it all out.
I shouldn't like this! Why do I like this so much?!
Olivia came back with the last items and dropped them all into the cart. In addition to the Goodnights, she'd picked up a box of scented wipes, some baby powder, and a tube of diaper rash cream. I swallowed nervously as I looked at all of the supplies.
I hope I don't need the cream. I blinked my eyes, trying to clear my head. If I wasn't wearing a diaper, there wouldn't even be a chance of needing it.
"You okay?" asked Olivia as she stared at me. "You look a little green."
I stared back into the cart and felt my heart race. When I looked back up at Olivia, my hands were shaking. "I just... This is a lot all at once. I'm freaking out a little bit."
Olivia stepped away from the cart and pulled me into a hug. I dropped my head to her chest while she stroked my back slowly.
"I don't expect you to enjoy everything right away," she said as she held me. "But I want you to trust me. I won't make you do anything I don't think you're ready for."
I looked back in the cart. "What else is there to do? You diapered me up. I used it. And now I'm giving up real food?" I looked up at Olivia. "Am I crazy? Normal people don't do this. Why am I letting you do this to me?"
"Every baby I've ever taken care of asked the same questions. It's hard to let go and just enjoy this for what it is."
I dropped my head back to Olivia's chest. "What does that even mean? This isn't normal."
She hugged me tight. "What's so great about being normal? Were you happier yesterday before you met me? Was a normal life working out for you?"
I thought back to my job. My school. My bills. None of it brought a smile to my face. They were all just sources of stress. I shook my head.
Olivia pressed me. "So being my baby girl makes you happier than being a normal girl with normal problems?"
I touched the snap bracelet I'd won at Chuck E Cheese. It was a ten cent toy, but picking it out from the prize case made me happier than any grade I'd ever gotten in school. And I couldn't deny how good it felt this morning, with Olivia's head between my legs. Or just how satisfying it felt to pee in my diaper just a few minutes ago.
I don't hate any of this. So why am I freaking out again?
Olivia answered my own question. "It's normal to be scared. This is all new. I'm asking you to trust me with your whole identity." She squeezed me tight. "All I can do is show you a path forward. It's up to you to walk it."
I took a breath, trying to calm my nerves.
Up to me. It's my choice.
But I didn't feel like it was. I didn't feel like there was a choice here at all. I didn't want to make the hard choices anymore. I just wanted things to be simple and easy. I wanted to be happy.
Olivia makes me happy. I want to make her happy too.
I pushed myself away from Olivia and smiled. "I'm better now. Just needed a second."
She kissed my forehead, then without a word, she pulled my hand back to the cart.
"Let's go pay for all of this, then we can have some real fun at my house," she said as she pushed us out of the baby section.
"Your house?" I asked. "We aren't going back to my apartment?"
Olivia shook her head. "We'll swing by so you can get your sheets out of the dryer, but I think you'll have more fun at my place."
I stared into the cart as we walked, thinking about all the things Olivia was going to do to me today. She was taking me to her house. Taking me away from everything I knew. My nerves flared back to life, but this time, I didn't freak out. Now I was imagining using everything in the cart. And with each new daydream, my smile spread just a little wider.
This is my choice, I thought as Olivia started loading up the checkout belt. And I'm choosing to be her baby.
Chapter Ten
Olivia didn't wait until we arrived home before she started babying me. After she buckled me into the backseat, she reached into the shopping bags and pulled out the pacifier clip along with the two-pack of Nuk pacifiers. I watched quietly as she opened the package, then secured one of the pacifiers to the paci clip.
"This stays in your mouth unless I say otherwise, understood?" she asked.
I nodded nervously, and when Olivia pushed the pink and purple paci to my mouth, I let the nipple between my lips without complaint. I sucked on it experimentally, getting the feel for the nub in my mouth. My whole body tingled as the plastic shield dug into the corners of my lips when I pulled on the nipple.
Olivia clipped the pacifier holder to my dress and stood back, looking down at me with a large smile. "You look so cute right now."
She took out her phone and took another picture of me. My cheeks burned brightly when she turned the phone around so I could see myself. With my pigtails and no make-up on, I already looked young. I would have never guessed there was an adult behind the nervous smile on screen.
With the pacifier in my mouth, I would have pegged the girl in the photo as maybe five or six.
I caught Olivia looking back at me the whole drive to her house. I shifted nervously in my seat, wondering what we would do together when we finally arrived. And every time I moved my hips, I felt the squishy wetness between my legs. I silently hoped that the first thing we did was change my diaper, but Olivia had already told me I wasn't wet enough.
I can fix that problem, I thought to myself as I sat up a little straighter. There wasn't a built up urge this time, but I didn't care. As I sat in the backseat listening to the radio, I spread my legs a little wider and dropped my palms to the seat. I sucked hard on the pacifier as I pushed, forcing out a steady stream of warmth into my already wet diaper.
I could get used to this, I thought as the wetness spread out once again. The tormenting tickle of my strea
m put a smile on my face. After making sure Olivia wasn't watching, I slipped a hand under my skirt and pressed my palm to the seat of my diaper. As I peed, I felt the warmth spread outwards under my hand.
Peeing in my diaper like it's no big deal. Just another day in the life as a baby.
I hadn't needed to pee when I started, but once I got going, I didn't stop until I was empty. I pushed my fingers against the squish experimentally, then nodded to myself as I closed my legs. I was sure I'd gone enough to earn a change now. I could feel the wetness half way up my rear end, and towards the end of my second soaking, I could tell the diaper was having trouble absorbing me quickly. I felt pee puddles pool near my legs. Those tickled worst of all.
"What are you so happy about?" asked Olivia as she stared back at me through the rear view mirror.
"Nothing. Just enjoying the ride," I replied. I smiled wider when I heard my words slur a bit because of the paci in my mouth. "Are we almost there?"
"Almost. Just a few more minutes."
She wasn't lying. Two minutes later and we pulled off the main road. A minute after that and she pulled the car into the driveway of a two story house. I stared out the window at the large home, and if I hadn't been sucking on my pacifier, I would have stared slack jawed. Olivia's house was big. Really, really big.
"Like it?" she asked as she unbuckled me. "I saved up for a couple of years for this place."
"Only a couple?" I asked as I got out of the car. I couldn't believe she'd gone from my one bedroom apartment to a four bedroom mini mansion.
"What can I say, being a Mommy pays the bills." She chuckled as she unloaded all of the supplies we'd bought at the store. "And I get to write off part of the house as a business expense. It works out well."
I couldn't wait to see inside. But Olivia wasn't going to let me go in empty handed. She pulled me over to the trunk and gave me the bag of baby food to carry. But when I started walking towards the front door, she stopped me.
A Curious Baby Girl Page 8