More to This

by Tess Keeler

  “I need to tell you something.” She kept her eyes closed for a few long moments, only to open them and meet his gaze.

  His eyebrows lowered with concern, and she took in a shaky breath as he replied, “Okay.”

  “I’m…” She clenched her jaw, forcing herself to tell him. “I’m pregnant, H.”

  1

  More to This

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Henley

  “You’re what?” Henley asked.

  She was still in his arms, but it was as if his body was floating. He had heard her, but how? They had been safe—he was always safe. He had slept with a lot of women, and not once had he ended up reproducing. Why now? Why her? Of all the women he had been with, he should be glad it would be Everly. They weren’t ready for a baby. They were still exploring their relationship, and Henley knew how much their future meant to them. Everly wanted to finish school and be successful. He would be the reason her plans fell short, and he would hate himself for it.

  “Please don’t make me say it again,” she said, a little lower than the last time.

  The desire he had to take her in their new home had disappeared in an instant. He wet his lips. “Are you sure?”

  “I took two tests, both saying the same thing.” Everly was looking down between them, avoiding his eye contact.

  A cold sweat broke out all over his torso, but he tried to keep himself composed while he processed. He shook his head as he tried to think about them being irresponsible at any point.

  “How?” he asked, nothing but a screaming silence found in his memories.

  “If I had to guess, New York? Or we’re that unlucky 2%.” Everly leaned her head against the curve of his neck as she replied.

  “Unlucky…” he said slowly, trying to grasp if that was how she felt about it. He thought about New York as the word played in the open air between them. Had he used a condom that night? He remembered being so intoxicated by her presence that they collided, an unstoppable force. They fluidly moved right into making love, and he never left the bed to grab anything. He gasped, his fingers digging into her lower back. “I didn’t use a condom.”

  Henley felt her move her head, and he looked down to find her eyes on him again. “We were too wrapped up in each other. I didn’t even think about it, either.”

  “You shouldn’t have to think about it. That’s my job.” Henley said, grimacing at himself. “Does Mason know?”

  “He’s the one that brought the possibility to my attention,” Everly said, the hand on his chest playing with his tank top.

  Henley nodded with his lips pursed. Did they have to figure it all out tonight? His chest was tight, and he was using her warmth around him to center him, to feel like a person in their own body.

  “How are you feeling?” Henley asked. “Mentally.”

  “Confused. Torn. Scared.” Her dark brown eyebrows pulled together to form one. “You?”

  “Confused,” Henley agreed. “Surprised. Sad.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. I fought with myself to even tell you tonight. I wanted you so bad, and I needed to feel that comfort. But I was worried if I didn’t tell you now, that I might not have the strength to tell you later.” The sorrow in her words destroyed him because, with the exception of their time handling the bonfire incident, they had a lighthearted, fun relationship. They were flirty and teasing.

  “Everly, no. You have no reason to apologize.” He grabbed her biceps gently and stepped back, to really look at her. “What are we going to do?”

  “I don’t know, H. I mean,” He released one arm as lifted it to run her fingers through her hair. “We’re living with my parents. We’re only a couple of years into school.” She paused as they both dropped their arms to their sides. “We’ve never even talked about our future together, either. Do you even want kids?”

  Henley pushed on his eyes. They were in over their heads. Three months wasn’t enough time to be selfish with each other, to learn everything there was to learn. He didn’t think he could be a good father. “I don’t even know,” he whispered. “I never thought about it. Do you?”

  “Someday.”

  The pressure on his eyes disappeared, and a white blur interfered with his vision for a minute. When he could finally see her clearly, he studied her expression. He thought of the lavender scent she left on his pillow and how happy he felt in bed the days after she left with the silent reminder that she was his. He didn’t want to jeopardize that again. What could deciding the fate of a baby do to them?

  “But not now?” he asked for clarity.

  She placed her face in her hands, the sound of her words muffled. “I don’t know.” He heard them, but it made his heart fall into his stomach.

  They were in a brand-new relationship. Moving in didn’t mean forever. A child did.

  He took a deep breath and tried to bounce them back into the celebration of their new living arrangement—if it was something she was still excited about. Grazing her side with his fingertips, he stepped a little closer to her. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow. Tonight, we’ll order Chinese food and we’ll watch a movie. How does that sound, baby?”

  “Sleeping on it might be a good idea. I’ll set a doctor’s appointment, and we can go from there.”

  Henley agreed with her, nodding his head for what felt like the millionth time since they locked the two boys out of the house. The shock was still present and nagging at him. “I think that sounds good.”

  He swallowed the lump in his throat and informed her that he would order the food if she picked out a movie. He grabbed them both a cherry coke, and they joined on the couch once everything was set up and in place for the night. He lifted his arm for her to curl into him, and as their bodies met, their minds had never felt further apart. He placed a lingering kiss on her neck and dragged his lips to her ear, “I’m so sorry, Ev.”

  —————————————————————————

  The sound of his own sobs was echoing in his head, and he was sure Pierson must have hung up on him by now. “Are you there?” Henley managed through his sniffles.

  “Of course,” he said, monotone. As always.

  “Pierson, why her? I just messed up her future. Because I was dumb enough to forget the most important part of our first time.”

  His head was pounding in a way he didn’t know was possible. He thought talking to his brother would make him feel better. It didn’t help like he hoped.

  “I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”

  Henley huffed, his eyes nearly swollen from all of the tears he had shed in the last 20 minutes. He looked around his staged room, imagining it as a nursery. The summer had flown by. It was August, and he and Everly had classes again. Being a student and a new parent would be exhausting, and they for sure would lose the momentum toward their degrees. She was taking one more than him, which meant he was home by himself for a day. He would probably spend it on homework anyways. It was his first full day in her parents’ home, and if it weren’t for the news, he would have adjusted fine.

  “Not helping,” Henley said, trying to avoid giving him his favorite f-word.

  “At least it was Everly and not some one night stand.” Pierson sighed through the line. “You say you love her, but if you weren’t prepared for the possibility of this, why did you move in with her? That seems like a commitment to a future to me.”

  “We want to finish school. Be selfish with each other.” Henley let his teeth grind. “I do love her, though.”

  Henley had never thought about what would come after they had been together for a while. Everly was a first for him, and now that he was forced to really think about what he wanted out of his life and their life, he could see them with children. But he still pictured it when they had careers. When they were done doing drugs and having lots of sex. When they were done traveling the world, which was something he planned to do with her, he would be happy to raise children with her. He had never experienced feelin
gs for anyone the way he had with her--beyond the relationship he had with Victoria and his series of one night stands. She helped him grow into a better person, challenging him to accept that being an asshole not only hurt everyone involved with him, but himself too.

  “Consider not fucking like bunnies then,” Pierson said, in his typical don’t give a fuck tone.

  “You should try it sometime,” Henley suggested. “It might fix your jerk-ish personality.”

  “Sure, Hen.” A long, uncomfortable pause left so many questions to remain. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks. Talk to you later.”

  Henley hung up and paced around the room, his phone held in both hands against his chest. He still was no closer to having an answer for Everly about what he wanted to do. He could only hope that she knew what was best for her and her body. Aborting didn’t seem like an option to him, but it was ultimately up to her if she went through the pregnancy. Pregnancy. His entire frame shook at the thought. He could become a dad. At 20.

  He scrolled through his phone and rested on his father’s contact. It had been months since they had spoke—both too busy. Was he ready to tell him? There was no way he was prepared to inform his mother. Would Everly be mad if he discussed it yet? What if she did want to forget this ever happened and get rid of it? He kept scrolling and highlighted Everly’s name. Instead of hitting the phone icon, he hit the message one.

  I hope you’re feeling okay today.

  He was an idiot with no knowledge of how to properly speak to people. Even fucking Everly. But he let his thoughts flow.

  I just want you to know that I’m not going anywhere, no matter what decision you think is best for you. For us. We will get through this.

  Send.

  Instead of spending the rest of the day moping, he cleaned up what little mess they had made, took care of Lyric, who seemed to always be sleeping somewhere he couldn’t find her. Then he spread out on the living room floor with his books and studied until his girlfriend walked through the door a few hours later.

  “You didn’t text me back,” she said, the same worry and concern they both wore the day before still all over her face.

  “I’m sorry. I got distracted,” Henley said, standing to meet her as she sat her bags down. “I can read it now.”

  He looked around for his phone after stepping around his books, and she placed a hand on his arm. “I can tell you now.”

  Their eyes met, and Henley felt his heart race. He should have just read the text, because hearing her say it would feel much worse.

  “I feel okay. I set an appointment for us.” Henley lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. More for himself, probably. A tornado was creating a path inside of him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Yes,” Henley said, without hesitation. He wanted to know how she felt.

  Henley held onto her hand, intertwining their fingers as the fell between them.

  “Abortion is not an option,” Everly said, her voice stern and gentle in the same breath, if that was possible.

  “I’m relieved to hear that,” Henley admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

  Everly’s eyes widened slightly before she placed her free hand on her chest. “I don’t know if we should keep it. I don’t know if we’re ready for that.”

  “We don’t have to make every decision today.” Henley wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. Inhaling her scent in only to release with his next set of words. “I don’t know what I would have done if you wanted to terminate it. I’m not… strong enough for that.”

  “Neither am I.” They fell apart long enough to sit next to each other on the couch. Henley stared ahead of them at the entertainment center and large TV, just listening to her as she spoke. “Since carrying to term is the only option, how do you feel about adoption?”

  “I’m not against it. If we found the right family,” he answered, his heart palpitating in his chest.

  “You’re not ready to do this with me, are you?” she asked after a few moments. It was almost painful when it came out. “You know you can be honest with me. If you wanted to keep it or abort it, I want you to be able to tell me. We’re in this together. That’s what a relationship is.”

  “I know that,” Henley said, possibly a little too short. “I don’t want to ruin your future.”

  “You are my future.”

  1

  More to This

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Everly

  Noah sighed into the phone. Everly waited for the worst, even though the silence was pretty excruciating.

  “I wanted to tell you in person, but I didn’t know when I’d see you next,” Everly added, trying to get her father to say something to her— anything.

  “Lee, I’m not necessarily surprised. You two seem very serious about each other, moving in together is a big step. I’d be naive to think you two weren’t expressing your feelings in other ways.”

  The fun-loving tone was replaced with one of calm understanding. How did she get lucky enough to have a father like Noah?

  “Thanks for understanding. Are you disappointed?” She asked cautiously, resting her face in her hand as she waited for his answer.

  “Not at all. Do I wish you two would’ve been more careful? Sure. But it doesn’t make me disappointed in you. You’re a good kid. You’ve never gotten into any trouble, and you’ve had to do a lot of your teenage years alone. We’re lucky this is the only thing we’ve had to face with you.”

  Everly let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. “Thanks, dad.”

  “Of course.” He said before a pause. “Have you and Henley talked about your options?”

  She processed it a moment. “We can’t abort it, dad. I can’t.”

  “I get it. I wouldn’t be able to stomach that thought, either.”

  “We don’t know what to do,” she admitted, feeling tears well up in her eyes. “I’m so in love with Henley, dad. Part of me can’t imagine not keeping it.” Her hand drifted to her belly, her fingers spreading over it. “I couldn’t part with them unless the family was someone I could trust taking care of them.”

  There was a long bout of silence, with the exception of the commotion on the other end of the line.

  “You know who would be great parents?” Her dad finally asked.

  She bit back her lip, letting it slowly fall from her teeth before she answered him. “Who?”

  “River and Aiden.” He gave her a second to process it before continuing. “They would have to adopt eventually anyway.”

  They were two very wonderful and loving people. Would they be interested in being parents, though? “Are they talking about adopting?”

  “No. But, I could feel them out and see if they were a viable option?”

  Everly couldn’t help but think about New York, and how in love they were. She knew River better than she knew Aiden, but with how River used to reminisce about Aiden while they were separated made Everly feel like she knew Aiden at least a little bit. After River had moved back, and they reconnected, she had finally gotten to meet Aiden in person. The couple was practically inseparable; while Everly was visiting her dad as he recorded, River had surprised Aiden with a workspace above the studio. She remembered wondering if she’d ever love someone like that.

  Now she knew that she would. Because she loved Henley like that.

  “If you want to, sure. I’ll talk to Henley about how he feels about it. We can go from there.”

  ————

  Everly had made dinner for them, wanting to surprise Henley with something nice before she brought up anything regarding the pregnancy to him. It was almost six before he got there, and she had the table set up with candles and wine, garlic bread and her favorite dish to make: lasagna.

  “What’s the special occasion?” Henley asked, his lips twitching with an uncertain smile as he put his bag on the couch. She could see the candles flickering in his light eyes, and she smiled at him.
Wrapping their fingers together, she led him further into the dining area.

  “What? I can’t do something nice for you without reason?” She teased, smiling back at him.

  “I’m definitely not used to this.”

  She stopped right before the table, turning to face him. Using the open plaid shirt to pull him into her, she fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Well, you will get used to it.”

  “Hm, I don’t think I ever will. Nor will I get used to this look you're giving me.” He shook a little, mocking a shiver.

  She shook her head at him. “Do you not like it?” Sticking out her bottom lip, she looked up at him and watched his eyes glance all over her face.

  “I love it.” He paused, wrapping his arms around her until his hands rested on her lower back. “How could I get used to something I never thought I deserved?”

  “You deserve all of this and more.” She rested both hands on his face, lifting up to kiss his lips sweetly.

  He kissed her back, lingering until they needed to take a breath. “Ready to eat?”

  “Alright, change the subject. I hope you’re hungry.”

  “I am.” He pulled out her chair as they approached the table. She smiled at him as he moved to take his own seat. “How was your day?”

  She reached over and poured the wine into Henley’s glass, she had a water waiting for her.

  “It was okay. Productive. I got home with enough time to do this.” She used her hand to present it to him. “How was yours?”

  “I’m glad.” He smiled at her as he grabbed a piece of garlic bread. “The presentation I did last week was graded, and I am maintaining As in all classes.”

  She had just taken a bite out of her own piece of bread, so she covered her mouth to finish chewing. “I’m not surprised, you’re very smart. That’s great, baby.”

  Not expecting him to answer, she watched him look down at his food before looking through his eyelashes at her.