Always Mine

by Cheryl Holt

  “Not often.”

  They were strolling arm in arm, bundled in cloaks and hats, their noses red from the cold wind. They’d walked to the village outside Selby so Sarah could show her the Blake section at the cemetery. She’d seen her father’s grave for the first time, and it was a precious gift she would always cherish.

  They were headed home, enjoying the brisk air and solitude. Everyone at the manor was glad they’d been reunited, glad Rebecca had arrived, so it was difficult to chat privately.

  “Noah told me a secret about you,” Sarah said.

  Rebecca frowned. “I’m barely acquainted with him. How could he have learned any of them?”

  “Alex spilled the beans.”

  “Those two are thick as thieves.”

  “They’re planning to join the army together in a few years,” Sarah said. “Then, after they have stellar careers as soldiers, they’re starting an exploration company like the one Sir Sidney had. Noah will be the leader, and Alex will be his second in command.”

  “That’s not a bad idea, although I can’t imagine how they’ll afford it.”

  “Did I mention that Sebastian is disgustingly rich?”

  “I believe you did.”

  “He’ll take care of it. And if he won’t, I’ll nag at Nathan so he pitches in.”

  Rebecca sighed with contentment. “People here are so kind. I should have staggered in a decade ago.”

  “Back then, you wouldn’t have received much of a welcome. From Nathan especially. He wouldn’t have remembered you.”

  “What was the secret Noah told you?” Rebecca asked. “My past has been so boring. It can’t have been too shocking.”

  “He tells me you know Raven Shawcross.”

  Rebecca missed a step, and Sarah leapt to steady her.

  “Yes, I’ve met Mr. Shawcross.” Her tone was very bland.

  “Alex revealed to Noah that you were very close friends.”

  “We might have been.”

  Sarah halted and pulled Rebecca around to face her. “How close is close?”

  “Ah…cordial?”

  “You expect me to accept you were cordial with that handsome rogue?”

  Rebecca’s cheeks flushed with shame. She’d only just arrived at Selby, had only just bonded with her siblings. She couldn’t bear to confess how she’d disgraced herself with Mr. Shawcross. To her sister in particular.

  She doubted Sarah would judge her, but when she was working so hard to fit in, it would kill her to dampen the esteem that was building. How could she admit she’d allowed herself to be seduced by a scoundrel? Yet at the same time, she was terrified about how the future might unfold.

  She’d engaged in marital relations with Mr. Shawcross precisely once, and she’d always been unlucky. What if she was increasing? What if she had to inform her new-found brother that she was in the family way? If that humiliating moment ever occurred, she’d throw herself off a cliff.

  “Mr. Shawcross was a member of the Sinclair expedition team,” Sarah said.

  “I’m aware of that.”

  “He, Sebastian, and Nathan are great chums.”

  “Yes, I suppose they would be.”

  “Before I married Sebastian, I stayed at his home of Hero’s Haven for a bit, so I know Mr. Shawcross too. So does Noah. It’s why he apprised me of your connection.”

  “What was your opinion of him?” Rebecca asked.

  “He was a conceited, pompous, ridiculous ass. He constantly shouted at me and ordered me about, and I couldn’t abide him. But that’s just me. What is your opinion?”

  “It’s pretty much the same as yours. Initially, I thought he was fascinating, but after I learned more about him, I decided he was a fiend and a liar.”

  “A fiend and a liar? That’s quite a description.”

  Rebecca was inconsolable over the loss of him, which was patently absurd. The last day at Carter Crossing, when she’d desperately needed his help, he wouldn’t provide it. Why then would she feel any regret or remorse about their parting? She ought to be ecstatic that she’d escaped his clutches! She ought to be celebrating!

  “Could we not talk about him?”

  “I think we have to.”

  “I can’t stand it.”

  “I’m going to ask you a question, and you have to answer truthfully: Are you ruined?”

  Rebecca was so mortified that she couldn’t reply. When she didn’t respond, Sarah’s query landed in her mind:

  You can’t hide what happened from me. Are you ruined?

  Yes, but I practically begged him to proceed.

  “Oh, you poor girl,” Sarah murmured.

  She wrapped her arms around Rebecca, and they hugged each other tightly, dawdling until they realized they were freezing and had to keep moving.

  “He broke your heart,” Sarah said.

  “Yes.”

  “Then I’ll hate him forever!”

  “I hate him too.”

  “Might you be increasing?”

  Rebecca blanched with dismay. “It’s too soon to be sure.”

  “Would you like to have him as a husband?”

  “Are you joking? Who would want such a stubborn, horrid man as a spouse?”

  “Who indeed?” Sarah mused. “Occasionally, Fate intervenes though, and we women don’t have a choice about how this sort of situation ends.”

  “We always have choices,” Rebecca vehemently insisted. “You won’t tell Nathan, will you? Or Sebastian? I’d die if they discovered how I’ve disgraced myself.”

  “Don’t worry. I won’t tattle. If they found out about this, they’d probably ride to Carter Crossing and murder him.”

  Rebecca chuckled miserably. “Considering how he treated me, that conclusion might please me very much.”

  * * * *

  “It’s about time you arrived.” Nathan grinned at Sarah and toasted her with his whiskey glass. “We got tired of waiting and started without you.”

  Sebastian toasted her too. They were in Nathan’s library, seated on comfortable chairs in front of a warm fire. It was chilly outside, and they were glad to be snuggled inside.

  “What took you so long?” Nathan asked her.

  Sarah poured her own glass of whiskey, then came over and sat down across from him. “Rebecca and I tarried at the church, then we chatted on the way home.”

  “Where is she now?”

  “She was exhausted by our visit to the cemetery. It was emotional for her to see father’s grave. She went upstairs to have a nap.”

  “While you and Rebecca were walking, we heard some curious gossip from Noah.”

  Sarah didn’t react to his remark, making him suspect that she already knew what he intended to discuss.

  “That’s odd,” she said. “What gossip could Noah possibly share that would interest you whatsoever?”

  Sebastian answered her question. “It seems your old nemesis, Raven Shawcross, is closely acquainted with your Carter relatives.”

  “Yes, I recall Rebecca mentioning it.”

  “Evidently, he’s implementing all kinds of mischief with regard to them.”

  “Yes, he has a vendetta against my cousin, Beatrice, and her deceased husband.”

  “Raven’s parents lost everything when he was a boy,” Nathan said. “He never explained exactly what occurred, but I received the distinct impression that it was incredibly traumatic.”

  Sebastian said to Nathan, “When Sarah was still Miss Robertson and staying in my cottage at Hero’s Haven, she and Raven had a few altercations.”

  “A few!” Sarah huffed. “He is an arrogant bully, and I can’t abide him.”

  “Which brings us to Noah,” Nathan said. “He claims Raven and Rebecca were very friendly.”

  “Maybe,” Sarah blithely stated.

  “In fact, according to Alex, they might have been romantically involved.”

  Sarah stared right at him and said
, “I have no information about it.”

  “Liar. You should never play cards for money. Your face is an open book.”

  Sebastian scowled at her. “Did you promise Rebecca you wouldn’t talk about it?”

  “I don’t have any comment.”

  Sebastian smirked. “I’ll take that as a yes. And I concur with Nathan. You should never gamble.”

  “Is she ruined?” Nathan asked. “Will I have to insist on another fast wedding?”

  “I swore to Rebecca I would never betray her confidence,” she said, “so I will merely reveal that Noah and Alex might have divulged a pertinent problem that concerns me very much.”

  Nathan’s rage ignited. He was renowned for his wicked temper, and despite his wife’s best efforts, he couldn’t always tamp it down. But then, he deemed anger to be a very valid emotion, and some circumstances simply called out for a strident response. Why pretend otherwise?

  Sebastian asked, “Have either of you hard-headed Blakes thought about how strange all of this is?”

  “What do you mean?” Nathan said.

  “Well, you, Raven, and I traveled together for years. You found out you had two sisters—whom you didn’t remember having—and I ended up married to one of them. Now we’ve discovered that your other sister has wandered down the same path with Raven. What are the odds of that happening?”

  “I couldn’t calculate a number that high,” Nathan said.

  “Would Rebecca like to have him as her husband?” Sebastian asked Sarah.

  Nathan cut off Sarah’s reply. “Rebecca doesn’t get to decide. If he’s behaved badly toward her, he has to pay the appropriate price, and that price is matrimony.”

  “He can be so obstinate,” Sebastian said. “If he was opposed to the notion, who could make him proceed?”

  Nathan tsked. “Are you expecting you and I couldn’t persuade him?”

  “We might have to persuade him with our fists,” Sebastian pointed out.

  “I’m happy to pound on him,” Nathan said. “How about you?”

  Sarah scoffed with disgust. “You’re not going to beat him into submission and force him. I refuse to allow it. First, you have to discuss it with him and learn his opinion about her.”

  “And if he won’t willingly consent?”

  Her eyes flared with her own bit of temper. “Then you can thrash him until he agrees.”

  * * * *

  “Shawcross!”

  Lucas heard his name bellowed, and he glanced over to the door of his club. Clayton Carter was waving, anxious to get his attention.

  “Shawcross!” Clayton tried again.

  It was early in the evening, so the establishment wasn’t busy yet, but there were customers scattered about. They turned to look at who was creating the disturbance. Men mumbled and snickered.

  Poor Clayton! He struggled so valiantly to be liked and accepted, but the dissolute crowd where Lucas socialized had never embraced him. His antics at his birthday party had only made it worse. They existed in a world where dubious conduct was encouraged, but it was considered bad form to have others witness your foibles.

  It left your acquaintances with the sense that you were weak and couldn’t control yourself, which described Clayton exactly. The dolt had no allies. Well, he hadn’t actually had any to begin with.

  Lucas nodded to the ruffian guarding the door, so he let Clayton through. As he marched over, Lucas assessed him, thinking he was a tad frayed around the edges.

  He hadn’t shaved, and his coat was wrinkled and missing a button. The garment should have been given to his valet, but Lucas suspected Clayton didn’t have a valet anymore. How could he afford it?

  Servants weren’t stupid. No doubt his London footmen had abandoned ship.

  “May I help you, Mr. Carter?” Lucas didn’t stand to greet Clayton, but remained rudely slouched in his chair.

  “I was wondering if you could vouch for me.”

  “Vouch for you where?”

  “There’s been a mistake. I’ve been a member of this club for years, but they’re claiming I’ve been revoked.”

  “How embarrassing for you!”

  Lucas hadn’t invited him to sit, but Clayton grabbed a chair and sat anyway.

  “You have to assist me,” Clayton absurdly stated.

  “Why would I?”

  “Your brother caused this trouble. It’s only fair that you rectify my situation.”

  Lucas pretended to ponder, then shook his head. “Sorry. I’m not interested in aiding you.”

  “Shawcross! You have to!”

  “You’re looking a little desperate, Mr. Carter.”

  “Creditors are hounding me. My landlord has put a chain on the door to my lodging so I can’t even retrieve my clothes. My banker advises me that my accounts have been emptied. I can’t latch onto a single penny, no matter where I turn.”

  “Yes, I suppose the walls are closing in, aren’t they? Raven warned you about these dire consequences. You should have listened to him.”

  “If I could play cards, I’m sure I could win a few pounds—just to tide me over.”

  Clayton peered nervously at the guard. The man was watching his every move and would drag Clayton out if Lucas indicated he should.

  Most times, Lucas thought he hadn’t been swept up in Raven’s enjoyment of Clayton’s downfall, but apparently, there was a lot to enjoy after all.

  “Have you seen your sister, Mr. Carter?”

  “My sister?” Clayton asked the question as if he didn’t have a sibling.

  “Yes, Millicent? I’m certain you remember her.”

  “Why would I have seen her?”

  “She came to London with me. She’s been staying in my apartment, but she vanished. I figured she got sick of me and slithered over to stay with you instead.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Millicent wasn’t living with you.”

  “Yes, she was.” Lucas grinned. “I ruined her too.”

  “Liar.”

  “I often lie, but not about this. She was a pretty piece of work, and I relished her carnal company. I hope she’s all right. London is a dangerous place for a young lady on her own.” Lucas shrugged. “Maybe she headed home, although I can’t imagine how she expects to be safe there.”

  “Why wouldn’t she be safe at home with my mother?”

  “Your mother has been evicted, Mr. Carter. Have you forgotten?”

  “She couldn’t have been. I’m dealing with the problem. I’m hiring a lawyer, but legal proceedings are slow as molasses.”

  “Your mother’s been arrested.”

  “Arrested! What are you talking about?”

  “You should keep better track of the women in your life. Aren’t you the man of the family?”

  Clayton waved away Lucas’s remarks as if he’d been babbling nonsense. “Let’s play cards. Tell the oaf at the door that you’ll permit me to join you for a game.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  “I need funds, Shawcross! Your brother has destroyed me!”

  “When I was four,” Lucas told him, “my father was imprisoned. I didn’t understand why, but several weeks later, the sheriff came. He forced us out of our house, and we weren’t allowed back in. I had a little toy soldier I carried in my pocket, but I didn’t have it on me that day, and I never saw it again. The loss haunted me for years.”

  “You poor bugger!” Clayton snidely said. “I don’t care about the stupid toy you lost when you were four.”

  “No, you wouldn’t, would you? Your father’s crimes caused that to happen to me.”

  “What are you blathering on about? If you’re angry over that incident between our fathers from two decades ago, I can’t help you. I was a boy myself, and you ought to stop obsessing.”

  “Have you any clue of what sort of adult a child like that grows up to be?”

  “I can’t be held responsible for the sins of my father.”
/>   “What was your excuse for being a prick when you were nineteen?”

  Clayton frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Weren’t you nineteen when you seduced my sister, Lydia? You weren’t a boy then.”

  “Is that what this is about? You’re incensed about your sister spreading her legs for me?”

  “I wasn’t at first, but Raven convinced me I should be furious, and I’m livid. I persuaded your sister to spread her legs for me. Shall we call it even?”

  “Don’t lie about Millicent!”

  “Get out of here, Mr. Carter. You’ve exhausted my patience, and since you’re no longer a member, I don’t have to put up with your boorish presence.”

  “You Shawcross brothers think you own the whole bloody world.”

  “We own your tiny portion of it anyway, and you’ll never retrieve it from us.”

  “Yes, I will,” Clayton sneered. “I have a trump card up my sleeve that will make your brother return everything to me.”

  “Let me guess: My nephew is alive and well. He didn’t die with his mother, and he’s been residing at Carter Crossing.”

  Clayton was dumbfounded. “How did you know that?”

  “We’re not dunces, you dunce. Were you hoping to trade him? Might you have presumed—quite wrongly—that Raven would give you money in exchange for custody?”

  Clayton gulped, proving that, yes, that was precisely what he’d assumed.

  “I’ve supported that bastard for nearly ten years,” Clayton said, “so you owe me plenty. I shall be suing for full reimbursement.”

  “Mr. Carter, you just might be the most unpleasant person in the kingdom.”

  Lucas rose suddenly, shoving back his chair so forcefully that it wobbled the table. His glass and liquor bottle went flying.

  “Stand up, Clayton,” Lucas said.

  “I don’t take orders from you. Sod off.”

  “My brother is in the alley. He’d like to speak to you.”

  “Your brother can choke on a crow.”

  Clayton pushed himself up, his balance unsteady, and Lucas supposed he was inebriated, which was his usual state.

  “When Raven declared himself ready to implement his revenge,” Lucas said, “I figured it wouldn’t be very much fun, but it’s been very entertaining.”