The Dating Plan

by Sara Desai

  “It’s never too late,” Seamus said, puffing out his barrel chest. “I’ll be sowing oats until I’m lying in my coffin.”

  Liam introduced Daisy to his relatives one by one. Aside from a few polite questions about her job, they were more interested in their own snarky banter than getting to know her. Unlike her family in a “meet the potential partner” situation, she didn’t have to sit in the middle of the room and field questions about everything from her favorite foods to her religious and political views. Liam’s relationship with her was clearly Liam’s business and they accepted his choice.

  It was refreshing, but at the same time she had a feeling that if something went wrong, Liam would be on his own. By contrast, when Nasir Uncle had been recovering in the hospital from heart surgery, the entire family had gone to see him. She’d often found her family suffocating, but would it really be better to be left alone?

  “Brendan!” Fiona called into the kitchen. “Forget the booze. Come and meet Liam’s new fiancée.”

  Daisy turned as Liam’s brother walked into the room. Shorter than Liam by about two inches, with the same wide shoulders but on a stocky frame, Brendan was an older, more rugged version of his brother. Individually, his features were rough, but together, with his thick blond hair and the same intense blue eyes as Liam, he had a dangerous appeal.

  Brendan’s gaze flicked from Daisy to Liam and his voice was pure disdain. “Christ, I can’t believe you are actually carrying out this charade. What total bullshit.”

  “Bullshit,” Jaxon repeated, his eyes wide with delight. “Fecking bullshit.”

  Brendan puffed out his chest. “See, even a child knows it’s a load of cr—”

  “Brendan!” A slight, fair-haired woman ran out of the kitchen and scooped Jaxon up. “Not in front of Jaxon.”

  “Is this true?” Fiona asked after a protesting Jaxon had been quickly carried upstairs.

  “We are engaged.” Liam put his arm around Daisy’s shoulders. “I’ve known Daisy for almost twenty years, but it was Grandpa’s death that made me realize life is too short to waste.”

  Damn, he was impressive. Daisy had never mastered the art of lying on cue. Deceit required imagination and improvisation and she leaned toward logic and planning.

  “That is so true,” Roisin said. “The world is a lonely place full of lonely people. If you find someone you can connect with, someone who can take you out of yourself and bring you joy, you can’t let it go. My shaman felt that connection with me after we drank our ayahuasca brew.”

  “I’m sure he did,” Fiona muttered. “A close and intimate connection.”

  “Then why wasn’t she at the funeral?” Brendan challenged. “Or the wake? Why did you never bring her to meet any of us? You didn’t say anything until you found out Grandpa had given the distillery to me.”

  “We were . . .” He trailed off and Daisy panicked, terrified he wouldn’t be able to wing this one. What could she say? What made sense? She wasn’t good with making things up. Maybe something close to the truth.

  “He cheated on me.” She blurted out the words, her heart pounding so hard she could barely hear through the rush of blood in her ears.

  Liam stared at her in shock. “You don’t have to—”

  “With Madison. My old boss.” She’d put her foot in it now, might as well keep going with a story she knew.

  “I had to quit the job I loved.” She felt both relief and dread when Liam didn’t interrupt, leaving her the center of attention. “We were on a break, but I brought him to the company picnic hoping to reconcile, and he hooked up with Madison.”

  “Poor love.” Roisin patted her hand. “Men. Always thinking with their cocks.”

  “Roisin! For feck sake,” Seamus said. “Watch your language. She’s just a wee girl.”

  “She’s not that wee.” Roisin gave Daisy an appraising look. “She knows what a cock is or she wouldn’t be with our Liam. Isn’t that right?”

  “Um . . .” Daisy’s brain had cock on repeat and she couldn’t form any words. She’d never heard the word cock uttered once in any Patel family gathering. Nor a single swear word. She’d never even had a conversation about sex with anyone in her family, except with Layla.

  “Look at her face.” Fiona clucked her tongue like a mother hen. “She’s only here five minutes and you’re already on about cocks. Give her another drink before she faints dead away.”

  “He’s a young man,” Seamus said. “You can’t blame him for wanting a bit of a rightie. It’s a hardship looking as good as Liam and me. The ladies are always wanting a piece of you. Some weekends I had so many, I wore myself out.”

  “Jesus Christ.” Fitz groaned. “We’re going to scare the girl away. She’ll think we’re all crazy.”

  “You know what’s crazy?” Roisin said. “An ayahuasca trip. That’s crazy. The first night I took the brew I saw myself floating in Ma’s womb. And then I had the purge. In a communal tent. I had to get on all fours because it was coming out both ends and I couldn’t reach the buckets. And the force. It was like a fire hose. I ripped a hole in the side of the tent and hit a tree ten yards away. Felt like pure acid. I couldn’t sit for a week.”

  “Why are we talking about Aunt Roisin’s crazy ayahuasca trip?” Brendan raised his voice in frustration. “The bigger issue here is a fraudulent marriage.”

  Fitz held up his hands palms forward. “It’s their relationship, their business. Just like your aunt’s psychedelic hallucinated shit is her business even though she has to bring it up in every conversation.”

  “It was all over me,” Roisin continued. “I didn’t hallucinate that.”

  “I thought you just said it was all over a tree ten yards out of the tent.” Fitz crossed his arms over his chest.

  “That was the second time. The first time I hit the shaman.”

  Fitz shook his head. “I’m not going to ask what he was doing behind you. Why can’t you just get an office job? I would be thrilled to hear stories about accounting errors or missing pens.”

  “I’m going to get Daisy a drink.” Liam pulled Daisy toward the kitchen, although she wasn’t in a hurry to leave. His family took bluntness to a whole new level.

  “I’m sorry,” he said when they were alone in the pretty country kitchen. “They’re fine one on one. It’s just when they get together . . .”

  “I thought my family was very open, but compared to your family they are positively repressed.” She glanced up at the door. “Do you think they bought it?”

  “Honestly, they wouldn’t care except that they seemed relieved I’m not going to turn out like Seamus.”

  “What about Brendan?”

  She heard a snort by the door. “Yeah, bro. What about Brendan?”

  * * *

  • • •

  “WHO the fuck is she?” Brendan swaggered into the kitchen. “I want the truth.”

  Liam’s anger rose quickly, a mix of protectiveness and irritation that their quiet moment had been interrupted. “Get out, Bren. You’re drunk.”

  “Is she some hooker you picked up in the Tenderloin?” He turned to Daisy. “What’s he paying you, honey? I’ll double it if you get the hell out of here.”

  Liam had Brendan up against the wall before his brain had even processed he had moved. His hand tightened around Brendan’s throat, cutting off his air. “Don’t you ever disrespect her again.”

  “Why? Because it’s real? Because you finally found a woman who could put up with your shit and you’re in love?” Brendan spluttered, struggling to breath. “This is fraud, and if you insist on playing this out, I’m going to hire a stable of lawyers and destroy you and your damn wh—”

  “Fiancée.” Daisy slipped her arm around Liam’s waist, gently tugging him back. He released Brendan, chest heaving as his blood pounded through his veins. Why was it always like this wit
h his brother? Why could they never get along?

  Brendan glared at Daisy. “What did he offer you? I want to know. How much does it cost to destroy a family?”

  Liam’s vision sheeted red. “You bastard.” He moved forward and Daisy grabbed the back of his shirt.

  “Wait.” She looked up at Brendan. “He didn’t pay me anything. Do you really want to turn this into something ugly? He’s your brother. Family is what holds us all together.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Brendan gave a bitter laugh. “You obviously don’t know my brother very well, or you would understand why I don’t believe this fake engagement in the least. He runs away from everything. His family. His friends. His commitments. There’s a reason he’s never had a serious relationship. Most women can see through the bullshit to the bastard underneath.”

  “You don’t know anything about me,” Liam spat out.

  Brendan grabbed one of the bottles from the table. “I know what’s going to happen. You’ll take the distillery like you took everything from me, and then you’ll abandon it and I’ll be left to clean up the mess.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “It’s the story of our lives.” Brendan’s face twisted in a snarl. “You spent all your time playing happy families somewhere else while I stayed at home, looking after Mom and dealing with all Dad’s shit.”

  “You did nothing to help her.” Liam fist connected with Brendan’s face, knocking his brother back against the table. Brendan returned the punch, making contact with Liam’s nose. Blood poured down Liam’s shirt. Eyes streaming from the pain, he slammed his brother’s head into the cupboards and received a punch to the gut in return. Moments later, Liam felt hands on his shoulders, pulling him back as Brendan threw fists and knees, trying to get him down.

  “Enough, you two.” Seamus shoved him toward the back door while Fitz pulled Brendan in the other direction. “Brendan. Go upstairs to your wife and get her to look after those cuts. And Liam, you’d best take Daisy home.”

  Outside in the cool air, and away from his hotheaded brother, Liam sat on the front step and took a deep breath. What the hell was Brendan on about? He’d never once stood up to their father. It was Liam who had taken the punches and verbal abuse. Liam who had finally gotten their mother away.

  “It sounds like your dad really messed you guys up.” Daisy sat on the front step beside him, a gentle hand on his shoulder.

  Liam rested his elbows on his thighs, dropping his hands between his legs. “He started drinking after he turned his back on the distillery to start his car business. Things didn’t go well and he was too proud to ask for help. Money was tight. He didn’t want a second kid. When my mom got pregnant he couldn’t accept that they’d have to go even further in debt, so he accused her of having an affair. That made me a no-good, worthless burden on the family. It didn’t help that I was an energetic kid, always getting into trouble and breaking the rules.”

  “I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been.” Daisy pulled a tissue out of her bag and dabbed at the cut on his forehead. “Kids just want to be loved.”

  “I just wanted him to stop beating on my mother.” His heart was still pounding, his control fracturing with each dredged-up memory.

  Her expression changed, softened. “It sounds like Brendan wanted that, too.”

  She was imagining things. This was Brendan, a man who’d watched his dad beat his mom and little brother and never once tried to intervene. “I’ve got good reasons for doing what I’m doing.”

  “Wouldn’t he say the same? He wants to sell the land to save his company and preserve what he sees as the family business. Maybe you’re not so different.”

  “You don’t know anything about my family. I’m nothing like Brendan.” He needed to leave. Get on his motorcycle and get away from this house. Away from Brendan. Away from the family who turned a blind eye to the abuse. Away from Daisy and her irritating analytical mind. He had too much to risk to let himself slide back into the past.

  As if she could read his mind, Daisy pushed to stand. “You seem to be okay,” she said in a clipped tone. “I should get going.”

  Fuck. Could he mess this evening up any worse? Life had been easier when he’d kept his distance from his family.

  “Daisy. Wait.” He caught up to her just as she reached her Mini, catching her arm before she could slip away. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . .”

  She shook off his hand. “I understand, Liam.”

  “Let me know when you get home so I know you’re safe.”

  “There’s no one here.” She fumbled in her purse for her key. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”

  Silence filled the space between them, his anger at Brendan fading beneath the weight of regret. Daisy was the only real thing in his life right now. The one person who made sense. He needed her strength, her calm. He needed her to know how much he cared.

  “Do it anyway. Please.”

  “Okay. I will.” She opened her car door. Hesitated. “Goodnight, humraaz.”

  Warmth rushed through him, filling the black hole in his chest. She wasn’t just his humraaz. She was so much more.

  • 17 •

  BREATHE. Breathe. Breathe.

  Daisy bent over, arms wrapped around her legs, and tried to focus on drawing air into her lungs. Her anxiety had spiraled out of control after her mother’s sudden reappearance years ago and she’d been through three therapists before she found one who was able to help. Focus on the breath. In for four. Hold for four. Out for four.

  Max had been unresponsive in his basket when she’d arrived to pick him up. While a panicked Mehar Auntie had searched the house for the source of his illness, Daisy had broken the sound barrier to get to the animal hospital, and the vet had taken him in right away. Mehar Auntie had arrived shortly after to let them know Max had gotten into her baking chocolate. Utterly devastated that he’d made himself sick while she dozed on her couch, she’d stayed to keep Daisy company while the vet pumped Max’s stomach.

  Mehar Auntie rubbed her hair. “He’s going to be okay, beta. The doctor said so. Let me take you home, and you can come back in the morning and pick him up.”

  Her voice caught, muffled by her lap. “I can’t leave him, Auntie-ji.”

  Thick black boots crossed the floor in front of her. She heard the squeak of leather, the groan of the plastic chair beside her, inhaled a whiff of fresh ocean air, and then Liam’s face was down beside hers.

  “How’s Max?”

  His unexpected appearance startled her out of her breathing rhythm and she shot up to sitting. “What are you doing here?”

  “I thought you might need a friend.”

  Seven words. They rippled through her body and settled in her soul.

  “He’s going to be okay.” She looked over at Mehar Auntie, who was watching them with interest. “This is Liam. We were visiting his family tonight.” After the vet had assured her Max would be okay, she’d somehow managed to send a quick text to Liam, never expecting he’d turn up.

  “The fiancé.” Mehar Auntie nodded and introduced herself to Liam. “Who is your family? What do you do? How do you know Daisy?”

  Daisy’s chest tightened as her anxiety peaked again, and she tried to squeeze in a few breaths. “This . . . isn’t . . . the time . . . for . . . an . . . interrogation.” She leaned forward and felt a gentle hand circle her neck. Warm and soothing, it made her feel curiously safe.

  “I’m sorry,” Liam said. “I shouldn’t have come. I thought you’d be alone. I didn’t mean to cause you more stress.”

  “It was nice of you to come.” She sat up, took the tissue he offered, dabbing away the tears. “It’s been a long time since I had an anxiety attack. I try hard to keep my life under control.”

  “I’m not judging.” His quiet, rumbling voice was calm and stea
dy.

  She nodded, pressing her lips together in case she blurted out something that would let him know that every time he opened his mouth the walls of ice that protected her heart melted just that little bit more.

  Mehar Auntie filled Liam in on the details. “The vet told her Max will be okay and she can go home. He’s sleeping now, so he isn’t in any pain.”

  “I can’t leave Max.” Daisy bent over again, hands fisted against her forehead.

  Liam stroked a gentle hand through her hair. “My mom had anxiety issues and it helped when I rubbed her back . . .”

  Daisy looked up at Mehar Auntie, who nodded, seemingly pleased rather than disappointed that someone was taking over her job. “Yes, please.”

  “Pleasure.” He put his motorcycle helmet on the empty seat beside him and stroked her back with slow, easy movements of his hand, never stopping, never tiring, until the attack crested and she could breathe again.

  “So you have a motorcycle,” Mehar Auntie said, her tone slightly curious.

  “Yes. It’s easier to get around the city.”

  “What club are you with?” she asked. “Are you full patch? I watched all of Sons of Anarchy, so I know what it’s about.”

  “Auntie-ji.” Daisy shot up again. “He’s not in a motorcycle gang. He just rides for transportation.”

  “You won’t be riding for transportation,” Mehar Auntie warned. “No Daisy on the motorcycle. If your father were here, he would say the same.”

  Liam chuckled. “I promise not to take her for a ride unless she asks.”

  “Can you do tricks?” Mehar Auntie tipped her head to the side. “Ajay Devgan did a full split on two moving bikes in Phool Aur Kaante, and then there were all the stunts in Hero—standing on the seat, five men on one bike.” She hummed under her breath, and Daisy felt a warning tingle in her chest.

  “No!”

  “Do you know the song ‘Ding Dong’?” Mehar Auntie jumped up, singing and dancing to the iconic song, albeit without her usual flair given the limited space.