London resumed breathing.
Janet shifted her gaze to London once again and smiled. “You’re a better woman than me, then. I was a shitty cop’s wife. I couldn’t deal with the stress and the hours. I’m glad he’s found someone more understanding.”
London was dumbfounded. All she could do was nod.
“Well, I need to get back to my meetings.” Janet looked toward Pierce again. “So good to see you. You look happy. Text me if you have some free time this week. Maybe the three of us could grab lunch or something. I know you’re busy, though.”
“Will do. Good to see you too,” Pierce responded.
“Nice meeting you,” Janet addressed London before she turned and walked back down the sidewalk.
Pierce didn’t move a single step until Janet was out of hearing range. He turned toward London and chuckled. “Did you just steal a play from my book and piss a circle around me? You were holding on to me and leaning in close as if you actually think of me as yours.”
“I might have.” She tugged on him to get him to move forward, uncomfortable with just standing on the sidewalk.
“Does this mean you’re going to consent to some kind of commitment?” he asked as she nearly dragged him down the sidewalk by the hand.
She rolled her eyes as she turned around. “We’ll talk about it.”
He continued to laugh, his eyes twinkling as he stopped walking, giving her hand a tug to draw her back into his embrace. His hands came to her face, and he tipped her head back. And then he kissed her long and deep and slow.
When he finally released her, she managed to find enough brain cells to ask the question burning in her head. “When did you get divorced?”
“Eight years ago. And I haven’t seen her since. Nor have I spoken to her. She moved to San Francisco after the divorce. I sold our small home and got a condo in the city. The only reason I haven’t discussed that part of my life with you yet is because I didn’t want you to feel like you had to reciprocate and discuss your marriage with me. I know it’s fresh and raw. You don’t owe me any explanations.”
A warm feeling seeped into London’s bones. His explanation made perfect sense. “No worries. Now, let’s eat. I’m starving.”
Chapter 14
Pierce waited until after they’d ordered breakfast and had coffee in front of them to set his elbows on the table and face her head-on. He’d known before they left her apartment that she probably intended to make some sort of statement because she’d been nervous from the moment she woke up. Their encounter with Janet had only put her more on edge.
“Talk to me.”
She fiddled with her napkin and then met his gaze. “I’ve been thinking.”
He waited, trying to control his racing heart. He would have been freaked out and scared out of his mind if they hadn’t just run into Janet, which forced London to show some of her cards. He was reasonably confident she wouldn’t kick him to the curb after the way she so publicly held on to him.
“I can’t really take credit for my decisions because both Rayne and my therapist have ganged up on me.”
Pierce worked hard not to fist pump. “In what way?”
“They think I should take a chance on you. They think I’m strong enough to know my mind and get out if it gets too stressful.” She bit her lower lip and held his gaze.
“What do you think?” He didn’t really care what Rayne or her damn therapist thought.
She took a long breath. “I think they’re right.” She shrugged. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m a hot mess, and the idea of dating makes me very nervous. It wasn’t on my list of things I ever wanted to do again. The battle wounds are deep.”
“But?” She’d done a great job of telling him why she shouldn’t go out with him. Now, he needed to hear the other side.
“But I like you, and I know you’re not my stupid husband. And I realize I’m being pigheaded. Just because I agree to an arrangement with you doesn’t mean I can’t get out of it later.”
He inhaled slowly. “You sound like you’ve decided to get a root canal.”
She swallowed. “Yeah, I guess I do. I didn’t mean it that way.” She looked down and then back up. “Look, this is hard for me. I’m trying.”
He reached across the table and took her hand in his. “London, nothing is ever going to happen between us that doesn’t have your consent. Nothing. And you’re a confident woman. I know you would never again fall for the kind of play Louis made when you first met him. It’s not me you need to have faith in. It’s you. You have to trust your instincts and believe you’re strong enough to walk away from anything that resembles abuse in the future.”
She nodded. “I know. You’re right.”
“It’s not monumental,” he added. “I’m only asking you to be monogamous with me. That’s it. I’m asking you to agree not to date other people while you’re sleeping in my bed. That’s it.”
“How does that extend to the club?”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with the club. You can do whatever you want there as long as you’re not intimate with anyone.” He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “I enjoy watching you play. It makes me hard. But I won’t share, and I don’t want other people getting you off.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that since you made your feelings on that subject clear to every single member.” She rolled her eyes dramatically, but she was smiling.
“I don’t care about the other members. I only care about you. Can you make that kind of commitment to me or not?”
She tucked her lips under, but held his gaze as she nodded. “Yes.”
He squeezed her head, the tightness in his chest letting up.
Their waiter arrived with excellent timing, and Pierce released her hand to let him set their plates down.
London picked up her fork and was staring at her plate when she spoke again. “May I ask what happened with Janet? She said she made a terrible cop’s wife. Is that why you got divorced?”
“You may ask me anything you want at any time. Never doubt that. I won’t keep secrets from you.” He took a deep breath and continued. “Frankly, the reason I got divorced is the same reason I haven’t pushed you harder, nor am I asking you for more than I have so far.”
London chewed a bite and narrowed her brows.
He smiled. “I wasn’t present with Janet. I was always working. It ruined our marriage. I drove her away because she couldn’t accept my disappearances. She ended up having an affair. I can’t blame her.” He sighed. “And the reality is, that part of my life hasn’t changed. I’ve spent a lot of time pondering how unfair it is to even ask you to commit to me. It’s greedy, and there’s a chance it will all go south the next time I’m called away suddenly, leaving you with no answers and no idea when I might return.”
London nodded slowly.
“It’s something I’ve been working on, but I haven’t managed to change my situation yet, so it’s simply self-serving of me to pressure you into dating me before I’m free to give you what you deserve. For that, I apologize. I’m drawn to you. I’ve tried to back off. I’ve tried to leave you alone. But I don’t like it. I end up tossing and turning at night, wishing I was with you.”
She set her fork down and wiped her lips. “I see. Were you a cop before you met Janet?”
“Yes.”
“So, what you’re saying is that your ex-wife married you, knowing your job situation, and then she didn’t like it when you did your job?”
“It’s not that simple. It doesn’t matter how well someone understands my job, when it comes down to it, it’s just too hard to maintain a relationship with someone when they’re never present.”
“I’m not buying it.” She shook her head.
He flinched. He had no idea what she was talking about. “What do you mean?”
She shrugged. “I don’t think it works that way. If Janet had truly loved you, she would have stayed and been more understanding.”
&nbs
p; “How understanding were you when I disappeared for six months?” he asked, lifting a brow.
She shook her head. “Not the same thing at all. We weren’t married. We weren’t even together. We’d spent one night in bed. I hadn’t even known that much about your job. Janet wasn’t the right woman for you. She probably cheated on you because she wanted out of the relationship. You were both young and probably didn’t communicate well. And”—she leaned forward, pointing a finger at him—“let me remind you that I was still here when you came back. I was confused, but not angry. I wouldn’t have even been confused if I’d had more information.” She picked up her fork and continued eating.
He blinked at her. “I was into you when I left. Really into you. I worried every day I would come back and find you with another man.”
She grinned. “And you did. You found me naked with another man, in fact.”
He chuckled. “True. But he wasn’t your man. He was just a man. I figured that out quickly.”
She wiped her lips and took a sip of coffee. “Pierce, I was into you also. You knew that on some level. I’m just skittish, and I can’t promise I can do commitment even now. I can only promise I’ll try.”
Her words made him nervous. “If you don’t think you can stay out of other people’s beds, then don’t make this commitment to me.”
She flinched. “Other people’s beds? That’s not what this is about. I would never cheat on you. That’s not the problem. It’s the other parts I’m worried about. It’s the way my blood pressure rises when someone tells me what to do. It’s the way I worry about losing my identity—the one I don’t even have. It’s the way it scares me to lose a piece of control over everything I do. Every day.”
Pierce suddenly understood her a little better. “London, I’m not trying to change you. And I realize you still have a lot of healing to do. I’m clear that it makes you nervous when you don’t think you’re in control and making your own decisions. I’ll try hard not to contribute to that. In return, all you have to do is point it out when I step over the line, and I’ll back off.”
“’Kay.” She held his gaze again, which was a huge step for her. “I never want you to worry about me cheating. That won’t happen. I have no interest in other men. The Doms at the club were only ever scratching an itch. I’m not the kind of woman who would sleep around.”
Relief flooded him. “Then I think we can work together.”
She laughed. “You say that like this was a job interview and I’m now hired.”
He smiled. “Not even close. I don’t want anything about being with me to feel like a job. Ever. We enjoy each other’s company, and for as long as that’s the case, we’re agreeing not to be intimate with anyone else. That’s all.”
The waiter came by and topped off their coffee.
Pierce watched as London adjusted the cream and sugar ratio, smiling at how well he knew some parts of her. There were plenty of things about her he knew nothing about, but he would learn more with time.
She took a sip of the steaming beverage. “What do you mean when you say you’re trying to change your job situation?”
“I’ve applied for another position in the department. Supervisor. It’s a longshot, though. Several people have applied. I have some seniority, but I don’t know if it will be enough.”
She glanced down, running a fingertip around the rim of her mug.
“What’s wrong?” How often would he be confused when trying to read her?
She cocked her head. “Did you do that because of me?”
He sighed, his shoulders dropping. He should have realized the implication. “Yes and no.” He needed to be honest. “I did it because I’m getting older and I’m tired of working undercover for months at a time. I did it because I know I can’t settle down with you or anyone at all until I make some changes. Perhaps meeting you triggered my desire to go for this promotion, but it’s not the only factor.”
“That puts a lot of pressure on me, Pierce.”
He leaned forward, grabbing her wrist. “I don’t mean for it to. Like I said, I’m tired. I need a change. Even if we break up tomorrow, I still need this change so I can move on to the next phase of my life.”
She stared at him. “You won’t be any good to me or anyone else if you leave a job you love under the mistaken belief that no woman is strong enough to stay by your side while you’re on an assignment.”
He squeezed her arm. “I promise that’s not the case. No matter how committed you or anyone else is, this is also about me. If I’m going to get involved with another woman, I need to make this change. There’s a clock ticking inside me, and I know I don’t want to let more years go by while I work as many hours as I have for the last fifteen years without putting enough of my attention into a relationship. I don’t want to be eighty and alone and look back and think, damn, I don’t have a woman by my side, but those fifty years of hard work were so gratifying.”
“I get it. I just want to be sure you’re not trying to change yourself for me. You have to do what makes you happy. You’re no good to anyone if you switch to a job you hate every day.”
He lifted her forearm, tugging her fingers from her mug and brought her knuckles to his lips. After kissing them, he spoke again. “Don’t stress over this. If I don’t even get an interview, this conversation is totally moot. What matters is you and I taking the tiny step forward as a couple.”
She tipped her head to one side and smiled slowly.
His heart raced as he wondered what was going to come out of her mouth next.
“I have one condition.”
“Anything.”
“We leave here right now and you take me to your condo and take full advantage of this monogamous arrangement. You’ve been teasing me for weeks. I want you inside me.”
Pierce lifted his gaze, found the waiter, and said the only thing necessary. “Check please.”
Chapter 15
It was a little warped for London to feel nervous about having sex with Pierce. It made no sense at all. They’d had sex before. Plus he’d made her come several times recently. Her nerves got to her anyway. It wasn’t even night. Hell, it was still morning.
Nevertheless, she was stressed as he led her by the hand to his second-floor condo in one of the nicer buildings in the Denver area.
As he opened the door, he grinned at her. “Warning. It’s small. But the location was important to me, and it’s one of the newer buildings, so I bought it.”
The first thing she noticed as they entered was how bright the inside was. It was a corner unit with two walls of windows. Streams of sunlight filled the open floor plan. The kitchen was very modern with a bar that extended out to give a small separation between it and the living room. Black leather furniture was arranged around a stone fireplace. A gigantic television was mounted over the mantle.
“What do you think?” he asked, still holding her hand as he dropped his keys on the corner of the bar.
“I love it.” She wasn’t kidding. It was much nicer than her even smaller apartment. Cozy. Bright. Modern.
He reached for the front of her coat and unbuttoned it before pulling it from her arms and then removing his own. He dropped them both on the back of the couch. “I get pretty good sunlight for most of the day. Granted the condos above mine have a much better view and more light, but…”
She laughed. “You don’t like heights.”
“Exactly. And as a bonus, the lower floors cost less.” He pulled her in close and wrapped his arms around her. His voice was deeper when he spoke again. “I’d give you a tour, but there isn’t much else to see. Master bedroom. Guest bedroom. Office. Guest bath. You’re not going to see any of that until after I’ve made you scream my name over the back of this couch about three times.”
She shuddered. The bluntness of his words made her pussy jump to life. “I like this plan.”
He cupped her face, tipping her head back and searching her eyes. “Do you have to be anywhere else tod
ay?”
She shook her head. “Nope. All yours.” She probably should do some studying at some point, but it could wait.
He kissed her lips briefly and then nibbled a path to her ear. “I like the sound of you being mine. Don’t move.”
She shivered as he released her, watching in confusion for a moment as he left her standing between the kitchen bar and the sofa. He took long strides to reach the fireplace where he flipped a switch on the left. A fire roared to life.
“Love it.” She rubbed her arms, knowing the gas fire would be enough to warm her up, though she hoped to be so hot in a few minutes that no fire would be necessary.
Pierce was back seconds later. “There. Ambiance.” He cupped her shoulders, hauled her close, and captured her lips.
He tasted like the combination of coffee and syrup from his pancakes. She instantly wanted more. More of anything he would give her. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged it up his torso, needing to touch his bare skin and feel the warmth of him under her palms.
Pierce released her to grab the shirt and finish yanking it over his head. His mouth was back on hers in an instant, but his hands went to her sweater and then underneath. His fingers were chilly against her skin, making her wiggle and dodge his touch.
He chuckled against her lips, flattening his palms on her back and drawing her against his chest. “Cold?”
“Freezing.”
In an instant, he hauled her sweater over her head and tossed it onto the couch. With expert precision, he unclasped her bra at her back and yanked it away too.
She shuddered. The room was still chilly. Her nipples hardened.
Pierce bent at the waist, set a hand on her lower back, and suckled a nipple.
London moaned, digging her hands into his hair. It felt so good. Her arousal instantly shot through the roof.
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