Velocities
Page 1
Praise for VELOCITIES: STORIES
“A modern genius of weird and dark fiction, Kathe Koja once again proves with Velocities that she’s adept at plunging the reader into strange and unexpected places. One of my favorite collections of the year.”
—Jeff Vandermeer, NYT-bestselling author of Dead Astronauts, Borne and the Southern Reach trilogy
“Velocities is prime Kathe Koja, with all that that entails: supercharged, dense as hell, oblique, glorious. Every story is a lesson in how to write faster, more intensely, from angles other people never seem to think of: industrial poetry, word mosaics like insect eyes, multifoliate as the insides of flowers, every image a scattered, burrowing seed, spreading narrative like a disease. I’ve loved her work since long before I ever aspired to produce anything like it—in fact, I’m still not sure anyone else is capable of doing what she does, of coming close, let alone hitting the mark. But damn, it’s equally so much fun to admire the result as it is to even vaguely try.”
—Gemma Files, award-winning author of Spectral Evidence
“Velocities is immersive, hypnotic, yet clear-eyed and accessible. These are dangerous, artful tales of mounting tension, impossible to put down. Koja’s fiction has never seemed more alive or daring.”
—Douglas Clegg, award-winning author of Neverland and The Faces
“Short sharp speedballs of strange. Incantatory, funny, human—ranging from urban dread, to country nightmares, to bite-sized fables so baroque and twisted, you can taste the corruption on your tongue and in your dreams.”
—J.S. Breukelaar, author of Collision: Stories and Aletheia
“An impressive collection of stories unafraid to explore bleak topics like death and despondency.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Reading Velocities is a literary dégustation of dark fiction with speculative elements, rich narrative full of text that’s cunning, loaded with sentiment. . . . Read Koja like you’re nibbling truffles, each bite a road to metamorphosis.”
—Eugen Bacon, Aurealis Magazine
ALSO BY KATHE KOJA
The Cipher
Bad Brains
Skin
Strange Angels
Kink
Extremities: Stories
Under the Poppy
The Mercury Waltz
The Bastards’ Paradise
Christopher Wild
VELO/
CITIES
STORIES
KATHE KOJA
Meerkat Press
Atlanta
VELOCITIES: Stories. Copyright © 2020 by Kathe Koja
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be used, reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For information, contact Meerkat Press at info@meerkatpress.com.
“At Eventide,” originally published in Graven Images: Fifteen Tales of Magic and Myth, edited by Nancy Kilpatrick and Thomas S. Roche, Penguin Ace, 2000
“Baby,” originally published in Teeth: Vampire Tales, edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, HarperCollins, 2011
“Velocity,” originally published in The Dark: New Ghost Stories, edited by Ellen Datlow, Tor Books, 2004
“Clubs,” originally published in Witness, Volume IX, No. 1, 1995
“Urb Civ,” originally published in Nowheresville, edited by Scott Gable and C. Dombrowski, Broken Eye Books, 2019
“Fireflies,” originally published in Asimov’s Science Fiction, 2006
“Road Trip,” originally published in World Fantasy Convention Guest of Honor Program Book and in The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror 16, edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, St. Martin’s Griffin, 2002
“Toujours,” originally published in Blood and Other Cravings, edited by Ellen Datlow, Tor Books, 2011
“Far and Wee,” originally published in Werewolves and Shapeshifters: Encounters with the Beast Within, edited by John Skipp, Black Dog & Leventhal, 2010.
“La Reine d’Enfer,” originally published in Queen Victoria’s Book of Spells, edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, Tor Books, 2013
“Pas de Deux,” originally published in Dark Love, edited by Nancy A. Collins, Edward E. Kramer and Martin H. Greenberg, ROC Books, 1995
Author Photo by Rick Lieder
Cover and Book Design by Tricia Reeks
ISBN-13 978-1-946154-23-1 (Paperback)
ISBN-13 978-1-946154-24-8 (eBook)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2020933245
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Printed in the United States of America
Published in the United States of America by
Meerkat Press, LLC, Atlanta, Georgia
www.meerkatpress.com
Thanks to Tricia Reeks for the smooth ride, and as ever to Christopher Schelling.
AT HOME
AT EVENTIDE
What he carried to her he carried in a red string bag. Through its mesh could be seen the gleam and tangle of new wire, a package of wood screws, a green plastic soda bottle, a braided brown coil of human hair; a wig? It could have been a wig.
To get to her he had come a long way: from a very large city through smaller cities to Eventide, not a city at all or even a town, just the nearest outpost of video store and supermarket, gas and ice and cigarettes. The man at the Stop-N-Go had directions to her place, a map he had sketched himself; he spoke as if he had been there many times: “It’s just a little place really, just a couple rooms, living room and a workshop; there used to be a garage out back but she had it knocked down.”
The man pointed at the handmade map; there was something wrong with his voice, cancer maybe, a sound like bones in the throat; he did not look healthy. “It’s just this feeder road, all the way down?”
“That’s right. Takes about an hour, hour and ten, you can be there before dark if you—”
“Do you have a phone?”
“Oh, I don’t have her number. And anyway you don’t call first, you just drive on down there and—”
“A phone,” the man said; he had not changed his tone, he had not raised his voice, but the woman sorting stock at the back of the store half-rose, gripping like a brick a cigarette carton.
The man behind the counter lost his smile, and “Right over there,” he said, pointing past the magazine rack bright with tabloids, with PLAYBOY and NASTY GIRLS and JUGGS; he lit a cigarette while the man made his phone call, checked with a wavering glance the old Remington 870 beneath the counter.
But the man finished his call, paid for his bottled water and sunglasses, and left in a late model pickup, sober blue, a rental probably, and “I thought,” said the woman with the cigarette cartons, “that he was going to try something.”
“So did I,” said the man behind the counter. The glass doors opened to let in heat and light, a little boy and his tired mother, a tropical punch Slush Puppie and a loaf of Wonder bread.
• • •
Alison, the man said into the phone. It’s me.
A pause: no sound at all, no breath, no sigh; he might have been talking to the desert itself. Then: Where are you? she said. What do you want?
I want one of those boxes, he said. The ones you make. I’ll bring you everything you need.
>
Don’t come out here, she said, but without rancor; he could imagine her face, its Goya coloring, the place where her eye had been. Don’t bring me anything, I can’t do anything for you.
See you in an hour, the man said. An hour and ten.
• • •
He drove the feeder road to the sounds of Mozart, ’40s show tunes, flashy Tex-Mex pop; he drank bottled water; his throat hurt from the air conditioning, a flayed unchanging ache. Beside him sat the string bag, bulging loose and uneven, like a body with a tumor, many tumors; like strange fruit; like a bag of gold from a fairy tale. The hair in the bag was beautiful, a thick and living bronze like the pelt of an animal, a thoroughbred, a beast prized for its fur. He had braided it carefully, with skill and a certain love, and secured it at the bottom with a small blue plastic bow. The other items in the bag he had purchased at a hardware store, just like he used to; the soda bottle he had gotten at the airport, and emptied in the men’s room sink.
There was not much scenery, unless you like the desert, its lunar space, its brutal endlessness; the man did not. He was a creature of cities, of pocket parks and dull anonymous bars; of waiting rooms and holding cells; of emergency clinics; of pain. In the beige plastic box beneath the truck’s front seat there were no less than eight different pain medications, some in liquid form, some in pills, some in patches; on his right bicep, now, was the vague itch of a Fentanyl patch. The doctor had warned him about driving while wearing it: There might be some confusion, the doctor said, along with the sedative effect. Maybe a headache, too.
A headache, the man had repeated; he thought it was funny. Don’t worry, doctor. I’m not going anywhere. Two hours later he was on a plane to New Mexico. Right now the Fentanyl was working, but only just; he had an assortment of patches in various amounts—25, 50, 100 milligrams—so he could mix and match them as needed, until he wouldn’t need them anymore.
Now Glenn Gould played Bach, which was much better than Fentanyl. He turned down the air conditioning and turned the music up loud, dropping his hand to the bag on the seat, fingers worming slowly through the mesh to touch the hair.
• • •
They brought her what she needed, there in the workshop: they brought her her life. Plastic flowers, fraying T-shirts, rosaries made of shells and shiny gold; school pictures, wedding pictures, wedding rings, books; surprising how often there were books. Address books, diaries, romance novels, murder mysteries, Bibles; one man even brought a book he had written himself, a ruffled stack of printer paper tucked into a folding file.
Everything to do with the boxes she did herself: she bought the lumber, she had a lathe, a workbench, many kinds and colors of stain and varnish; it was important to her to do everything herself. The people did their part, by bringing the objects—the baby clothes and car keys, the whiskey bottles and Barbie dolls; the rest was up to her.
Afterward they cried, some of them, deep tears strange and bright in the desert, like water from the rock; some of them thanked her, some cursed her, some said nothing at all but took their boxes away: to burn them, pray to them, set them on a shelf for everyone to see, set them in a closet where no one could see. One woman had sold hers to an art gallery, which had started no end of problems for her, out there in the workshop, the problems imported by those who wanted to visit her, interview her, question her about the boxes and her methods, and motives, for making them. Totems, they called them, or Rorschach boxes, called her a shaman of art, a priestess, a doctor with a hammer and an “uncanny eye.” They excavated her background, old pains exposed like bones; they trampled her silence, disrupted her work, and worst of all, they sicced the world on her, a world of the sad and the needy, the desperate, the furious and lost. In a very short time it became more than she could handle, more than anyone could handle, and she thought about leaving the country, about places past the border that no one could find but in the end settled for a period of hibernation, then moved to Eventide and points south, the older, smaller workshop, the bleached and decayed garage that a man with a bulldozer had kindly destroyed for her; she had made him a box about his granddaughter, a box he had cradled as if it were the child herself. He was a generous man, he wanted to do something to repay her although “no one,” he said, petting the box, “could pay for this. There ain’t no money in the world to pay for this.”
She took no money for the boxes, for her work; she never had. Hardly anyone could understand that: the woman who had sold hers to the gallery had gotten a surprising price, but money was so far beside the point, there was no point in even discussing it, if you had to ask, and so on. She had money enough to live on, the damages had bought the house, and besides, she was paid already, wasn’t she?—paid by the doing, in the doing, paid by peace and silence and the certain knowledge of help. The boxes helped them, always: sometimes the help of comfort, sometimes the turning knife, but sometimes the knife was what they needed; she never judged, she only did the work.
Right now she was working on a new box, a clean steel frame to enclose the life inside: her life: she was making a box for herself. Why? and why now? but she didn’t ask that, why was the one question she never asked, not of the ones who came to her, not now of herself. It was enough to do it, to gather the items, let her hand choose between this one and that: a hair clip shaped like a feather, a tube of desert dirt, a grimy nail saved from the wrecked garage; a photo of her mother, her own name in newsprint, a hospital bracelet snipped neatly in two. A life was a mosaic, a picture made from scraps: her boxes were only pictures of that picture and whatever else they might be or become—totems, altars, fetish objets—they were lives first, a human arc in miniature, a precis of pain and wonder made of homely odds and ends.
Her head ached from the smell of varnish, from squinting in the sawdust flume, from the heat; she didn’t notice. From the fragments on the table before her, the box was coming into life.
• • •
He thought about her as he drove. The Fentanyl seemed to relax him, stretch his memories like taffy, warm and ropy, pull at his brain without tearing it, as the pain so often did. Sometimes the pain made him do strange things: once he had tried to drink boiling water, once he had flung himself out of a moving cab. Once he woke blinking on a restaurant floor, something hard jammed in his mouth, an EMS tech above him: ’Bout swallowed his tongue, the tech said to the restaurant manager, who stood watching with sweat on his face. People think that’s just a figure of speech, you know, but they wrong.
He had been wrong himself, a time or two: about his own stamina, the state of his health; about her, certainly. He had thought she would die easily; she had not died at all. He had thought she could not see him, but even with one eye she picked him out of a lineup, identified him in the courtroom, that long finger pointing, accusing, dismissing, all in one gesture, wrist arched like a bullfighter’s before he places the killing blade, like a dancer’s en pointe, poised to force truth out of air and bone: with that finger she said who he was and everything he was not, mene, mene, tekel, upharsin. It was possible to admire such certainty.
And she spared herself nothing; he admired her for that, too. Every day in the courtroom, before the pictures the prosecutor displayed: terrible Polaroids, all gristle and ooze, police tape and matted hair, but she looked, she listened carefully to everything that was said, and when the foreman said guilty, she listened to that, too; by then the rest of her hair had come in, just dark brown down at first but it grew back as lush as before. Beautiful hair . . . it was what he had noticed first about her, in the bar, the Blue Monkey, filled with art school students and smoke, the smell of cheap lager; he had tried to buy her a drink but No thanks, she had said, and turned away. Not one of the students, one of his usual prey, she was there and not-there at the same time, just as she was in his workshop later, there to the wire and the scalping knife, not-there to the need in his eyes.
In the end he had gotten nothing from her; and
he admired her for that, too.
When he saw the article in the magazine—pure chance, really, just a half-hour’s numb distraction, Bright Horizons, in the doctor’s office, one of the doctors, he could no longer tell them apart—he felt in his heart an unaccustomed emotion: gratitude. Cleaved from him as the others had been, relegated to the jail of memory, but there she was, alive and working in the desert, in a workshop filled with tools that—did she realize?—he himself might have used, working in silence and diligence on that which brought peace to herself and pure release to others; they were practically colleagues, though he knew she would have resisted the comparison, she was a good one for resisting. The one who got away.
He took the magazine home with him; the next day he bought a map of New Mexico and a new recording of Glenn Gould.
• • •
She would have been afraid if it were possible, but fear was not something she carried; it had been stripped from her, scalped from her, in that room with the stuttering overheads, the loud piano music and the wire. Once the worst has happened, you lose the place where the fear begins; what’s left is only scar tissue, like old surgery, like the dead pink socket of her eye. She did not wait for him, check the roads anxiously for him, call the police on him; the police had done her precious little good last time, they were only good for cleaning up, and she could clean up on her own, now, here in the workshop, here where the light fell empty, hard and perfect, where she cut with her X-Acto knife a tiny scrolling segment from a brand-new Gideon Bible: blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.