by Dawn Brower
“I have to do something to keep my mind occupied, and Tori has to stay with Vivi. It’s up to me to see to the last-minute wedding details. She keeps detailed notes. I can handle it.”
“You’re going to handle wedding stuff?” Ian lifted a brow. “Tori is letting you?”
Wes chuckled. “She’s been giving me lists to do for the wedding since we started planning it. I thought if I drove her a little insane, she’d give up and take over.” He shook his head. “That backfired. She just gave me more tasks to do. She thought I enjoyed helping with the wedding.”
“You should never try to outsmart Vitoria Miene,” Emma said with a quick laugh. “She’s a bit of a genius.” She glanced at Ian. “It was nice seeing you, even if it was under terrible circumstances. Don’t be a stranger.” She hugged Wes. “Text me as soon as you know more.”
“I will,” Wes agreed as he hugged her back.
Emma turned on her heel and left them alone. Part of Ian wished he could leave too. Sometimes he hated his job. “How are Eric and Vivian holding up?” Ian asked.
“As well as can be expected.” Wes sighed. “Tori is a mess. She’s not showing it, but she loves Gabe. If anything happens…”
“We’re going to do everything we can to ensure it doesn’t.” Ian frowned. “Gabriel is going to be fine.” He hoped he could keep that promise. “Now go handle your wedding details. Let Tori be there for her sister and nephew.” He patted Wes on the back. “And if you have any questions, come find me.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Wes grinned and then walked away.
Ian sneaked another glance at Lila. He wondered if he could have a chance with her. Would she run away again if he pressed her? He just didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out.
Chapter 2
Lila came off an overnight shift of the hospital and was ready to crash. Unfortunately, she couldn’t. She had errands to run before she could go home. If she waited, she’d never get them done, and she needed to do laundry too. Her apartment didn’t have laundry on site, and she would have to drag her clothes to the nearest laundry mat to wash them.
She was so damn exhausted…
One breath in, and one breath out… She stayed focused on that for a moment, then started walking down the sidewalk away from the hospital. Lila didn’t own a car. She couldn’t afford one. So, she took a bus, or when she could pay the fee, a ride share. The bus was also sometimes an option, but she preferred walking…even if it was a two-mile hike home.
What a luxurious life she lived… At least she had a place to live, food to eat, and clothes on her back. She didn’t need much. Any extra money she had, she sent home to her mother. The family farm had seen better days and since her father’s death, her family struggled. She tried to convince her mother to sell the farm, but her mother was obstinate. It was her home, and she wasn’t leaving it and she damn well refused to sell it to strangers.
Lila didn’t understand why she wouldn’t sell it. Did her mother believe if she stayed long enough Lila would return home? She wouldn’t. Ever. There were too many ghosts back home for her to live with. Those ghosts are the reason she had a hard time letting anyone in. Some traumas were too difficult to move past.
She closed her eyes as memories flooded through her mind. That one night she had thought would be special. One she’d never forget… Oh, she hadn’t forgotten. But not for the reasons she had first believed. Barely eighteen and full of dreams—she’d fallen in love with the wrong boy. When she’d said no, he hadn’t listened, and when he was done, he’d pushed her out of his pickup truck and told her he was done with her.
He had left her on the side of the road. Her new dress torn and blood trickling down her thighs. She had told no one. Her shame was hers to bear, and she refused to share it with anyone else. It was far easier to push everyone away. As soon as she graduated, she went to the farthest college that had accepted her and never looked back. Even now… She could go home. She didn’t. No matter how many times her mother begged her too, she refused.
Turned out she came by her stubbornness naturally…
A wry grin formed on her face as she considered her mother. Perhaps they were far more alike than she realized, and wasn’t it ironic she just now came to that realization? After she finished her errands, and before she got some much-needed sleep, she’d call home. With her schedule, her mother always waited for her to call.
“Don’t you look positively cheery.”
She wasn’t far from a coffee shop she usually stopped at. Lila had planned on going inside and getting the biggest cup of black coffee they offered to help give her a boost. She would need it to get through her errands. Not once had she ever thought she’d run into him. For several heartbeats, she barely managed to breathe. What were the chances… Lila forced air into her lungs and somehow found the strength of will to speak. “Dawson,” she said in a cool tone. “I’d like to say it is nice to see you, but that’d be a lie.”
He held his hand over his chest and sneered. “You would me. After all I was to you?”
She blanched. “You were nothing to me.” A sickness filled her stomach, and she feared she might vomit. Lila attempted to move past him, but he reached out and grasped her arm. “Let me go, you’re hurting me.” That plea hadn’t stopped him before.
“I can’t believe how rude you have become.” His hot breath rushed over her ear as he spoke to her. “You used to be eager to spend time with me. I think we should reminisce about old times.”
God. Please… “I’ll pass,” she said in an acerbic tone. “I’d much rather eat glass than spend any time with you.” Lila shook uncontrollably. This was too much… “Let me go.”
“I think the lady asked you to remove your hands from her,” Ian said in a cool, steady tone. Lila glanced over to meet his gaze. There was fury there.
“Stay out of this. It doesn’t concern you.” Dawson snickered. “Me and Lila have a history.”
“Is that so?” Ian’s lips tilted upward into a confident smile. “Sweetheart, you never mentioned…” He frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name.” He waved his hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. If you don’t get your hand off my fiancée, I’m going to break it.”
“You’re going to marry this trash?” He shoved Lila, and she would have hit the ground if Ian hadn’t caught her. “You, sir…”
“Doctor,” Ian corrected him. “Dr. Ellwood.”
“Ian…” Lila managed to say his name. “He’s not worth it.”
“He was hurting you.” His anger was at the boiling point. She recognized the signs. She’d witnessed him lose it before, but this was beyond anything she’d ever seen. He actually looked capable of violence.
“Awe Lila Mooney actually lucked out and snagged a doctor.” Dawson laughed. It wasn’t a friendly laugh, but one born of malice. “Is that why you went to nursing school?” He lifted a brow. “Wanted to get your gold digging hands on someone rich?” He winked. “That’s what you wanted me for, wasn’t it?”
Dawson’s family was the richest in town. That hadn’t been why she’d dated him. He was handsome and sweet…until he wasn’t. After he showed his true colors, she couldn’t believe how he could ever have fooled her. “Your despicable.” She wanted to hit him. “Go away.”
“Gladly,” he said, then met Ian’s gaze. “Good luck with her. She’s a lousy lay.”
Ian kept his arms around her to keep her steady. She hadn’t stopped shaking since she’d run into Dawson. She didn’t need coffee anymore. Lila had never been so wide awake in her life. If she closed her eyes now, she would be plagued with nightmares.
“Easy,” Ian said in a comforting tone. “He’s gone.”
Lila curled into him and let him hold her. His arms around her, and his heartbeat against her ear, were helping soothe the fear inside her. Ian was not like Dawson. Part of the reason she’d kept him at a distance before was because she didn’t trust her judgement. When they had met, it had only been a couple of ye
ars since the incident. She was a young nurse, not finished with all the schooling she wanted to do. It had been five years and now she was a registered nurse. She had been considering going further but hadn’t yet decided.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Lila hated that he had seen all that. He would have questions and she wasn’t ready to give him answers. She hadn’t wanted to ever talk about what happened to her. Now she might have to.
“Don’t be.” He brushed a hand over her hair. “He was a jerk and needed to be put in his place.”
“He is definitely a jerk.” She sucked in a breath. “I should go.”
“Don’t,” he said.
She stepped out of his arms. Lila would like to stay there forever, but it would be a mistake. Ian deserved someone not broken. Lila feared she would never heal. Her scars would always be there, and sometimes the reminder would open those wounds again. She lifted her gaze to meet his. “I have to.” She mumbled the words.
“Please stay. I need to make sure you’re all right.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. His eyes were pleading with her and it hurt. “One cup of coffee or tea, and then I’ll…” He swallowed hard. “I won’t force you to stay. Please stay.”
He was such a contrast to Dawson. How could she have ever believed he might be capable of true evil? Ian was everything she had hoped and believed Dawson had been. He had stepped in to help her. Dawson never would have done that. How many times did she have to make Ian beg before she gave in? What was wrong with her? “All right. One cup of tea…herbal.”
She did not know what kind of herbal tea the shop had. Coffee was her drug of choice, and tea was never something she usually consumed willingly. “Any preference?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “Surprise me. I’ll get us a table.”
Lila walked away from him and found a table near the window. She enjoyed sitting there when she had time. People watching was one of her favorite activities…but then again…she was usually alone. Having a drink with Ian would be an entirely new experience for her. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that either.
He came back and set a cup of tea beside her. Ian had opted for a real mug instead of cardboard. He had probably feared she’d bolt otherwise. Lila had no intention of going anywhere. “It’s chamomile,” he said. “I’ve heard it can be calming. I didn’t know if you wanted any sweetener…”
“No,” she said. “This is fine. I don’t like overly sweet drinks.”
“Good to know.” He smiled at her. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
She shook her head. It was the last thing she wanted. He must have seen the fear on her face. “You don’t have to tell me.” The muscles in his jaw clenched. “But you should tell someone.”
Lila stared at her tea. “There’s nothing to tell.” It was too late for anything to be done. Any evidence of his assault had been destroyed when she showered that night. Her clothing had been burned. Lila had not wanted any reminders of what he had done. There had been one… One she wished he could forget. Dawson had knocked her up. She couldn’t keep that baby, but she couldn’t kill it either. Lila had the baby and gave her up for adoption. She hoped her daughter had a wonderful home. It was the best thing she could do for her. Even the baby wasn’t proof. Dawson would say she’d wanted his attentions and it would be her word against his. “I’d rather forget it.” Not that she could…
“Lila…”
A tear fell down her cheek. “Talking about it won’t change anything.”
“It might help you heal,” he said softly. “Isn’t that enough of a reason?”
She looked back down at the tea she hadn’t touched. Lila lifted the mug and sipped. “When I was eighteen, he raped me.” She said the words before she lost her courage. “I was afraid to say anything. His family has a lot of power in my hometown…” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I ran away and never looked back.”
“I wish I had punched him.”
She lifted her lips into a wobbly smile. “It would have made it worse.”
He sighed. “And it would have only made me feel better.” Ian reached across the table and held her hand. “You don’t need to say any more. I understand.”
Lila ran her finger around the rim of her mug. She’d already told him the worst… “I was pregnant.” She didn’t meet his gaze. “I gave the baby away.”
“Do you regret it?” he asked.
“No,” she whispered. “She’s with a family that will give her love. Love I couldn’t…”
“You don’t need to explain.” He blew out a breath. “That asshole should be in prison.”
“Perhaps…” She felt a little lighter having told him. “But what’s done is done. The decisions I made then…” Lila shook her head. “I can’t undo them. I’ve let what he did run my life for too long. I’d much rather start moving forward.” She met his gaze. “If I could…I’d like to start with you.”
He lifted a brow. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Spend the day with me.” She told herself to remain calm, to be brave, and take a chance. “Let me get to know you the way I should have five years ago.”
Ian stayed quiet for several moments, and she held her breath. Lila prayed he would say yes. Please say yes…
Chapter 3
Ian couldn’t have told her no if he wanted to, and he definitely didn’t want to. She looked so…open and eager. It was a side of her he had never seen before. Lila had always kept him at a distance. At least now he understood why. It had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with the asshole that had been harassing her earlier. Ian still wished he had punched him. He knew what Lila had said was right. It would have only caused more problems.
He just felt so helpless…
It killed him that he couldn’t go back and save her. She had been carrying around all this trauma that she’d been unable to share with anyone. He was glad she had told him. For her, and for him. She had needed to tell someone, even if she didn’t want to. He needed to hear it so he could help her, and they could move forward. He wanted her, had always wanted her, and nothing would change that.
“I’d like to spend the day with you,” he began. “But I know you worked a night shift. You need to sleep.”
“I couldn’t…” She swallowed hard. “Sleeping would be too difficult right now. I have the next few days off.” Lila’s lips tilted upward into a warm smile. “I requested time off because of the wedding. I promised Tori I’d help, and she’s having a bachelorette party tomorrow night.”
“Wes invited me to their place for a night of revelry.” He grinned. “What is Tori planning?”
“Not Tori,” she said and shook her head. “Emma.”
“Be afraid,” he said, then smiled. “Very afraid.”
She laughed and her eyes lit up. He liked to see her smile, and it was good to see the pain washed away. Ian found he’d do anything to see that smile on her face. If only they could have been like this five years ago. So much wasted time…
“Emma will not do anything too naughty.” Lila picked up her tea and sipped it. “She is too worried about Colt. She’ll put on a brave face and make sure that everyone has fun…for Tori, but we all know the entire time she’s going to be stressed. This is the first time Colt is going to do something not medically necessary, if you know what I mean.”
“Colt will be fine.” Ian frowned. “He’s been cleared for activity and has been doing physical therapy.”
“But he’s the love of her life.” She tilted her head to the side. “How would you feel if your one true love almost died? Wouldn’t you worry for a little while after?”
Lila was the one he loved. She had always been there in his heart, and it had hurt a lot when she ran from him all those years ago. He hadn’t understood why, but he had felt so damned betrayed. She hadn’t betrayed him, though. He felt like such an ass now. “I had considered seducing you,” he admitted. “Not all those years ago, but now. After we talked in the supply
closet…”
She lifted a brow. “That’s a random change of subject.” Lila palmed the cup and brought it to her lips. There was amusement in her gaze. “Did you change your mind?”
How was he supposed to reply to that? Hell, yes, he changed his mind. It seemed wrong to seduce her now, after he’d learned about the assault. He would be an even bigger ass than before. Ian studied her. Did she want him to seduce her? “I considered it; I didn’t decide to do it.” He hadn’t, that was the truth. When she spoke about losing the love of his life… He had. Now he wanted a second chance to win her. It would take far more than seduction. She needed proper wooing and romance, damn it.
“So, you might still try?” she laughed. “Is this my fair warning?”
“I don’t know what it is,” he admitted. “I just thought…” Ian signed. “We should be honest with each other.”
Ian didn’t want any more secrets between them. She was far too important for him to blunder things a second time. He would win her over this time. Ian believed she already loved him. At least he hoped she did…
“That is fair,” she agreed. “So now that we’ve decided on that, and that you’re considering seducing me…”
He groaned. “You’re not going to let me forget that.”
“Absolutely not,” she told him, then took another sip of her tea. “I’m looking forward to your possible efforts.” She winked. “But on to what I really want to know.”
“What is that?” he held his breath, waiting.
“What are we going to do with our day?”
He gave her a half smile. “I don’t recall agreeing to spending the day with you.” He had been up all night too. Well, mostly… He caught a couple hours in the on-call room. A patient of his was in the ICU, and he wanted to be around if he had taken a turn for the worse. Luckily, he’d taken a turn for the better an hour ago. Otherwise, he might not have been around to help Lila with the man who had attacked her.
“Come on,” she said in a pleading tone. “You know you want to.”