When We Break

by Cheryl Phipps

  Lost in her daydream, she walked a fair distance, and when she finally looked up to get her bearings was surprised by just how far she’d come. In front of her, the imposing fence stood, behind which Randall and his thugs hid. Tentatively, she walked towards it, knowing she shouldn’t, but drawn there, all the same. What if right now, Chloe was inside? Kirk had said she wasn’t on the island, but what if he was wrong? She pulled the cap lower over her scar.

  “You looking for something, lady?”

  Startled, Talia turned to face a rather broad chest belonging to a huge man. She looked up to find a bull neck supporting an ugly face, bearing scars and ugly pockmarks. For his size, it was odd that she hadn’t heard him approach, and he didn’t look too friendly.

  “Not really. I was just taking a walk,” she stammered.

  “This is a private beach, so you better turn back.” There was no mistaking the threat in his voice.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize it. There are no signs, and anyway, I thought all the beaches here were public.”

  “Not this part, okay?” He took a step towards her, and closer up, looked even more menacing.

  Involuntarily, she backed up, feeling annoyed when her voice came out shriller than she would have liked. “Sure. No problem.” She felt his eyes on her as she walked back up the beach. Trying to act naturally on her now shaky legs not to break into a run took a lot of self-control. Finally, she could see the bottom of the garden ahead of her.

  Chloe! Her heart and mind screamed. Please let her be safe.

  ~~~

  As soon as her feet touched the grass, Nick grabbed her from behind. “What the hell do you think you’re playing at?” he hissed in her ear.

  “Let go of me.” She struggled to free herself.

  “Not until you tell me what you were doing down there.”

  “I was taking a walk. No law against that, is there?’

  She aimed for an air of nonchalance, but he could feel her heart pounding. He set her feet on the ground and angrily turned her to face him.

  “Don’t you understand how stupid that was? I told you not to go near the place, yet you deliberately ignored me. Do you have a death wish or something? I can’t believe you would jeopardize all our lives. . .”

  He stopped his tirade as tears cascaded down her flushed cheeks. Dropping her arm in surprise, he gently retook it. Turning it over, he could see the indentation of his fingers in her delicate skin. There would be a bruise there tomorrow.

  “Talia, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Please don’t cry.” But the tears continued to fall, and he couldn’t help but pull her into his arms. There was no resistance this time. Her head tucked perfectly under his chin, and her body quivered as she began to sob.

  “Hush, Talia. I’m sure everything’s fine. That guy wasn’t looking when you came up to the path, so our cover is safe.” He wasn’t sure of anything, but he couldn’t upset her further. “Let’s go back to the house.”

  She shook her head vehemently, so he half carried her to an old wooden bench and pulled her onto his lap. It felt right to have her there, and although Nick had been furious, then worried about her, those feelings had faded fast, and something else was settling in its place. Holding her was pleasant—very pleasant.

  He couldn’t say how long they sat like that, but at some stage, Talia’s tears eventually ceased, yet she remained nestled against his chest. “Are you okay now?”

  Slowly, her head tilted up towards him. “I’m so embarrassed. I never cry like this, and that’s all I’ve done ever since I met you.”

  He smiled and pushed her hair back from her damp cheeks. “That’s hardly a recommendation for detective of the year. I guess I have yelled at you a lot. Did I hurt you that much?’ Nick couldn’t bear to think he’d caused her any sort of pain. She’d certainly had her share of that, judging by those nightmares.

  Talia shook her head. “No, you didn’t. What you said about my recklessness was perfectly reasonable. The thing is, I haven’t got the time to be reasonable. Every day Chloe is out there; she’s in danger. Randall is a sick man, and one person keeping an eye on her will not stop him if he needs a bargaining tool or revenge. I don’t think anyone is capable of stopping him.”

  Her earnestness was troubling. She believed what she said one hundred percent, and Nick tended to agree.

  “I know this hasn’t been easy. You certainly didn’t ask to be involved in our case, but I want you to know I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you or Chloe because of me.”

  Nick felt some of the fight leave, and her eyes lost their anguish. He couldn’t resist the desire that hummed through his body, and he slowly lowered his mouth to her full, pink lips, touching them gently. Back and forth, his lips moved, gradually increasing the pressure with each pass. She groaned, and then her eyelashes fluttered and closed as her mouth slowly opened to his.

  The sweetness was exquisite—like some exotic fruit, he couldn’t get enough of. Their tongues entwined, and he imagined kissing her all over. He could feel himself hardening against her, and he shifted a little to make himself more comfortable. Her eyes sprung open, and she pulled back, gasping a little.

  “No!’

  Her voice held panic. Nick looked around. They were alone, but she was frightened. By him? It was bizarre when she had returned every kiss, but there was no mistaking her distress as she began to struggle to get off his lap. He released her instantly.

  “What did I do, Talia? We can take it slower if you like. Just tell me what you want.”

  She was already on the path back up to the cottage, but she rounded on him angrily.

  “It doesn’t matter what I want, Nick, because this is wrong. Just because we’re attracted to each other doesn’t mean we can or should do anything about it.”

  “I know this isn’t the time or place, but we both know there’s something between us.” Nick couldn’t grasp why she was so hot and cold with him.

  “I can’t believe you. There can never be anything between us since there’s the small matter of your wife.”

  Her hands were flat on her hips, her eyes flashing with fury, and despite this, he still wanted her. Lost in desire, he struggled to hear what she’d said, and when it finally dawned on him, he didn’t respond as perhaps he should have.

  “My wife? Do you mean Emma? She’s my ex-wife, and we were divorced two years ago. We rarely work together, but she’s been involved with this case from the beginning. She has a lot of contacts, and when she had the opportunity, she managed to get herself inside the compound. I had no choice but to include her on this assignment.”

  She took a step towards him, then stopped. “Nick, you can say what you like, but I don’t believe she doesn’t have feelings for you. I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

  “Oh, I certainly don’t deny we have feelings for each other—powerful feelings, some of which are not so nice.”

  Talia didn’t seem amused by his attempt at levity, so he hurried on with his explanation. “You have to appreciate that Emma and I worked together for a long time before anything happened between us. Marriage seemed a natural progression. We have a lot of history. It was never going to work, even though we tried our best. The counselor said we’re too much alike.” He smiled at her as he moved closer.

  “Don’t get me wrong. Emma is a wonderful person, and a part of me will always love her, but I’m not in love with her. She never made me feel like this. I could sit here like that with you for hours.” He gestured back to the log. “Emma and I can barely be in the same room for ten minutes before we want to strangle each other.” He attempted to pull her back to him, but she jerked away.

  “You make it all sound so easy, but think about it, Nick. This thing between us is too much too soon. We only met each other such a short time ago, and so much has happened since then. You’re busy with this case, and I’m not ready for a commitment. After what I’ve been thorough, I may never be capable of having a normal relationsh
ip.”

  “Don’t say that, Talia, and what the hell is normal these days, anyway? Besides, I’m not asking you to marry me,’ he added teasingly but got a frown for his efforts. “You can’t deny there’s some strong chemistry between us, so why pretend? There hasn’t been anyone else since Emma and I split up. I wasn’t interested before, but I feel differently about you. Look, I know the timing’s lousy, and we need to wait until this is all over. Just tell me you feel the same.”

  “I appreciate what you’re saying, and I won’t deny I feel something, too, but I’m too scared to even think about the possibility. That may sound pretty dramatic. Nevertheless, what I’ve been through made me swear off men, and so far, all this has done nothing to make me change my mind.”

  “You’re serious, aren’t you? Your eyes tell me you feel the rightness of it, even as you fight the attraction. I can feel your heart race every time I touch you. What is it that’s making you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy? It’s more than the death of your family, isn’t it? You have to tell me. Otherwise, I can’t believe there’s no hope for us.”

  Chapter Twenty

  The sincerity in his voice and the desperation in his eyes made her understand what it cost a man like him to talk about his feelings so openly. Allowing her to stay must have contradicted all of his directives. He wanted her safe and to solve his case while she had jeopardized everything for her daughter and lied about it.

  It was time to come clean for Nick and Chloe’s sake. After she divulged everything, It wasn’t likely, that Nick would want to continue developing a relationship. She took a deep breath, struggling to get the words out. “My marriage was a sham, but I had no idea. I really believed he loved me.”

  Nick nodded encouragement.

  “He hurt me, Nick, more than I can possibly say. I met him not long before my family died. He was a friend of Mom and Dad’s through the sailing club, and he took my brother under his wing. He seemed to genuinely like my family. After the accident, he came around often and talked about my family, whereas my other friends wouldn’t, in case I got too upset. I was so lost, and he helped me through that time. He was kind and patient with my grief. There was no real passion on my part, but I let him talk me into marrying him a few months later. People tried hard to talk me out of it, but I needed to feel loved. I was desperate to be part of a family again, and when he said that was what he wanted, too, I agreed.”

  She wrung her hands. “What I didn’t know, and you obviously did, was that Randall was using me. Through my work, I managed to get him the transport contract for my company’s goods in and out of the country. He held it under a dummy corporation so it could never be traced back to him. I was the only person at the gallery who dealt with that sort of thing, so no one ever got suspicious. I later found out that amongst the goods, he stashed drugs, and who knows what else? I’d been worried for some time because of the rough characters hanging around us. There were so many unexplained occurrences, which he always fobbed off with some ridiculous explanation or another.”

  Nick looked as though he wanted to say something, but let her continue.

  “One day, I went to his warehouse when I knew a new shipment was due. Being the boss’s wife made it relatively easy to get in and hide until I could see for myself what was really going on. It’s one thing to have suspicions, but I had to be certain before I challenged him. I didn’t want it to be true, even at that stage. I confronted him, stupidly in front of his thugs. I told him I wanted it all to stop. He laughed at me and said this was the best way for him to do his deals like it was no big thing. When I threatened to tell someone about what he was up to, he beat me. He was always clever enough to make sure it didn’t show. It wasn’t the first time, and of course, it wasn’t the last.”

  “So, he let you go?’

  “That time, yes. I had to pick up Chloe from day-care, and I imagine Randall, despite the separation, thought if I had time to think it over, I would do as he asked. I always had before. I went to stay at a friend’s place, but I still didn’t comprehend how ruthless he could be even after everything that had happened. It was easy for his boys to find me, and a few days later, they took me back to him, and he calmly explained that things would resume as before. He must have thought I wouldn’t have the guts to defy him, but I couldn’t condone what he was doing. I told him to go to hell - that I never wanted to see him again. He threatened me with another beating, and this time he would make sure the job was done right. I called his bluff.” She put her face in her hands, exhausted.

  Nick’s chest hurt with her suffering. He knew a lot about her time with Randall - some things even she wasn’t aware of, but he hadn’t known she was repeatedly abused. He could happily kill the man with his bare hands, but that wouldn’t change her mind about having another relationship.

  Maybe he was biased, but he believed that she’d never knowingly played a part in Randall’s dealings. There’d been no evidence, and as long as she testified against him, Nick felt sure she wouldn’t be held accountable. All he had to do was win her trust and keep her alive. Both would take all his resources.

  “I can help with this, Talia. I can get him so he’ll pay for what he did and get your daughter back, but you can’t stay here. It’s simply too dangerous.”

  Shoulders squared, she looked at him coolly.

  “Randall is pure evil. It makes me ill every time I think of him and how he used me. I hate the thought of ever seeing him again, but I’m going to do whatever I need to, and leaving is not an option. I came here for Chloe, not to find a lover.” She moved further up the path. “You need to get back to work, Nick, and I’ll try to keep out of your way for the rest of our time together. It’s for the best.” With that, she turned and disappeared up the path.

  After everything she had been through, he admired her for functioning at all, but to let that scum get away with what he’d done was inconceivable. Of course, she was right—it was highly unprofessional to get involved with Talia, and he certainly did have work to do.

  But he wasn’t about to let this go. Somehow, he’d make her trust him.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  The next morning, Talia sat legs crossed in the middle of her bed. Using the phone Nick gave her, she played the video of Chloe over and over again. A few more recent photos had arrived sporadically over the last couple of weeks, but there had been no more videos. Her heart ached with longing.

  She needed to focus on what to do next. How had she let everything get away from her? Thinking she could control her emotions around Nick was a huge mistake when he was everything she thought a man should be. His good looks did not outweigh his kindness and compassion, but at the end of the day, his job would come first. Would it be at Chloe's expense?

  It was time to be more proactive. The plans she and Kirk had put in place should be followed through with as soon as possible. Getting a good look at the house next door was first on the list, and she'd use some of Kirk's training by swimming up to the back gate. She'd go now before she had to face Nick again. The look on his face when he saw her determination - the disappointment and then maybe a measure of distrust was hard to see. He had every reason to feel all those things. She'd led him on, and by not telling him of her plans, she was lying every minute she was here.

  She would leave as soon as she got back from the beach. It would get harder and harder to stay away from Nick and remain unaffected, which surprised and scared her. The less she had to do with him, the better - for his sake as well as hers. Talia couldn't bear the thought of her ex-husband having anything to do with Nick. If Randall knew how she felt about the detective, it would be one more arrow. It was the least she could do for all of them, and maybe Nick and Emma would get back together after this was finished. The thought sent a chill through her.

  After changing into her bathing suit, Talia slipped out the back door and stole through the bush until she made it to the sand. The water was sparkling in the late morning sun, and looking out to the
open sea, and she could imagine she was miles from here. Perhaps on another island, safe with Chloe.

  Dropping her sarong and towel at the water's edge, she ran into the surf. It was colder than she had been expecting, and she hesitated as the water lapped at her thighs. There was no other way - she would have to dive in. Otherwise, she would chicken out.

  It was funny how, when you were a child, there was no hesitation; the water was never too cold. A larger wave came closer, and, steeling herself for the inevitable, Talia timed her dive appropriately. It was colder the deeper she went but remarkably invigorating. She swam strongly for a few yards and then took it slowly as she neared the compound.

  The tide was high, so she was able to get close without exposing herself. The gates looked even more imposing from the water. She tried to visualize the inside of the place from the maps Kirk had given her, and because she had been over them hundreds of times, it wasn't hard. Assuming there had been no modifications, she was capable of walking the house and gardens in the dark. This was the perfect time to break in, and another thing she'd been trained to do.

  Satisfied that she was capable of scaling a wall nearest the water, she swam back. When her arms and legs began to tire, Talia body-surfed to the shore to rest in the shallows. The water caressed her tired body, and she closed her eyes against the bright glare of the sun, unaware Nick was approaching.

  "That looks pretty good. Mind if I join you?"

  Attempting to sit up as a wave broke over her, she floundered and found herself sputtering and choking on the salty water as she was mercilessly dunked. Limbs flailing, she was lifted by her arms.

  "Calm down! I've heard you can drown in a couple of inches of water, but I've never witnessed someone trying to do it."