My Holiday in North Korea

by Wendy E. Simmons

  Really, any expression on Older Handler’s face that was not a smile: e.g., when she showed flashes of annoyance, aggravation, or frustration. And Older Handler’s attitude on Day One when I didn’t want to try special North Korean orange ice-cream treat.

  After telling Older Handler I felt like I was in prison at the Koryo Hotel because there was no place to sit outside, anytime we went anyplace with an acceptable spot for me to sit outside, she would point to it and snidely say, “You sit there since you feel like you are in prison.”

  When we were picnicking at Dragon Mountain inside the Sariwon Folk Village, we encountered a huge group of young schoolchildren, too young to be Young Pioneers. They had seen me walk to the top of the hill and I guess begged their teachers to let them wait for me to come back down. Older Handler knew I loved photographing kids, and for once she seemed excited to let me know of this imminent score. When we got to the bottom of the hill, the kids went certifiably mental—they were so thrilled! Dozens and dozens and dozens of them surrounded and followed me, ceaselessly shouting, “Hell-oh! Good-bye!” over and over again as they waved. The children’s authentic joy was matched by Fresh Handler’s sheer surprise and delight. “I never see anything like that before,” she said, while Older Handler pretended she hadn’t noticed—her frozen countenance reflecting her abject lack of emotion.

  Right after my child fans mobbed me, we walked to the bottom of Dragon Mountain, near the entrance of the Sariwon Folk Village. To the right of the entrance were nine or ten giant panels, all in a row, that told the “history” of North Korea (read: propaganda about the American Imperialists and our atrocities). It was the middle of the afternoon and about a thousand degrees outside. I was lethargic, and I had to pee. And I’d seen this dog-and-pony show a few times by now and could seriously not care less. So I said to Older Handler, in sort of a teasing (but serious) way, “I get it. I get it. American Imperialist atrocities this, thirteenth-century atrocities that. Can we please skip ahead? I’ve got to pee.” Before she could catch herself, Fresh Handler spontaneously giggled but shut right down when Older Handler gave her a major stink eye.

  Fresh Handler and I got our periods the same day. We bonded over cramps. Now THAT shit was real.

  The smile that broke across Non-General’s face as he watched his image come together from the blank piece of instant film.

  When sweet Boyfriend General called me brave for visiting North Korea.

  Acknowledgments

  I want to thank Older Handler, Fresh Handler, and Driver for an experience I will never forget—one that truly changed my life—and Simon Cockerell of Koryo Group for organizing my trip. Without these four people, I would have no story to share.

  To Beth Price, my coach, teacher, editor, researcher, sounding board, problem solver, therapist, cheerleader, and friend for over twenty years, who was by my side from the moment I typed the first word on the page. Without her tireless support and input every single step of the way, this book would not have seen the light of day.

  To Christine Moore and Linda Schmidt, my editors, whose invaluable expertise, spot on advice, thoughtfulness, and enthusiasm cannot be overstated. And to Laura Kopp, my proofreader, for finding mistakes I would have bet my house didn’t exist…proving unequivocally why you need a great proofreader.

  To Erin Tyler, my book designer—inside and out—for transforming simple words on a page into such a beautiful (and real!) book. Unlike the Dear Great Leaders, her “on-the-spot guidance” really did make magic happen.

  To James Altucher. Being interviewed by him on North Korea for his podcast became the impetus for this book, and professional contacts he so generously shared with me became part of the team who were central to the development of my book.

  To my sister, Kristy Simmons, for her love and encouragement, keen insight, and great feedback. I love and adore her to pieces.

  To Fabrizio LaRocca, my photo editor, website designer, and overall giver of awesome advice. His dedication, patience and care are rare in this day and age.

  To Peter Clark for doing the impossible…knowing how to actually publish this book. Were it not for Peter, I would be selling this book from a lemonade stand, and I would have printed it at Kinkos (no offense to Kinkos).

  To Rachel Blishe, Yujin Kim, and Jennifer Arnow for their incredible work on my personal website (wendysimmons.com), and to the talented team at Filtro for building an awesome website for this book (MyHolidayInNorthKorea.com) in no time at all (and with no power tools!).

  To my mom and Michael for loving me unconditionally, and always letting me know it. It’s everything. I love you both very much.

  And to all my friends who have encouraged my writing, and this book, and have always been there when I’ve needed them. I am incredibly lucky to be surrounded by so many kind and nurturing people.

  All quotes are from The Project Gutenberg eBook editions of Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass.

  About the Author

  Wendy Simmons won’t stop travelling until she visits every country in the world! Despite her hatred for packing, she’s managed to explore more than eighty-five so far—including territories and colonies—and chronicles her adventures on her blog, wendysimmons.com.

  She is president of Vendeloo, a consultancy she founded in 2001, Chief Brand Officer of a NYC-based global eyewear brand, and an award-winning photographer. She’s also owned a bar in Manhattan, worked for a lobbying firm on Capitol Hill, and written a Japanese-language phrase book. Though her Japanese is now terrible, Wendy’s Pig Latin is flourishing. She graduated summa cum laude and Phi Beta Kappa from George Washington University.

  Wendy practices Muay Thai daily and lives in Brooklyn in a converted 1800s schoolhouse.

  Full-size versions of all photographs featured in My Holiday in North Korea: The Funniest/Worst Place on Earth can be viewed at MyHolidayInNorthKorea.com. Additional photos from North Korea can be viewed on her blog.