Wind Beneath His Wings

by Maggie Walsh

  His friends’ words rang in his mind and Sut knew they were right. He had given Casimir enough time. Now he needed to put himself first and protect his heart. As much as it killed him to walk away from his mate, there really was no other choice now. If he stayed, they would only continue as they had been and his heart would shatter every day, but if he gave up and moved on, the heartbreak could fully come, he would embrace it, and get over it. It was time for him to man up and reclaim his life. It was time for him to say goodbye to his mate, and the song he chose would do just that. These would be his last words to Casimir. After he was done, he would no longer speak to the man, or listen to him. Their lives would now go on separately. The time had come.

  Sut, waited for the right chord, then locked his gaze with Casimir’s and began to sing, “Keep Me Hanging On” by The Supremes, “Set me free, why don’t ya, babe? Get out my life, why don’t you, babe?”

  As the song went on, Sut was filled with all the hurt, anger, and despair that had taken over his life since meeting Casimir. He thought of all the times the man had loved on him, then denied him. The pain and anger began to consume him, and Sut glared at Casimir, letting all his thoughts and feelings show on his face as he sang directly to the man.

  “Why do you keep coming around and playing with my heart?” He screamed out, releasing the rage within.

  He watched Casimir’s face closely as he belted out the song, and for a moment he began to panic from the thought of walking away, but then Casimir closed his eyes and shook his head. The motion reignited the fire of anger within him, replacing the feeling of loss with one of determination. No more, damn it! No more! I won’t let him treat me like this anymore. He fucks me and leaves me, keeps me a secret and at arm’s length, then when I say I can’t take it anymore and want more, or I’m done, he has the nerve to look like he’s ashamed of me? Me? He’s the one who should be ashamed. Well, fuck you mate, and fuck us. I release you from our bond. Sut thought as he continued to sing directly to Casimir, the dragon shifter asshole, not Casimir his mate. They weren’t mates. Never had been, never would be.

  “You don’t want me for yourself, so let me find somebody else…” he sang, as he jumped from the stage and started walking toward Casimir, his gaze still locked on the man’s face.

  As he moved closer and the crowd stepped aside to let him through, Casimir opened his eyes and their gazes locked as Sut now stood only feet from the dragon. Then he changed the words and instead of ‘Why don’t you be a man about it and set me free’, Sut sang, “I’ll be a man about it, and I’ll set you free. Go on, get out of my life... Let me be! Set me freeeee!”

  The song came to an end and they remained frozen, just staring at one another. After a few moments when Casimir made no move to say or do anything, just continued to look at him, Sut felt the metal wall snap shut around his heart to the man. He was done.

  Sut dropped the mic and walked away.

  CHAPTER 2

  It had been a week since the night at the club when Sutton told him he was done. Since then, Cas had spent most of his time either alone, or with the children. He loved being with Rhys again and now watching over his and his mate’s kids, as well as Twix and his mate’s little one. Amelia was really beginning to become a handful, zapping around wherever and whenever she wanted, mostly popping in on her grandpa Illan, Casimir’s older brother. Every time the little angel did, Illan would immediately call and let them know she was with him. Sometimes he would bring her home right away, and other times he would keep her with him and his mates for hours—usually the times when Amelia would pop her brother Kalen and her cousin Fieri with her.

  Then there was Kalen. The toddler wasn’t as adventurous as his sister, but Casimir noticed he was very observant, too observant for a three-year-old. When their nanny Luca wasn’t looking, Kalen would hold out his hand in front of him and stare at it, then suddenly something, usually a cookie, would appear, and he would shove the whole thing in his little mouth, then run off to hide, causing Casimir to laugh. He knew, like the rest of them, that Kalen was definitely taking after his father, Daytona, Cas’s nephew. He was an alpha dragon through and through, but instead of being in your face like Illan, Kalen showed a bit of his other fathers, Ethan and Rhys in him as well. That quiet, observation as he took everything in, like Ethan, then the calculating mind as he figured things out, like Rhys. Amelia might get all the attention, because she was such a handful and the only female among their family, but Kalen was the one they should really be paying attention to.

  A squeal of laughter caught his attention and Casimir turned to look at the little ones as Luca pushed the three on the swings. They were in the park in the middle of Maddox waiting for Rhys, who was attending a town meeting with some of the business owners. Cas smiled as he watched their faces glow with happiness as they each yelled for Luca to push them higher.

  His best friend Aracas stepped onto the curb and made his way across the square, a sad smile on his face as their gazes met. He knew what that look was for and sighed. He didn’t want to talk about what had happened at the club, or his mate, or him and his mate. He just wanted everyone to leave them be.

  Yes, he had been an asshole, a total shit, with the way he had treated his Sutton, but the fear inside him just wouldn’t let go. It held on tight to his heart like a vise, and anytime he even thought about taking things further with Sutton and claiming him, that vise tightened to the point he couldn’t even breathe. He was completely aware that letting his past rule him was a recipe for disaster, but he didn’t know how to stop it, or change it. Cas had only hoped that with time, as long as he kept his mate in his life and got to know him, that the band around him would break and he would finally be free to love Sutton the way he wanted. The way the man deserved. But…

  “Hey, man. I didn’t know you were coming into Maddox today,” Aracas said, by way of greeting.

  “Hey. Yeah, Rhys had a meeting, so Luca thought he would bring the younglings to the park while they waited. Once Rhys is done we’re heading over to Twixie’s for some lunch. You in?”

  “Sounds great. I would love to, thanks,” Aracas replied, with a smile that only lasted a moment before it lowered and his eyes became hesitant. Cas knew what was coming.

  “Before you ask, no, I haven’t spoken to Sutton since the night at the club, and no, I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “He is your mate, man, and the way you’ve treated him―”

  Casimir glowered at his friend as his jaw clenched. He didn’t need reminding of what a shit he was. “I am well aware of how I treated my mate and how shitty it was of me, I don’t need you, or anyone else reminding me.”

  Aracas’s face turned cold as he narrowed his eyes. “Actually, I think it’s just what you do need. I think every time someone comes into contact with you they should remind you of what a fucking asshole you are, and what you’ve lost. Then, maybe it will sink in.”

  “It’s already sunk in,” Casimir grumbled.

  Aracas made a snorting sound as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked to the children. “Bullshit. If it really had sunk in that your mate has told you goodbye and doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore, then I doubt you would be standing here right now looking like you don’t have a care in the world.”

  Casimir sighed heavily as he ran a hand down his face. “Look, I know what Sutton said, and I know he meant it at the time, but I also know him. He was drunk and feeling sorry for himself, and everything came to a head. He needed to release some of that frustration. I’m sure once we meet up tomorrow for lunch like we are supposed to, he’ll be ready to talk and we can work this out. Sut is an amazing man with a big heart, and I know I have taken advantage of that. I have such a lot to make up for. I’m giving him time to work through things and when I have him in front of me again, I will get down on my knees and beg him to forgive me if I have to. I don’t want to lose my mate, man.”

  Aracas looked at him as if he was insane and had three
heads. “You’re fucking delusional, man. You won’t be seeing your mate. He’s not going to be there for lunch tomorrow or any other day, Cas. He walked away from you. He told you he was done. He told you goodbye. I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you have already lost your mate.”

  Cas stared at his friend and for the first time he really heard him. Not just heard the words, but heard him and felt the truth to them. Thinking about when Sut sang for the first time, he really saw what was in his mate’s eyes. For the first time, the words Sut had sung and the look on his face and in his eyes flashed before Cas.

  Shit, he really was the biggest asshole ever created. All week he was walking around believing he was giving his mate time to get over his anger, but in truth, he was fooling himself. He knew what the look on Sutton’s face meant… what he said and he was walking away from Cas, but he just couldn’t accept it. Just like he could never accept all the other rejections he had felt in his life, or the abandonment from everyone he had loved. As the truth of his mate truly leaving him seeped into his bones, a familiar sorrow entered him, and Cas clenched his teeth against the pain. Someone else that he loved with all his soul and who claimed to love him in return, had abandoned him, and he was once again alone.

  Aracas moved closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. Cas met his friend’s gaze and saw understanding there. Of everyone in his life, Aracas was the only true constant. The only one who never left him, but he could see in his best friend’s eyes that he had messed up more than ever, and most likely beyond repair. “Look, man, I know the struggles you’ve had. We’ve had more than our fair share of conversations about all of this, but this time I need you to really hear me, Cas. Don’t lose your mate, man. You’ll never forgive yourself, and this time there will be no hope of ever getting over this. I just saw Sutton and Logan in front of the firehouse loading supplies into their ambulance. Why don’t you go over and try to talk to him? Maybe this time you could throw that poor man a bone and actually open up a little to him. I think that might give him pause and rethink his stand on never seeing you again.”

  “Do you think he’ll listen?”

  Aracas gave him a sad smile. “At this point you’ve got nothing left to lose. Go tell that man why you are the way you are. Suck it up and be a man, Cas. Tell him.”

  Casimir looked at Luca and the children, then back to his best friend. Aracas smiled. “Go. I don’t have anything going today, so I’ll watch them.”

  “Thanks, man,” Cas replied, then took off across the square.

  He made a left down Tremont Avenue and picked up his pace. The firehouse was two blocks away and he could already see the ambulance sitting out front. As he got closer, Cas saw Logan head into the station and he looked around for his mate. Was Sut inside?

  As he got closer, he heard someone humming, then a soft voice began to sing, causing Cas to smile. He loved the way his mate sang. Sut had a great voice. Nothing like Deja, but he could hold his own. It was one of the things he loved most about Sutton. The times they lay in bed wrapped around one another after they had the most amazing sex and Sut would start to softly sing. It always filled him with a sense of peace that he hadn’t felt in a very long time.

  He approached the vehicle from the front and could see his mate inside through the windshield. Cas veered right to walk around the rig, then suddenly stopped as he heard the words Sut was singing and felt the pain and anger behind his voice.

  “Cause the joke that you made in the bed that was me, and I’m not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes. And you know it. And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back, I hope you feel it. Can you feel it?”

  “Damn, we’re into the Alanis Morissette portion of our anger, are we?” Logan said with a laugh, as he walked out of the station with supplies in his hands and moved to the rear of the rig, not even noticing Cas standing there.

  “What can I say? I love angry women. They say it like it is,” Sut replied.

  Just then an alarm sounded in the vehicle and Logan moved forward to the driver's seat. Casimir quickly moved to stand beside the building, hoping they wouldn’t catch sight of him.

  He watched as Logan grabbed the radio mic and spoke into it, then listened. The man's eyes widened from whatever he had been told, then suddenly the back doors slammed shut as the engine turned over. Casimir looked inside and saw his mate jump into the passenger seat and reach up to grab his seatbelt. As Sut twisted his upper body, pulling the belt around him to latch it, their gazes locked. Sut froze, his eyes cold and hard, but it was only for a very brief second, before his mate clicked the belt into place and looked away. He slapped on the dashboard of the rig and Logan took off, sirens blasting.

  Aracas was right. Sutton was truly done with him. Cas could see it in his eyes. Sut looked right through him as if he were nothing and no one. He had lost his mate. Unbelievable pain raced through him and Cas could feel his heart shatter as he lost his breath. He slammed his back against the brick wall as his knees gave out on him, and he slid down until his ass hit the pavement. He sat, totally numb and stunned, as he stared at nothing.

  The sound of the fire alarm blaring through the town and the trucks inside coming to life right before they raced out of the building brought him back to reality. Cas blinked his eyes as he watched the trucks head down the road toward the mountain pass between Maddox and Crystal.

  Casimir had no idea how long he just sat there trying to catch his breath and control the pain, as Sutton singing “Everytime I scratch my nails down someone else's back, I hope you feel it,” and the meaning behind them played over and over in his mind. He suddenly realized it was dark out, which meant he had to have been sitting there for hours. He placed a hand on the ground beside him and slowly got to his feet. As he straightened, a car pulled up, brakes squealing as it stopped in front of the station.

  Wyndingo raced out of the car, leaving the door open as he ran around the SUV and headed for the building. His surprised gaze landed on Cas and Wyn stopped. “We don’t have any information yet, Cas, I’m sorry. I can’t stay and talk now, I only came back for some of the blueprints Nick keeps here. Time is running out as you can guess and I need to get moving. If you’re looking for information, Illan set up a tent a mile from the location where the families can gather to get updates. I suggest you go there,” Wyndingo said hurriedly as he ran into the building.

  What the hell was he talking about? Information on what and why would he be interested? What was going on? He looked in the direction Wyn ran and noticed the fire trucks were still gone. If he had been sitting out there in a daze for hours as he suspected he had, then they should have been back from their fire by now, shouldn’t they?

  Then a thought hit him. Logan and Sutton had taken a call right before the trucks took off and no one was back yet. Had something happened to them? Wyn’s words came to him again, “We don’t have any information yet, Cas... If you’re looking for information, Illan has set up a tent a mile from the location where the families can gather to get updates. I suggest you go there.”

  Why would he be interested in that unless…

  Cas’s eyes widened as fear like he had never known before rocked his world. Sutton. Cas ran into the building just as Wyn was running out. He grabbed the man's arm, stopping him. “What the hell are you talking about? Is something wrong with Sutton?”

  Wyn looked at him with confusion for a moment, then finally spoke, “You don’t know?”

  Cas sighed. “Know what?”

  “There was a cave in at the Uranium Mine out on the Mountain Pass. There are people trapped.”

  “And I would be interested why?” he asked cautiously.

  Wyn looked uncomfortable as he slowly replied, “After the initial cave in we were able to send some men in and they got some of the miners out. A few were injured and Logan and Sutton went in to assess them and get them ready for transport to the trauma center. Unfortunately, while they were still inside, there was another cave in. A bigger one.�
�

  Cas’s whole life flashed before his eyes in that moment as he heard the words cave in, Sutton, and trapped.

  * * * *

  “So, do you think he heard you singing that song?” Logan asked.

  Without looking Sutton knew his best friend was smiling. He could hear it in his voice. He also knew exactly what Logan was referring to. As he had stocked up the rig he’d started singing “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette. Then, when Logan ran back in to get more blankets, Sutton had seen Casimir approaching the rig from the front and knew the man could see him. He figured if Cas could see him, then he could hear him, and Sutton jumped the timeline of the song to words he wanted to hit Cas in the heart with. Words he hoped hurt when Cas realized what they meant.

  Sut shrugged as he turned his head to look out the side window, hiding the smile on his face. “I don’t know. I couldn’t say what he heard or how long he was there.”

  Logan laughed. “You are so full of shit. I saw him when I left the rig. I also heard where you were in the song when I left and when I came back. I think you missed a verse, or two.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sutton replied innocently, but the smile grew across his face as he watched the scenery whizz by.

  “Yeah, I believe that. Shit, if I heard Jensen say he hoped I felt it every time he ran his nails down someone else's back, I would fucking flip and the world would pay. Thinking about another man fucking my man and him running his nails down their back... no fucking way. I never want that image in my head thank you very much. But, I can’t say the asshole doesn’t deserve it. Let him spend the night picturing you in that position with another man. Fuck... that’s just... damn,” Logan said, as he shook his head.

  “Yeah, well, we have more important things to think about then my ex-mate. How far out are we?”