Buck Vs. the Bulldog Ants

by David Kersey

CHAPTER SIXTY FOUR

  George Garrison awoke from the lumpy Motel 6 excuse for a bed to the sound of his cell phone alarm. He grabbed the TV remote and tuned in to the Indianapolis Fox affiliate at eight a.m. Saturday morning.

  “Our lead story is a breaking development from Beech Grove. Loretta Lamendola is live on the scene. Loretta, tell our viewers what is happening there?”

  “That’s right John. As you can see behind me I’m at the K and G Tavern just outside the beltway on south Emerson. Apparently late last night there was an armed robbery here that resulted in the stabbing death of the owner, a Mr. Kenneth Fairchild, who had been a long time resident of Beech Grove. His wife Gloria found his body behind the bar, stabbed multiple times in the abdomen, at approximately four a.m. when her husband didn’t come home from the tavern. Mrs. Fairchild said the bank bag was missing from the drawer under the register. So far no eye witnesses have come forward. It’s another tragic consequence of the tough economic times, it appears. Back to you, John.”

  “Loretta, what are the police saying? Do they have a suspect or suspects in mind?”

  “They will not make a comment on that, John, since the investigation is ongoing as I’m speaking to you. I can tell you however that two black juveniles were apprehended while walking the nearby streets shortly before the time that Mrs. Fairchild found her husband’s body. One of the young men was carrying a knife and had a large amount of cash on him. Police are saying there may be a connection. That’s all I have for now but I’ll stay on the story here and get back with you as soon as something further develops.”

  John turned to his female cohost. “Sharon, its alarming isn’t it? The seemingly ever increasing rash of armed robberies in our fair city, and this one leading to a gruesome murder?”

  “Quite alarming and tragic, John. In other news, an overnight house fire in Irvington completely……

  Garrison turned off the TV. “Sorry Mrs. Fairchild, I had no choice, but thank you for the fourteen hundred and twelve dollars,” he mumbled to himself. He had debated through the night inconclusively, but now the television talking heads had cinched it. He would lay low in the Motel 6 and keep his Monday appointment with the raghead proctologist. And it was a darn shame the two boys in custody would have to spend their hard earned dope money to hire a bad lawyer. Sometimes he couldn’t believe his own good fortune. His mission was being ordained from on high it seemed, as it damn well should be.

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  “Tillie, I’m glad you’re back. Did you have any trouble finding the places?”

  “Had a bit a trouble finding that attorney’s office but I got there. Got everything on the list, Miss Marlene. Met the Sheriff too. He’s a nice man. He helped me carry all the new linens for the farmhouse to the car. He wants to come out here some evenin’ to just socialize. He mighta had his eye on me, you think?”

  “Oh Tillie, before we talk about Chip, honey, we’re in business! We passed the final inspection with flying colors while you were in town. We can start moving in now, sweetie. Wow, it’s finally here, can you believe it? And look, here comes the phone company up the drive. We made it, kiddo, but good golly we’ve got a lot to do before the dogs start coming in next week. Let’s start with the reception area. So little time, so much to do.”

  “An’ now it’s time for your dreams to come true, mom,” Tillie sang while carrying two boxes of business forms inside the facility. “An’ the business permit is on the front seat. I had it framed for you, hope you don’t mind?”

  “Tillie, honey, I’m so glad I found you, and you found me. We are going to make this work, aren’t we?”

  “We got our feet in the right spot, mom, an’ that don’t happen by accident, you know?”

  “You are so right, Tillie, and that reminds me, I’ve got to call that Sergeant Garrison fellow and give him a time to show up if he still wants to. Don’t let me forget that.”

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  “Hey Buck, where you going?”

  “Hey Bblackie, Cassie and I were heading on out to the pond. We’re looking for Mortimer, you haven’t met him yet. He’s a mule.”

  “Can Thelma and I come?” She’ll behave since she’s my new girlfriend and I have got her on the invisible leash, you know how that goes. She can’t understand a word I’m saying, ain’t I the lucky guy? Watch this. Hey Thelma, you be one ugly dog.” Thelma tilted her head and cozied up to Bblackie.

  “Uh, well, no I don’t know about the leash thing, but I guess you can come, but you gotta promise not to chase after any of my smaller friends in case we see them.”

  “Well then it’s a double date. Let’s role.”

  “G’day mate, and g’day Miss Cassandra, who be the blokes shadowin’ ya?”

  “G’day Ferdinand. This is Bblackie and Thelma Lou. Blackie talks if you want to say hi.”

  “G’day Bblackie. You and the lady friend goin’ to be stickin’ round here?” Thelma stuck her paw in the water but quickly withdrew it.

  “Cold, ain’t it miss? She be needin’ me hibernaculum, she would.”

  “A what?” Bblackie tilted his head.

  “He’s talking about his hole.”

  “He ain’t flirting with Thelma is he Buck?”

  “Wwhhhaaazzzzzuuuupppp?”

  “Mort! We came out here to try and find you, how you doing big fella?”

  “Hheeaarrdd yyoouu ttaalllkkiinn. II’mmm ggoooodd.”

  “These are my new friends Bblackie and Thelma Lou.”

  “Hhoowwwdddyyy.”

  “He talks, Buck. How about that, and so does the Aussie frog!”

  “Actually Mort is the one who taught me how to talk.”

  “Well then wwhhhyyyyy ddddooooonnnn’ttt you talk like him?”

  “Thought you were going to mind your manners?”

  “Hello, you all, I heard you talking and I thought I’d join the party.”

  “My goodness, hello Penelope, let me introduce you to my new friends.”

  “Oh, come on now, a pig that talks?”

  “You betcha. She has taught other pigs to talk too, only they don’t live here.”

  “Buck, are we going to do the hayride? I hope so, that would be ssoooiieeeweet. And Bblackie, I speak Chinese and other languages. Wanna’ hear me do it?” Penny can sometimes fool you. I took it that she got rankled a little by the way Bblackie said the word pig with too much emphasis.

  She asked without having heard his reply, “Do you know what the Chinese call constipation?”

  “I give up, what?”

  “Hung chow.”

  Bblackie reared back and howled laughing. “Had that yesterday,” he volunteered. Thelma again cozied up to him. I wondered if she might be a Klingon. Time will tell.

  “Come on, let’s show our guests the circle. You want to come Ferd, you can hop on my back if you want?”

  “Negatory, mate, me thinks your bunch would rename me, I do.”

  “What name would they rename you Ferd?”

  “Dinner. G’day blokes.” Ferd sank below the water without making a ripple.

  The brand new wall phone in the reception area rang.

  “How should I answer it, mom?”

  “Try hello.”

  “Hello, Buck’s Canine Training Center. This is Tillie, may I help you castrate your canine? Just teasin’ ya.” She then lifted the phone off the cradle.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi Tillie, its John. Got a math problem for you. You ready?”

  “For sure.”

  “See if you can figure out what the last four numbers of your new phone number spell out?”

  “Let’s see, its 2825. Marlene, help me out, math ain’t my best learnin’.”

  “2825. Hmm. Oh my God, John, you rascal. It spells BUCK.”

  “I’ll be there in a half hour. On my way out the door now with a surprise.”

  M
arlene’s cell phone rang. “Hello?”

  “Oh hi, this is Sergeant Garrison, do you remember the chat we had?”

  “I do, in fact I had in mind to call you.”

  “Well how’s it coming over there? I have business I’m attending to over the weekend but wondered if I arrived there on Tuesday if that would be too soon? If it is I would still like to meet you and stay at a local motel or something until you’re ready.”

  “Tuesday is a little too soon, but not by much. I think by Wednesday you could stay in the place we’re fixing for our PTSD veterans. How’s that sound?”

  “Sounds wonderful. I will see you on Tuesday. I know how to get there because of the map on your website. See you then.” He hung up before she could mention that she had said Wednesday.

  “Marlene, look, quick, coming up the drive!”

  “John, you rascal, what is that? Is that our work van, Tillie? I think it is!”

  “For sure. Oh look, it’s got Buck’s picture on the side, an’ it’s all lettered up with the phone number as well. He is a rascal ain’t he?”

  John maneuvered the white business van through the gate and parked between the X close to the girls. A life sized picture of Buck and the lettering BUCK’S CANINE TRAINING FACILITY which included the new phone number appeared on both sides.

  “What do you think? Do you like it?” John said upon stepping out of the van.

  “It’s perfect John. I see the wire wall through the windshield. We truly do need this.”

  “There something else inside you may want to see. Open the rear doors.”

  “What? What have you brought home now?”

  She opened the rear doors and raised the back of her hand to her forehead. “Oh, John, how thoughtful.” She lifted out a floral arrangement that included three dozen red roses.

  “That’s a gift to you and Tillie and the Facility. Congratulations honey.” Marlene and John embraced. Tillie needed a part of that action too.

  “Oh, and something else. Here comes my car now.”

  John’s black Land Rover rounded the garage.

  “Who’s driving your car, John?”

  Before he could answer Sheriff Chip stepped out onto the car park. Tillie grabbed her cheeks with a shocked look in her eyes. “Mom, I ain’t got no makeup on! Listen, I ain’t gonna use the word ain’t around him, you hear me, please? He’ll think I’m a dadgum bumpkin.”

  “He’s off duty,” John said. “Come on, we’ll all go downstairs to the bar. So Tillie, maybe you could use the bathroom if you get my point. But listen honey, you are beautiful just the way you are.”

  They met Chip at the car park where Marlene gave him a hug. “Could I have one of those too?” Tillie requested. Chip accommodated with a laugh. The top of Tillie’s head met at Chip’s shoulder line which caused Marlene to giggle.

  “I’m not short I’ll have you know. He’s just tall.”

  The four walked downstairs but Tillie quickly disappeared.

  “Gotta be a quick one, John, in fact, I’ll take a rain check, this is really not a social visit. Lykins is on his way here to take me back to my car. Where’s Tillie? Hate to miss her before I go.”

  “She had to use the ladies room. She’ll be right out.”

  “Listen, there’s been a fourth murder by the cross killer. This one came over the radio not long ago and I’m concerned because the maniac is getting closer to here. The one I heard about today occurred either last night or this morning. It happened in Indianapolis and that’s getting too close for comfort. The deceased victim’s sister found her body around noon today. Same signature, same guy. Like I told you before, he’s after military women. Keep your eyes open.” His cell beeped indicating a text message. “Lykins is here. Tell Tillie goodbye for me. Remember, keep your eyes open. I’ll let myself out, enjoy your drinks.”

  A few moments after Chip left Tillie emerged from the TV room. She still had on the blue scrubs outfit but had changed from tennis shoes into three inch fire engine red heels. “Where’s Chip?” John and Marlene both laughed uproariously.

  “He had to leave, honey, he said for us to say goodbye to you for him.”

  “Awww, dagnabbit. How do I look?”

  “Like a raccoon in heat. Come on girl, you’re coming with me. I’ll show you some makeup tricks.”