“It makes me feel better.”
I groan as she snags the tub of ice cream from on the couch cushion where I’ve got it sitting – a spoon stuck out of the top.
“It does not,” she mutters as she stalks back to the kitchen with it. “It makes you feel bloated and gross.”
She’s right. It does.
I swear I’ve put on five kilos this past week.
“The only thing that’s going to make you feel better,” she informs me as she appears back in the living room, “is going and talking to Hudson and putting all your fucking cards on the table, because you are seriously miserable right now.”
“It’s got nothing to do with him,” I try and lie.
She laughs humourlessly. “Don’t start that shit with me, it has everything to do with him, and that’s exactly why I’m driving you over there so you can talk to him.”
“I can drive myself, you know. I have a license… and a car.”
“I know you do.” She raises her brows at me. “But what happened on Wednesday when I sent you over there?”
My brow furrows and I pout. “I went to McDonald’s for an hour.”
“Exactly.”
“It could have been worse, I could have gone somewhere that didn’t have free WiFi.”
She rolls her eyes at me.
“Get dressed.”
I cross my arms and legs stubbornly.
“Fine. Go looking like trailer trash, see if I care – but you’re going. I don’t care if I have to call Justin or Rusty over here to lift you into the car – I’ll do it,” she threatens me.
Shit.
She’s not even kidding.
“Fine,” I hiss. “I’ll get dressed.”
“Good.” She smirks in satisfaction. “And brush your hair or something, you look like one of those candyfloss sticks you get at a carnival.”
I flip her off, but when I get into my room and glance in the mirror, it’s actually a fair representation.
I tug my brush through the knotty mess and throw on some clothes that should pass her inspection.
She’s still waiting for me when I get back to the living room, only now her car keys are in her hand.
“Let’s go.”
***
The drive over there feels like it takes forever. There are nerves going crazy in my belly.
I don’t know what I’m going to say to him – ‘I’m miserable without you in my life’ is probably going to sound pretty pathetic.
“Stop jiggling your knee, it’s driving me insane,” Juliet demands as we round the final corner and find ourselves on Hudson’s street.
“Sorry,” I whisper.
She pulls up outside his house and I look up at the lit up windows.
“It looks like he has company, we should come back tomorrow.”
“It’s just Justin and the guys,” she says, pointing to the driveway where Justin, Rusty and Beast have all parked their vehicles. “Justin told me they were coming over to play video games tonight.”
“Well that’s settled then. I can’t talk to him in front of Justin.”
She rolls her eyes. “That’s why I’m here, sunshine. I’ll go hang out with the guys, and you can go talk to that scary man you’re so fond of.”
I feel the corner of my mouth twitch into a smile. “He’s not actually all that scary.”
That’s just a front for the world – to keep them somewhat at bay so he can live the life he wants – fight – but not get dragged into any media bullshit.
She opens her door. “Whatever you say, now, shall I send him out, or are you coming in?”
There’s no way I’m going to make even more of a loser of myself by staying in the car.
I open my door, and she grins triumphantly.
We walk side by side towards the house in silence. I can hear music coming from inside. It sounds like a lot more than a few video games.
“Are you sure they’re not having a party?”
She shrugs. “Not that I’m aware of.”
We reach the front door and Juliet gives me a little shove. “Hurry up and knock already.”
“Jeeze, calm down,” I grumble as I raise my hand and knock loudly on the wooden door.
My heart thumps in my chest, but nothing happens.
They can’t hear me over the music.
“They can’t hear, let’s just go.”
I turn and try to slip past her, but she’s not having any of it.
“Not so fast, chicken shit.”
She tries the handle, but the door is locked.
“Uh huh,” she announces victoriously as she spots and presses the door bell off to the side.
The bell sounds loudly through the house, and I hang my head in defeat. They’re definitely going to have heard that.
The volume of the music lowers and I hear feet approaching the door.
My heart rate speeds up again. I don’t know if I’m ready for this – to come face to face with the man I shouldn’t want, but one hundred percent do.
The door swings open and I hear myself gasp.
This is not who I was expecting to see.
“Can I help you?” Vanessa asks, her brow cocked arrogantly.
She’s standing there in his doorway, acting like the lady of the house and all of a sudden, I feel like I might be sick.
I torture myself, letting my eyes look her over from head to toe – she’s a bitch, you can tell from the look in her eye, but she’s also gorgeous.
“Is Hudson here?” Juliet asks her politely.
“Yeah… he’s here,” Vanessa replies, her lips curving into a sly grin.
“So can we speak to him or what?” Juliet demands and I give her a virtual high-five.
Vanessa narrows her eyes at me, and I know she remembers me from the last time I was here. I wish I knew why she was here again.
She turns, takes a few steps into the house and calls over her shoulder, “Horror, someone is here to see you.”
Hudson appears behind her, shirtless – that sexy eagle tattoo spread wide across his chest, he’s got a drink in one hand, a laugh is still falling from his lips.
Until his eyes land on me at least.
“Ramsey?” he breathes.
“Hey,” I squeak, waving awkwardly.
Vanessa welds herself to his side, her arm snaking out to wrap around his waist. “Who is she, babe?”
I watch the action like it’s happening in slow motion.
I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but I can’t. I feel physically ill.
“I shouldn’t have come,” I whisper, and when I turn and push past Juliet, she doesn’t even try to stop me this time.
This was a mistake. I should never have just turned up here like this.
I run down the path and I hear Hudson yelling my name, but I don’t turn.
I reach the car and swing the door open just in time for his hand to come crashing down, slamming it shut again.
I’ve got my back pinned against the car door before I even register that he’s there, one of his toned arms on either side of my head.
“Ramsey,” he says, and his eyes search my face for a clue as to what the fuck I’m doing here. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m sorry,” I stutter. “I can’t stand there and talk to you while she’s got her claws on you… I just can’t.”
He frowns at me. “Vanessa?” he questions.
I can’t answer him without spinning into a jealous rage, so I say nothing.
I don’t know why it hurts so much to see them together, but it does.
He had me, and then disregarded me. Maybe he does the same to her, I don’t know, but I certainly don’t want to see it.
My fucked-up heart has fallen for this man – as much as he doesn’t deserve it.
“I should just go.”
“You’re not leaving until you tell me what you’re doing here.”
I hear a door slam and I peer around his arm to see that J
uliet and bitch face are gone.
“I wanted to talk to you,” I whisper as his dark, smouldering eyes drag my focus back to him.
He flexes and every muscle in his half-naked body tenses.
This is the first time he’s ever really looked one hundred percent frightening to me.
I know he wouldn’t hurt me, but I’m still afraid.
“Now you want to talk to me?” he demands.
I nod weakly.
“I called and called, Ramsey.”
“I know,” I whisper, I know because I ignored every single one, until they stopped coming. I didn’t know what else to do.
“What the fuck happened?” he demands.
I feel the tears welling in my eyes. “You broke my heart,” I practically yell at him.
“I broke your heart?” he growls. “Me?”
I nod, the drops of moisture sliding down my face now. “You promised you wouldn’t and then you did.”
“You blew my heart to smithereens!” he roars into the night, pushing off the car and running his hand through his hair in frustration. “Jesus Christ, Ramsey, what the fuck is this?”
I don’t know what he’s saying – none of this makes sense. All I know for sure is that he hurt me. He hurt me with his words when he didn’t even know I could hear them.
I cling to that with all the strength I have.
“What did you think was going on between us? That we were going to sleep together, fall in love and run off into the sunset?” I throw the words that broke me, back at him like venom.
“Fuck this,” he growls, stalking away.
“What do you care anyway, right? Plenty more where I came from.”
He turns and steps back in my direction, then thinks better of it and paces back towards the house again.
“I’m sure Vanessa will be more than happy to fill the void.”
I can’t seem to stop. I can’t make myself stop talking.
“She’s nothing to me,” he roars, facing me again, “a leech, a problem I can’t get rid of. She. Is. Nothing.”
“And I guess I’m nothing too,” I whisper, my voice cracking under the weight of my emotions.
His dark eyes widen but I don’t give him time to reply.
“I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t. I’m done,” I tell him, my voice empty and hollow.
I turn and start walking down the street into the dark night.
I don’t know how long Juliet is going to be in there and I can’t sit in the car and wait, or worse yet – stay out here arguing with him. My heart can’t take it.
“Ramsey!” he calls after me. “Don’t just walk away.”
I swipe at the tears running uncontrollably down my cheeks, but I don’t look at him as he continues yelling after me.
There’s no going back now.
In the movies the guy always chases after the girl when she walks away from him.
This definitely isn’t the movies – this is my sad, pathetic life, because when I walk away, he doesn’t follow.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Hudson
“Motherfucker!” I bellow into my yard, the curse echoing around the quiet street.
I punch a small tree and it snaps back, almost cracking in half.
This must be my karma for betraying my best mate, because fuck I’m hurting.
I don’t know what the hell just went on here in my front yard, but it’s the opposite of what I wanted to happen, and now she’s out there in the darkness by herself.
I jog up to my door and throw it open, not even bothering to close it behind me.
Vanessa is lingering in the hallway, her eyes darting to me the instant I enter, before glancing behind me to see if I’m alone.
Her lips turn up into a grin when she sees I am.
I don’t know what the fuck Beast was thinking bringing those chicks over here – Cassidy – the girl he’s interested in is cool, and her other friend is alright too, but Vanessa – not so much.
She’s been on me like a rash ever since she arrived and I’m sick to fucking death of it.
This is the last time she’s going to fuck things up for me. She messed with Ramsey and that is not going to fly with me.
I point a warning finger at her as I storm past. “Wait there,” I demand.
She salutes me, thinking she’s hot as fucking shit, and it takes everything I have not to throw her out on her ass right now.
I can hear noise coming from upstairs, so I assume that’s where everyone else is.
I stride up the stairs to my games room and take a deep breath before sticking my head around the door frame and looking around for Juliet.
She’s right where I expect her to be, under one of Justin’s arm.
The other two girls are sitting with Beast and Rusty – watching them play some car racing game I never got into.
It’s like a fucking triple date in here.
“Hey, Jules, Ramsey isn’t feeling well – can you drive her home?”
Justin glances up at me before shifting his gaze down to Juliet.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
She nods eagerly and slides out from her seat.
She steps away but he snags her hand, halting her.
He squeezes her hand and a look passes between them.
I know what that look means.
It reminds me of the way I feel when I see Ramsey.
Justin is screwed.
He drops her hand and she rushes from the room, blushing.
She slips past me and sits her hands on her hips as she glares at me.
“What the hell—”
“Shhh,” I hiss at her.
I grab her arm and drag her into a spare room a few doors down.
She narrows her eyes at me and tugs her arm out of my hold.
“What did you do?” she demands.
“Honestly?” I ask, my hand running through me hair. “I’ve got no fucking idea, but we argued, and she stormed off.”
Juliet’s eyes widen.
“I’d have gone after her myself, but she’d be too stubborn to get in the car.”
“So you just let her walk off into the night alone?”
“Can you yell at me later?” I plead. “Right now, I just need to know she’s okay.”
She looks like she wants to stand here and yell at me for five minutes, but she doesn’t – she glares at me one last time and turns, storming out of the room and down the stairs.
“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, honey.” I hear Vanessa giggle like the fucking bitch she is.
I don’t know how I ever thought sleeping with that psycho was a good idea.
She’s the reason I had a drink tonight in the first place – I thought if I had some alcohol thrumming in my veins that maybe she wouldn’t be so painful to deal with.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I had a drink – so she had a drink and that only made her more annoying.
I think I’d need to get hit by a truck to make this bitch any less painful.
I stalk across the living area, snagging her jacket from where she’s tossed it over the back of the couch.
Her shoes are kicked off in two random spots of my living room – like she owns the damn place.
I scoop them up too and dump all her shit in a pile at her feet.
The smug smirk slowly falls from her lips. “What are you doing?”
“Taking out the trash.”
Her eyes widen. “You’re kicking me out? For what? Her?”
“Fuck yes for her. You crossed the line the second you looked at her with that evil fucking glint in your eye, so I’m doing what I should have done the minute you walked in – I’m kicking you out.”
“You can’t kick me out.”
“Can’t I?” I chuckle darkly. I’d like to see her try and stop me.
“My friends are upstairs.”
“Does it look like I give a shit? Either you go up and get them, or you leave on your
own.”
Her mouth opens and closes like a goldfish, but nothing comes out.
“Beast!” I bellow up the stairs.
“Yeah?” he calls back.
“Vanessa needs to go, you ready to take off?”
“Be down in a sec,” he replies.
I smirk at Vanessa as she looks on in shock, like she can’t believe I’m really serious.
Justin appears on the stairs, everyone else coming down behind him.
“What’s going on?” he asks me, sensing the tension between us instantly.
“She was being a bitch to Ramsey and Juliet,” I tell him honestly.
Vanessa’s eyes widen further.
Justin looks at her like the piece of scum she is.
“Get her out of here,” I say lazily, turning away from her and strolling into my kitchen.
I don’t give a shit who does the job, as long as it gets done.
Beast shoots me an apologetic glance, but it’s not his fault. Vanessa is the problem here.
“Don’t even think about coming within a two-mile radius of me again, Vanessa,” I drawl as I hear everyone shuffling out the front door.
I hear a whimpering noise and I chuckle.
“About time you blacklisted that skank.”
I flip the top off another beer and bring the bottle to my lips.
“She the reason Ramsey took off so quick?” he asks.
I glance at him. He looks worried for his sister.
I seriously consider telling him – the whole truth about what’s going on.
Justin is the guy I go to if I’ve got women troubles, but I doubt he’s going to be too forthcoming with advice if he knew that the only woman I want to talk about is his sister.
“I think that had something to do with it,” I reply.
It’s not a total lie at least.
I may not have a clue what we just fought about, but I know Vanessa being here tonight didn’t help the situation in the slightest.
He eyes me curiously for a moment and I don’t like it, it feels like he’s seeing too much.
“I’m going to hit the road too,” he tells me, slinging his thumb over his shoulder.
I nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
He tips his chin up at me. “Better make that your last beer, wouldn’t want it to be too easy to beat you.” He chuckles.
Mr. July: An MMA Sports Romance (Calendar Boys Book 7) Page 10