I shake my head and smirk at him.
He’s so full of shit.
I listen as he leaves and then I’m all alone.
The hideous music Vanessa was playing has been shut off and it’s airily quiet in here.
I make my way around the living room, collecting bottles, turning off lights and locking doors before going upstairs to do the same.
It’s not until I’m in my room, alone, replaying everything Ramsey said to me tonight that it hits me.
Those were my words – not hers.
She heard me on the phone last week after we slept together.
Fucking hell.
Blood pounds in my ears as I think about the mistake I’ve made.
I’ve screwed everything up.
She was right.
It was me who broke her heart and I’m a total fucking wanker for it.
***
I pound the bag over and over again until my vision is blurry from the exertion.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” I hear Justin behind me, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders and pulling me backwards. “You trying to wreck yourself?”
“Just letting off some steam.” I grunt as I shrug him off.
I shift to leg work, throwing kicks and knees with all the strength I can muster.
I haven’t got shin guards on, and I know I’ll wind up leaving bruises using a bag this firm, but I don’t care.
“One of those days, huh?” I hear him grumble as he tosses his gym bag to the floor.
He leaves me alone for a few minutes.
“Let’s go then.” I hear the familiar clap of the focus pads being smacked together.
I turn and he’s layered up in protective gear.
“You want to beat the shit out of something? Come on then,” he taunts me.
I shift my focus from the bag to him.
He grins at me. “Let me know when you’re exhausted – then we’ll jump in the ring… it’ll make kicking your ass reeeealll easy.”
I nod in agreement.
I might even let him beat me today – it’s the least I deserve.
I advance on him, already in my fighting stance, and I hit him until I can’t lift my arms and my legs are threatening to stop holding me up.
“Enough,” he barks after what seems like an eternity.
I drop to the floor and suck in deep breath after deep breath.
He rips off the padding on his legs and around his middle and tosses it to the ground.
He tugs up his t-shirt and winces as he prods at his side. “You crazy bastard, I think you cracked one of my ribs.”
I glance up at him and shrug. I’m too wrecked to speak.
He’ll be alright. It’s nothing he hasn’t done to me over the years.
“What the fuck was that all about?”
I ignore him. Why I’ve got so much pent up aggression is the last thing I want to talk about right now.
I spot Randy across the gym, and he grins when he sees me in a heap on the floor.
“Getting back in shape, kid?” He chuckles as he looks between me and Justin, who is still trying to decide if he’s broken something or not.
I nod, still desperately trying to suck air into my lungs.
“Good, you’re going to need to be.”
I want to ask him what that’s meant to mean, but the words aren’t coming out – I’m concerned if I open my mouth to try, I’ll vomit.
“What do you want him in shape for?” Justin cuts in, saving me.
“He’s been challenged.” Randy grins.
Justin reaches into his gear bag and tosses me an electrolyte drink.
It hits me on the shoulder, and I reach for it, my arms shaking. There’s no way in hell I was catching that.
I’ve pushed my body to its absolute limit in the past two and a half hours.
“Challenged by who?” Justin demands.
This is nothing new, but the excited look on Randy’s face is.
He only gets excited when a big name comes knocking.
“Sonny Perez.”
Shit.
This is big.
The first half of my career, I fought as a lightweight – I hold the belt for that division. More recently I’ve stepped into the cage as a welterweight – about fifteen pounds heavier than I was.
Sonny is a champion middleweight fighter – another whole weight class up from me.
“He wants to challenge that shiny new belt.”
Taking this fight wouldn’t be a smart move on my behalf.
I’ll come in just over the minimum weight and he’d scrap in right under the maximum.
We could stand in that cage with ten to fifteen pounds difference between us.
“No fucking way, get that stupid grin off your face, there is no way in fuck that we’re going to—”
“Take it,” I interrupt him, finding my voice.
A calm settles over me as I say the words, and I know then that there won’t be any talking me out of this.
I need a distraction from Ramsey, and what better way than prepping for what could be the toughest fight of my career.
“Horror, he’s coming down a weight class, he’ll crush you.”
“I’ll put weight on.”
“It won’t help,” Justin argues. “You know they’re going to have you vacate that lightweight belt unless you drop back down for another fight soon – that’s what we should be focusing on.”
“I said, take it.” I pin him with my stare, leaving no room for argument.
“Your fucking funeral,” he mutters under his breath.
“For real?” Randy asks, his eyes dancing with anticipation.
“Call them. We’ll take it.” I nod.
“When are they talking?” Justin demands.
He might not like the idea at all, but he’ll be there beside me, training me the whole way.
“In a month.”
“That’ll do.” I nod at him.
“Jesus, Mary and Joseph.” Justin smacks a focus pad down on the ground. “Are you on a suicide mission or something? You seriously want to fight Sonny Perez in four and half weeks’ time?”
“I don’t just want to,” I say as I push to my feet and head for the showers. “I am.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Ramsey
Words like ‘death wish’, ‘idiot’, ‘tough bastard’ and ‘suicide mission’, ring in my ears.
Even Juliet can’t calm Justin down this afternoon.
He’s come over once a week for the past four weeks, ranting and raving, and normally nursing some type of injury that he needs me to treat for him.
Every time he comes to that door, I look behind him, hoping like hell that Hudson will be there with him… but he never is.
I haven’t laid eyes on Hudson ‘The Horror’ Scott for a little over four weeks, but I’ve certainly heard enough to make it impossible to try and forget him.
Not that I ever could forget him anyway. I’m not sure who I think I’m kidding.
No matter how much I might want to, he’s etched permanently into my brain, and my heart.
“Remind me again why he’s taking this fight?” Juliet shoots me a sympathetic glance.
I don’t know why she feels responsible for Justin’s relentless whining, but she clearly does.
Truthfully, I’m not sure if he comes here to see me or her, he always gives me a hug, and then takes up his usual spot on the couch next to Jules.
That’s when the moaning starts.
“Because he’s an idiot.” He drops his head into his hands and groans. “Sonny is a killer, even coming down a weight class; he’s going to be brutal.”
I shudder.
The last thing I want to hear about is someone ‘brutal’ being in a cage with the man I’ve fallen for but want to hate.
No matter what cruel things he said or did, I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. I don’t want to see him get hurt.
“So, he’s going to get his ass kicke
d?” I ask nervously.
Justin glances up at me. “I honestly don’t know – and that’s what scares me.”
“You never know who’s going to win a fight, Justin,” Juliet reminds him.
“But I do,” he argues. “I haven’t steered him wrong yet. He’s undefeated in his professional career, and I’d really like to fucking keep it that way.”
“Everyone loses sometimes,” I mutter, and it’s not until I say the words that I realise where I heard them.
It’s exactly what Hudson told me when he walked me home that night – the night that changed everything between us.
“Not Horror,” Justin argues and deep down, I agree.
Losing and Hudson don’t go together in the same sentence.
He’s a winner. He gets what he wants.
Me included.
Until he didn’t want me anymore that is.
“How’s the training going?” Juliet asks, steering Justin’s focus back to her. “Is he looking good at least?”
“He’s in the best shape of his life. He’s put on a pound or two, but he’s been grinding away in the gym so often it’s been too hard to keep anything more on him.”
I know that feeling. I’ve put on a pound or two myself. Given that I’m still drowning my sorrows in ice cream nearly every night, I guess it’s to be expected.
“He’s in there every day before I arrive, and if I don’t physically force him to come with me when I go, he’s still been training when I leave.”
“Man on a mission, huh?” Juliet muses.
“I’ve never seen anything like it. Hudson has always been a hard bastard, but this is next level, even for him. It’s like he’s running from someone, or taking out his frustrations about something…” he turns his head to look at me. “Has he said anything to you?”
I shake my head. “Not a thing.”
And it’s the truth. Justin doesn’t realise just how literally I mean that, but he seems satisfied with my answer. We haven’t spoken a single word to one another.
Hudson’s fight is tomorrow, and truthfully, I’m scared about what happens after – Justin is going to expect me to treat his injuries, and I don’t know how the hell I’m going to manage to do that.
“You two are coming, right?” he asks then, as though the idea has only just occurred to him.
I feel the colour draining from my face and I couldn’t pinpoint if it was down to the idea of seeing Hudson again, or the mere thought of the blood.
“I have to work late tomorrow night, so I’m out, sorry.” Juliet shrugs.
I’ve never loved her more than I do right now.
I know damn well she doesn’t have to work. She’s giving me an out.
“I think I’ll give it a miss after last time. I don’t want to pass out and embarrass everyone again.”
That’s not a lie either – I’d only faint quicker if it was Hudson I had to hear getting hit.
Justin chuckles, and I’m glad he finds it amusing. “True.” He flicks his gaze between me and Jules. “That sucks – I’ll let you know how it goes.”
I’ll already know how it goes. I’ll be watching it live – well, maybe not watching, but listening for the results.
“I’ll get two tickets sent over just in case you finish early and Ram-Ram suddenly hardens up.” He taps the end of Juliet’s nose, and she grins at him.
I roll my eyes.
I’m going to have to talk to the pair of them.
They need to just get on with being together already. I’m sick of watching them dance around their feelings.
I’ve got enough of that going on in my own head.
“I’ll see you girls later, I need to go make sure Horror hasn’t snuck back into the gym.”
I grab my laptop and snuggle down on the couch.
I wave out to Justin as Juliet walks him to the door, the pair of them giggling like school kids.
I narrow my eyes at their backs. He definitely comes here for her.
I bring up Google and type ‘Hudson Scott vs Sonny Perez’ into the search bar.
I don’t know why I’m doing this to myself.
This is bound to bring up endless images of the sexy man with the eagle tattoo, but I need to see what he’s up against.
I swallow the lump in my throat as I lay eyes on the man Hudson will be fighting in less than twenty-four hours.
His opponent is huge – shorter than Hudson the stats tell me, but built like a brick shit house.
Where Hudson is lithe and toned, this guy is bulky and solid.
They look nothing like a perfect match.
I wipe my palms on my leggings, I don’t know why, but I feel ill all of a sudden.
I’m dying to pick up my phone and call Hudson so I can beg him not to go through with this fight, but it’s all too late.
He’ll fight, regardless of what I do or don’t say – so I won’t embarrass myself by trying.
“Are you okay?”
I tear my gaze from the screen and meet Juliet’s eyes. She looks like she feels sorry for me.
I close my laptop quickly. I can’t look at it any longer.
I shake my head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… it’s been a month, I should be over him by now but instead I just feel sick to my stomach all the time.”
“Should I get the ice cream?” she offers.
I shake my head again. “No, I seriously nearly puked this morning, I think I might have made myself intolerant to dairy or something.”
She huffs out a laugh. “The amount you’ve been eating, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
She crosses the room and sits down in her spot on the other end of the couch. “You could just call him, you know?”
I fiddle with a loose string on the blanket I have draped across my lap. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s in the zone. He’s got the fight to think about – he doesn’t need me messing with his head.”
“What about your head? That’s the one I’m worried about.”
I give her a grateful smile. “I’ll be alright, I promise. I think I’m going to get an early night though – I’m super tired and I really don’t feel so good.”
The image of Hudson standing toe to toe with the man who looks like he could rip a car in half swirls though my mind.
It’s enough to make anyone feel sick.
I feel her eyes on me as I leave the room, but I’m not in the mood for conversation.
I just want to crawl into bed and let sleep take me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Hudson
“Go home, Horror, for fuck’s sake, what are you still doing here?” Rusty demands.
I scowl at him. “What do you want?”
Justin must have sent him.
I’m one day out from the most important fight of my life, and I know I should be resting, but I can’t sit still.
I can’t get my brain to stop working and the only way I can figure out how to get my thoughts off her, is to run myself into the ground.
When I told her that everyone loses sometimes, I didn’t know how right I was. Only it wasn’t a fight that I lost; it was something far more important. It was her.
I can’t sleep unless I’m physically exhausted, and if I can’t sleep, I lie awake all night thinking about how the fuck I’m going to get Ramsey Ashton back, and then how I’ll be willing to betray my best mate all over again if she’ll have me.
It’s a catch twenty-two. I want that girl more than anything, but I don’t want to lose my best mate either.
I promised myself I’d give her space once I took this fight, mostly because she needed it – and I did too, but also because I’ve been working myself to the bone these past few weeks, so there’s been no time for falling in love.
I’ve never, ever pushed myself this hard, but it was worth it – I feel more ready than ever.
And now that the fight is looming, my mind is shifting to what comes after.
Ramsey.
I
hope to god this break has made her see things in the same clarity I have.
I might have been working my body to the bone, but inside I’ve been fighting my toughest battle yet – the one against my heart.
I fucked things up with her, but if there’s even the tiniest of chances she’ll take me back, then I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen – best mate be damned.
“Justin was worried you were going to get back on the bag,” Rusty explains.
I huff out a breath. “Well you can tell the overreacting bastard that I’m strictly watching.”
I turn away from Rusty and watch the young kid with the ginger hair – Oliver – working combos with one of the boxing trainers.
“He’s looking good,” Rusty observes.
“He certainly is.”
“Might have to watch those belts, boy, there’s a new fish in town.”
I chuckle, but he’s not wrong. Given another five years, Oliver could be where I was when my career started.
We watch in companionable silence for a few minutes.
“You seem different lately, man, what’s going on with you?”
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye before going back to watching the fighters working their combos.
“I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“A girl with pink hair by any chance?” he questions.
I should deny it, but what’s the point, he can clearly see more than I want him to, and I’ve been dying to talk to someone about this.
I glance at him again and there’s no hint of taunting on his face.
“Maybe.”
“She’s as miserable as you are motivated,” he mutters, shaking his head.
That’s not what I want to hear. I don’t need an ego feed – I need her happy.
If she’s happy, I’ll be happy.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but you gotta make it right, Horror.”
“I will. Trust me, man, I can’t stand the distance between us – as soon as I’m done with this fight, I’ll be knocking her door down. But I don’t know what I’m gonna do about Justin.”
He nods. “It’s a tough spot, but I reckon it’ll all work out.” He claps me on the shoulder. “Unless you hurt her… then you’re a dead man walking.”
Mr. July: An MMA Sports Romance (Calendar Boys Book 7) Page 11