Sanctuary

by Courtney McPhail

  They heard the low rumble of the ATV as it pulled up front of the clinic and Jackson looked around worried.

  “Ya got anythin’ to cover me up?” he asked, his voice tinged with worry.

  Veronica stepped over to the other hospital bed and pulled off the blue sheet and draped it around his shoulders. She knew he hated his scars and he obviously didn’t want Mendez to see them.

  She wondered what exactly that said about his trust in the woman. After his initial hesitation of removing his shirt, which she was sure was just a knee jerk reaction, he had been fine bearing himself to her and Quinton.

  She shook her head, ridding herself of those silly thoughts. His trust in Mendez or anything else about their relationship wasn’t her business.

  The clinic door opened and she heard a couple pairs of feet running down the hallway. Audrey and Hannah burst into the room with Mendez close behind him, the two girls making a beeline for Jackson’s bed.

  “I found these two and they wanted to see you so they caught a ride with me,” Mendez told her.

  “Jackson, are you okay?” Hannah asked, her big blue eyes worried as she stared at his bandaged ankle.

  “Yep, I’m good, Squirt,” he told her. “Coupla bumps and bruises but nothin’ a couple days of rest won’t fix.”

  “Good,” Hannah said, letting out a sigh and then patting his knee. “I was very worried about you.”

  The rest of them chuckled at Hannah’s earnest words and Veronica moved over to wrap her arm around Audrey, who was still looking at Jackson’s sling with concern.

  “He’s going to be okay as long as he rests,” Veronica told her, rubbing a soothing hand over her arm.

  “It’s going to be up to all of us to make sure he actually rests,” Mendez said, running a hand over Hannah’s hair. “We all know Jackson is stubborn, right? We’re going to have to be on Jackson Watch. You see him trying to do anything he shouldn’t, you tell me and I’ll give him a talking to.”

  “I don’t need a coupla babysitters,” Jackson complained, glaring at them and Audrey smiled up at Veronica.

  “He’s gonna be a pain in the ass, isn’t he?” she said.

  Hannah gasped. “Audrey said ass.”

  “So did you,” Audrey shot back and Hannah gasped again, clapping a hand over her mouth.

  Mendez laughed at them. “Swearing is forgiven when you are in the clinic. Now, let’s help get Jackson in the wagon and get him back to the cabin, alright? Girls, you grab the medicine and his shirt and boot. The rest of us will help him out there.”

  Once again Veronica felt like she was in the twilight zone. Since when had Mendez developed a rapport with the girls? She was heartened to see that Audrey eyed Mendez suspiciously instead of obeying her. That helped Veronica steady herself. Things hadn’t completely changed into a world where Mendez was the girls’ new BFF and soon-to-be mother figure.

  “Grab his stuff,” Veronica told Audrey. “You girls will have to ride with him in the wagon to keep him from bumping around.”

  The girls gathered up his things as Quinton went to Jackson’s left side and put his good arm around his shoulder and helped him to a standing position. Veronica moved to Jackson’s other side, a hand on his back to keep him steady as he started to hop towards the door, ready to catch him in case he lost his balance. Mendez held the door open for them as they got him out of the clinic and down the steps to the wagon.

  Once he was seated, Audrey and Hannah jumped in on either side of him while Mendez climbed on the ATV. Veronica realized that there was no room left in the wagon for her and wasn’t that a hell of a metaphor for how she felt right now.

  “Veronica, hop on,” Mendez said, interrupting her bitter thoughts as she gestured at the seat behind her on the ATV.

  Veronica felt like a complete idiot and wanted to kick herself. She was acting like a jealous, paranoid bitch who was reading ulterior motives in someone that up until last night she had really liked. She was being utterly ridiculous and it was stopping right now.

  “Thanks,” she said with a smile and climbed on behind Mendez as Quinton gave Jackson the dosage instructions for the sleeping pills.

  Mendez kept them at a slow pace so they wouldn’t jar Jackson too much and when they arrived at the cabin, Nas and Banks were sitting on the porch waiting for them.

  “You okay, buddy?” Banks asked when they had come to a stop in front of the cabin.

  “M’fine,” he grunted out as he shifted to the end of the wagon. “Be better when I’m inside and everybody stops gawkin’ at me.”

  “Sounds like he’s good,” Nas grinned as he and Banks moved over to help Jackson to stand up and helped him inside the cabin.

  The guys got him to the couch easily, half carrying him there, and Veronica knew that Jackson was getting tired since he didn’t make any protest at their help.

  “Girls, go get the pillows off his bed so we can prop up his ankle,” Veronica told them as she set down the pill bottles and extra ice packs on the end table next to the couch. She crossed over to the water jug that was on the big table and poured out a glass of water for him. She brought it back to set next to the pills as Mendez grabbed the pillow that was already on the couch and plumped it up before putting it behind his back so he could recline comfortably.

  He tried to wave her away as she adjusted the pillow behind him. “I don’t need nobody fussin’ over me.”

  “Dude, milk it for all it’s worth,” Banks said. “Not only do you get a couple days’ vacation, you get a couple of hot chicks fawning all over you. You play this right and I bet you can get a sponge bath out of this.”

  Mendez smacked Banks on the shoulder. “Don’t be vulgar. There are children present.”

  Audrey and Hannah came out of the bedroom with the extra pillows. Audrey propped up Jackson’s ankle while Hannah shoved the pillows under it.

  “Ya girls are good nurses,” he told them. “Feelin’ better already.”

  “How did you get hurt?” Hannah asked.

  “I wasn’t watchin’ what I was doin’ and I fell off the boathouse,” he told her and she frowned at him.

  “You need to be more careful,” she told him, her face serious and Banks laughed at her.

  “Smart girl you got here,” he said. “He was mad ‘cause we were ripping on him about--”

  “Ya were bein’ a coupla jerks is what happened,” Jackson cut him off. “Y’all did yer good deed for the day helpin’ me in here but I’m sure y’all got other stuff to be doin’ so might as well get the hell outta here and leave me alone.”

  Jackson’s angry tone didn’t faze Banks, who just grinned at him before he clapped Nas on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s go. This guy isn’t any fun when he’s in a pissy mood.”

  “We’re glad you’re okay, Jackson,” Nas told him, patting his good shoulder before he headed towards the door and Banks followed him but he paused as he passed Veronica.

  “I was serious about the sponge bath,” Banks said to her in a low tone. “A babe like you soaping him up, it’ll make his year.”

  He winked at her and then followed Nas out the door, leaving Veronica staring after him wide eyed. What the hell was going on with everyone?

  “Alright, I’m going to go too, give you guys some family time,” Mendez said. “Besides, I don’t trust them with that ATV. They are going to end up wrecking it trying to do some jump or something. I’ll see you later.”

  Mendez crossed towards the door and smiled at her. “Let me know if you guys need anything.”

  As Mendez disappeared out the door, Veronica felt like a world class bitch. All that jealousy and worry for nothing. Whatever was going on between Mendez and Jackson, the woman obviously had no intention of trying to replace her in the little family they had made with the girls.

  And, of course, that was all she cared about. Her worry and jealousy was tied up in being replaced in this family and nothing else. It certainly had nothing to do with the thought that he might be sle
eping with another woman.

  She brushed aside that thought and put a smile on her face. “Are you comfortable?”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” he said, settling back against his pillow. “Think I’m gonna go crazy laid up here, starin’ at the ceiling.”

  “We can get you books from the lodge,” Audrey said. “There’s a whole bunch of novels. Mostly spy stuff.”

  “Probably straight outta the CIA library,” Jackson cracked, “But ain’t really in the readin’ mood right now, maybe tomorrow though.”

  “Tell us about another movie,” Hannah said, her eyes bright with excitement.

  “I think we should let Jackson rest,” Veronica said but Jackson shook his head.

  “Nah, it’s okay. It’ll help distract from the pain. Ya girls ever hear about Ferris Bueller?” They shook their heads. “Alright, pull up a chair and I’ll tell ya ‘bout it.”

  Audrey went and sat in one of the armchairs while Hannah took a seat on the floor right in front of the couch, looking up at Jackson with rapt attention.

  “It all starts when Ferris decides he needs a day off from school,” Jackson started as Veronica took a seat in the other armchair. She smiled as the girls leaned in as Jackson kept going.

  It was just like when they had been on the road in the van and Veronica felt grounded again. Things were still the same between all of them. They were still a family and nothing that came along was going to change that.

  Subject File # 749

  Administrator: You were quite nervous during your first session but you seem much more comfortable now.

  Subject: I realized that I need this. I know I can talk to the others but half the time I feel like I have to put a positive spin on everything to keep their hopes up. With you I can be honest about my own worries.

  Janet climbed the ladder to the loft in the lodge, feeling her trepidation growing with every step. It was time for her first evaluation with Angela and she was nervous. She wasn’t new to therapy, meeting with someone after Eric’s death, both with the kids and alone, but this was different.

  She’d talked to the others about their earlier sessions with Angela and she knew the procedure. Angela didn’t seem intent on trying to pin a diagnosis on them. Instead she just wanted to talk to them about their experiences since the infection had started.

  But that just worried her more. All Janet wanted to do was forget everything that had happened to them on the road. Just lock all the memories up in a dark corner of her mind and leave them to gather dust.

  Except she knew that wasn’t healthy and was exactly why Angela wanted to meet with them.

  Still, knowing that didn’t do anything to ease her anxiety as she reached the loft and found Angela sitting in one of the overstuffed chairs that formed a semi-circle in the centre of the loft. She had a legal pad and pen in her lap and a small digital recorder was sitting on the coffee table in front of the chairs.

  “Hi Janet,” Angela greeted her. “Thank you for coming. Please have a seat.”

  She went to the chair next to her and perched on the edge of it, her hands folded in her lap.

  “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to record our conversation today. I’ll be taking notes but I like to have full recordings as well,” she said, leaning forward to pick up the recorder. “Is that alright with you?”

  Janet nodded and Angela turned it on and put it back on the table.

  “This is the first session for subject file number seven-four-nine, Janet Cahill. So, Janet, how are you feeling today?”

  “I’m nervous about talking to you,” she blurted out, unable to keep it in any longer.

  A smile spread across Angela’s face and she nodded in understanding. “That’s completely normal. Have you ever had any counselling or therapy in the past?”

  She nodded. “After my husband died.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were a widow,” Angela said and jotted down a note. “How long ago did he pass?”

  “Five years ago in December,” she said. “Ruthie was just a baby.”

  “That must have been difficult for you, a mother to three young children.”

  She nodded. “It was but I had Malcolm to help me. He was retired so he had plenty of time to help. I also had my neighbours, the Garcias. They were like grandparents to the kids.”

  “The Garcias?” Angela said, flipping through a couple of old pages in her pad. “Jose and Ana, yes?”

  Janet nodded. “They came with us when we left our homes and headed to Fort Lee. They ended up dying before we could make it here.”

  “The others have spoken quite highly of them,” Angela said with a sympathetic smile. “I wish I could have met them.”

  “They were my guardian angels. I don’t think I would have made it through Eric’s death without their help,” she admitted. “I like to think they still are my guardian angels, watching over me and my kids while we were trying to get here.”

  Angela smiled. “So, how are you adjusting to being here? It must be quite a relief for you.”

  She let out a short laugh. “You have no idea. Those weeks on the road, I felt like I was on high alert at all moments, constantly making sure the kids were within reach and not out of eyesight. Now, I’m not saying I was a neglectful parent before but I could send the kids out to play in the backyard by themselves and know they were safe. It’s nice to be able to send them out to play here and know that they’re just as safe as they were in our backyard.”

  “How do the children like the island?”

  “Oh, I’m pretty sure they think this is heaven,” she said. “Our first night here, Matthew told me that he wasn’t even sad that we had to leave all their stuff behind because this place was, and I quote, better than a jillion toys.”

  Angela smiled at that. “That’s good to hear. Have they had any nightmares?”

  “A couple,” she admitted. “They had them after their father died too. Mostly monsters trying to eat them, which I used to be able to tell them weren’t real and it would soothe them. Now I have to tell them that the monsters can’t get them.”

  “Any bed wetting?”

  She shook her head. “And I’ve been keeping an eye out for it. I remember the therapist I spoke to before telling me about it.”

  “Well, that’s a good sign,” Angela said. “Regression is very common for children that go through trauma.”

  That word made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Trauma. She hated it. It sounded so dire, like there was no way to escape it without permanent damage.

  “Do you think they’re okay?” she asked.

  “Well, I haven’t spoken with them extensively but if you give your permission, I would be happy to sit down and talk with them further,” Angela replied, “But, from what I’ve seen, I believe they are holding up remarkably well. All of the children are holding up well. I think it is a testament to what you and the other adults have provided for them. Whatever might be going on around them, they feel safe and protected by all of you. I think that has done them wonders.”

  Janet took a shaky breath, finding her throat tight with emotion. “Are you sure? Because when Mendez and Banks first joined our group, the twins freaked out at the sight of their uniforms. They associate their uniforms with bad people after what happened to us on the highway.”

  Angela nodded her understanding, making another note on her pad before she spoke. “How have they been with Mendez and Banks since then?”

  “Fine. We explained to them that it wasn’t the uniform that meant someone was bad and pointed out that their father and Malcolm had worn them too. They seemed to understand but we never really tested it further since Mendez and Banks ditched their fatigues.”

  “Well, I will make a note to discuss it with them and see what they say,” Angela said, scribbling again before looking up. “Now, I want to bring our talk back to you and the group. I am amazed at how bonded you have all become in such a short time.”

  “I don’t think we
had a choice,” she said. “If we wanted to survive we had to work together. It wasn’t always smooth and there were fights but we worked it out. I think we grew closer because of the fighting.”

  “Who are you closest with in the group?”

  “Well, my brother, obviously. Kim would be another one. We’ve bonded over motherhood. Quinton, as well.”

  Angela smiled. “I couldn’t help but notice your relationship with him. You seem quite close.”

  Her cheeks heated and she couldn’t stop the sly smile from forming on her lips. “You could say that. We’re...involved, I guess, would be the right word. We haven’t really had any sort of talk about what we are or made any kind of announcement. It’s too early for that.”

  “Are you worried that your children would be upset because of their father?”

  “No, I think they would be able to accept that,” Janet said. “I haven’t told them because I’m not sure if this is anything more than a physical relationship. I’m not saying that Quinton isn’t a great guy, because he is, but I’m just not sure I want to take such a big step. If I involve the kids, it’s a real relationship. It means we’re trying to build a family. It’s a huge step and one I’m not sure I’m ready to take.”

  “It makes sense. Your life has been in upheaval. Another big change is bound to be scary.”

  “It is,” she admitted, “And I’m not sure he wants it either. When I first let him know I was interested, he turned me down. He said he wasn’t ready to start something when everything around us was so up in the air. When something finally happened, it was the two of us seizing the day. Since then, we haven’t talked about it, other than saying we don’t want to stop. I know we should talk about it but I’m just enjoying what we have now and I don’t want to ruin it. Is that bad of me?”

  “Of course not,” Angela said. “You are allowed to enjoy the comfort you get from him as long as you are both on the same page.”

  She was surprised to find that hearing it from Angela reassured her. The anxiety that had been twisting her up as she climbed to the loft has eased as they talked. Now it was only a faint memory.