Gravel Road

by Walls, Stephie

  It was time to start reasoning with her. Dusk was fast approaching, and we had quite a hike back to the farmhouse. “It’s gonna get dark soon. We can’t stay out here.”

  I expected the danger to register. Either it didn’t, or she didn’t care. I wasn’t sure which.

  My audible sigh got her attention. “They will come looking for us. We’re ten. It’s not like we can hide forever.” Truthfully, I was shocked they’d given us this much leeway. It wouldn’t be long before the dogs would be searching the fields and the horses would be brought out. If we reached that point, there would be no hope for our futures.

  “I’m scared.” Her voice shook with uncertainty. This wasn’t a girl I’d ever seen before. Randi was fierce, faced everything head-on like a bull.

  She needed reassurance, and I aimed to give it to her. I had been blindsided by this. There wasn’t a piece of me that had seen it coming when I got up this morning. Right there, I made her a promise I’d die trying to keep. “As long as I’m breathing, nothing will ever hurt you again.”

  I waited for a response; instead, she lifted each arm, one at a time, and wiped her tear-streaked, dirty face on each one. Then she wound her fingers through mine. Nothing in me wanted to pull away. If I could have kept her there in that moment, where I knew she was safe and people couldn’t hurt her, I would have.

  Her eyes searched mine, and the corners of her mouth lifted ever so slightly. Then, she lifted onto her tiptoes and leaned in to peck my lips in the softest of kisses. If any other girl in all of Mason Belle had planted their sloppy mouth on mine, I would have gagged right before I spat and wiped their slobber away. That day, as the afternoon drifted into evening, my chest filled again, and heat stirred throughout my body. It was something akin to pride, although not the same.

  “Thank you, Austin.”

  It didn’t matter what we faced when we got back to the Adams’ house. Those three words made it all worthwhile.

  6

  Miranda

  The first two days Eason and I had been in Mason Belle were spent at the hospital, for the most part. I had no idea how exhausting it could be to sit next to a bed all day. The drive back and forth didn’t help, and I wished now that we’d gotten a hotel room. I’d done a fairly good job avoiding Sarah and only coming a few minutes before she had to leave. So much remained unresolved between us. We’d managed to meander around it on the phone; yet somehow, in person, it was like dragging an iron ball on a chain by my ankle. The weight was crippling.

  Eason and I sat on the couch in Daddy’s room. The tick of the clock kept me engrossed, wondering when Sarah would leave. At twelve past the hour, I finally asked, not so eloquently. “Don’t you need to go?”

  She snickered from across the room and shook her head. It was the same thing she used to do when I was younger and she thought I’d said something stupid. “The kids are out of school today, so I left them with Charlie’s mom this morning. I don’t have anywhere to be.”

  Oh. Well, great. “How long are they out of school?”

  “All next week.”

  I didn’t know what that meant for our shifts at the hospital. “Are they going to stay at the Burins’ house all week?”

  “That’s the plan. It works out well. Daddy will need help with his physical therapy.”

  My eyes darted between my sister in her chair and my dad lying in bed. I wasn’t sure what she believed the doctors were going to do to rehabilitate lung damage. Sarah was naïve, but even she wasn’t that daft. “Umm, Sarah. I think maybe you’ve missed something.”

  She had returned her eyes to the magazine in her lap. “Like what?” she asked, continuing to flip the pages.

  I looked at Eason, and he shrugged. “I don’t think there’s anything they can do for his lungs. They’ll have to heal with time, right? Same with the burns.”

  That same chuckle, which indicated how ignorant I was, blew past her lips. “He’s in his sixties, Randi. If he’s in that bed much longer, someone is going to have to get him up and walking. I don’t see you helping him dress, bathe, change bandages, walk…”

  I decided to ignore the cheap shot. Maybe I was an idiot. None of that had entered into any equation I’d calculated. In my ignorant world, Daddy would be released in a couple of days and sent home, and he’d go back to life on the ranch. Lord knew there was enough damage to keep him busy for eons.

  Sarah closed the magazine and then placed her folded hands on top of it. I’d seen the expression on her face more times than I could count. A lecture loomed. Apparently, six years hadn’t proved to her that she wasn’t my mother or that I was an adult. “It’ll give you some time to get reacquainted at home. I can handle the stuff here. The ranch needs attention.”

  “How are you going to help with physical therapy?” I ground my teeth at the reality of how callous I could be.

  “I’ll do fine.” Sarah didn’t make any mention of my inference, and I was grateful.

  Eason cringed at my side; although, he kept his opinion to himself as well.

  Even with my blunder, I didn’t bother to mask my irritation at her suggestion. “So, you want me to hang out at Cross Acres and stare at burnt fields and cramped cows?”

  “No, Randi. I’d like for you to put on something other than four-inch heels and silk and help out.”

  “I’m not slinging slop, Sarah.”

  A smug grin tugged at her lips. “That’s good. Daddy doesn’t have hogs.”

  Eason stifled a laugh next to me, and I elbowed him in the side, reminding him of whose team he should be on. “You’re well aware of what I meant.” It was hard enough to face my sister and my dad. “I didn’t come here to work on a cattle ranch.”

  Her brows lifted, and her eyes flickered with what appeared to be humor. “Oh? What did you come here for?”

  To see my dad in case he died. I couldn’t say that out loud. “For Daddy.” It wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

  Sarah needed me to confess my desperation for resolution. I couldn’t give her that. Every time I saw her, there was another reminder of why I’d left and the damage I’d caused. If we settled things, that would mean I’d made reparations, and we both knew I could never do that. There was no absolution for this guilt.

  “Daddy needs your help at the ranch.”

  As far as I was aware, Daddy had only had a few minutes of lucidity since the fire. He’d spent his time doped up on pain meds to allow his lungs a chance to heal and to give the nurses the ability to deal with the burns on his arms and face. “Oh yeah? Did he tell you that?” It was a crappy retort aimed below the belt—his and hers.

  “As a matter of fact, he did.”

  My jaw dropped, and I gaped at my sister. Maybe she’d been the one heavily doped up on narcotics the last couple of days. “When?”

  “This morning. He was awake for a bit and said he needed someone at the house.”

  I rolled my eyes, knowing how insipid she believed the gesture to be. “That’s a far cry from him saying I needed to work at the ranch.” In my mind, that equated to him not caring for me to be here, not him needing me to bail hay or tag cows. I didn’t have the first clue what to do after a fire. “If he doesn’t want me here, you can tell me that. It’s not like I haven’t heard it from him before.”

  My sister’s eyes went soft, and she cocked her head in sympathy. “Randi…”

  I held up my hand to stop her. “It’s fine, Sarah. If you’d prefer I stay at the house, I will.” I’d hate every moment of it, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t done it for years and didn’t know my way around. I’d be lost in this place, and the awkwardness between Daddy and me when he woke up would be far more painful than the muscles I’d overwork doing manual labor.

  “You took that the wrong way.”

  “There’s only one way to take it, Sarah. It’s fine. If it means more to Daddy for me to be at the ranch, then that’s what I’ll do until I go back to New York.”

  Eason’s arm circled my waist. He was no
stranger to the discomfort this situation brought me, even if he hadn’t been involved firsthand. He took the hint when I leaned into his side. “You ready to go?”

  I nodded and then stood. Without thought, I took his hand and let him lead me to the door.

  Sarah called out when I opened it. “When he’s up and moving, I’ll call you so you can come see him.”

  I didn’t know how long I’d be in Mason Belle, but once my daddy was up and walking, once I was certain he was out of the danger zone, I would be out. I wasn’t a ranch hand. I wasn’t a rancher’s wife. I hadn’t even been a rancher’s daughter in years. This wasn’t my home. My family no longer lived here. I needed to get back to New York—quickly.

  “Of course, Sarah,” I said.

  The door closed behind us with a loud, metal click. I expected to fall apart at her dismissal, yet I surprised myself. A couple of deep breaths and I was determined to do what she’d asked, despite how dismally she believed I’d fail.

  Eason gently squeezed my hand once we were in the elevator. “You okay?”

  My head bobbed. “Yep. I need to run by the mall on the way back to Mason Belle.”

  “There’s a mall around here?”

  I sucked on my teeth and dropped his fingers to swat him on the arm with little force. “Yes. People do have to buy clothes…even in the middle of nowhere.”

  He flinched and held the spot I’d hit. “I figured they made them.”

  “It isn’t Little House on the Prairie, Eason.”

  “Might as well be,” he muttered.

  No sooner had we stepped out the front door than the limo arrived at the curb. “You find a lot of limos and drivers out in the fields?” I rolled my eyes, having forgotten how perfectly that gesture suited so many situations since I’d quit doing it.

  Eason didn’t wait for the driver to arrive at the passenger door. He pulled on the handle and waved me inside. “Enough money, and you can make anything happen.”

  “Good. I need a mall. Make it happen.”

  He gave the driver instructions and made my goal a reality. I still deplored shopping and would much prefer to do it online, but desperate times called for desperate measures. If I were going to help out at the house, I wasn’t going to do it in any of the clothes I’d brought.

  As soon as I saw it, I forgot about the mall and frantically got the driver’s attention to get him to pull into the Walmart parking lot.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  I’d never thought of Eason as a snob, not even when I first met him. Yes, he was high class and had the best of everything, but he never made me feel like less for not having more. “No. Why would I want to spend a lot of money on jeans and T-shirts that I’ll never wear again.”

  He turned back toward the superstore only to face me again. “My treat.”

  “Don’t be silly. It’s only for a couple of days. I can get what I need here and not break the bank on stuff I’ll toss in the trash the moment we get home.”

  He let out a sigh. “At least you aren’t contemplating giving that crap to a charity.”

  “Oh my God, you’re ridiculous.” I pushed the door open and stepped out. I stuck my head inside when he didn’t follow. “Are you coming?”

  “Do I have to?”

  “Yep. That’s what friends do.”

  He said something under his breath that I didn’t hear, and then he scooted across the leather seat and out the door. “No, friends treat their friends to Egyptian cotton and luxury wardrobes, not polyester and welfare.”

  No one in Mason Belle would think any differently about Wranglers and T-shirts. They would, however, mock suits, skirts, and heels. It was funny how different things could be with some miles between them. “Just for that, I’m going to buy you a pair of jeans and a hat.”

  “I’m not wearing a cowboy hat, Miranda.”

  “Keep complaining and see how fast your pretty-boy clothes disappear.” I winked, but he wasn’t certain whether I was playing or not, and if he kept this up, he’d find out I wasn’t.

  I tried to make the experience as painless as possible for both of us. He acted like he might be infected by a brand of cotton he wasn’t familiar with, and I was terrified he’d embarrass me. In less than an hour, I’d picked up two pairs of fitted, dark wash jeans, a pack of cotton panties, two sports bras, three T-shirts, athletic socks, and a pair of work boots.

  “I’m not sure which is more hideous, the jeans or the boots. Thank God you won’t be trying to pick up men with that pitiful excuse for lingerie.” He waved his hand over the garments as they slinked down the belt toward the cashier.

  It was easier to ignore him than deal with responding. The cashier wasn’t impressed by his commentary, either. Typically, women melted at the sight of Eason, but this proved his uppity condemnation of a lifestyle other than his own was a turn-off to people who lived it. I’d never been ashamed of Eason before. I didn’t want to be now, although I struggled to remind myself that this had never been his reality.

  I paid the cashier and thanked her. And I burst out laughing when she said she hoped my day got better. The smile it brought to her face was radiant, and I realized her grim expression had been a reaction to the asshat at my side.

  * * *

  The blare of my alarm at four thirty was as unwelcomed today as it had been during my childhood. As I fumbled to silence the offending noise on my phone, I wondered what I’d been thinking when I agreed to this charade. I hadn’t been fit for the part growing up, and I wasn’t any better suited for it today.

  Moving through the house that once was as familiar to me as the back of my hand, I tried to remain quiet so I didn’t wake Eason. I didn’t flip on the lights until I was safely inside the bathroom. My disheveled appearance was a sight to behold. There wasn’t much point in doing anything with it, either, so I washed away the remnants of makeup from the day before and ran a brush through my mop. It wasn’t much of an improvement, but at least I no longer looked like I had stepped out of Night of the Living Dead. After I brushed my teeth, I moved back to my room. The Walmart bags were on the floor next to my suitcase, and I didn’t bother to look at what I pulled out. I wasn’t here to impress anyone. It took me roughly three minutes to shed my pajamas and put on clean clothes. Sitting on the bed, I slid each boot over fresh socks and then tied the laces. When I stood, I vaguely recognized the girl in the mirror.

  I didn’t dwell on the changes in my appearance. Each one had been a conscious decision upon arriving in New York, and I didn’t regret them…at least not when I was there. Here I felt like an imposter. I was grateful I’d been spared the embarrassment of seeing anyone I knew other than Austin. Most wouldn’t be so dismissive; they would ask questions and cast judgment.

  It was nostalgic in an uncomfortable way to walk into the kitchen this early in the morning. When I was a kid, Daddy would have been up long before me. The aroma of coffee would have lingered in the air from the moment my eyes opened until I walked out the screen door. And Sarah always had a massive spread of food on the counter for the three of us and any of the hands who liked to eat. None of that was present today. Although, the percolator my parents got as a wedding present still sat on the stove, and the fridge had plenty of makings for a hearty breakfast.

  I’d regret not eating more later, but all I could stomach was some toast and several cups of black coffee. Daddy used to say it would put hair on my chest. I had hated the taste when I was younger. The bitter bite didn’t appeal to me, even if the caffeine did. I had learned to drink it, hoping I never saw a single, strange hair appear where it shouldn’t be, and now I couldn’t consume it any other way.

  The other hands would start showing up a little before five. If I wanted to be included in the day’s labor, I needed to be in the barn before they got there. I hoped Austin wasn’t the first to arrive. If one of the other guys showed first, then I wouldn’t be the focus of his attention.

  I rinsed my coffee cup and set it in the sink. My stoma
ch felt like dragons battled inside it, and the war only got more brutal with each step I took toward the barn. I hadn’t made it down the front steps when I saw the truck parked across the driveway. It hadn’t been there last night when I went to bed. I also hadn’t heard it pull up this morning. I was fairly certain it belonged to Austin. Those dragons didn’t just beat their wings and thrash about; now they breathed fire and threatened to take flight up through my esophagus. Swallowing hard, I forced the discomfort down and straightened my spine.

  The crunch of gravel under my boots echoed through the darkness. There was nothing to distract from the noise, and it amplified as I approached the open doors. The lights were on, but I couldn’t hear anyone inside. Unless something had changed in the years I’d been gone, this was where everyone would gather before they dispersed.

  While the barn wasn’t any different, just about everything inside it was. The tack, saddles, none of it was where it used to be. I did recognize most of it. The stalls were unchanged even though many of the horses occupying them were. In front of the first I’d come to, I had a view of four from where I stood, and there wasn’t a familiar animal amongst them.

  The silky, black mare came to me without much coaxing. When I stuck out my hand, she nudged it gently. The laugh that I followed it up with was as unexpected as the smile on my lips. I petted her head and stroked the part of her mane I could reach without opening the door. Since I didn’t know the horse, I wasn’t about to enter, even though she seemed gentle.

  “Hey, darlin’. You lost?” A husky voice came from the driveway, and I jumped at the intrusion.

  I snatched my hand from the horse and faced the man who’d spoken to me. “Um, no.” I wiped my palms on my jeans and moved forward to extend my hand in greeting. “I’m Miranda Adams. Just thought I’d come help out while I’m in town.”