Gravel Road

by Walls, Stephie

  My heart throttled my sternum. I’d never talked back to another adult in my life. There’d only been a handful of times that I’d been brazen enough to do it to my own father, and he was required to love me. The adrenaline didn’t slow until Jack actually moved to let me pass. Even then, my hands shook, and my pulse throbbed in my neck.

  Thankfully, the nurse at the desk was sympathetic. She didn’t even act as though it were an unusual request. She simply stood, peered around me to the corner Randi sat in, and nodded. I waited for her to return a couple of minutes later.

  I took the hospital-green scrubs and thanked her. Randi hadn’t moved since she’d sat down. She hadn’t blinked since I took the chair next to her, either.

  “Sweetheart?” I spoke to her in the tone that usually made her purr. “Why don’t you put these on?” When she didn’t move, I got concerned that she’d gone into shock. “Randi?”

  Her dark eyelashes fluttered, and she faced me. “Okay.”

  There wasn’t much point in her finding a bathroom, since she wasn’t changing. I squatted in front of her to help with the pants and then slid the top over her head. I didn’t know what to do to reach her. It terrified me to think I’d lost her. If Sarah didn’t pull through, I wasn’t sure Randi would ever come back.

  “Adams?” A man with a surgical mask dangling from his neck called out into the waiting room. The grim expression he wore didn’t bode well for Sarah’s condition.

  Randi and I jumped at the sound of her last name called, as did Jack. The three of us swarmed the doctor and waited with bated breath for answers. Of which, he didn’t provide many.

  Jack pummeled the surgeon with questions without allowing him to actually answer any. “How is she? Is she stable? Can we see her?”

  “She’s in recovery right now. If she makes it out, she will be moved to ICU. We believe we have the internal bleeding stopped, but there’s a lot of damage.” He talked about broken bones I’d never heard of, much less their location in the body, spinal cord damage, paralysis if she lived. It went on and on with dismal chances for recovery. He ended by telling us that the next twenty-four hours were critical.

  Randi didn’t make a peep. When the doctor exited, Jack turned to the two of us, and he snarled at Randi. My flexing bicep caught his attention, and I imagined her dad thought better of whatever he’d planned to say. He dragged his hands down his face as if he might be able to wipe the day away.

  “You two should go home. There’s no point in you being here.” It wasn’t a suggestion so much as a command.

  Randi flinched. “What if she wakes up?”

  “Then I’ll be here.” Her dad left no room for arguments, nor did he offer to call Randi to update her. He didn’t throw her any bone at all. “Go.”

  She nodded her acceptance.

  I refused to give up that easily. Sarah was Randi’s sister. The accident was unfortunate; nevertheless, it was just that—an accident. Randi hadn’t driven the semi into Sarah’s car. She also hadn’t told Sarah to chase her down the street. Randi might have disobeyed, but in all fairness, her dad should have doled out the punishment, not his twenty-four-year-old daughter. Had he done his job as a parent, things might be entirely different, because Randi wouldn’t have crossed her daddy. “With all due respect, sir—”

  “I’d say we’re pretty well beyond that, Austin. Go home.”

  * * *

  The days that followed Sarah’s accident were awful. She’d defied the odds and made it past each milestone the doctors said she would never reach, although it happened at an unbelievably slow pace. She’d been kept in a medically induced coma while her organs and bones heal. Even that hadn’t been without complications. Sarah had spontaneous internal bleeding that required additional surgery; her appendix burst, which the physicians swore had nothing to do with the accident—I didn’t believe it. And the list went on so long, I’d lost track.

  Jack had spent every waking moment at the hospital with Sarah, leaving Randi home by herself. I’d been apprehensive about staying there without his permission, and then I realized he’d left her to the wolves. It wasn’t in Randi’s best interest to be isolated. She’d been despondent at best, and each day that passed, it only got worse.

  Her dad had done everything he could to keep Randi from Sarah, even against the advice of her physicians.

  “She’s going to wake up, Randi. And she’ll want to see you.” I tried to reason with her. “You’ll have the chance to tell her that you love her.”

  She peered up at me through thick lashes. “I just need to apologize, Austin.”

  I was desperate to take her into my arms and promise her she’d get that chance. I’d seen more tears from my girlfriend in the last couple of weeks than I had in all the years we’d been friends. Each one wrecked me in a different way, mainly because I couldn’t do anything to ease her heartache. There was nothing I could do to make any of this easier.

  We’d snuck into the hospital a few times when Jack wasn’t there, although those moments had been few and far between. And when we’d end up running into her dad, Randi would leave without a word, only to spend two more hours sitting on a bench outside the hospital. She wouldn’t talk. Randi just stared out into the parking lot, like she waited for someone to show up and tell her it had all been a joke.

  That person never came, and neither did her reprieve. If Sarah didn’t wake up soon, there would be permanent damage in Randi that no amount of counseling could cure.

  “Come on, let me take you home.” I nudged her with my shoulder. When she didn’t move, I wrapped my arm around her lower back and kissed the side of her head. “Please, sweetheart.”

  It never failed. That one word always brought Randi back to me.

  She leaned into my side and wrapped her arms around my waist. The warmth of her breath on my chest was a sign of life I was desperate to feel. Then, for the first time since the accident, she tilted her head and placed her lips behind my jaw and under my ear. It was her spot, the one no one else would ever touch. Typically, it drove me wild; today, it just felt good.

  “Will you stay with me?”

  I rolled my eyes, mocking her. “Like you even have to ask.”

  She laced her fingers with mine, and together, we walked to my truck. The spark of hope her kiss had lit died in the cab as we drove back to Cross Acres in silence. It was a long ride, although one I’d grown accustomed to making, sometimes more than once in a day.

  It was after dusk when I pulled onto the gravel drive that led to her house. I rolled the window down to listen to the crunch of the rocks under my tires. Everything about that gritty noise reminded me of the girl who sat next to me, or the her she was before all this had started. She was still in there; I just had to help her find her way out.

  I parked in the circle and set the emergency brake. “I need to call my parents when we get inside, so they don’t worry.” At this point, I didn’t think they cared. They knew exactly where I was and where I’d been every day since Sarah’s accident.

  My dad believed I was helping Jack on the ranch, and I did to some degree. Randi wasn’t up to doing much, so I pitched in to get her chores done. Other than that, Jack had a crew in place that worked like a well-oiled machine with a foreman who kept the gears greased in Jack’s absence. My mom was aware of the truth. She’d also promised not to breathe a word of it to my dad. Neither had said much about what had happened, but they were the ones who kept me in the loop about Sarah’s prognosis. I, in turn, relayed it to Randi. Without those updates, Randi and I would be in the dark.

  Her dad hadn’t said more than a handful of words to her since I’d stepped between them in the emergency room. She could blame me later. I’d do it again if I had to choose. I didn’t understand how Jack could call my dad and talk to him in great detail about Sarah’s recovery and purposely outcast Randi. It was cruel.

  Together, we climbed the stairs in front of the house, and she opened the door. I went right to the kitchen to call
my mom, while Randi went upstairs. I listened for her steps to cross the house followed by the sound of her bedroom door closing. Then I dialed my parents’ number.

  “Hello?” My mom’s voice gave me so much comfort that there were days, especially in recent weeks, that I wished I could turn back time and crawl into her lap.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  “Austin, sweetie, how’s Randi?” Her upbeat tone surprised me. “Does she know?”

  I prayed whatever my mom was about to tell me would bring a smile to my girlfriend’s face. “Know what?”

  “Sarah’s awake.”

  I shook my head, not that my mom could see it. “What? We just left there.” While that was true, we hadn’t just left Sarah’s room. We’d left the bench outside. In all actuality, it had been hours since we’d been in the hospital itself.

  “Your dad just got off the phone with Jack right before you called. I thought for sure Jack would call Randi.” She trailed off in disbelief that Jack’s first call hadn’t been to his other daughter.

  “I’m not surprised, Mom. How’s she doing? Sarah, I mean.”

  “Confused. In a lot of pain. Jack said she wasn’t awake long. You know how these things go.” Actually, I didn’t. “Hurry up and wait. There’ll be a lot of that.”

  As much as I wanted to listen to my mom talk, I needed to pass the news on to Randi. “Will you call if you hear anything else? I’m going to stay here tonight.”

  “Of course. Tell Randi we love her. God answered one prayer today. He’ll answer more.”

  God was as big a part of the lives in this town as the cattle and farms. “I’ll tell her. Love you.”

  “Love you, too. Goodnight.”

  I hung up and took the stairs two at a time until I reached the top. With a couple of long strides, I reached Randi’s door and swung it open. She had let down her hair and changed into cotton shorts and a matching tank top. When I burst into the room, she met my stare, and I couldn’t bother to find a way to ease into my mom’s news. “Sarah’s awake.”

  Randi’s eyes sparkled with the light I thought had gone out permanently, a perfect glimmer of hope mixed with happiness. She stood at the same time I moved toward her. I caught her against my chest when she threw herself into my arms.

  Her hands cradled my jaw, and she dragged my face down. Our mouths greeted each other with passion and love. She hadn’t admitted it, but she’d denied herself any type of comfort or pleasure. It had been a self-induced punishment, and she’d just let herself off restrictions.

  One swipe of her tongue and my lips parted to welcome her. The warmth of her hands roamed down my neck, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. Her featherlight touch traced a path down my chest, igniting every nerve ending she crossed, and onto the hem of my shirt. She wasted no time lifting it over my head, even at the expense of breaking our kiss. Her desperation, the need for intimacy, a connection—it was all wild. Frantic yet controlled. The bite of her nails into my skin, the nip of her teeth, her frenzied attempt to have all of me at once commanded her. And I let her take what she needed. I’d give her all of me, freely.

  We stood next to her bed, naked. Everything had happened at a fervent pace, and I expected it to continue that way until I took her over the edge, gave her the release she desired. I needed to be inside of her with as much urgency as she needed to make us one. I’d missed her touch and craved the caress of her skin.

  Randi stopped. Our chests heaved in tandem when she took my hands in hers and peered up. Her features appeared softer than normal, and she radiated love. “Thank you.”

  It was an odd thing to say at this point, considering we hadn’t done anything tonight other than some heavy petting, certainly nothing to be grateful for.

  She lifted our twined hands and kissed my knuckles. “I’ve always known you were my knight in shining armor, but I never expected you to have to prove that you’re my fairy tale.”

  Randi wasn’t one for sentimental displays or mushy exchanges. She made no bones about loving me; however, she wasn’t that girl who needed, or even wanted, flowers and poetry. We merely lived the way we loved, passionately.

  “And one day, I’ll make you my wife.” It wasn’t a secret. I’d marry her tomorrow if I thought she’d let me claim her with a ring.

  Her lips tilted into the most gorgeous smile I’d ever seen. “Make love to me.” Those four words weren’t quite a request, nor were they a demand. They just were.

  Like the two of us.

  And two became one.

  An unspoken covenant was signed under the sheets. Our bodies committed to each other again in a way they’d never spoken to anyone else. And never would.

  I didn’t know when or where, but that night, with Miranda wrapped in my arms peacefully sleeping, I made a vow to God to give her my last name.

  11

  Austin

  Miranda had slinked out during Rand’s meltdown in the kitchen. I stuck around to calm the little guy. Once he’d quit crying, he made me promise to find his aunt to apologize. Sarah didn’t find humor in her son’s outburst, but I fully believed she was perfectly content to let him send me on a wild goose chase to locate Miranda.

  After an hour of searching around the house and the barn, noting none of the horses were missing and none of the guys had seen her, I got concerned. Sarah hadn’t heard from her, and I couldn’t find her.

  “Did she rent a car?” I asked Sarah as I threw open the screen door. It creaked and then banged closed behind me. After a decade, I’d think someone would have oiled that damn thing.

  She stopped whatever she’d been doing to question me. “Miranda?”

  I let out a sharp exhale through my nose and counted to five so I didn’t come unglued on my brother’s wife. “Who else, Sarah? Yes, Randi. I can’t find her.”

  Sarah wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and leaned on the counter. She was overdoing it. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes, and her leg shook from being on it too long. “Yes. She got it when she was at the airport, but it’s parked next to the barn.”

  “Well, she isn’t here.”

  “She has to be.”

  “She’s not.” We were going in circles. “Any idea where she might have gone?”

  Sarah shook her head. “She hasn’t left the ranch except to go to the hospital. Oh, and to ride with Eason to the airport.”

  Right. Eason. He’d left his girlfriend in Texas, and somehow, I’d become responsible for finding her because of a promise I’d made to a three-year-old. “Call him. Let him search for her.”

  Her brow furrowed, and genuine concern lined every wrinkle her sister had put on her face over the years. “Wait right there.” She pulled her cell out of her pocket and touched the screen.

  I wasn’t interested in listening to her conversation with Miranda’s bed buddy, so I busied myself with pouring a glass of tea and making as much noise as possible, rattling ice cubes.

  “He hasn’t talked to her since he left.” That was quick.

  I swallowed several large gulps while I considered what she’d said. “At all?”

  She shook her head.

  What an ass. The guy left his girlfriend in another state, hadn’t heard from her in a week, and he hadn’t bothered to check on her. “He didn’t think that was at all odd?”

  Sarah shrugged. “Well, he does now. I guess things are different up north.” She pressed the phone to her chest, and her eyes roamed the room aimlessly. “She had to have set off on foot.”

  Only Miranda Adams would take off with no destination in mind or mode of transportation to reach it. “Where exactly would you suggest I look, Sarah?”

  “You tell me. Where did she run off to when you guys were younger? You should have more ideas than I do.” Sarah seemed to have a misguided opinion of what Randi and I did as teenagers.

  “She never ran off. That didn’t start until Jack pushed her out the door.” It was a low blow, and one I shouldn’t have taken, but I was agitated and not
sure how any of this was my problem.

  “Don’t get sassy.” She wagged her finger. “You have to know where she’d go. It’s not a big town.”

  That was just it. It wasn’t a big town. There weren’t many options. In high school, we’d always hung out with friends, went to field parties, spent days at the lake. There was no searching for Miranda because we were always together. “Not a clue. The lake. The diner, maybe?”

  She shooed me out of the door with her hands. “What are you waiting for?”

  If I didn’t dread listening to my brother’s mouth about his wife being upset, I’d get in my truck and go home. But the moment Sarah walked in their door and told him that I hadn’t helped, he’d either call or come by, which would ruin my night, anyhow.

  It didn’t do me any good to be irritated; there was no one to take it out on. I stomped out to the truck simply to make myself feel better. It dawned on me as I put the keys in the ignition that this must have been what Sarah felt like when we were teens. I cranked the engine, rolled down my window, and backed out.

  I didn’t think Miranda would go to the lake. It wasn’t hard to get there if you were familiar with where you were going; however, our spot was several miles from the Adams’ ranch. I hadn’t seen her in a single pair of shoes that she could make that hike in. She was smart enough not to thumb a ride to somewhere that desolate…or at least I hoped she was. Nevertheless, I went, anyhow. She’d always loved that place; we both had. I hadn’t been back since Sarah had her accident, though. Until that day, the lake had held everything good.

  I could flip through memories of every trip Randi and I had made there. Every detail was crystal clear from the way her hair blew around her face with the windows down in the truck, to the swimsuits she wore, to her laugh as she’d jump into the water to splash me. Years of trips all as vivid as if they’d happened yesterday, including the crash.