Much Ado About Many Things

by Sophie Lynbrook

  “I am not so certain of that. Mr. Collins is a pigheaded man.”

  “He is impossible. I told him that he must give me leave to know my own mind, but he said that a young lady never properly knows her own mind.”

  “How insulting!”

  “That is exactly what I thought. But he held firm in his opinion that a lady naturally turns to her parents for advice in all matters of importance, or to her husband once she has one. Could you imagine turning to Mr. Collins for advice?”

  “No, indeed. I would rather act blindly than take counsel from him.”

  “I quite agree. That alone was reason enough to refuse him. But then he said that he had no doubt of his proposal being acceptable once sanctioned by my parents.”

  “Well, that will not happen. One of them probably would sanction it if she did not have different ideas, but we know that the other will not. I am affronted that Mr. Collins will not take his answer from you, but at least he will have to accept his dismissal from Papa.”

  “Yes. I am glad that you told me what he said about choosing according to your own liking. It was easier to speak knowing that he would back me up.”

  “I am glad that we have a father who cares what we want. But I should have been more perceptive. I thought that perhaps he did not like me talking to Mr. Wickham, but it never occurred to me that he was thinking of you instead. I should have guessed from his attentions to you, but I did not see them in that way.”

  “Nor I. I thought he was practising being brotherly. I still had that idea when he asked me for the favour of a private conversation after we left Caroline to rest. Or Miss Bingley, I would rather say now that she is no friend of mine.”

  “So that is where you went. I thought that you were still with her, and that he had gone to bother Mr. Darcy.”

  “No, he was busy bothering me. He started by talking about marriage in such a roundabout way that I thought his purpose was to inform me of his intentions toward you. I was quite taken aback by the realization that he was actually proposing to me.”

  “That must have been an awful shock.”

  “It was indeed. There I was wondering how to reply without giving him false expectations or saying more than I should when he suddenly announced that I had been selected for the honour of becoming the mistress of his home, the companion of his domestic bliss, and the recipient of Lady Catherine’s generous attentions.”

  “Dubious honours indeed.”

  “Then he threatened violent affection, but fortunately that came to nothing.”

  “Thank goodness for that.”

  “Mostly he talked of Lady Catherine.”

  “That is a strange way to make a proposal, but from Mr. Collins, it is not surprising. Everything revolves around his noble patroness. I am so sorry that you were the one who had to suffer his advances instead of me. I should not have tried to make him dislike me.”

  “I am sorry for anybody who might have to suffer his advances, but it was not your fault. I blame Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst entirely. It appears that they changed his mind for him. I am sure he would have stuck to his original plan of proposing to you if they had not interfered.”

  “The plot thickens. Do tell all.”

  But before Jane could reveal anything more, Mr. Bingley returned. “It is dreadfully wet outside,” he said. “I am glad that I sent a carriage for Mr. Jones.”

  “That was kind of you,” Jane said. “He would have had a very wet walk.”

  She seemed calmer now and was able to speak collectedly with Mr. Bingley for a few minutes until the apothecary arrived. He expressed his thanks for the carriage and was then taken to see his patient.

  As soon as the two gentlemen had left the room, Jane resumed her tale. “This part of the story really begins a few days ago when Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst happened to tell me that Mr. Bingley is engaged.”

  Elizabeth noted the sarcastic pronunciation of the word happened. “Is he engaged?”

  “I do not know. I do not think so though. They made too much of it being a great secret because of a death in the lady’s family, and the engagement not being properly announced yet. I accepted that at the time, but now I think that I was allowing myself to be duped. Even if she were in mourning, it would not be necessary to make such a fuss about secrecy. There is no reason for people not to know about such an engagement in a quiet way.”

  “I agree. One must assume that the mysterious lady does not really exist. But if they made her up, it could only have been to discourage you from thinking of Mr. Bingley.”

  “I believe you are right. I was discouraged, and very disappointed. In truth, I have been hoping that he cares for me, and this idea of him being attached to somebody else caused me a great deal of unhappiness. I so much wanted the comfort of being able to share everything with you, but like a fool, I chose to be a loyal friend and keep their secret.”

  “I should have realized that you were unhappy.”

  “I was determined to hide it. I did not want them to guess my feelings, or anybody to feel sorry for me when the engagement was announced.”

  “You conducted yourself with great dignity. I am proud of you for not giving them the satisfaction of seeing your disappointment. They are despicable. I am glad that you are no longer deceived by them. But how does Mr. Collins fit into this story?”

  “I now believe that the reason for their deception was to put me into a frame of mind to accept him, and then they put him up to proposing.”

  “How did you arrive at this conclusion?”

  “Mr. Collins is not very good at keeping secrets.”

  “No, Elizabeth agreed. “Nobody in their right mind would trust Mr. Collins with a secret.”

  “Exactly. Yet Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst apparently did. He began his excessively lengthy proposal by explaining his reasons for deciding that you were not suitable to be the mistress of Hunsford Parsonage.”

  “He does seem to be quite inept at making proposals, but then he is the sort of man who opens his mouth and lets things come out without giving any thought to how they might be received.”

  “He is indeed. While disparaging my sister, and inadvertently showing me that I was not his first choice, he also managed to reveal that they had influenced his change of mind by advising him against choosing you.”

  “How very kind of them. But I suppose that you were ideal for the role.”

  “Very much so. It seems that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst thought me perfectly suited for all those honours which Mr. Collins had to offer. After I refused, he was insistent that I should accept him because it was what my friends wanted.”

  “But you held firm in your resistance?”

  “I did. You would have been proud of me, Lizzy. But he insisted that I was refusing him out of the false hope of receiving a more advantageous proposal. It was mortifying. He promised that after we were married, he would not reproach me for having briefly been mistaken in my affections or for having held expectations that were above my station in life. And then he said that he would be my consolation for a disappointment.”

  “What a dreadful idea.”

  “Indeed. I told him that he need not trouble himself to make any promises since we were absolutely not going to be married.”

  “I am guessing that he was not convinced of it.”

  “No he was not. That was when he revealed that they had also told him this story of Mr. Bingley being secretly engaged. Apparently, they wanted him to know that their brother would not be making me an offer. Now why do you suppose they would do that?”

  “I can guess all too well. Mama told him that you were about to be engaged to Mr. Bingley, which is why he singled me out instead of my elder and prettier sister. But then he blurted that out to Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst, and they in turn told him that it was impossible.”

  “My thoughts exactly.”

  “Then they manipulated Mr. Collins into offering for you instead, which can only mean one thing. They were anticipati
ng their brother’s proposal to you, but the match does not meet with their approval. And the best way to foil a marriage was to see you safely engaged to somebody else.”

  “In a nutshell. As if I would accept just anybody for the sake of being married. I find that attitude particularly offensive.”

  “I find the entire scheme offensive. And the two witches. They are indeed filthy hags! Bearded creatures of deceit, with choppy fingers and skinny lips.”

  “Withered and wild in their attire.” Jane laughed. “Telling you everything has made me feel a great deal better, Lizzy. I am very sorry that they were not my real friends after all, but I am glad to know the truth of it.”

  “When Mr. Bingley does marry you, which I am certain he will if his sisters were so very afraid of it, then you will have to think of ways to avoid them.”

  “You must not be overly confident. Perhaps they were quite mistaken. Or perhaps he will be swayed by their dislike of me. I wonder how I managed to be so deceived. You had a much better understanding of their true nature, but I disregarded your excellent advice on the subject. I should have listened to you.”

  “Ultimately you had to make up your own mind. You are too fair to have mistrusted them without good cause, whereas I am capable of mistrusting anybody upon only a hint. Even now, I wonder if Mr. Darcy had anything to do with this scheme. After all, there are three witches.”

  “I am certain that he did not. Mr. Collins said nothing to even hint at it, and you know that he could not have kept quiet about having received the opinion of an illustrious gentleman who happens to also be the nephew of Lady Catherine.”

  “No, that much is certain, but Mr. Darcy could still have been in on the plot at its beginning. I hate to say it now that he appears so much improved in his manner, but he is also likely to disapprove of a match between you and Mr. Bingley. Or for that matter, any proposal from a fashionable gentleman to a member of our family.”

  “I still cannot believe it. You must not be so quick to mistrust him, Lizzy.”

  “On this subject, I should be taking your advice, should I?”

  “Yes, you should. I do not suppose that you will, but I believe that I am right, and that Mr. Darcy is a very good man.”

  “Perhaps he is. There is evidence which points in that direction, yet I cannot quite reconcile it with his pride. I am somewhat inclined to agree with you, however. There is more to him than first meets the eye, and lately I have been thinking that the best of him is too well hidden from the world.”

  CHAPTER 31

  …in thy face I see the map of honour, truth, and loyalty…

  henry vi, part ii, ACT Iii, SCENE I

  The apothecary gave his opinion that Miss Bingley’s illness was a cold and fever just like Jane’s had been. There was no reason to be overly concerned, but he advised that she must rest quietly in bed for several days.

  After arranging for his sister to be taken upstairs, Mr. Bingley rejoined the ladies in the morning room. While he and Jane were talking, Elizabeth went to the library to select a different book.

  It occurred to him that this was just the moment he had been wanting, but unfortunately a gentleman could not propose while his sister was lying ill, even though she was not considered to be in any danger. He had to content himself with having Jane’s company all to himself, and with the pleasure of enjoying her smiles, which suggested that success awaited him eventually.

  In the library, Elizabeth came across Mr. Darcy, who was now on his own. They exchanged a few words while she was choosing a book, and then she was about to leave when a sudden impulse struck her. Here was an opportunity to make amends for causing him any discomfort. The terms on which she and Mr. Darcy now stood made more openness possible between them, and she very much wanted to be fair to him.

  “I hope you were not greatly upset by my speaking with Mr. Wickham yesterday,” she ventured to say. “He wanted to tell me about dining with my relatives, and it would have been rude not to listen, but I did feel uncomfortable acknowledging him after your disclosure yesterday. I do not want you to think that I disregard your comfort.”

  “You need not worry,” he replied in a warm manner which gave her much relief. “As I said, I do not expect anybody to treat him badly. But I very much appreciate that you thought of my comfort.”

  “I felt that it was deserved. To speak bluntly, I am aware that Mr. Wickham does not like you, but I have had a strong feeling that he is the one not to be trusted. There is something in his manner that makes me wary of him.”

  “Your instincts serve you well. Since I am very much inclined to trust you, I would like to tell you more than I was willing to reveal yesterday. What I am about to say is a closely guarded secret. A few months ago, Mr. Wickham attempted to elope with my sister, an impressionable girl of only fifteen.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes had widened in shock as he spoke. “How dreadful,” she said.

  “It was indeed. His real object was not her heart, but her fortune of thirty thousand pounds. To obtain it he took advantage of the affection for him which she had held since infancy. It was an unforgiveable breach of trust.”

  “It was despicable of him,” she agreed. “I am glad that I made a point of avoiding any conversation with him this morning. I shall certainly try to minimize any time spent in his company in future, as long as it can be done without drawing attention. But if I should find myself compelled to speak with him again, I want you to know that it will only be out of civility. He is no friend of mine, and what you have just told me ensures that he never will be.”

  He expressed his gratitude again, and then she left him. The subject of the living had not come up in that brief conversation, but she trusted that all the fault in that case had also been on Mr. Wickham’s side. Mr. Darcy was a good man. She was certain of it.

  He was proud. One could not deny that, but when balanced with the rest of his character, that flaw did not tip the scales. He might not think Jane a good match for Mr. Bingley either, but he would not scheme. She believed him innocent of any complicity in Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst’s plan. He was honest, and that was a great deal.

  He was not guilty of Mr. Wickham’s other accusation either. Presumably the couple to whom he had referred was himself and Miss Darcy. Not a pair deeply in love, but an innocent young girl and a man who had been made bitter by the failure of his scheme.

  He had made Elizabeth waver on the previous day, but she would not do so again. Mr. Darcy was the one who had been sinned against. His dislike was fully justified. He was a man of integrity. Perhaps even a man whom one could be proud to call a friend.

  CHAPTER 32

  They never meet but there’s a skirmish of wit between them.

  MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING, ACT I, SCENE I

  “I think we should still do some rehearsing tomorrow,” Mr. Bingley said when the gentlemen were sitting together after dinner that evening. “If the other actors are going to try to make some progress during this delay, then we should as well.

  “We should,” Colonel Fitzwilliam agreed. “Especially since we have some of the largest parts.”

  “I think we can accomplish a fair bit,’ Mr. Darcy said. “There are quite a few scenes, or portions of them, which can be rehearsed without needing anybody else.”

  Mr. Hurst looked down at his drink and said nothing.

  “We should include the ladies as much as possible,” Mr. Bingley said.

  “Miss Bennet and I could practice our part in the masque scene,” Colonel Fitzwilliam suggested. “And I believe that Darcy and Miss Elizabeth also have a few lines together.”

  “We do,” Mr. Darcy said. “It is just a short part, but definitely worth practising.”

  They soon went to join the ladies, of whom there were only two. Mrs. Hurst had come downstairs for dinner, but afterwards a maid had relayed a summons from her sister, and she had hurried back upstairs. She did not return to join them, and as Mr. Hurst disappeared somewhere between the dining room and the dra
wing room, it was just the five of them, which was a very comfortable group.

  Elizabeth felt that this evening was the most pleasant of all the ones she had spent at Netherfield. It was like being among old and dear friends. And the best of them was Mr. Darcy. His company was delightful, and his conversation amusing.

  Mr. Darcy was thinking the same of her company and feeling very satisfied with the cosiness of their group. It would be very pleasant to spend many evenings in such perfect circumstances.

  Some of their conversation was about the play, which eventually led to a discussion of the plan to make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love with each other.

  “I think the use of a benevolent scheme is particularly interesting,” Mr. Darcy said. “One tends to think of all plotting as evil, but here we have a case of scheming for a good purpose.”

  “I cannot think of their plan as entirely good,” Elizabeth said. “Their intent is not evil, but it is not exactly benevolent either. Only consider that Don Pedro suggests it as a way of passing the time, and none of them has any qualms about toying with their friends. What do you suppose might have happened if one of them had fallen for the scheme, and the other had not? Although not exactly evil, it would be cruel to make one person unhappy by some ill-conceived interference.”

  “That is a fair point in general; however, as this case is presented, the interference is a necessary service. Even if their purpose is not completely pure, our schemers have the best intentions. Beatrice and Benedick are obviously attracted to each other, but hopeless at knowing what to do with their feelings.”

  Rather like Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam thought. Even now, when everything seems to be going so well, I wonder what he is feeling. He is exceptionally difficult to read. Unlike Mr. Bingley, who is so obviously in love that there is certain to be an engagement announced any day now.

  “But they do not enact their scheme with the best intentions,” Elizabeth said to Mr. Darcy. “Leonato is certain that if Beatrice and Benedick were married, they would drive each other mad. And Don Pedro speaks of deceiving them as a sport.”