They both looked at him eagerly.
“It is not what you are thinking. I have no announcement to make. Only a request for both of you to cease your efforts at throwing Miss Elizabeth and me together.”
Mr. Bingley blushed. “Were we that obvious?”
“Yes, you were.”
“We only wanted what was best for you, Darcy. We both agree that the two of you are perfect for each other.”
“Well, you shall have to leave that for us to decide. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but you must leave me to settle my happiness in my own way. And now we can celebrate yours.”
Drinks were poured, and toasts were made, and Mr. Darcy feigned being in an excellent mood.
I must act the part of a joyful friend and not spoil Bingley’s day, he told himself. But oh, how bitter it is to see him delighting in the same happiness which could have been mine.
She did love me. If I had not been so stupid and offensive, she would have accepted me. No, not just stupid. If I had not been so proud in the first place. That is the issue. But for my pride, my stupid pride, we would at this moment be celebrating two engagements.
CHAPTER 38
I wish you all the joy that you can wish.
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE, ACT III, SCENE II
“Are you unwell, Lizzy?” Jane asked.
“It is just a little headache,” Elizabeth said, making a great effort to sound unconcerned. “I thought that if I were to lie down for an hour or two, then it would very likely be prevented from becoming anything worse.”
“I hope so, but your cheeks look rather flushed. I fear that you may be ill.”
“I think that is just a little extra colour from all our activity this morning. I do not feel feverish.”
Jane still put a hand to her sister’s forehead, but in a moment she conceded, “No, you do not.”
“I did not collapse either,” Elizabeth said with a small smile. “I really do not feel ill. I probably spent too much time looking at my lines. Well, not really my lines. I suppose that Miss Bingley will soon be recovered and very eager to resume rehearsing her part.”
“Yes, I expect she will. But you do it much better. I have no doubt that Mr. Darcy far preferred acting with you.”
“He may have done, but that is irrelevant. The part belongs to Miss Bingley.”
“Well, I suppose she must have some consolation for the disappointment she is soon to receive,” Jane said, and the wideness of her smile left no doubt as to the cause of this anticipated disappointment.
“Mr. Bingley has proposed to you?” Elizabeth asked, feeling great joy at the same time as she was struggling to hide her own sorrows.
“He has. Oh, Lizzy! I am so happy. I can hardly believe that it is true, but we are engaged to be married.”
“This is wonderful news. I am excessively happy for you. Mr. Bingley is an excellent man, with a kind disposition and a heart of gold. He will be devoted to you.” And not deplore your connections, Elizabeth thought, but did not say.
“I wish that you could be just as happy. Perhaps there is another such man for you.”
“Perhaps, but at the moment, it is enough for me to feel the joy of your happiness.”
“Mama is going to be so pleased when I tell her. Were it not for this wet weather, I would do so at once, but the news will have to wait until the rain stops.”
“She may be anticipating it anyway.”
“I suppose so. But Lizzy, something occurs to me now. I did not think of it before because I was so furious with Mr. Bingley’s sisters. I mean Charles’s sisters.” She smiled. “It is wonderful to use his name. But as I was saying, I had forgotten about Mr. Collins’s plan to seek my parents’ support for his proposal. He must have told Mama by now, and she will be dreadfully confused.”
“Knowing Mr. Collins and his fondness for telling people everything, she may not be so very confused.”
“But then she will be feeling dreadfully disappointed. You know that she will not think Mr. Collins any great substitute for Charles.”
“Nobody could, but you must not worry about Mama. She is used to disappointment. And just think how happy she is going to be when she learns that Mr. Collins was going on about nothing.”
“I suppose so, but I will not feel easy until she can be told that it was nothing. I hope this rain will not go on for much longer.”
You and I both, Elizabeth thought. But I do not suppose that its cessation will afford me any relief. It will be impossible for me to run away from my situation without causing Jane anxiety one way or another. I must stay and go to any lengths to put on a cheerful face and celebrate her good fortune. Although it would have been a great comfort to tell her everything, I will not spoil her happiness by informing her of my unhappiness. Someday I may seek her comfort, but not today.
She managed to be cheerful enough that when Jane left her to rest, there was no anxiety expressed.
“I shall be down for dinner,” Elizabeth promised. “I expect to be very well recovered by then.”
Or at least to make the appearance of it, she told herself.
That required a firm resolution of not giving way to any more tears. She could not appear with swollen eyes and blotchy complexion. But tears were held at bay by focusing upon the good. Jane was happy, which was well deserved, and Mr. Bingley would be a very welcome addition to their family.
It would be a great delight to have nieces and nephews to spoil one day. That wonderful idea helped to keep Elizabeth from dwelling too much upon the thought that the joy could have been doubled if only things had been a little different.
She went down to dinner with some trepidation, thinking that Mr. Darcy must be feeling a great deal of animosity toward her, but he was extremely civil. It appeared that like herself he was trying to behave as though nothing had happened. He spoke enough to allay any suspicions, but the brilliance was gone from his conversation.
Is his disappointment with me alone or with Mr. Bingley as well? she wondered. Even though he would have done the same himself, I doubt that he approves of his friend’s choice.
After dinner, the engaged couple devoted themselves almost entirely to each other, leaving the remaining three to converse amongst themselves. Elizabeth felt the discomfort of this, as she imagined Mr. Darcy also did, but before long he excused himself to write a letter.
This was undoubtedly an excuse to avoid her company, but she was glad of not having to keep up so much pretence. Colonel Fitzwilliam looked rather surprised, but Mr. Darcy apologetically said that it was a matter which could not wait.
The colonel and Elizabeth resumed their conversation, and she managed to get through the rest of the evening with less discomfort. Mr. Darcy had placed himself out of her view, which she also guessed to be deliberate. It was almost as though he was not there, yet even without seeing or hearing him, she continued to be very much aware of his presence.
CHAPTER 39
We have seen better days.
TIMON OF ATHENS, ACT IV, SCENE II
“You are not going to believe what has happened now!” Mrs. Hurst cried as she returned from another expedition downstairs.
Miss Bingley, who was beginning to recover a little strength, sat bolt upright. “What is it, Louisa? Do not tell me that Miss Eliza has found some way of entrapping Mr. Darcy?”
“No, not Eliza. It is Jane who has done the trapping. Charles is now engaged to her.”
“Oh, how dreadful! The very thing that we most wanted to avoid. I do not know how we shall hold our heads up in society with her as our sister.”
“Just imagine having to introduce her mother to any of our friends.”
“I hope that Charles would have better sense than to expect it.”
“He clearly has no sense at all.”
“I am very disappointed in Mr. Collins. I really thought that he would have proposed by now. He seemed excessively eager.”
“He did indeed. But we should have guessed that he could not
be relied upon.”
“You should have done something to prevent this. It was up to you to protect Charles while I was ill.”
“I have been here almost the entire time, Caroline. I could not look after you and keep an eye upon Charles.”
“You should have asked Mr. Darcy to do so. Indeed, I am surprised that he did not think of it himself.”
“He was probably too busy rehearsing with Miss Eliza.”
“I expect that she was deliberately keeping him away, so that her sister could take advantage of our absence. And next she will be wanting to steal Mr. Darcy for herself. I suppose that she is all over him.”
“Actually, she was talking to Colonel Fitzwilliam when I was downstairs. And Mr. Darcy was sitting on his own, writing a letter.”
“Thank goodness for that. At least he will not be as stupid as our brother.”
“All men are stupid,” Mrs. Hurst unhelpfully observed.
“Not Mr. Darcy. He is the most sensible gentleman in England. If Charles had only half his sense, we would not have to suffer the mortification of his engagement.” She lay down again. “I feel quite overcome by this distressing news. You must read to me as a distraction, Louisa. No, not that book. The other one. And I think I need more tea. Or perhaps a glass of cordial to calm my nerves.”
“Yes, Caroline.”
CHAPTER 40
…a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart.
THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR, ACT III, SCENE IV
Upon rising from her bed the next morning, Elizabeth spotted a folded paper lying on the floor just inside her door. Mr. Darcy’s letter writing on the previous evening immediately came to mind. She picked up the sheet wondering if it might contain an appeal for her to reconsider his offer. The very idea caused a resurgence of temptation; however, she knew that her concerns could not be so easily whisked away. With great curiosity to know what he had to say, she sat down by the window, unfolded the paper, and read as follows:
Be not alarmed that this contains any repetition of the sentiments which I expressed so badly this morning, or any attempt at persuading you to reconsider. I perfectly understand why you felt it best to refuse my offer and bear you no ill will.
My only purpose in writing is to declare my intention of doing everything within my power to minimize the discomfort which you must be feeling. I am already to blame for your headache and your distress this morning; I would not for the world cause you any further pain.
I can imagine that you must be wishing yourself away from Netherfield as long as I am here. It cannot be supposed that you are anticipating any pleasure in continuing with theatricals in which I have a role. However, having seen the affection which you have for your sister, I can guess that you would hesitate to give her any cause for concern.
The obvious solution, and the one which will bring the greatest alleviation to your suffering, is for me to leave the neighbourhood. If that is what you wish, then I shall make the excuse of some urgent business and take myself away. You only need to indicate that this is what you desire, and I shall be gone as soon as the pretext can be manufactured.
Somebody else may take my part, or perhaps our friends may choose not to continue with the play; however, knowing your generous nature, it has occurred to me that you may be disinclined to cause disruption to their amusement.
If that is the case, I have an alternate solution to suggest. We might both remain here and continue with the rehearsals as planned while having as little to do with each other as possible. I promise not to press upon you the friendship which has given me so much delight in the past few days. A little conversation will be unavoidable, but I shall be respectful of your desire to minimize our interaction.
If you choose to stay, I will make certain that you need not rehearse with us this morning, and this evening I will again find some way of sparing you my company. I expect that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst will soon be among us again, which will make it easy for you and me to speak with each other infrequently, and for there to be a reduction in the intimacy of our group.
You recently said that the interactions of society are sometimes like acting. I believe that you and I are both very capable of pretending that nothing is amiss. My only concern is that this situation might be too distressing for you. I very much want you to choose according to your own needs and preferences, and I shall fully cooperate with your decision.
One more thing must be said. Although I have promised not to intrude upon you, I have indeed come to think of you as a valued friend. It would mean a great deal to me if some part of that friendship could be reclaimed in the future. Whatever the case, I shall always be very willing to serve you in any way.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
This conclusion left Elizabeth in a very emotional state. He was the kindest, most thoughtful person. He made no complaints and attempted no persuasion. There was only the greatest consideration of her feelings and concern for her welfare.
It was too much. She shed a few more tears, half in sorrow that she could not see her way past an insurmountable problem, and half in joy that he was still offering friendship.
She had no difficult in choosing from his suggestions. Banishing him was out of the question, and so was disappointing Jane and the other two gentlemen.
“I feel quite well,” she replied to Mr. Bingley’s query about her health at breakfast. “My headache is completely gone.”
“Excellent,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “Perhaps we may continue with our rehearsals.”
“I do not think we should take advantage of Miss Elizabeth’s generosity this morning,” Mr. Darcy said. “To be on the safe side, she should probably not do any reading today. We would not want to cause her headache to return.”
“No, we certainly would not,” Mr. Bingley agreed. “It would be better if she and Miss Bennet were to have a quiet day together while the three of us rehearse.”
“My thoughts exactly,” Mr. Darcy said. “We have plenty of material to keep us busy without requiring any assistance.”
It was managed as easily as he said, and Elizabeth did not see him again until dinner, at which time he was very civil, moderately friendly, and far less talkative. That evening, Miss Bingley made an appearance in the drawing room, and Mr. Darcy encouraged her efforts to dominate his company. She looked excessively happy at receiving so much attention, and it was no consolation for Elizabeth to see that he looked bored or to know that it was all done for her own sake.
I do not like it at all, she thought. I suppose this is jealousy rearing its ugly head. But I made my choice, and now I must choose not to be miserable every time he speaks with another lady.
CHAPTER 41
Once more unto the breach…
HENRY V, ACT III, SCENE I
At close intervals on Tuesday morning, officers marched and carriages rolled up the drive to Netherfield. The ground was soggy, the trees were dripping, and dampness was still in the air, but the rain had stopped. Miss Bingley had insisted that she was well and eager to be acting again, and the cast had been summoned to return.
Mr. Bennet’s carriage contained not only himself and Mr. Collins, but also his wife and his two youngest daughters. Mrs. Bennet had come to find out what was going on, and Kitty and Lydia wanted to know what all their favourite officers were up to.
The crowd paired up rather in the manner of a dance. With loud exclamations of delight, Kitty and Lydia rushed over to Mr. Pratt and Captain Carter, the only two officers whose arrival had preceded their own. This prompted some scornful whispering between Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst. Mr. Bingley went straight to Mr. Bennet with his request for a private conversation, and the two of them left the room. Mrs. Bennet made directly for Jane and propelled her into a quiet corner for a consultation. Mr. Collins approached Mr. Darcy with his usual eagerness.
“I have no doubt that you have been keenly studying your part, just as I have been doing,” he said. “I flatter myself that I have captured the
very essence of Dogberry.”
“What dreadful flirts those girls are,” Miss Bingley said to her sister.
“You must explain everything,” Mrs. Bennet said to Jane.
The Lucases entered next, and Elizabeth greeted Charlotte with pleasure while Sir William started up a conversation with Colonel Fitzwilliam.
“This is capital weather,” he said.
“I could not be more delighted,” Mr. Bennet said to Mr. Bingley in the privacy of the library.
The last four officers arrived, with Colonel Forster talking to Mr. Wickham, and Mr. Chamberlayne and Mr. Denny laughing together. Behind them, Mr. Bennet and Mr. Bingley returned, both of them looking very well satisfied.
“You are engaged to Mr. Bingley!” Mrs. Bennet shrieked in her quiet corner.
All the other conversations suddenly came to a halt, and everybody looked at her. They came together as a group again, and congratulations were warmly offered to the happy couple. Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst came in for their share as well, and they had to pretend to smile when Sir William told them that they were very fortunate to be gaining such a desirable sister.
In a few more minutes, new pairs were formed. Lydia started whispering to Mr. Denny, and Kitty was very keen to flirt with Mr. Wickham. Mrs. Bennet pulled Elizabeth away to the corner, and Colonel Fitzwilliam engaged Charlotte in conversation. Mr. Bingley and Jane walked over to stand by a window. Mr. Collins expressed an urgent desire to speak with Mr. Bennet, and they left the room. Mr. Darcy was besieged by Sir William instead. Captain Carter had a question for Colonel Forster, while Mr. Chamberlayne and Mr. Pratt discussed the unlikelihood of Mr. Collins having spent the intervening period learning his lines and requiring some acting ability. Only Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst remained together, looking very discontent.
“Sir William is such an irritating man,” Mrs. Hurst said.
“He has more hair than wit,” Miss Bingley responded, looking smugly at his balding head.
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