“We shall have to drum Mr. Collins’s lines into his head,” Mr. Chamberlayne said.
“I believe his part is all Greek to him,” Mr. Pratt joked, taking liberty with a line from Julius Caesar, which he had once acted in his schooldays.
“Your father was very gracious,” Mr. Bingley said. “There was just one strange thing. He wanted to be certain that there were no other claims on my hand. I do not know why he would think that there were.”
“I believe my cousin had the odd notion that you were engaged,” Jane replied. “He probably confused Papa with such silly nonsense.” No good can come from snitching on his sisters, she thought.
“He is a bit of a foolish man,” Mr. Bingley observed.
“More than just a bit,” Jane said.
Out in the hall, Mr. Collins said to Mr. Bennet, “I did ask first.”
“It would appear that Mr. Bingley asked better,” was Mr. Bennet’s amused reply.
“But he is supposed to marry his sisters’ friend.”
“Apparently not. It appears that they were mistaken.”
“I still asked first. If not for this dreadful rain we have been suffering, my suit would have been resolved before his was offered.”
“As I told you the other day, I never had any intention of compelling Jane to accept you against her wishes,” Mr. Bennet said. “My daughter is not for thee,” he quoted from Othello.
This was said so emphatically that Mr. Collins made no more protest, but he was thinking, there is another.
“What did you do to upset Mr. Collins, Lizzy?” Mrs. Bennet demanded in the corner which her daughter feared was not quiet enough.
“Nothing at all. He simply formed the idea that Lady Catherine would be more impressed with Jane.”
“Jane is a prize, to be sure, but she is far too good for Mr. Collins. I think even Lady Catherine would have to agree with that. She should be content with settling for you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. Mr. Collins is still in need of a wife, and if you make a great effort to be agreeable to him, I think it very likely that he will yet propose to you. It will not be such a great match as Jane’s, but it is still an advantageous one, and I would very much like to have two daughters engaged.”
“I am not bound to please thee with my answer,” Elizabeth muttered under her breath.
“What was that you said?”
“Nothing important. I was just quoting Shakespeare.”
“You are a great deal too much like your father. I should warn you, my dear, that gentlemen do not much care for ladies quoting Shakespeare.”
I hope that Mr. Collins does not, Elizabeth thought. Perhaps I should add it to my list of ways for getting rid of him.
Mr. Collins re-entered the room and looked about for Elizabeth. Spotting her in the corner, he made a beeline for his object, bumping into Captain Carter on his way and then rebounding onto Colonel Forster’s foot. Apologies were made with far more words than necessary, but after this delay, he resumed his course. In his wake, the company whirled around, and some new pairs were formed.
Some stayed the same. Mr. Bingley contentedly remained with Jane by the window, and Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley continued griping to each other. But Captain Carter turned to speak with Mr. Chamberlain, Mr. Pratt started talking to Charlotte, and the two colonels began conversing. Kitty flirted with Mr. Denny now, and Lydia took a turn with Mr. Wickham.
“Mr. Darcy is looking at Miss Eliza again,” Miss Bingley grumbled to her sister. “I think it would be a good idea to persuade Mr. Collins that she would make him a very good wife after all.”
“That may not be very difficult,” Mrs. Hurst said. “He is approaching her now, and there is something very purposeful in his manner.”
Having exactly the same idea, Mrs. Bennet quickly left her daughter and found a new companion in Sir William, to whom she said that she was very much looking forward to visiting his wife that morning. “She will be very interested to hear our news.”
Although he knew that his wife would prefer to be the giver rather than the receiver of such news, Sir William agreed that she would enjoy having a visitor.
“You are wearing a very pretty dress today, Cousin Elizabeth,” Mr. Collins said in the corner which was now more uncomfortable than ever.
“I am glad you think so,” Elizabeth replied. “It cost a great deal.”
I am ill at these numbers.
HAMLET, ACT II, SCENE II
I hope that Miss King does not hear of these two silly girls flirting with me, Mr. Wickham thought. I do not want her to think that I am paying any attention to other ladies. I do not know if I shall have her, but it is important to keep options open.
Ten thousand pounds. That is not much, but it may be the best that I can do. As far as I can tell, the rest of the ladies in this awful town have not ten thousand between them. There may be better opportunities at our next encampment, but better opportunities often mean a great deal more competition. Half of ten thousand should be sufficient to cover my debts, and then I can start with a clean slate. But not much of an income though.
Perhaps I should pay some more attention to Miss Elizabeth. She is about to gain a brother-in-law who looks like the type to be easily manipulated. A constant supply of money may be a better value in the long run. And he might feel inclined toward adding something to her dowry.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM, ACT I, SCENE I
Is Darcy avoiding Miss Elizabeth? Colonel Fitzwilliam wondered. He barely spoke ten words to her this morning, and their amusing conversations seem to have suddenly stopped. Miss Bingley was largely to blame yesterday, but the evening before that, he separated himself from the rest of us of his own accord. I begin to doubt the urgency of those business letters which he claimed to have been writing. It would appear that there is something amiss. Should I make some attempt to intervene in his affairs again, or is it time to leave well enough alone?
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE, ACT II, SCENE II
Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bennet were standing together, each of them appreciating that sometimes a silent man was the best companion.
I really should have spoken more forcefully to Mr. Collins when he told me of Jane’s refusal, Mr. Bennet was thinking. I should have known that such a man would require much stronger discouragement. It is fortunate that Mr. Bingley has made it impossible for Mr. Collins to bother her anymore.
Indeed, this engagement is fortunate in all respects. It certainly is advantageous, but most importantly he is a good, kind man, and obviously very much in love with her. I do believe Jane will be exceptionally happy with him, which is just what I want for all my daughters, but especially for her and Lizzy. I think they would find loveless marriages particularly difficult to bear.
He looked up, and upon seeing that Mr. Collins had trapped Lizzy in the corner, another quote from Othello flashed into his mind: What, have you lost your wits! That daughter is not for you either. She will undoubtedly make her disinterest very clear, but I do not suppose you to be capable of comprehending it. Well, if you are foolish enough to make another request of me, then I shall make use of stronger words like forbid and deny.
My pride fell with my fortunes.
AS YOU LIKE IT, ACT I, SCENE II
Mr. Darcy had been observing Kitty and Lydia.
To think they might have been my sisters-in-law. I should consider myself fortunate to have escaped that fate. In the words of Henry VI, let me embrace thee, sour adversity.
I am better off for having been refused. I shall not have three of the silliest ladies in England for my sisters. I shall not have one of the most vulgar ladies for my mother. I shall not have to be connected to Mr. and Mrs. Phillips or the aunt and uncle in Gracechurch Street. I shall not have to justify my choice to my relatives or wonder what people will think.
But I shall not have the lady I lov
e. And I do love her so very much. I want to be with her above all else. I do not think that connections are the most important thing. Especially not when they stand in the way of happiness.
There are much worse places in London than Cheapside. I believe some perfectly respectable people live there. Mr. Phillips may be an insignificant man, but I have heard that he is very good at his profession, and his wife is said to be quite hospitable. Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia are not the only young ladies to have ever been carried away by the sight of a red coat. Something must be allowed for the excitement of having a regiment in the neighbourhood. It is quite understandable for Mrs. Bennet to desire good marriages for her daughters. Only a foolish mother would not.
She seems to be having a perfectly ordinary conversation with Sir William. Perhaps she is not quite as vulgar as I have thought. Perhaps I should make an effort to know her a little better. And I might also try not to provoke her.
I think it quite possible for Miss Kitty and Miss Lydia to yet be tamed into less wild manners, and Miss Mary could be encouraged into less awkward ones. Admittedly, Mr. Collins is a dreadful cousin, but one cannot expect perfection in any family.
I wish he were not talking to Elizabeth now, and bothering her with his unwanted attentions. I wish that I could go over and rescue her, but I must keep to my promise of leaving her alone. But Mr. Bennet goes that way. I hope he means to intervene. Yes, it appears that is his purpose. In some ways, he is an excellent father. I would not object to having him as my father-in-law.
If only she could be persuaded to have faith in me.
But I do love thee!.
othello, ACT III, SCENE Iii
Elizabeth was grateful to her father for drawing the burden of Mr. Collins’s tedious conversation upon himself. While they were talking, she looked about and saw a familiar pair of eyes focused upon her.
Why is Mr. Darcy looking at me? Is he finding fault with me again? Or is he angry with me? But no, that cannot be the case. He was too kind in his letter. And he looks too thoughtful now.
Was he ever finding fault? Or were those looks of his really admiration? I do believe they were. How odd it is that he was falling in love with me when I thought he despised me. And I thought that I despised him, but all along there was something very interesting about him, which I was refusing to admit to myself. It was rather unfair of me to take offense at learning of his struggle. I believe that I can forgive him that.
I believe I can forgive him anything. I do love him so very much. Having started loving, it is impossible to stop. He is the only man with whom I want to be.
If only I could trust that his distaste for my family would not come between us.
And let us not be dainty of leave-taking, but shift away.
MACBETH, ACT II, SCENE III
“I suppose you will have to have Mr. Collins now,” Lydia said to Elizabeth. “I feel very sorry for you, but I am glad it is not me.”
“I wish I could be as lucky as you,” Kitty said to Jane.
I wish there were more heiresses in the world, Mr. Wickham thought.
I wish that my husband would not keep disappearing, Mrs. Hurst thought. I do not even know what part he has in our play. For that matter, does he have a part? I thought he was rehearsing with the officers. Is it possible that he has just been hiding away?
“We have been enjoying very pleasant weather,” Mr. Darcy almost said to Mrs. Bennet before recalling that they had endured four straight days of rain. “It is nice to see the sun shining again,” he said instead.
“We need to get on with practising our play,” Miss Bingley said to her brother. “You must encourage Mrs. Bennet and her daughters to go away.”
But they began to make their own farewells in a moment. A desire to share their news hastened them away.
Mrs. Bennet had one more thing to say to her daughter before leaving. “If Mr. Collins does ask you to marry him, Lizzy, I think it would be a very good idea to delay giving him a reply. It has suddenly occurred to me that you might try to get Mr. Darcy instead. That would be a far superior match, and he is so much nicer than I used to think he was. It will not be very difficult to keep Mr. Collins waiting for your answer. He has an odd notion of ladies liking to keep gentlemen in suspense.”
For once in her life, Elizabeth was very grateful that Kitty and Lydia were making a great deal of noise as they said goodbye to the officers.
In a few more minutes, the three interlopers left, Miss Bingley issued directions to the cast, and they resumed their rehearsals.
CHAPTER 42
There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune…
JULIUS CAESAR, ACT IV, SCENE III
For the most part, things went very smoothly that day. While the rain had been pouring down, the officers had been rehearsing their parts together and now had all their speeches perfectly memorized. Sir William had practising his lines with Charlotte’s assistance, and he was nearly perfect. Mr. Bennet had been word perfect from the very beginning, having studied his part from a folio in his own collection before their rehearsals had started. Mr. Collins was the only one who still did not know his speeches, but he muddled along with Charlotte prompting him and the other actors guiding his entrances and exits.
While they were rehearsing, the scene painter made his entrance, armed with cases of brushes and paints. Miss Bingley told him her vision for the scenery, and afterwards, Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy gave him some more practical instructions. He set to work at once, and when Mr. Bingley looked in on him later in the day, he was impressed by the man’s excellent rate of progress.
Their seamstress also made an appearance that morning, delivering a great quantity of completed costumes for the actors to try on. With nothing else to do during the rainy weather, she had been industriously cutting and stitching, and most of her work was now done.
With everything coming together so well, other than Mr. Collins learning how to act, which was irrelevant since nobody had any great expectations of him anyway, a date was set for their performance – the following Wednesday, which gave them a week to complete their preparations.
“We can invite a few people to come and watch us,” Mr. Bingley said. “Your family, of course, Sir William, and yours, Mr. Bennet. Any of the officers who would enjoy the entertainment are very welcome. And your betrothed, Colonel Forster. I expect that she will like to watch you act.”
“She will indeed,” the colonel said.
“I remember the Gouldings telling me that they enjoy attending the theatre whenever they are in London,” Mr. Bingley said. “We should invite them as well.”
Miss Bingley, who found the Gouldings a little more sophisticated than anybody else in the neighbourhood, promised to send them an invitation.
“And we must have a supper afterwards,” Mr. Bingley cried. “That will make an excellent conclusion to the evening.”
Looking as though she felt herself very hard done by. Miss Bingley went to speak with the housekeeper.
At dinner, however, she was herself eager to add to their guest list. “You should send for dear Georgiana to watch our play as well,” she said to Mr. Darcy.
“I am afraid that will not be possible,” he replied. “At the current moment, she is very busy with her music lessons.”
“I am certain that she could spare a little time away from her music for such an important purpose,” Miss Bingley protested.
He remained firm in insisting that his sister would not attend, but she still declared her disappointment. Understanding how awkward this must be for Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth felt very sympathetic toward him and very annoyed with Miss Bingley for causing him discomfort. She was just wondering how to interrupt when Mr. Bingley did so, and in a way which she considered to be well deserved.
“You have put me in mind of an excellent idea,” he said to his sister, “you must send an invitation to Jane’s aunt and uncle in London as well. I understand that they are very keen on theatrical
s, and it will be delightful to meet them.”
Miss Bingley was notably unenthusiastic, which gave Jane the idea of taking the liberty of writing an invitation herself. Otherwise, she had no doubt, one would mysteriously fail to arrive. If her suspicions were wrong, then it would not much matter that her aunt and uncle were doubly invited; however, if those suspicions were correct, then Miss Bingley would be subtly taught that the future mistress of Netherfield was not going to be easily put upon.
“That was rather awkward,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said to Mr. Darcy afterwards. “We certainly could not have Georgiana here with Mr. Wickham about.”
“No, indeed. It was a horrifying suggestion. I had to struggle not to hide how shocked I was.”
“I believe you hid it very well. Some things are not so easy to hide, however, which brings me to something that I have been wanting to ask you. Do I mistake the matter, or are you avoiding Miss Elizabeth?”
Mr. Darcy hesitated for a moment and then replied, “It is not so much avoiding as sparing her the awkwardness of my company.”
“Has something happened between the two of you?”
“I asked her to marry me, and she turned me down, so I am trying not to make her uncomfortable.”
“This is my fault,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said. “She needed more time to know you better. I should not have tried to hasten things along. I fear that my scheme is responsible for compelling you to speak too soon.”
“You are not to blame. Haste was not the issue. She does love me. Or she did. She was going to accept me, but then I admitted to my concerns about her family, and she decided that we would not suit after all.”
“What on earth did you do that for?”
“The sake of honesty. I mentioned my struggles, which then necessitated giving a truthful explanation.”
“One does not usually mention struggles when making a proposal.”
Much Ado About Many Things Page 20