Much Ado About Many Things

by Sophie Lynbrook

  “You were speaking some of the lines from memory the other week,” Mr. Bingley said, “and you acted the role very well. I am confident that you can do this, and we will all help you rehearse.”

  “I know you can do it,” Jane said. “We would not want to disappoint our audience.”

  “Mrs. Pratt’s mother came especially,” Mr. Bingley said.

  “My nephew must not be without a Beatrice,” Lady Catherine said.

  “You are the perfect Beatrice,” Mr. Darcy said.

  Miss Bingley let out a faint screech, but all eyes were upon Elizabeth.

  “Would you be so good as to oblige us?” Mr. Darcy asked.

  “I will,” she replied.

  CHAPTER 51

  O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright

  ROMEO AND JULIET, ACT I, SCENE V

  Mr. Jones arrived after they had finished breakfast, and he gave his opinion that Miss Bingley had overtaxed her voice by speaking too much so soon after recovering from her cold.

  “I strongly recommend that you refrain from speaking for at least a week, and preferably longer,” he advised. “Even when your voice does return, you must not overuse it, or else the strain may cause even greater damage.”

  Miss Bingley, feeling very much put out, took to her bed again. Lady Catherine promptly assumed the responsibility of giving the servants directions. Shrewdly guessing that a voiceless sister could still be a great burden, Mrs. Hurst made no protest. Fearing that they might suddenly find some part for him, Mr. Hurst hastily announced that he was going shooting. Lord Matlock and Lord Ashbourne were eager to join him.

  Mr. Bingley called for his horse and rode to Longbourn to personally ask Mrs. Gardiner if she would act the role of Margaret in place of Elizabeth. It had been offered to Georgiana, but she felt herself too nervous to perform upon a stage. Lady Matlock had also declined, and Lady Catherine was fortunately not in the room at the time. There was nobody who thought that she would really be a great proficient.

  Nobody had bothered to ask Mrs. Jenkinson and Miss de Bourgh, who were again busy with the shawls and the screens and the selecting of the most suitable place to sit. Mrs. Annesley had been consulted, but she confessed to having no talent for acting. She was very willing to help if needed, but happy to let the role go to a more capable person. Jane and Elizabeth had suggested their aunt, and that had settled the matter.

  They went to the theatre with Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam and started rehearsing while Mr. Bingley was gone on his quest. By the time that he returned, Elizabeth felt fairly confident in her ability to do the first scene.

  “Mrs. Gardiner was very happy to help,” he said. “She and the others will be here soon.”

  In the meantime, they began upon another scene. Elizabeth was in the middle of insulting Mr. Darcy at the masque when the Gardiners and Mr. Collins arrived. She rushed off the stage to greet her aunt and uncle while Mr. Darcy smiled at seeing the affection between the three of them.

  Mr. Bingley had already told him that they were a pleasant couple, which he now saw for himself. Their wide smiles and warm manners were pleasing, and he also found them to be vastly superior to Mrs. Bennet. Even his proud self could not have found fault with such sensible and well-mannered people. He was happy to be introduced to the pair, and they spent a few enjoyable minutes talking before resuming their rehearsal.

  These relatives were also very encouraging of Elizabeth’s ability to take over a part short notice.

  “She is a very good actress,” Mr. Gardiner said to Mr. Darcy.

  “She is indeed,” Mr. Darcy replied.

  But Mr. Collins was not so confident.

  “You must do your best,” he said to his cousin. “Do not make yourself uneasy about your inability to act the role as well as Miss Bingley. Hers is a superior talent, as befits her status, but nobody will think the worse of you for being less capable.”

  Mr. Darcy was not having this. “Miss Elizabeth is by far the superior actress,” he said firmly. “It astonishes me that you cannot see this, but I would rather have her in the part than anybody else.”

  Mr. Collins looked astonished, but he bowed to Mr. Darcy’s opinion. The Gardiners looked at him in disgust, but he was then ignored. Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth resumed their scene, and Mrs. Gardiner sat down to study her part.

  In a short time, the officers arrived. There was a little more conversation, in which Colonel Forster repeated the apologies which he had previously relayed through Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr. Denny also apologized for having introduced Mr. Wickham among them.

  Mr. Bingley set them both at ease, and then they went into another room, along with Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Collins. Mr. Darcy would have been happy to spend more time with one of them, but he was very glad to see the back of the other.

  How dare Mr. Collins insult Elizabeth! he thought. He has not the slightest idea what constitutes good acting. He has not the slightest idea of anything.

  They decided to next rehearse the two scenes which had all four of the ladies in them. Mrs. Hurst was nowhere to be found, but Colonel Fitzwilliam volunteered to read her role. Mr. Darcy sat down to watch, which he enjoyed as much as acting with Elizabeth. She had a shining presence on the stage.

  They spent some time on these two scenes, and after that, he briefly acted with Mrs. Gardiner, who was doing an excellent job. Their changes did seem to be working out for the best. He had a little sympathy for Miss Bingley, but the audience would be well served by the substitution, and he could not help rejoicing that everything had turned out in this way. For his part, he was looking forward to performing the play as he had most enjoyed rehearsing it, with a brilliant Beatrice who brought liveliness and merriment to the role.

  She was the perfect Beatrice, the perfect lady, the perfect wife if she were willing to accept him, which he thought might be the case. And never again would he think her anything other than the best part of his life.

  After a couple of productive hours, Mrs. Gardiner felt sufficiently well prepared, and she turned her attention to the matter of costumes. Mr. Wickham’s did not fit Mr. Gardiner, Miss Bingley’s did not fit Elizabeth, and hers did not fit her aunt, who undertook the task of making some adjustments with the help of Georgiana, Mrs. Annesley, and Lady Matlock, who was surprisingly deft with a needle.

  The others continued helping Elizabeth, who worked tirelessly over the next few hours, rehearsing all of Beatrice’s lines many times over until she was able to perform without the script or the aid of prompting.

  The officers gradually left as they were no longer needed, and then the Gardiners and Mr. Collins, who had indeed been more of a hindrance than a help. Mr. Bingley went to see how his guests were faring, and Jane and Colonel Fitzwilliam slipped away as Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth went through their scenes together one more time.

  “I do love nothing in the world so well as you,” he said for the fourth time that day, but he was talking to Elizabeth now, not to Beatrice. “I do, you know. I love you more than consequence and any other stupid notions which have nothing to do with happiness. I love you more than I ever thought it possible to love, and I will never stop loving you. I cannot promise to be perfect, but I can promise to do everything to ensure that pride and conceit do not play a role in our marriage. If you will marry me? If you can trust me?”

  “I can and I will,” she replied joyfully. “I do not doubt you. And I love nothing in the world so well as you.”

  CHAPTER 52

  I heard a bustling rumor…

  Julius caesar, act ii, scene iv

  Jane, Mr. Bingley, and Colonel Fitzwilliam had been given the news, and they had rejoiced in this happy ending. Georgiana was also informed, and she declared herself delighted with her future sister. Mr. Darcy preferred not to tell anybody else until he had spoken to Mr. Bennet, and Elizabeth to her mother. They hoped to do so that evening, but no time presented itself before the play.

  The audience members arrived one after another in quick su
ccession, and most of them were eager to talk about the recent scandal.

  “I heard that Mr. Wickham is in debt with every tradesman, Mrs. Phillips said.

  “I heard that his seductions extended into every tradesman’s family,” Mrs. Long said.

  “I heard that his gaming debts are extensive,” Mrs. Bennet said.

  “I heard that they went to London and not to Gretna Green,” Mrs. Goulding said. “It was a devious tactic to evade Mr. King.”

  This intriguing bit of information drew the eyes of the other ladies upon her, but it was Lady Lucas who had the most interesting news of all. “They did go to London,” she said, drawing herself up proudly. “It was my John and Harry who stopped them. They were on their way home when they saw Mr. Wickham and Miss King on the verge of getting into a hackney-coach. John demanded to know what they were doing, and when Miss King admitted the truth, they prevented Mr. Wickham from taking her any further. They are the heroes of this drama,” she concluded with shining eyes.

  The younger ladies were gathered together in another group.

  “It is a great loss,” the elder Miss Long lamented. “Mr. Wickham was the handsomest of the officers.”

  “And the most charming,” her sister added.

  “I cannot understand him going off with that nasty, freckled Miss King,” Lydia complained. “I blame her entirely.”

  Kitty nodded. “He was not the sort of man to do such a thing.”

  “I heard that he was,” Maria Lucas said, but this idea was dismissed by the others.

  “It matters only that there is a lesson to be learned from this,” Mary Bennet said, but nobody wanted to hear her lesson.

  The gentlemen were all congratulating Mr. Lucas and his brother on their quick thinking and decisive action. Colonel Forster and the other officers felt able to breathe easier knowing that Miss King was safe.

  “Are we not going to have a play this evening?” Lady Catherine’s voice rose above the din, and Mr. Bingley hastily announced that everybody should take a seat and the performance would begin momentarily.

  CHAPTER 53

  Oh well done! I commend your pains…

  Macbeth, act iv, scene i

  As the curtain was pulled back, the audience became silent. Mr. Bennet made his entrance, followed by Jane and Elizabeth, as well as Mr. Pratt, playing the messenger who brought the happy news of Don Pedro’s visit. Don Pedro himself arrived soon after, along with Claudio, who could not conceal his affection for Hero; Benedick, who was finding it difficult not to look at his Beatrice with the same eyes of love; Don Pedro, who found it hard not to smile at both of them; Don John, who was creditably sullen looking; and Balthazar, who was much admired by the young ladies in the audience. With Mr. Wickham’s departure, Mr. Denny was now the handsomest of the officers.

  The first act was well received. There were scattered phrases of praise among the audience, over which Lady Catherine was loudly heard to declare, “My nephews excelled above all others.”

  “Mr. Denny looked so handsome in his costume,” Kitty said.

  Maria Lucas giggled.

  “That line about the barking dog reminds me, Mama, that we did not tell you about the dog who was barking when we went into Meryton the other day,” Lydia said.

  She was shushed as the second scene began.

  In the third scene, Mr. Gardiner played his part very well, and Don John continued to look sullen. Perhaps he was thinking of the disappointment his former officer had been. When the curtain was closed, the audience clapped enthusiastically.

  The scenery was hastily changed, and the curtain opened upon the second act. The couples danced, and they were merry. Schemes were laid, both good and bad. Colonel Forster accidentally smiled once, but that could easily be attributed to glee over their evil plans.

  From the adjoining room Elizabeth watched with pride as Mr. Darcy performed his soliloquy extremely well. There was rousing applause as he hid in the arbour, so she did not hear Lady Catherine say, “He gets his talent from his mother’s family.”

  His mention of a howling dog did not prompt any sudden remarks from Lydia, thank goodness. Instead, it was Mr. Collins whom she interrupted in the third act when he was speaking of thieves. “There was a thief in Meryton,” she suddenly cried. “That was why the dog was barking.”

  The audience shushed her again, Mr. Collins glared at her, and Lady Catherine said, “That girl is much too talkative.”

  Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy grinned at each other, and she thought, well, at least it was not his soliloquy.

  In the fourth act, Mrs. Pratt clapped delightedly at seeing her son dressed as the friar. Jane’s emotional scenes were also applauded, and then Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy performed their love scene to more rousing applause. They left the stage smiling happily at each other.

  In the last scene everything was put to rights, Claudio and Hero were reunited, and Benedick kissed Beatrice. Mr. Darcy’s pretend kiss was about half an inch from being a real kiss.

  “Really Darcy, there is no need for you to stand so close to Miss Bennet,” Lady Catherine cried. “It almost looks as though you are kissing her.”

  “I think he really is kissing her,” Lydia said.

  “Is he?” Mrs. Bennet cried. “Are you engaged, Lizzy?”

  Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth grinned at each other again.

  “I was not kissing her. That was a pretend kiss, but yes, we are engaged,” he admitted, giving in to the inevitable. “If that is agreeable to you,” he added looking at Mr. Bennet.”

  “Perfectly agreeable,” Mr. Bennet replied. “Absolutely delightful, in fact.”

  As Mrs. Bennet cried out her own delight, Lady Catherine said, “I think not. I have some strong objections to the match.”

  “I have no interest in hearing your objections, and we have a play to resume,” Mr. Darcy said.

  “I am not done,” Lady Catherine cried. “You cannot have given this any proper consideration. Think of the lady’s family. Her lack of connections. Her lack of accomplishments and fortune.”

  “I have considered, and there is nothing which hinders me from thinking myself extremely fortunate.”

  “Fortunate,” his aunt scoffed. “She is dreadfully beneath you. And what about her sisters? You cannot want that girl who interrupted Mr. Collins’s speech to be your sister.”

  “You are interrupting the play yourself,” he pointed out.

  “This is different,” she declared.

  The audience seemed not to mind the interruption. For the most part they were watching with keen interest. Mrs. Bennet was looking at Lady Catherine with rage, but as Mr. Darcy was evidently not going to be moved by his aunt’s words, she refrained from declaring her anger.

  Lord Matlock had had enough, however. “You are making a spectacle of yourself,” he said to his sister. “Whether or not we like Darcy’s choice is irrelevant. It is his choice, he is engaged, and our role is to respect his wife. Now, do be quiet and let the actors finish their play.”

  “Surely, you are not going to acknowledge this upstart,” she cried.

  “Yes, I am, but upstart is not the word I will use. I shall call her niece, as should you. Now, let that be the last word on the subject or else I shall be playing the role of a bear to your Antigonus.”

  She looked at him with shock, but she was quiet, and the play resumed.

  “In brief, since I do purpose to marry, I will think nothing to any purpose that the world can say against it, and therefore never flout at me for what I have said against it. For man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion,” Mr. Darcy said in one of his last speeches.

  CHAPTER 54

  A goodly prize…

  Henry vi, part I, scene v, act iii

  “That was very well done, Lizzy,” Mrs. Bennet said to her daughter afterwards. “Both the play and your engagement. It was very clever of you to get Mr. Darcy instead of Mr. Collins.”

  Would there be any point to telling her that I was never going to
accept Mr. Collins?

  “There was nothing clever about it, Mama. I love him, and he loves me. Ours is entirely a love match. I think nothing of money, and he thinks nothing of consequence.

  “Money,” Mrs. Bennet mused. “You will have such pin money. And such carriages and jewels.”

  “I already have the only jewel I want,” Elizabeth said to deaf ears.

  “You will be mistress of Pemberley. It sounds like a very grand place.”

  “It sounds like a happy place to me. It will be the happiest place in the world.”

  What fates impose, that men must needs abide; it boots not to resist both wind and tide.

  HENRY VI, PART III, ACT IV, SCENE IV

  “You cannot really mean to accept this match,” Lady Catherine said to her brother. “The girl is nobody.”

  “She is not what I would have chosen for Darcy,” Lord Matlock acknowledged, “but as I said, that is not relevant. We have advised him as we saw fit, as did his parents before us. Well, before me anyway. Frankly, Catherine, you have always had a habit of advising anybody whether it was your place or not. You might want to reconsider that habit. But as to Darcy, he has a sound mind and good principles. I think he has been guided well, and if he must diverge from what we think best, then so be it. Instead of fussing, Henrietta and I will do our best to help the girl understand her role.”

  “It should have been Anne’s role. What do you say to that?”

  “That nobody is obliged to follow your dictates. That is not a good way of going about things. Darcy was never engaged to Anne. He is now engaged to a charming lady, whose flaws we must learn to overlook. She will be family, and family is everything. That guarantees her my loyalty.”

  This is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.

  THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR, ACT V, SCENE I