Blue Moon Investigations Ten Book Bundle

by steve higgs

  ‘Wow.’ Said Big Ben. ‘What is that?’

  ‘This little thing?’ I asked hefting the three-foot rounded bat. I turned it over in my hands to reveal the words running down the length of it.

  Zombie Twatting Stick.

  ‘Frank had it in his apocalypse survival kit.’ I explained. Big Ben nodded his approval and it was time to deal with the next Klown.

  They appeared content to continue running into us despite what had already happened to three of their number. The next was no different but the gaps were now closing so this would have to be the last one. I heard a war-cry from behind and glanced to see two more Klowns finally converging on our position from the other direction.

  I slapped Big Ben on the shoulder and peeled off to deal with them. We had a few seconds before we needed to change direction once more and leave the remaining Klowns to follow behind us. As I turned around, I found Frank and Poison ahead of me with their weapons up. The two Klowns, one with a stupid blue wig, one completely bald, both had bats which they were holding above their heads to smash down. They were also out of shape and out of breath and easy pickings. Not that I got to do anything to them. There was a blur of motion as the tiny, yet graceful Poison spun her short swords in a series of arcs before their oncoming faces. Perhaps realising they were about to be turned into mincemeat, and no longer imbued with the bravado they felt when they had lots of their brethren around them, they screeched to a halt. Both were looking at Poison who was still swishing her swords and failed to see Frank and Jagjit. The pair of them hit the Klowns in the face, Frank with the end of his battle-axe and Jagjit with a discarded bat he had collected from one of the other fallen Klowns. Both men went down with a spray of blood from their faces. The team was being remarkably polite about whacking the Klowns. We would have been well within our rights to maim or kill them as they would most probably do to us if we allowed ourselves to be caught. Real violence like that though leaves a mental scar and overcoming the natural urge to not cut chunks off of people takes quite a bit of motivation. Plus, it would make our explanation to the Police far more complicated, so it was for the best that we left them injured or unconscious but alive.

  The once spread out circle of Klowns was now nearly upon us as one converging hoard. We had taken care of half a dozen or more, but it still left us outnumbered by better than two to one.

  All the time we had been running, I had been directing us towards the North Gate where we would exit the Castle grounds and be back where there were alleys to slip down. The tightness of the alleyways meant that the Klowns would only be able to get to us one or two at a time. The general area was also where I was certain the Police would come from. The Klowns were only a few metres behind us as we turned right onto the High Street. Frank's shop was just to our left around the corner. My office was dead ahead and I could see light from the flames playing off the white walls of the Elizabethan buildings as ahead there were firefighters tackling it.

  Then, as we ran through the dark shadow of the stone gate a flare went off just to our left and then a half heartbeat later another to our right.

  ‘Quickly, all of you get behind me.’ Instructed Lyndon Parrish. He was standing in our path wearing a robe and looking surprisingly calm, as if oblivious or unconcerned about the madness chasing us. In his right hand was another flare which he lit as we reached him. ‘Quick, Frank. Get them beyond the circle markings.’

  We had not broken our pace and would be behind him in a second. The Klowns were right on our heels though and would carve this fool into pieces, I was sure of it.

  ‘Lyndon, they are just men and they are armed.’ I yelled grabbing his arm.

  He shook me off and I wasn't going to hang around. Frank looked like he might though until I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him with me. He had too little body weight to resist. We left Lyndon behind us as we turned onto the High Street.

  Lyndon was bellowing Latin incantations at the top of his lungs. As I watched he took a few steps backward, allowing the Klowns to come at him then stuck the flare's burning end to the floor. A brief explosion followed which hurt my eyes with its brightness. Something on the floor had ignited in an elaborate pattern all around and between where the Klowns were.

  The flash stunned the Klowns, leaving them stationary and looking bewildered. In front of them, Lyndon had his hands held aloft still screaming indecipherable phrases. But he ended with, ‘You are trapped, foul hell-spawn. Now I will banish you.'

  With a flourish of his arms, he opened his mouth to speak. A claw hammer sailed out from the midst of the Klowns and hit him square in the forehead. He went over backward and lay still.

  It broke the spell for us and for the Klowns. Everyone started running again as one. Them trying to catch us. Me trying to lead my friends away.

  ‘There, on the left.' I yelled as we ran. The others saw what I was pointing to and one by one ducked down a tiny gap between two buildings. It was barely wide enough for Big Ben's shoulders so would most certainly stop the Klowns from coming at us as a mob. Equally, it meant that we were only able to fight them pretty much one to one. I was last to enter the alleyway, thankful for the refuge it offered. Only then did I realise my awful mistake. The alley was a dead end.

  Emphasis on dead.

  I squashed my panic down. If the Klowns had any guns they would have used them by now, so we just had blunt weapons and knives to fend off until the Police came. The sirens were getting closer, the sound difficult to pinpoint in the confines of the alley. I sounded though as if the Police had driven past us and were going away. The sound was getting quieter.

  ‘Did I just hear the Police drive straight past?’ asked Frank, expressing the worry the rest of us felt.

  I had no time to be concerned about that now though as the first Klown came around the edge of the building at speed. He was moving so fast he careened into the wall of the building on the far side as he entered and bounced off - directly into my bat which I swung upwards to connect under his chin. I had been expecting the first one to be caught off guard so had waited right at the entrance to the alley and suckered him as he appeared.

  He fell out of the alley and into the street as a warning to the next in line who slammed on the brakes. Two, then three, then multiple faces appeared to block off the end of the alley. We were trapped. Pinned in by my poor judgement.

  The Klowns were not attacking and I wondered why for a very short moment until I heard the reason. From just out of sight a chainsaw started up, and then another. The Klowns at the front parted to let the two chainsaw-wielding maniacs enter. They came at me slowly. I hefted the bat, genuinely scared. Between us, we had no weapon that was long enough to hit the Klowns without getting too close to the chainsaws. If I threw my bat at either one of them, it might hit but was unlikely to do enough damage and would then be lost. I took an involuntary step back. They were grinning.

  Behind me, I could hear my team looking for a way out. Big Ben had found a small door and was smashing into it with his shoulder. I glanced over my shoulder as I backed away. Big Ben had no run up so was throwing himself off the opposite wall of the alley. As I watched, he slammed into the door with all his might and weight.

  He bounced off. ‘That was about as pointless as dating a flat-chested woman.’ he observed. ‘Okay. Plan B is I take the chainsaws and shove them up your arses. Who’s first?’ he asked them over my shoulder.

  They just grinned again. ‘No way out this time, Mr. Michaels.' taunted Deadface from behind them.

  Angry, I swung my bat hard, hoping to knock the chainsaw from their hands. They both moved to intercept with their chainsaws which gripped my bat and snatched it from my hands. It was gone in a flurry of wood chips.

  Deadface laughed.

  Then from above, came a familiar voice. ‘Why did the Klowns lie down in the street?' A solid oak park bench flew over our heads to land on the two Klowns in front of me. It bounced once and knocked Deadface over. ‘Because they had a bench on their heads
! Hur, hur. Skittles.' As one we all turned to look up. Above us on the flat roof of the shop behind us was Basic. Looking like Quasimodo silhouetted against the night sky, he had come to our rescue.

  ‘How did you get that thing up there?’ Jagjit asked.

  ‘Wasn't easy.' came his simple reply. The park bench must weigh at least two hundred pounds. I could ask him about it later. For now, Deadface was still on the floor trying to get up and the chainsaws had automatically switched off when the operators had let go of the triggers.

  I took two purposeful paces forward, stepping onto and then over the bench and the other Klowns beneath it to grab Deadface by his hair. At the mouth of the alley, the remaining Klowns were looking far less confident than they had a few seconds ago. I pulled Deadface up but as usual, I had underestimated him. In his right hand, which had been tucked beneath his body he held a wicked looking knife.

  With my hand holding his hair he spun and thrust it at me. It came right for my heart, thankfully ending in a dull clang as it hit the Kevlar plate in my armour. He followed it up with a fist to my injured ribs though. I should have seen it coming but anger had clouded my senses. I let go as the pain hit and threatened to overwhelm me.

  He slipped away from me, got to his feet and dived back along the alleyway towards the Klowns and safety. I dived, slipped and crashed to the floor still wobbly from the burst of pain in my side.

  I heard sirens again, the blissfully welcome noise dopplering off the tall buildings of the High Street. Big Ben hauled me to my feet.

  ‘Let’s get them, Tempest.’ Big Ben had a full head of steam and was looking for something or someone to smash. I had seen it before. I would not want to be on the receiving end, but it was great to have by my side.

  ‘Yeah. Let’s do that.’ I replied.

  Ahead of us, the Klowns were no longer looking at us but were glancing around in all directions trying to find an escape route. The Police had cut them off from both ends of the High Street. I could see flashing lights coming from both directions. The sirens we had heard going past us was them circling around to trap them. Deadface was out there somewhere. I had to find him and force him to tell me what he had done with my dogs and Mrs. Comerforth.

  I got to my feet and started back down the alley towards its exit onto the High Street and the confusion of Klowns still there. Right on my shoulder were Frank, Poison, Jagjit and Big Ben. Basic was most likely circling back around again.

  In a complete reversal, the Klowns ran and now we were chasing them. On the opposite side of the street, there was another alleyway. It looked like nothing more than a dark hole between two shops that was eating light rather than allow it to penetrate the gloom. Once the first Klown had disappeared down it, the rest were swift to follow. The Klowns were heading back towards the Castle. This was going to work in my favour.

  As I ran, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialled. As it picked up, I started talking. Big Ben glanced at me but left his question unasked.

  The alley ended at the back of the two buildings forming it. We had now run three sides of a square and were crossing College Yard which would bring us back out next to the Cathedral.

  Perfect.

  Ahead of us, the Klowns skidded to a stop. There was roughly a dozen of them, all armed still and dangerous. We were behind them, but it was what faced them that had brought them to a halt.

  In the clearing, just in front of the Cathedral, was a sea of clowns. The call I had made had been to Big Dick and the CLITs. I had promised I would keep him informed of my progress. My earlier call had been received when he and his cohort were meeting with Dr. Parrish again, right here in Rochester High Street. Dr. Parrish had recruited dozens of them, all at the same rate rather than for one fixed fee, so had he been able to banish the Klowns back to hell he would get a payday for it. My simple advice to Richard had been that the Klowns were here and we could end the whole thing tonight if they showed up in force.

  Now they were fanned out in a semi-circle, three deep in places, all of them hefting bats and looking angry despite the painted-on smiles.

  The Klowns had nowhere to go. From the midst of the clowns, a lone horn honked to break the standoff. Deadface screamed a banshee cry and charged them. The other Klowns followed him. It was the only tactic that could work. They would try to punch a hole through the line. There was no way I was going to let him escape but chasing after them yet again I realised that I could no longer tell who was who.

  In front of us was a melee of Klowns and clowns.

  Then, finally, the Police arrived. Someone was shouting instructions through a loudhailer, telling the disorganised riot of men to drop their weapons and lie down. No one paid him any heed.

  With a battle cry that started in the pit of my stomach, I charged. My ribs did their best to remind me I was still broken but I ignored their advice and ran, my head down to collide with the what I hoped was a Klown. It wasn't though. I let him go and tried another, grabbing him and spinning him around so I could work out whether to punch him or not. Wrong again.

  Where on earth was Deadface?

  ‘Tempest.’ A cry split the air in Amanda’s familiar voice.

  There she was, on the other side of the open space by a dark gap between buildings. A few paces to her left was CI Quinn directing the black uniforms as they met with the Klowns and clowns. In his hand was the loud hailer. He lifted it to his lips and bellowed out another command, drowning out what she was trying to tell me.

  I separated myself from the battle. Big Ben was behind me, visible above everyone else, smacking heads together and enjoying himself. Somewhere in the muddle of fighting bodies, would be Frank and Poison, but both were so short I could not see them, and I had no idea where Jagjit was. The Police were converging on the whole lot of them now, so I felt hopeful that the fight was over and my friends would be safe.

  I jogged quickly across the street to Amanda.

  ‘I lost Deadface.’

  ‘I saw two Klowns slip out towards the Castle. The Chief Inspector sent a team after them but if Deadface is not over there,' she said indicating the pile of people now with their hands in the air surrendering or already on the floor in cuffs. ‘then he must be this way instead.'

  ‘Amanda. I keep Tempest safe.’ Claimed a slightly out of breath Basic arriving by my side.

  ‘Yes, you did, buddy.’ I called back over my shoulder as I started down the dark path. If Deadface went this way, then I needed to catch up with him. ‘Amanda, I need you.’ I shouted as she was not following me. I had no clue where they had gone and little chance of tracking them without radio contact, which Amanda had.

  She hesitated, looking at CI Quinn, then tore after me and Basic, speaking into her lapel mike as she ran.

  A muffled reply came back over her radio. ‘Go right, Tempest. They are heading towards the river.’ She shouted. We were all getting out of breath now. My pulse was hammering from adrenalin anyway, fighting was hard on the body even without getting hurt.

  We came out from between two buildings onto Epaul Lane and were back at the Castle grounds, but further away from the Cathedral than we had been. The scene ahead of us was one of desolation. Abandoned stalls, discarded clothing, food and general detritus from the event was strewn all over. Smaller, lighter items were being blown about by the chilly breeze. Several stalls had been knocked over and I could smell a fire somewhere, probably an untended food truck with food now burning on the hot plate. There were no people in sight, but I was sure they would return soon, the stall holders at least would want to get back to make sure their source of livelihood was intact.

  We cut down Castle Hill then had to run up the steep incline to enter the Castle grounds. Basic stopped before we reached the top. He was out of breath. Amanda glanced at him and may have stopped had she then not heard a call for help over her radio.

  Someone was hurt.

  ‘Oh, God.’ She swore. ‘It’s Brad.’ She was talking into the radio to get their position. We ha
d paused as we needed a direction to head in. I wanted to find Deadface, but casualties had to take precedence. Basic caught up with us just as Amanda yelled and ran off again. Across the Castle grounds in the dark towards the exit onto the esplanade and the river.

  At the steps that led down to the road from the Castle, we saw two forms on the ground, both in uniform. I recognised Brad Hardacre immediately. I did not know the other Officer, but they were both clearly hurt and were leaking blood onto the cold stone.

  Amanda swore again and called for assistance at our location. We were both attending to the wounded, each using our training to stem the blood flow.

  ‘Hey, buddy. What's your name?' I asked the Officer. He was conscious, and I wanted to keep him that way. I had not seen blood like this since I was in the Army.

  ‘Ian.’ he said. He was not very talkative and had given me his name through gritted teeth. I reassured him while I checked the wound. It was a stab to his abdomen and was spilling enough blood that it must have nicked his artery there.

  CI Quinn’s voice came over the radio. ‘Harper. Report. What is your location and situation?’ he sounded cool, calm and in control. Part of me wanted to throttle him, the rational part of my brain observed that he had most likely risen to his position because of such attributes.

  ‘At the north side of the Castle grounds, on the steps leading down to the esplanade. Hardacre and Bloomwell are injured. Stabbed, and need urgent medical attention.’

  He acknowledged her message and the line went dead again.

  Brad was speaking from his prone position. A team of six had gone after Deadface and one other but had lost them and split up into three pairs. Brad and Ian had been attacked and stabbed as they came past a stall that the two Klowns had been hiding in. They escaped down the stairs but the Klowns had made no attempt to pursue them anyway. The last thing Brad had seen was the Klowns disappearing back towards the Castle itself.