Never Too Late

by Ana Balen

  “You’re here,” I whispered.

  I looked down and watched my hands as they roamed his upper body. He had a light dusting of hair on his chest. The perfect amount to tease my hard nipples when he was looming over me or inside me. There was a tattoo of a hummingbird on his right pectoral. “It’s you,” he whispered.

  “What?” I was again getting lost in the feeling of filling myself with him.

  “You’re the bird, baby.” He pushed his hips up to meet mine.

  “God,” I moaned and threw my head back.

  After letting the feeling travel through my system, I pushed up and once again went for a slow glide down.

  “Sophie,” Dylan warned.

  “The bird?” I tried to get us back on track.

  “The most beautiful and the most delicate thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

  “Dylan,” I stopped and whispered.

  “Move, baby,” he demanded.

  I did as told. And soon, I again got lost.

  The thing was, I never wanted to be found again.

  “Right, I get that this is too much, it’s fast, what happened. Us not even having a conversation about the time we were apart,” he started. “But, and I’m sorry, baby, it’s going to get faster.”

  I didn’t know how to feel as I listened to him speaking, all I knew was I couldn’t help the hope that lit in me when I saw him standing inside my door holding a Christmas tree.

  “You with me?”

  “I’m with you,” I said softly, even though I didn’t know what I’m with him in.

  “So to get us on the right path, I’m here, you’re here. And you’re going to stay here.”

  “What?”

  “You’re not moving away, Sophie. You’re not leaving Hopeful,” he clarified. “I’m not losing you again. It’s been seventeen years since I had you, and baby, I thought I remembered, but I didn’t. I don’t want to spend even a second of the time I have left on this earth without you, but I have a six-year-old at home, so I have to give her some time to become used to you and not just the town’s doctor or the lady that has her dad smiling in all the photos she dug up from my garage.”

  “You have our old photos?” I was surprised. I knew when we had ended that my grandmother did as I asked and returned all the photos of us to him.

  Well, I thought she did, until I found a bunch of them at the bottom of the box.

  “Focus, baby.” He shook me a little, a familiar one-sided smile making an appearance on his face.

  When I nodded, he continued, “So, we’ll give her this Christmas, but by the second one we’ll all be under one roof. She will also know from tomorrow morning that you’re special to me, as in the woman who’s got Daddy’s heart as much as he does hers. We’ll try to answer all her questions, but knowing my girl, she’ll just go with the flow.”

  I said nothing. I kept looking at him. My heart beating a mile a minute. The hope that started flickering when he first came in, now was an inferno.

  “You with me?” he asked me again.

  Again, I just nodded.

  “I love you, Sophie. I never stopped. And I know you love me. I want all those things we dreamt about seventeen years ago. I was an idiot for ever letting you go. I was a bigger one not to see you suffering when I came to Boston. I need to remedy that. We’ll have enough time to hash through the years we spent apart. We don’t need to get to know each other, because bottom line, we never stopped knowing each other. And I’m sorry, baby, but if you want to continue with your career as a surgeon, you’ll have to find a hospital that’s close. I can’t move Zara all the way to Seattle.”

  “You don’t ever have to worry about that,” I said hurriedly.

  “What?”

  “I have privileges in Denver, something like a part-time job. When I decided to stay here, I knew I could never give up surgery. It’s in my blood, it’s a part of me. Anyway—” I shook my head to clear it. “I got everything I wanted. That’s why I accepted the position of a town’s doctor. I had the time and I’m used to working long hours. So, even if I want more free time and normalcy, I’m still me. And I need to work.”

  He didn’t say anything to that, just watched me without blinking.

  “And I still have privileges in Seattle. I can go in and get in the OR whenever I want.”

  I was scared of bringing it up, but if we want this to work, he needed to know everything.

  “In fact, I still have my place there. And I have to go in to see a patient of mine. It’s a little girl, Dylan. I can’t just leave her behind,” I rambled. He still didn’t utter a word. “And my best friend lives there. I want you to meet her.”

  Silence.

  I rushed to explain. “What I’m trying to say, or ask really, are you at least open to go with me for a visit?” I asked in a small voice.

  “Fuck, you’re adorable,” he muttered before he kissed.

  I took that as a yes.

  “One more thing, baby,” Dylan said casually, putting on his coat because he had to go home and take care of his daughter.

  He also had a friend visiting who he had been neglecting for the last three days.

  “What?” I smiled. I couldn’t help it. Over the days, he entered the power-on phase of our relationship and he wasn’t lying when he said we were going to go fast.

  We had two dinners that included Zara.

  I had a blast.

  She was so adorable I fell more in love with her the moment she walked through my door.

  I also got to wear a pointy hat.

  And over the top dress.

  “Next time we’ll dress up as princesses,” Zara said as her way of saying goodbye last night. I already ordered our tiaras online.

  I was just as excited as she was.

  “You’re also going to wear my ring. And baby, I still want us to have that baby we dreamt about. We’re not young, but we still have time, so there’s no rush. When you think it’s the right time to start trying, when you’re secure enough in us, you come and tell me and we’ll get right on that.” He looked at me, sighed, and kissed me. “So that’s where we’re at. I’m here, you’re here and as soon as we can manage it, that here will become the same place. As in the same house. So, this is where we’re at. Now, Sophie, are you still with me?”

  He barely finished his question before I answered, “Yes.”

  Epilogue

  Sophie

  One year later

  “But you have to be sure it’s the right moon before you do it.” I came in the living room to hear the last words that Mrs. McConnell said to Zara’s astonished face.

  “And how will I know if it’s the right moon?” she asked. Thankfully, she grew out of her shrieking phase.

  “I’ll teach you.” Mrs. McConnell touched the tip of Zara’s nose with her index finger. “You also have to do it when it’s the right time, otherwise it won’t come true.”

  “How will I know it’s the right time?” Zara’s eyes were now big. I could tell the signs of her getting frustrated now.

  After almost a year of living with her, I learned how to tell all the signs of her quickly changing moods.

  I smiled a soft smile at them, then looked around the living room. The tree was done, the last ornament placed in its place.

  And the steaming cups of hot chocolate sat on the coffee table, waiting to be cool enough so we could start drinking them.

  I loved every second of it, it was a blast.

  It was almost as I imagined it.

  My Hallmark scene.

  The slight difference was, I was the one sitting in the armchair, bossing everyone around and telling them where I wanted what as I was seven months pregnant and couldn’t stand longer than five minutes. Those five minutes were spent walking to and from the bathroom.

  It was a little confusing for Zara the fact that I suddenly became a woman who was someone important to her dad. But she did as Dylan said she would. She went right with the flow.

  It
helped that Vivian was staying with them and was able to explain the things neither Dylan nor I could since she didn’t ask us.

  After Christmas, we tried with sleepovers. She didn’t bat an eyelid when she saw me that first morning standing in the kitchen making breakfast. The fact that I took her shopping or taught her how to bake or helped with her homework or did her hair and did dress-up with her probably helped.

  Dylan said I had her wrapped around my finger.

  It was the other way around.

  Two weeks after that first sleepover they moved into my house.

  We waited for some kind of tantrum from Zara, it was all moving quickly, but it never came.

  Dylan said she missed her mom and was probably just smitten she had one now.

  We never heard a word from her mom. Dylan would call her sometimes, giving her updates on her child, but she had never shown any interest. After all that calling and begging Dylan to give her a chance, she never took him up on any of the offers he extended. I knew he was ready to give up on her, but I urged him to keep trying.

  It was heart-wrenching knowing there was a woman who would never get to know how amazing her child was.

  I did my best to never give Zara a reason to miss her. It wasn’t hard to do as she was a really good kid.

  “Are you ready?” Dylan came into the living room asking the question for the fifth time, trying to get us to move on and go to the decorating of the well ceremony.

  It was cold and my feet hurt. An arm wrapped around from behind me, pulling me back.

  I came in contact with a solid wall of muscle, a scent of forest that still clung to his body from that morning when he went to cut our tree, enveloping me. “Just a little bit longer, baby,” Dylan murmured in my ear. His gloved hand came to lay on top of my big belly.

  “It’s okay, I can make it.” I turned my head to say into his ear so he could hear me and pecked the soft skin behind his ear as I finished.

  He didn’t say anything he chuckled in response because he knew I was full of it. I needed our couch. Or bed.

  The bed would be better because then he could wrap his whole body around me, and make me feel safe, cherished.

  Mrs. McConnell came up to me holding a pot. The Christmas flower. It was time to put on the finishing touch.

  No matter how many times I got to see this in my life, it would never lose the touch of magic.

  It would never fall short of dazzling me, of reinforcing the fact I’m finally home.

  I took the flower from her, smiling gratefully.

  I couldn’t believe it when she informed me I was again picked to do it this year.

  I was sure she schemed for me to do it the last time.

  Turned out the town wanted to continue with its tradition and that meant for me to do it as I was my grandmother’s child.

  “How will I know it’s the right time?” Zara repeated her question from beside me. She didn’t get the answer when she first asked.

  I leaned down to her. “When it’s the right time, you’ll know,” I said, caressing her cheek then taking her hand in mine.

  Walking slowly toward the well I remembered the rushing feeling of all my emotions pouring in at once. The loneliness of the one that stood out. The need to belong so strong I thought I couldn’t take another breath before it came true. One could say I got my wish, another that I didn’t even have to wish it as I already belonged to the man of my dreams.

  I was glad I had an explanation for Mrs. McConnell’s strange behavior that night.

  And she was right, I forgot.

  I forgot the magic that was this place and that well.

  One thing I didn’t forget was the love I felt.

  And now I never would.

  Stepping up to the stoop, I pulled Zara up with me, and just as I put the pot in the bucket in the nest of twinkly lights, I looked back to her and said, “Besides, I will tell you.”

  “Okay.” She gave me her signature toothy smile and ran off to play with her friends. I watched her run away, silently thanking the moon that I got my wish.

  “She better not come near that well for at least thirty years,” Dylan muttered in the dark.

  We were in our bed, his naked body wrapped around mine, which was also naked. His fingertips ghosting on my sensitive skin evoking goose bumps to come out.

  “Are you worried she would elope soon?” I chuckled.

  “Look what happened after you made a wish near that well,” he said as an explanation.

  I turned in his arms, looking up at his shadowy face. “Do you really think that the wish and the well was what made you mine?”

  As much as romantic and magic as it sounded, I didn’t believe in all that.

  “No, you were already mine and I yours.” He touched his forehead to mine. “I just don’t want her to get any ideas in her head.”

  I squeezed my arms around him. “Don’t worry, I tell her over and over again not to go near that well, especially at night.” Just as my grandmother did to me.

  Until I forgot.

  Until I was ready to do it.

  Until what my heart desired wasn’t already mine, I just didn’t know it yet then.

  He rolled me to my back, his body focused to my side, his head hovering over mine. “You do that.”

  And he kissed me. And did other, even better things to me.

  In the middle of the town called Hopeful stood an old well.

  It was lit with white Christmas lights. And in the nest of them in a steel bucket one of the lights, just under the Christmas flower pot, got extremely bright spilling its twinkle to all the others. One by one, the lights got more strength. Until it seemed that the whole well shimmered.

  Just when the first snowflake fell, touching the old stone that lay on the ground just at the edge of the well made of stones, a woman stood next to it, her hands caressing the wood. She looked in the direction of the mountains, her eyes glassy, her lips saying something only the well could hear.

  And Mrs. McConnell knew she just made a wish.

  It would be granted, of course. Because it was already hers, she just didn’t know it yet.

  Slowly, the same as she did countless times before, she went to the girl. Just as the feeling and longing drained her, Grace caught her in her arms. And in her hair, she muttered, “You did good, girl.”

  Then she took her under her arm and Grace McConnell walked with the desperate woman home, listening to her sad story.

  All the while knowing her life was going to change in the best of the ways.

  Because she just opened herself to love and magic that came along with it.

  And she would be thankful to the stone that stood in the ground that had nothing to do with it at all.

  The End

  Acknowledgments

  Here we are again, the worst part of writing a book.

  I hope I don’t forget anyone, but if I do… Thank you!

  First up, Sue John… Woman, you’re unbelievable! The way you came through for me and read this book as I typed it up (sometimes even had to wait ‘till I was done with the chapter) is incredible. To say thank you is a devastating understatement, but it’s all I have. So, thank you.

  Ellie… the words cannot express how grateful I am for everything. The level of your compassion and willingness to help me is something I never ever experienced. I know working with me is hell because I break all deadlines I set up myself… repeatedly. And that’s something that’s slowly but surely becoming a rule. But you just went along with it, not batting an eye. Thank you for editing my book. And thank you for having so much patience with all my crazy. Thank you!

  Zulfa Cupido, woman, you leave me in awe every single day. The way you take care of me, have patience with me, keep reminding me of stuff for the fiftieth time because you know I forgot… You should be given sainthood for that. Not to mention, your firm belief in me… It leaves me breathless. I hope I give just a little bit of it back. Thank you.

  Tracy… I sai
d thank you to you so many times now, the words are starting to lose their shine. So, I will say this, and know I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I love you. Thank you!

  Lynn, Becks, Maria… You rock! Thank you.

  To my husband and son, you boys are my everything. Thank you.

  And to each and every reader that gives my books a chance… From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

  About the Author

  Ana Balen was born in Zagreb, Croatia, where she still lives with her husband, their son (read boss!), and the son’s pet rabbit named Shhh! (or some other gibberish that’s the favorite of their son for the day.) that recently got a roommate, Jack Russel Terrier, named Nemo.

  She spends her days driving her husband up the wall (when he can’t get her ass up from the bed in the mornings), reading and daydreaming, or following orders from a four-year-old. In the hectic life she leads (and loves every second of it), she never thought about writing. But then, one day, a name popped in her head, then, the snippets of things, and she sat down and started typing. Next thing, she wrote a book. And now, she’s trying to write another one