The other three caught up in no time, each with an unbelievable expression on their face.
“What do you think you’re doing, Rekka?!”
“Aargh! Move it already, Iris!”
Satsuki screamed at me and Rosalind forcefully pulled Iris off of me.
“Good grief, this girl! Just how far will you go before you’ve had enough?!”
“Hmph! All I’m doing is acting true to my feelings. Unlike some people who are still stubbornly in denial.”
“Hey! Just who are you referring to?!” Satsuki demanded.
“Well, from my point of view, all three of you tried to get a head start on everyone else... Now, what do we do from here?” asked Shirley.
They say it takes two to tango, but I have no idea what the four of them turned this into. Girls will be girls... I guess?
“Hahh... Good grief.”
“I don’t think you have the right to be saying that, Rekka.”
Shut up. Let me blow off some stress somehow. I’d been jerked around by these girls all day.
“Yes, aaah! That’s it!”
Rachelle circled us, her body writhing... Her movements should have been erotic, but for some reason, they didn’t feel that way at all. Was it because she was that stupid? Honestly, everything I’d been through today was her fault, including falling into this tent. I was pretty stunned I wasn’t any worse for wear on that, actually.
“Uuurghh...”
“Hm?”
Just now... Was that sound coming from below me?
“Aaaaah!”
Not a moment later, a high-pitched scream from an unfamiliar third party pierced all our eardrums. When I turned towards the source, I saw a strangely tired-looking girl—she was short, but she seemed to be older than me—frozen in a pose not unlike Munch’s The Scream.
“Whaaat do you think you’re doing to my staff tent?!”
Staff tent? I suddenly had a bad feeling about this. I fearfully peeled back the edge of the collapsed tent I was sitting on to see what was below me... and spied a rugged, aging man wearing a rather cool outfit. Looking a bit squashed, he was weakly twitching.
Chapter 3: Heroine Audition
We were all apologetically sitting on our knees before the tired-looking girl we’d just met—Zeta.
“All right, you damn brats... What are you going to do about this, huh?!”
Zeta glared down at us while tapping her megaphone against her shoulder. She was so mad, I swear I could see the veins protruding from her forehead. She packed a lot of punch for such a small person. Scary.
The reason for all this, of course, was the fact that we fell on and demolished her tent... and the guy inside.
“U-Um... how’s the old man from before doing?”
Despite my fear of Zeta’s wrath, I couldn’t help asking out of concern.
“Hahh... You can rest easy. At the very least, he’s not as bad as you’re probably imagining right now.”
“Oh, that’s g—”
I was just about to sigh in relief, but...
“It still leaves me in a terrible position.”
She didn’t sound any less angry. The tone in her voice alone made me sit bolt upright.
“He was the star of my live-action superhero show. The main character!”
“Live-action superhero show?”
As in, the kind with costumed heroes and big ole monsters fighting each other? She said something about staff earlier... I guess she meant the camera crew and the cast?
“Wait, your star is some grandpa?”
“I’ll have you know he’s a soldier from a species that specializes in combat. He’s easily five times stronger than you, boy.”
“You don’t say...”
“That’s why being knocked down by two brats shouldn’t have affected him under normal circumstances, but...”
“But?”
“He threw out his back just now.”
“Ah...”
So, even combat species are just like the rest of us when it comes to fighting old age, huh? Anyway... I had to get my head on straight. This was no laughing matter. Being down a main character was obviously a big deal for a show.
“See, now I’m in a real bind. The filming has to be done today.”
“That sucks... I’m really sorry. I’ll to do anything I can to help out.”
“Damn right you will! I’ll have you fill in for the role you vacated!” she snapped back instantly, making me shoot upright once more.
“Wait, you want me to fill in for someone?”
“You heard me! You’ll be the stand-in for the main character, Galactic Great.”
“What?!”
“You said you’d do anything.”
I did, but this was a little over the top...
“D-Don’t you think me standing in for the star of the show is a bit of a stretch...?”
“I don’t have time to search for a real replacement. Do you really think I want to be asking an amateur like you?” Zeta let out a long, deep, pained sigh. “Listen, the fate of my company is riding on this new series. I can’t just let it fall flat because we hit a speed bump here. The show must go on, you know?”
So apparently I didn’t just take out a main character... I took out a really important one. I could physically feel the guilt weighing on me.
“And... you absolutely have to film today, of all days?”
“That’s right.”
“All right, I’ll do it. I’ll be his stand-in.”
“Hmph...” Zeta looked me right in the eye and scoffed a little. “You know, you’re pretty decent for a brat. Seems like you’ve got some real gumption. What’s your name?”
“Rekka Namidare.”
“All right, follow me, Rekka. You ladies over there can come, too.”
I meekly trailed after Zeta’s brisk footsteps. She led us over to a tent—one I hadn’t crushed—and gestured for us to follow her inside. She then handed me the rather cool-looking costume the old man had been wearing earlier.
“Change into this.”
“Is this going to fit me?”
“It’s self-sizing.”
While I wasn’t sure what she meant, I decided to give it a try. And once I put it on, the oversized costume shrunk in the blink of an eye, adjusting down to size for me. It wasn’t too tight, either. It was as snug as could be, but still comfortable.
“Wow, so it automatically adjusts to the wearer?”
“It was custom made to do just that.”
“Man... space technology is something,” I said in awe.
But Zeta simply crossed her arms and groaned.
“It doesn’t look right...” she muttered.
She didn’t have to be so blatantly disappointed...
“Well, whatever. Your face’ll be covered during the real thing anyway.”
“It will?”
“Try pressing the button on the back of your neck.”
“Erm... This one?”
I blindly groped around for said button with my hand and gave it a press when I found it. A helmet with a visor like a motorbike helmet extended up from the back and wrapped around my head. Like the rest of the outfit, it automatically adjusted its size to fit me.
“Space technology really is amazing...”
I knocked on the helmet to see what it was made out of, and a sturdy sound echoed inside. How was something like this hidden in the suit in the first place? Despite my head literally being in it, I couldn’t get my head around it.
“Good. With this, your unfortunate features will no longer be a problem.”
“...”
“Now, next is...”
Completely indifferent to hurting my feelings, Zeta moved right along. She turned to Satsuki, Iris, Rosalind, and Shirley.
“One of you ladies will have to take on the role of the main heroine, Galactic Beauty.”
“Huh?” they collectively replied.
They’d been following along with what was happening so far, but now it w
as their turn to get a taste of what I was going through. Zeta’s declaration had clearly thrown them all for a loop.
“Um, what do you mean?” Satsuki asked, raising her hand hesitantly.
Zeta tapped her megaphone against her shoulder and replied, “This series—which is actually the second season of a series we’ve done before—introduces a totally new element: a male-female hero duo. The female role originally belonged to gramps’s wife. They’re lovebirds through and through, which is great for their dynamic and bad for me. She’s insisting on nursing her husband for the duration of his recovery... Which means, ladies, that the role is now open. If one of you could fill in for her—”
“I will.”
“I’ll do it!”
“Allow me.”
“I’d also be willing.”
All four girls responded at once.
“Huh? O-Oh...”
Zeta was taken aback by them all interrupting her to volunteer. She probably hadn’t imagined they’d be so enthusiastic about it. To be honest, I was bewildered, too. Why were they so eager?
“Oh, my, are all the heroines fighting over the role of the main heroine? This’ll be interesting.”
“Ahhh, yes! Even more love energy!”
R and Rachelle were the only ones watching on in amusement from the sidelines.
▽
Despite the fact that there were four girls ready and willing to take the part, there was only one role to fill. There had to be some way to determine who would get it.
“I’d like give you ladies a little test,” said Zeta, tapping her megaphone against her shoulder.
The girls all responded with ready enthusiasm. Even from where I was standing a little ways away, I could see the glint in their eyes. They were all dead serious about this.
“I never imagined Satsuki or Rosalind volunteering themselves for a live-action superhero show...”
“You know, Rekka, sometimes I wonder if your brain works like someone trying to play a tile-matching puzzle game with the controller upside down—the falling pieces just pile up into one giant mess.”
It was true that my thoughts kinda stacked up against me sometimes, but that was just plain mean.
“Well, Zeta’s story seems pretty difficult to fix, so you’d better get to practicing your lines.”
“What? Zeta’s a heroine?”
“You didn’t realize? Then why did you accept the role of the main character?”
“Because it was my fault the old man threw out his back, and she said the fate of her company was on the line... Wait, does that mean it’s my fault her story’s headed for a bad end?”
Watching me scratch my head, R sighed.
“Well, there’s no guarantee her company would’ve been saved if gramps had starred in the show, so regardless of what triggered Zeta’s story, all you need to do is focus on resolving it. Get the happy ending, just like you always do,” she said, sounding rather supportive for once.
And she was right. Even if I felt guilty about what’d happened, it didn’t change the fact that I needed to move forward and help fix it. That was my job—perhaps more so this time than ever. Yes.
“Heh heh heh... That’s love for you...”
As I reaffirmed my resolution, Rachelle was standing there next to me with a creepy smile on her face.
“Rachelle.”
“Yes? What is it, Rekka?”
“You’re drooling.”
“Hwah?! P-Pardon me.”
Rachelle blushed as she frantically wiped off her mouth.
“You said you came to me because you were low on love energy, right?”
“Yes, that is correct.”
“You’ve been kinda lively for a while now. Does that mean your love energy has replenished?”
If so, it would at least mean there was no longer a need to worry about flirting or anything in front of her.
“Sure enough. I’m as full as I have been in a long time!”
“Really? Then...”
“Ah! But you know, I’m actually still quite hungry! I’m only 30—no, 20 percent full! At this rate, I’ll collapse again by tomorrow! Really!” she swore while gesturing wildly.
I was pretty sure she’d changed her story more than once there just over the course of a couple of sentences... But whatever. She wasn’t my biggest problem right now.
“Then I guess I’ll help you for a little longer.”
“Thank you very much! I can’t believe you’d even help out a huge pain in the butt like me... You really are a nice person, Rekka!”
At least she was self-aware...
“No, with the amount of love energy that swirls around you... To me, you’re much more than just a nice person! You’re a god! An almighty god!”
“Aren’t you an angel?”
Pretty sure angels are the last people who should be going around declaring new gods like that.
“Oh, I am... But if I could feast on this kind of love energy every single day, I would gladly follow you from this day onward as your humble servant! You, my one and only god!” she proclaimed, flapping her wings and slinking closer to me like a cat.
Today had been a weird day already, but now I’d just heard an angel announce a change of religion in the most cheerful, carefree, and casual way imaginable. From the instant she showed up, she’d been breaking down all my preconceptions of angels, one after another...
“Hey, you perverted angel! What are you doing getting so close to Rekka?!”
Rosalind, who had been listening carefully to Zeta’s explanation, suddenly caught on to Rachelle’s antics and demanded an explanation.
“Oh, yes! Ahh, even stronger love energy is flowing into me... Mm...”
But... Rachelle only seemed to enjoy getting yelled at even more. She was squirming in ecstasy. Was she a masochist or something? Rosalind started to storm over, but Zeta grabbed her by the back of the collar with one hand.
“There’s no time for distractions. We have to get this show on the road. Or are you out of the running already?”
“Grr...! No, I’ll do it!”
“All right, then let’s begin the test.”
Zeta clapped her hands together and looked at all the girls’ faces in turn. Come to think of it, what was this test going to be? I’d missed the explanation while I was talking to Rachelle.
“Now, take out the scripts I gave you earlier. One at a time, I want you to act out the scene on page three. First... You there with the dark hair.”
“I’m Satsuki.”
“Then you’re up first, Satsuki. Once you’re done, it’ll be the short blondie next to you.”
“For starters, my name is Rosalind! And who are you calling short, little lady?! You’re not that much taller than me!”
Rosalind was roaring at her, but Zeta didn’t even react.
“All right, give it a go,” she said, turning her attention back to Satsuki.
“Okay, um...” Satsuki flipped open her script with a nervous look on her face... and blushed for some reason. “U-Um, do I really have to say this?”
“What? Of course. But it’s the heroine’s intro speech, so maybe try shouting it rather than saying it.”
“B-But...”
“If you’re embarrassed, then you don’t have to do it. Not everyone’s cut out to be an actress, and we’ve got three others waiting in line. Twin tails over there in particular looks raring to go,” Zeta said, pointing at Iris.
“You bet I am! And my name is Iris!”
She did look particularly energetic, standing there fidgeting as she answered excitedly. I guess of all the girls, Iris seemed most like the type who’d be into superhero shows. And Zeta seemed to acknowledge her passion, nodding in approval.
“Wait! I-I’ll do it! Please give me a chance!”
Their conversation made Satsuki’s expression flip in a panic. She looked at her script once more and closed her eyes. She was probably reciting the words she’d just memorized in her head. She then o
pened her eyes and took a deep breath.
“I... I am Galactic Beauty! You who threaten the peace of the galaxy, I will punish you in the name of the Great Andromeda Galaxy!” Satsuki yelled out the heroine’s introduction with all her might... and immediately turned bright red.
Yeah... Satsuki never really liked standing out, so this kind of flashy performance probably wasn’t up her alley.
“One more time.”
“I am...!”
Prompted by Zeta, Satsuki repeated the lines a second time. Evidently Zeta was all about business. She had no consideration for how an auditionee was feeling. They were either capable or they weren’t, and she watched carefully to determine that. Satsuki also seemed to realize this as she slowly shook off her shyness and began to get into the role more.
“I am Galactic Beauty! You who threaten the peace of the galaxy, I will punish you in the name of the Great Andromeda Galaxy!”
“Okay, next. You’re up, Rosalind.”
“V-Very well... Behold.”
Rosalind also seemed shy—or rather, somewhat reluctant. But nevertheless, she recited the lines in a clear, beautiful voice.
“Now it’s my turn! Here I go!”
I think Iris’s acting was the most energetic and lively, and in that sense, probably the most cut out for the role.
“Being the last one makes me rather nervous. I’m Shirley. Pleased to meet you.”
Shirley’s reading was perfect. Too perfect, honestly, which meant it wasn’t really either bad or good.
“In matters like this, it’s best to pick someone whose personality suits the role.”
“Yup.”
It was rare that I agreed with R, but just as I was thinking that... I realized Rachelle had disappeared from beside me.
“Huh? Where’s Rachelle?”
“She’s over there.”
R pointed over to Zeta, who was standing there with her arms crossed as Rachelle snuck up behind her. Just what was she up to...? Rachelle tapped Zeta on the shoulder and started whispering into her ear when she turned around.
“Hmm. Good idea. Let’s go with that.” Zeta nodded and turned to me. “Hey, you. Come over here for a minute.”
“Yes?”
I walked over to Zeta when she called, and she handed me a script.
“I’m going to check your acting, too. Read your lines and introduce yourself, just like the ladies did.”
I Saved Too Many Girls and Caused the Apocalypse: Volume 10 Page 5