“That’s a rumor. You don’t know what happened. No one does,” Rayelle says.
My ears perk up. “What are you talking about?” I busy myself slicing my steak, pretending I’m not that interested.
“Garrett was Faye’s assistant in last year’s Initiation Heist, and something went wrong,” Rayelle whispers. “It was bad. They almost didn’t complete their mission.”
“Most people think they were hooking up and lost track of time,” Sophia says.
“This was pre-Chloe, of course,” Stewart says. “It’ll be interesting to see who Garrett picks this year. Chloe’s the obvious choice, but after last year maybe he’ll play it safe, pick someone who won’t be a distraction—”
“Rumor has it you passed Weiss’s handcuff test in record time,” an amused voice says from behind me. I flinch, heat surging to my cheeks at the thought that he might have heard us talking at the same time goose bumps shoot up my arms. My insides immediately buzz.
Rayelle and Sophia snap to attention, and Stewart has the good sense to shut up.
Garrett towers above me with Chloe draped over his shoulder. I glance around to see if he means someone else, but his eyes are on me.
“I guess…”
“Looks like you have competition.” He nudges Chloe.
She frowns. “She got lucky with Weiss. I heard Allard has been tutoring her—she probably knew what was coming. But nobody knows what’s on the obstacle course. She won’t be able to cheat next time.”
My jaw twitches, and I square my shoulders. “I didn’t cheat, but I’m sorry you’re so insecure you can’t handle another girl succeeding.”
Stewart almost spits out his salmon.
Instead of dignifying me with a response, Chloe curls closer to Garrett, tugging on his collar. “Why are we wasting our time with these hacks? Let’s go.”
He allows himself to be pulled away, but not before smiling at me and saying, “Nice, Ellie.”
“Elisha,” I correct him.
Pressing his lips together in a smirk, he walks off. As soon as he’s gone, the energy fizzing in my spine disappears.
“I’d rather be a hacker than a decoy,” Stewart mutters.
“What was that about?” Rayelle squeaks.
“I don’t know,” I say. “They have it out for me. I think it’s because I’m new.”
The three of them look at one another, biting their lips.
“I don’t know what you all see in him, anyway,” I say.
“Did you see the same boy we saw?” Stewart asks. “Because the boy we saw is seriously fine.”
“Yes, he’s cute—” I say.
“Cute?” Stewart says. “Nobody would call him cute. Puppies are cute. A hamster wearing a top hat and bow tie is cute.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine. He’s hot.”
Stewart’s fingers curl, gesturing for me to give him more.
“Hotter than hot. Like surface of the sun hot,” I say, my cheeks on fire. “Caliente.”
“Cali-what-now?” Stewart laughs.
“As hot as my face is red,” I say.
“Oooh. Yeah,” Stewart says. “That’s hot.”
We all bust out in giggles, and I throw a French fry at him, warmth spreading through me. I don’t remember the last time I laughed with friends.
“I meant it seems like he’s trapped under Chloe’s thumb,” I say as my laughter subsides.
“Never,” Sophia says. “You’ll see. He’ll dump her as soon as he gets officially initiated and leaves Keystone. He’s a guy, and she’s probably fun for now.”
“Being a guy isn’t an excuse,” I reply.
“I don’t know how he can stand her. She’s the worst,” Rayelle says, pushing her food around her plate.
I raise my eyebrows. Even though I’ve only known her a week, it’s unlike her to put anyone down.
“Nobody remembers,” Sophia says, placing a hand on Rayelle’s arm. “It’s ancient history.”
“History never dies in this place, remember?” Rayelle says, turning to me. “Last year, Chloe spread a rumor that I got so drunk at the Into the Woods party I passed out and wet my pants—which is totally untrue—but it stuck. I shouldn’t care, but it still makes me mad. Why would she say that? It’s not like I’m anything to her.”
The hurt in Rayelle’s eyes cuts right through me. “She must be jealous,” I say. “Maybe you are competition for her. Maybe flexibility is her weakness.”
“Poor Garrett,” Sophia says.
We burst into laughter again.
“No matter what, you have to beat Chloe in the obstacle course, Elisha,” Stewart says. “She’s totally afraid of you. Can you imagine the look on her face if she lost to a nobody?” He claps his hands before squeezing my shoulder. “No offense.”
“None taken.” I hold back a smile. “Besides. There’s no chance of me winning. I’m so behind.”
“But Allard is helping you,” Sophia says. “That must count for something.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head. “I’m learning what you all learned when you were five. There’s no way I’m going to be in the top four.”
“You’re probably right,” Stewart says slowly. Then his eyes light up. “Maybe I’ll win.”
“You do that,” I say.
“And who will you pick for your partner, Stewart?” Rayelle asks.
“Garrett, obviously. He’s the only choice.”
“You could definitely learn from him,” Sophia says. “Have you ever thought about doing some push-ups?” She taps one of his skinny arms.
“Ew. No. The boys like me wiry.”
We all groan.
“No. They don’t.” Sophia laughs, turning to Rayelle. “Who would you pick?”
“Probably Kyran.”
“Kyran? Really?” Sophia says, though I’m not surprised.
“He’s just so…interesting.” Rayelle blushes. “What about you, Elisha?”
“Me? No one. I pick no one.” I imagine myself standing in the Lodge with everyone staring at me while I choose. There’s no way I want to draw that much attention to myself. “If we don’t win the Quest, they pair us up with someone anyway, right?”
“Yes. But you could get stuck with Liam,” Stewart says.
“Ugh.” I frown. “That’s enough to make me work on my escape moves, but it’s a risk I have to take. There’s no way I’m going to win. I’ll be lucky if I don’t get sent to the Farm.”
“We won’t let that happen,” Rayelle says. “Promise.”
“Yeah, if you ever need help or have questions, just ask us,” Stewart says.
“Actually, I do have a question.” I scan their faces, wondering how dumb I’m going to sound. “Liam said something the other day about a ‘Super Brain’? What is that?”
Their smiles falter.
“We’ll let you field this one, Stewart,” Sophia says.
He takes a deep breath, his fingers drumming on the table. “Basically, you know how President Madden is implementing her plan for world peace, right?”
“Yes, everyone loves her,” I say. “She wants to bring people together—Corporates, Influencers, Laborers, Unrankables—no more labels. We’ll all be equal. Isn’t that what we want, too?”
“Not exactly.” He wrinkles his nose. “That all sounds great in theory—she knows what people want to hear—but everyone, except the Disconnects, already voluntarily use tech that allows every move to be tracked. And soon her messaging will suggest everyone should voluntarily put computer chips in their brains and upload their minds to a database—the Super Brain—that will connect them to the internet, too. It’ll sound like a good idea. Who wouldn’t want access to all of human knowledge? To think a question and instantly get the answer? Nobody will be smarter than anyone else. We’ll all be equa
l, part of the collective world consciousness.”
“The thing is,” Sophia jumps in. “The information in the Super Brain is being chosen by the Corporates to build the society they want to live in. They’re rewriting history to create an artificially-intelligent simulation where robots will do all the work and we’ll play all day. Any experience we want will be virtually at our fingertips. Criminal urges and what they call the ‘ugly past’ will have been erased from memory.”
“And all of that will come at the expense of emotions and free will,” Rayelle says. “We won’t feel anger or love or excitement. We’ll be apathetic puppets on her peace playground.”
“I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to get gobbled up by the Super Brain, I’d at least like to know it has its facts straight,” Stewart says.
“We don’t have to get gobbled up, though, do we?” I ask.
“Not if we do our jobs. The only thing standing in the way is the Disconnects. The Unrankables will chip their minds in a heartbeat at the promise of prosperity. Keep people hungry, and they’ll do anything for a handout.” He shrugs. “We’re pretty much the only ones who can save human life as we know it.”
My mouth hangs open. “I can’t even begin to process this.”
“It’s a doozy,” Stewart agrees. “But you asked.”
The Atrium lights dim, signaling lunch break is ending and everyone stands.
“I’ve got Code Breaking, so I’ve got to run,” he says, taking his tray to the compost bins. “But I’ll explain more later.”
“The point is, we need all the help we can get,” Sophia says, matching steps with me as we head to Forgery class. “So, let’s keep you off that farm.”
“I’ll do my best,” I say, uncertain if my best will be good enough. Though I definitely prefer the Farm to the Super Brain…
Chapter Ten
October 20X5, Keystone
I bang on Allard’s door, announcing my presence before letting myself in. “I’m here!”
“Elisha? Is that you?” she calls from the kitchen.
“Yes!”
Some old-timey music plays on the turntable, and I half expect her to appear wearing a vintage Dior dress borrowed from the replica of the Victoria and Albert Museum’s costume collection in the Vault. They have clothes that are hundreds of years old down there and an entire wing dedicated to disguises that we can borrow. It’s one of my favorite places to hang out.
“Have a seat. I’ll be right out,” she says.
Sinking onto the tweed couch, I pick up her coffee-table book, absently flipping through photographs of Frank Lloyd Wright–designed houses, wondering why she so urgently summoned me here. I’m reading about Fallingwater when I notice indentations left from handwriting in the margin. I try to make them out.
Safety in stone—
“Are you ready to get to work?” The kitchen door swings open, and she appears, wearing a white lab coat, her red hair clasped in an array of wispy tendrils that refuse to stay in place. She’s the complete opposite of what I imagined, and I bite back a laugh. You can take the girl out of Hollywood…
“What are we studying tonight? Code breaking?” I ask.
“I thought we’d work on intuition,” she replies. “How’s journaling going?”
I grimace. “It’s not exactly fun…”
The corners of her mouth turn down, and she nods. “Dredging up the past is hard, but I truly believe it will be worth it in the end.”
“I hope so.” The terrible things I have left to record flash through my mind, filling me with dread.
Taking a seat next to me, she rests her elbow on the back of the couch and cocks her head to the side. “Let’s try an exercise on first impressions. What did you think the very first time you saw me? What’s the first word that comes to mind?”
I think back to that day at the Anonymous pub. “Dangerous. I wanted to run.”
“And rightly so. I was a threat to everything you knew—to the life you led.”
“But then you started talking, and I felt better. I was mesmerized.”
“I’d say our friendship worked out. Wouldn’t you?”
“Yes.” I nod.
“So, your instincts were correct. Let’s try another one. How about Garrett? First impression.”
My stomach drops in embarrassment. “I don’t want to answer that.”
She laughs. “Pretty please?” She bats her eyelashes. “I promise there’s a point to this.”
Rolling my eyes, I sigh. I wanted to collapse at his feet. “It was weird. It seemed like the lights glowed brighter, and the air was humming, and I wanted him to notice me. But the second time it was like I needed him, like I wanted to use him. I turned into the old me. It can’t be right.”
“Interesting,” she says, opening a notebook and jotting something down. “I think you are right. Garrett operates at a higher frequency than most people. You felt that. He has a knack for attracting the tools necessary for him to succeed. It might just be that he needs you.”
“I doubt that.”
“Well, doubt is what we’re here to work on.” She smiles.
Still skeptical, I shake my head.
“Maybe it wasn’t the ‘old you’ you were glimpsing, but the ‘new you.’ The confident you,” she continues. “The you who is so steadfast in your calling to reveal and preserve what you know is truth you’ll do whatever it takes. When you get into the field, it will be necessary for you to deceive others—to make them believe you’re one of them—and you can’t do that until you believe in yourself—until you know that what you stand for is right and good. Until you trust your instincts.”
“It sounds impossible.” I squint into the last of the golden light glinting off the river.
“It’s not. I promise.” Rising, she draws the curtains against the setting sun. “Let’s work on forgiving who you were raised to be. It’s okay to admit you come from a less-informed place. You’re growing and learning. It’s a process. Stop beating yourself up. Are you willing to try something with me?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not really.”
“Go for it, then.” I shrug.
She rejoins me on the couch. “Close your eyes and think of a time you were unfair to someone. Start with something insignificant. You can work your way up to the bigger things.”
“Okay.” Taking a deep breath, I remember a day on the Boulevard. Lily and I walk up to our bistro table, where a skinny freshman girl with bad skin is sitting alone, eating a sandwich. She emanates a loneliness so deep my chest aches. Remembering nights as a kid when I was left at home with nannies and robots while my parents were vacationing for weeks on end—when I felt invisible and unwanted—I want to be kind to her. But Lily is watching, and I need to prove myself. Eat or be eaten.
“You’re in my seat,” I say, injecting ice into my voice.
The girl looks up. “I’m sorry?”
“You’re in my seat. This is our table. You can’t sit here.” My hands tremble, but I persist.
“It’s a free world.” She tries to look tough, but her lips wobble. My heart screams for me to end its aching, for an act of kindness, but I silence it.
“Do you know who we are?” Lil asks, having no time for someone who doesn’t instantly acknowledge her clout. “You’re about to find out.” Deena, Kylie, and Jaxon file in behind us, and fear creeps into the girl’s eyes. Everyone on the Boulevard is watching.
“This is our table,” Deena says. “You need to leave.”
The girl still refuses to budge—whether it’s out of pride or fear, I don’t know. But Jax makes the next move, sitting next to her, his thigh touching hers.
“If she won’t move, we’ll have to sit on her,” he says.
They all pile onto her, then, squishing in close, smothering her. I’m suppo
sed to join them, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I wish I could stop them, but I can’t do that, either. I back away from the scene.
She doesn’t know what to do—looks wildly around, her face bright red—until she gives up. Grabbing her bag, she squeezes herself out from under them and is subjected to the stares—and probably worse, the pity—of the entire school.
My stomach twists. Then and now. How could I be so cruel? She probably was the only worthwhile person in that place.
My sinuses burn.
“Don’t judge yourself,” Allard says softly. “Forgive that side of you. Acknowledge it, destroy it, and let it go. You will do better, be better. You already are.”
Keeping my eyes closed, I nod. It’s in the past. I’m not that person anymore. I was weak, insecure, needed validation, and had to cut down others to feel okay about myself. I have confidence now. I think back to how mean Chloe was to Rayelle, and I know what I have to do. I will defend those who can’t stand up for themselves. If someone is hurting, I will do something about it. I will find the good in everyone and help them see the gifts they have to offer. As I take the vow, relief that I’ve acknowledged my shortcomings rushes through me. I will speak up. I’ll be like Adam.
As soon as he pops into my head, I fall down a rabbit hole of memory.
As I’m backing away from my “friends,” I bump into someone tall and strong and solid. Turning around, I look up into those mesmerizing watery blue eyes that crinkle at the corners when he recognizes me. We haven’t talked since that day in Self-Awareness. Fearing Lil’s wrath, I’ve kept my distance, and lately he’s been attending class virtually anyway. According to his Networks—which I only stalk when I’m in bed, buried under my covers with my Life Stream turned off—he’s been surfing a lot. Even though a relationship with him is impossible—Lil aside, I’m not sure I’d be good for his numbers—I fantasize about what it would be like to be with him. I wish I could ask Quinn, our household AI, who is my other BFF, aside from Deena. Even though she’s not human, she understands me better than anyone. Nobody in my family makes a move without running the numbers with Quinn first. She could tell me with almost 100 percent certainty if the public would like Adam and me together, but I can’t ask her. Letting my true feelings be known outside of my Book of Secrets is too risky. Everything is so connected; it could find its way back to Lil. No information is safe.
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