by Brown, Tara
Twitter was lighting up with “how my week is going” memes and “’Fin’ is exactly my level of chaos right now.”
I slid down the wall and sat on the floor, one butt cheek frozen from the cold tile, and wondered how long this one would last.
Carmen came in a moment later, her face flushed and her eyes no longer filled with humor. “Oh, lass, I am sorry.”
“You saw?”
“I did. It’s terrible.” She sat across from me. “Why didn't you tuck the pant leg?” she asked the inevitable question.
“I didn't know about the pant leg thing,” I moaned. “That was the third time I’ve ridden a bike in a decade.” I covered my eyes, praying for this not to be real. “If I were a normal girl, this wouldn't matter. Cars would have honked and a couple of people would be laughing, and I could go on as though it never happened. I’d probably laugh about it.”
“You will laugh about it. And you are a normal—okay, you’re not. But eventually, one day, this will be a funny story.” She smiled; clearly that day had arrived for her already. She was like a kettle about to burst.
“Just laugh.” I gave her the permission she needed.
“I’m sor-sorry,” she burst. She laughed so hard she fell over onto her side. She wheezed and gasped for air as she relived the entire event, stuttering and unable to make any sense.
Eventually, I laughed with her.
Because what the hell else was I supposed to do?
After we all laughed and I pretended my tears were laugh-induced, I changed into a spare uniform and got to work. And eventually the whole event drifted to the back of my mind. The elderly were my favorite for that. They didn't know who or what I was. They didn't know about the pant leg. And when Mrs. Bates swatted my hand away as I helped her in bingo and she called me a fat arse, I was grateful for these couple of hours.
I lost all gratitude the moment I was leaving and the SUV was parked out front with the offending bike in the back.
15
Canceled culture is a crime against our morals. Publicly humiliating someone and trying them in the public eye based on shady opinions will be how we end up with Skynet #Facts
The hills are alive with the sound of screaming
Tracy offered a pressed-lip smile as we made eye contact.
“Just laugh,” I said as I climbed into the SUV. But he didn't.
He got in, solemnly, and started the huge vehicle.
“How bad is it?” I asked quietly.
“It’s not good, Fin.” He sounded upset for me, creating a knot in my stomach.
My body was a pit of despair and regret on the drive home that seemed to drag on. By the time we arrived, I was sweating nervously. I knew everyone would understand, but I didn't know how far the paparazzi and internet trolls had taken it. Or how I would face everyone at the university.
Tracy dropped me off at the castle, not the house. He smiled as he got the door for me. “He’s inside.”
“Great.” I wasn’t sure what was happening, but it wasn't an improvement on the day. Not at all. I walked up to the frighteningly intimidating front doors of the colossal castle, feeling like I was in a movie. Not a good one though, more of a horror or thriller.
A servant got the door for me, bowing slightly as I entered.
“Milady.” Another man bowed as if he was expecting me. “The king is this way.” He turned on his heel and walked off, leaving me to trail after him.
The entrance was crazy, a great hall of medieval decor with tons of tartan and statues. The stairs were nuts, something you would see in a theater in Rome.
In the halls, drapes framed massive windows and paintings lined wallpapered walls, except where dark, heavy tapestries were displayed. Rich wood floors glistened throughout with expensive plush runners for us to walk on like a never-ending red carpet.
It was decadent but too much.
And old.
I could almost see the ghosts lingering in the corners, watching me. It was spooky as hell, and I couldn’t believe this was where he’d imagined I would want to get married. Unless he meant an outdoor wedding, as the yard and gardens were beautiful and the summerhouse was the complete opposite of the castle.
I rushed after the butler, almost giving him a couple of flat tires, I stayed so close.
He stopped suddenly, turning and heading in a different direction. The castle was going to lose me in it. Swallow me up.
The insanely long journey to the den, where Aiden paced, had me breathless and worried.
“Ms. Finley Roze, Your Grace,” the man announced me formally with a perfect Queen’s English accent.
“Thank you, Mr. Brodie.” Aiden turned to us, his tone was soft but I didn't trust it. This had all the warmth of a meeting with the principal, something I was quite familiar with from high school.
The man bowed deeply for him and turned and left as quickly as he had walked in.
“Hi,” Aiden said tersely.
“Hi?” I felt on thin ice. Was he honestly pissed at me for the ass cheek? He didn't feel sorry for me—he was mad? “Why are we here?” I turned in a circle before entering the large den decorated with more dark wood accents accompanied by dead animals and statues. All of which were outshone by the art.
“I wanted to be alone with you.” He closed the door and walked to the fireplace. It was stately, of course, making his pacing in front of it menacing. “I saw, obviously,” he mentioned my fateful day with some tension in his voice. “I think everyone did.”
“Right.” I pressed my lips together for a moment before speaking, “So it’s safe to assume you’re angry with me because I had a freak accident, that could have happened to anyone, and somehow you’re taking this personally. Like this is a slight against you and the crown, and I’m a moron who is humiliating you?” I’d gone from zero to a million in half a minute. “And instead of being cool and feeling sorry for me, this is what you want to do? Lecture me—?”
“Fin—”
“No. You don't think to ask if maybe I’m upset? I flashed my ass to the entire world. Some twat got a picture of me with my butt hanging out with a pink thong for underwear. Mud spray all over my cheek.” I covered my face, holding back the rage-forced tears. “If it wasn't for you, none of this would be happening to me. Yes, I screwed up. I’m an idiot. I rode the bike and didn't tuck the pant leg, I know,” I groaned. “But you make it so the world cares about everything I do. And it isn’t fair. I didn't sign up for this.” My words started to sound weird to me, foreign. A thought I hadn’t wanted to share. “Normally, I would laugh at myself and move on. But I can’t. Because they will never move on from this. There’s already a ‘who wore it better?’ picture on Instagram. There’s me and some poor dog dressed up in a pink swimsuit.”
“Let me speak,” he cut me off, stepping closer. “Are you all right?” His tone softened.
“What?” The question wasn't what I expected. “All right?” What did he mean? “Like did I get hurt?”
“No, I mean you had a hard day, are you all right? I don't really know how to help in this situation.” He bit his lip and I realized he was fighting a laugh. “What can I do to mend your bruised ego?”
“You made me come here to mess with me?” I took a step back, aghast but also wishing I could congratulate him for getting his sense of humor back.
“Fin, I swear”—he rushed forward—“I didn’t. I just figured you would want to be away from everyone else.” He took my hands in his, lifting them and kissing the backs of them one at a time, exhaling and causing a shiver to run the length of my body. “I assumed you would need a minute before you saw it all or suffered through the laughing and tormenting.”
“I’ve already been tormented. Carter, Linna, Bea? You think any of them would give me a break on this? Of course not; I wouldn't give them a break either. I ripped my bloody pants up to the top of my ass cheek and then had to continue riding to get away from the paparazzi. And it’s all my own fault. I can’t even blame an
yone,” I complained and flopped my head onto his chest.
“Oh, Fin.” He wrapped himself around me and kissed the top of my head. “Why didn't you tuck the pant leg?” he whispered, sounding like he was struggling, but then I felt the vibration of his laughter.
“Oh my God!” I shoved him back as he burst, laughing so hard he couldn't stand properly. He leaned on the back of a chair and roared. He succumbed to the same emotion Carmen had, dying with laughter while trying to relive the moment or speak but it was lost in the giggling.
“I really hate you right now.”
“I’m-I’m s-s-sorry.” He tried to gain some control but it didn't happen.
When the stodgy king laughed at you, you knew the whole world was laughing.
“You brought me here to laugh at me in private? You suck. I’m going home.” I turned and stormed out of the den, trying desperately to find my way back out of the castle but it was hopeless. Eventually, I left from a random door and ran in the direction of the summerhouse, the cold wind picking up as I got midway in the field. I was freezing and angry and ready to soak in a tub and ignore the entire world.
“Fin! Wait!” Aiden shouted as he ran after me. He took my hand in his when he caught up. “I’m so sorry. I meant to be calmer—I didn't want anyone to see me laugh.”
“It’s fine,” I grumbled. “I’m just glad you’re not mad at me. I want to go home and pretend this day didn't happen. Because tomorrow I have to go back to school and face everyone.”
“Mad at you? Wait!” He spun me, scowling in disappointment. “Fin, I had planned on meeting you at the castle after work anyway. Before the whole naked dirty bum thing.”
“Let’s never call it that again.”
“Right. What I mean is, I need to say something to you and I demand you hear me. Obviously, your exciting afternoon interrupted my plans.” He cupped my face. “And I am sorry for laughing. I honestly couldn't help it if I tried. I was trying to be serious, forcing myself not to laugh. It’s why I chose that dull study to meet in. But it was impossible. The picture of you standing on the side of the road, muttering ‘fuck,’ looking such a m-mess.” He started to laugh again but cleared his throat.
“Anyway.”
“The thing I wanted to say before—”
“Before I flashed my hot pink thong and muddy bum at the world.”
“Precisely.” He calmed, staring into my eyes with his stormy ones, appearing epic with the castle and hills and cloudy sky behind him. “I’ve decided since I’m king, we’re going to do some things unorthodoxly. And no one is going to tell me differently. Not even you.”
“Unorthodoxly?”
“I-I love you, Finley Roze. I want to marry you. I’m not asking right now since I suspect you still hate me somewhat and the afternoon has not improved that. But I will ask you again, and until then I’ll try harder to be the guy you met all those years ago.”
My heart leapt, just a bit.
“There needs to be two Aidens. One for you and one for them. And I believe that was the thing my father was best at. He turned it off and on like a master. But the point I am making is that you are mine.” His eyes flashed. “You b-belong with me. And the moment this year is over, you are moving to Andorra. I’m not asking, Fin. I’m done asking. I’m done living apart from you. I’m done missing you so much I sense I’m missing a piece of me. I’m done with the hesitations you have and the doubts you suffer from. I’m done with the wishy-washy back and forth. Your parents and Sheila and my parents, they’re not us. We’re not them. And I’m tired of paying for their sins or being afraid of recommitting them. I am done. Do you hear me? Do you understand what I am saying?”
I parted my lips to say something but nothing came out, so I nodded like a fish out of water.
“I lo-love you and as far as I am concerned, this today—this is the first day of the rest of our lives. And while you’ve already made it interesting, to say the least, I’m excited to see what else you can possibly squeeze into the next eighty years.”
“Okay.” I smiled, completely relieved. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Just being kinda what I needed in this moment of typical Fin bullshit.” I buried my head in his chest and took several breaths. “I am such a hot mess.”
He gently placed a finger under my chin and lifted, forcing me to stare at him. “I am so sorry you had a hard day and a cruel accident.” He lowered his face and pressed his lips to mine.
It was a little Jane-Austen magical, even if I agreed with Linna and the whole idea of ending the movie with just a simple peck was lame. But there was something about a king kissing a girl in the field behind the castle. Despite pictures of her dirty butt drifting around the internet.
16
Funerals need to be more like birthdays. They’re for the living, celebrating a life. We should add piñatas and drinks and cake. Everyone likes cake.
Ashes in the wind
The helicopter ride made me tense, anxious really. Not because Aiden had spent the night in my room. Not because we’d had the most intense make-up sex imaginable. Or because I kept thinking about the sex while everyone else in the helicopter carried on cracking jokes about my situation yesterday.
It was because he was holding his dad’s urn carelessly, and I kept imagining it falling and spilling everywhere. He should’ve had both hands on it, keeping it steady. He was much too casual with it. And the ground bones bothered me a lot more than I thought they would.
When we landed in an empty parking lot next to a stone castle on a black lake, my heart raced watching the pottery shake and tremble in his grip.
“You okay?” Linna asked, her breath tickling my ear.
“Yeah,” I barely breathed as I softly said the word.
“Wanna hear a joke?” she asked with a grin.
“No.” I scowled. “Dude.” Even I knew you didn’t tell jokes in front of urns.
“A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast,” Linna whispered, then bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.
“There’s a dead person in the helicopter. You’re a terrible human being.” I couldn’t believe she’d done it.
“I read it this morning in something called a Reader’s Digest. It was in the front sitting room.” She snickered as she sat back.
I glanced at Aiden, hoping he hadn’t heard that. But by the lifted corner of his mouth I could tell he had.
Johan started to laugh. Jess slapped him in the arm.
“It’s not funny,” I said, losing the battle and joining them in the laugh.
“It’s so stupid, I can’t help it,” Johan tried to defend himself but laughed harder, making Aiden lose it. He burst into a deep belly laugh, shaking his head, likely at Linna and not with her.
The door opened to reveal Jack, some guards, Aunt Ellen, and Aiden’s mother who scowled at us roaring with laughter for a second before we all stifled it and tried to calm ourselves.
“Perhaps I should hold that.” Aiden’s mom reached her hands out to the urn.
“I’ve got it.” Aiden sounded annoyed as he climbed out and stalked away. His mother’s effect on his mood was unmistakable. Her effect on me was similar. She didn't greet Linna, Jess, or me. She nodded at Johan and stalked after Aiden who didn't wait for any of us. He was eager to get it over with.
“Hiya, Fin!” Jack hugged me before making his rounds.
“Jack, I swear you’re even taller,” I lamented.
“I think you’re just shrinking.” He winked, all the charm of his two brothers oozing from him. He ran after Aiden, nudging him like only a little brother could.
But Aiden’s back remained rigid and straight.
Our conversation in the field played over and over in my head as we walked up to the coolest-looking castle I’d ever seen. Eilean Donan was exactly how all Scottish castles should loo
k. Surrounded by a dark lake, it was a short brick tower and keep on what seemed to be a small island.
We walked to the castle via an old cobbled path that must have been redone recently and was sort of a footbridge over the shallow lake water. The tiny island had nothing but the single castle and some grass, of course so green it was emerald.
The lake and area were surrounded by the small hills the Scottish called mountains. Clearly, never having seen the Rockies, they were confused on what a mountain was. In the distance, framing the entire picture, were dark stormy clouds that resembled Aiden’s eyes, blues and grays.
It was perfect, but the cherry on top was the reflection of the castle, the clouds, and green grass dreamily displayed on the calm water. It was mesmerizing.
“They suspect monks might have had a small monastery on the island first. They’ve traced some ruins back to 600 AD. And Robert the Bruce stayed here in the thirteen hundreds. And apparently the site is haunted as hell,” Johan continued the guided tour that was meant to be a funeral as he carried Jess on his back as though we were tourists and not a royal entourage. “Some fifty men were murdered and their heads set on pikes on the outer wall. They haunt the grounds, owing allegiance as a penance for their misdeeds.”
My skin crawled and Linna stepped closer to me. Neither of us liked ghosts.
“It’s been a spot where men have fought for hundreds of years. And was pretty much nothing but rubble until a hundred years ago. They rebuilt it based on the old ruins.”
“How do you know so much about it?” Jess asked from Johan’s back where she clung like a kid.
“It was one of the castles I really wanted to see. I like castles.” He shrugged and continued on, piggybacking Jess as if he wasn't a prince about to attend the ash spreading of a former king at a castle with some insane historical background.