The Sweet Road Back

by Jacki Kelly

  “This is a new phone and a new number. Besides, it’s none of your business, Dan.”

  “Everything you do is my business. It’s been over four months, already. You might as well call her so you can get on with your life. You know you can’t move forward until you clear up all the stuff in your past.”

  “Right after the last show, I’m taking a little break. I’m going to spend some extended time in Maui, maybe a few months. I have some songs I want to work on.” Darius pushed his phone in his pants pocket.

  “You didn’t answer my question.” Dan continued to tap his pen.

  “You didn’t ask me a question. You made a statement, and you know I don’t take relationship advice from you. You’ve been divorced three times and you have two baby mommies.”

  “You are a lot easier to handle when you’re happy.”

  “Stop handling me. What’s up with the movie score?” Darius asked even though now he didn’t care if the deal fell through.

  “You got it, buddy. They loved the songs, and if you don’t get an Academy Award for that shit, I’ll give you back my salary for a year.”

  Darius chuckled. “You say the same thing every year.”

  “Yeah, but I usually say it about the Grammy. So, why don’t you look happier? I thought this was the news you wanted to hear. You should be jumping up and down.”

  Darius dropped his head. “How can I get out of here without all the photographers seeing me?”

  “You know you should be smiling for the paparazzi. Between the tour and the score, we’re printing money like the Mint.”

  “Just tell me how to get out of here.”

  “The hotel has made arrangements for you to avoid the crowds. Just take the elevator down one level and use the employee entrance. You should be fine.” Dan dropped the pen. “Hey, Darius, you’re still committed to the tour, aren’t you? Last night, you sounded fine, but you weren’t in the stadium mentally. Can I count on you?”

  “Hey, Dan, it’s all about the music. See you at the Link tomorrow.”

  ****

  Spring in Philadelphia was always warmer than in San Francisco. Being back on Terra Firma felt freeing. The glue holding her life together was pulling double duty, but for now, this was the life she had.

  She almost stumbled on a bump in the sidewalk and juggled the phone pressed to her ear. “What time are we meeting for dinner?” Melissa yelled into her phone as she hurried up Walnut Street.

  “Asa can’t get away until seven, so we’re meeting at the restaurant. Can you make it to Bristol by then?” Dakota asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there. I’m meeting with the hotel banquet manager in a few minutes, and then I’ll hop in the car and come down. If I get there early, I’ll swing past your place and hang out until dinner.” A line of news vans were doubled parked along the street, snarling traffic. She wove her way across the intersection.

  “Great. See you then,” Dakota said.

  Melissa dropped her phone into her briefcase and pulled open the heavy glass door leading to the hotel lobby. The check-in lines were three people deep and several nondescript men and women loitered in the chairs.

  She flagged down an unoccupied doorman. “Can you tell me where I can find the banquet manager? I’m late for my appointment.”

  “Ma’am, this place is a zoo today. He probably won’t even notice.”

  “What’s going on here?” She craned her neck to see around the crowd.

  He hunched his shoulders. “I just work here. They don’t tell me much. You can find the banquet manager on the Mezzanine Level. Take the elevator up one level.” He pointed in the direction where everyone seemed to be heading. “I’ll tell you what, to avoid the chaos, take the employee elevator. Follow me.” He led the way through a narrow door just off the lobby and swiped the badge around his neck through the card reader. He pushed the up button. “If anyone asks you, just tell them Kurt let you in here.”

  Before she could thank him, he darted back down the hall the way they’d come and disappeared behind the door.

  She adjusted her stance to stare at the illuminated numbers above the door, watching as the elevator neared the lobby. As soon as the doors parted, she jumped on and pushed the large M. If the hotel was always this busy, it was the perfect location for the gallery launch party. With three months until the grand opening, she had a lot of work to finish. At least the running around took her mind off the empty hole in her life, even if it was only for a few moments.

  Since moving back to the east coast she hadn’t called Darius. The urge to dial his number nagged her every moment of every day and sometimes she almost lost the fight. But, the little dignity she had left had to be used to rebuild her life. Her heart pumped his name through her veins, but her mind demanded she be strong and move on. Living in limbo may have worked for her mother, but it wasn’t an option for her.

  At least, this time, she’d found a reputable lawyer and started divorce proceedings. Now, all she had to do was arrange the launch for the gallery, see a doctor, and commission her first artist. The pain would eventually ease. Mim said trouble doesn’t last always and she had to believe her grandmother was right. Being married to a man who wouldn’t even speak to her was ridiculous. She shouldn’t feel betrayed by him, but she did. Married people didn’t walk away from their relationship without fighting to save it first.

  She stepped off the elevator and hurried toward a bay of offices.

  “Melissa, is that you? What are you doing here?”

  Even though she hadn’t heard his voice in four months, her heart double-pumped and every thought in her head disappeared. She looked up into the big, brown eyes with flecks of gold. Eyes she couldn’t seem to forget, eyes that should have loved her always. The massive chest and broad shoulders of the only man she’d ever loved stood before her like a mirage.

  “Darius, why are you here?” She stood still, afraid to move.

  “My show is here in Philly tomorrow night. But how did you know I was staying at this hotel?”

  She shook her head. “I didn’t. I have a meeting...I’m here for a meeting.” Her mind refused to cooperate. Her stomach was a jumble of anxiety. A ball of heat rolled up her back leaving her lightheaded. The conversations she’d planned for him vanished. All she wanted was to feel his arms around her. She swallowed and tried to regain her composure. Just when the idea of not seeing him again had settled in, here he was.

  He stood ramrod straight and stared at her with his mouth slightly open and his hands deep in his pockets. His eyes pierced her as if he were staring at a stranger.

  She took a step away from him. Overwhelmed by the warmth in the narrow hall, her legs felt weak. “Do you plan to be mad at me forever?”

  He didn’t answer right away. Instead, his eyes rolled over her, taking her in from head to foot. “I haven’t given the future much thought. Forever is a long time.”

  She pushed her shoulders back, trying to be as nonchalant as him. “Mim used to say the same thing. But somehow knowing forever is equal to eternity doesn’t help our situation much, does it?”

  He widened his stance and dropped his head. “I just don’t know how to wrap my mind around this…” He pulled his hands from his pockets and wrung them.

  He stepped away from her.

  She swallowed the bitter taste at the back of her throat. She’d rehearsed for this conversation hundreds of times, but the words wouldn’t come now. The wound that was getting better opened up just as raw and ugly as before. She needed to get away from him. Far enough away where the pain couldn’t reach her. Her vision blurred as her knees buckled.

  “Melissa, are you okay? What’s the matter? You look…orange.”

  “I can’t…I can’t.” She slumped against him.

  He lowered her to the floor and ran to the nearest door. “Call an ambulance. Hurry.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Darius hovered near the hospital bed. His stomach bounced like a truck on a road full of po
tholes. By now, the disappointment over her betrayal should have faded, but the eternal roller coaster was still riding him. If she wasn’t dressed in hospital clothes and as pale as snow, he would have lashed out at her. Instead, he checked his emotions to deal with the current situation.

  At first, not taking her calls was a way to punish her for keeping the secret. But the treatment had backfired on him, allowing his anger to grow. Seeing her now, he knew his behavior wasn’t any better than hers, but he was justified in his reaction. The way she avoided his eyes said there was something blocking them now. Her ire rankled his rage and they were at an impasse.

  He shifted his weight from one foot to the next. She was going to dig her claws in and make him pay. The constant tit-for-tat needed to end or what remained of their life would be shredded beyond repair.

  Waiting for the doctor only added to the tension. Melissa kept dozing off, but he’d seen the alarm on her face. She opened her eyes to look at the door again.

  “How are you feeling, Melissa?” He reached for her hand. Her smooth, warm palm felt limp.

  “Darius, you don’t have to stay. I know you must have something you need to do.” She pulled her hand away.

  “Okay. I deserved that. But, I’m not going anywhere until we find out what’s going on.” He sat in the nearest chair. “I thought you were going to see a doctor right after my last visit home.”

  She sneered at him. “Well, something more important came up, didn’t it?”

  He ignored the jab. “How long have you been sick?”

  “I’m not sick. I haven’t had much of an appetite since my husband left me, so I missed breakfast this morning. As soon as I get some food, I’ll be fine.”

  “Oh, so, now, you’re a doctor too. Nobody passes out because they missed breakfast, Melissa.”

  “Why don’t we just wait and see what the doctor has to say?”

  “Fine. Let’s wait.” He sat back in the chair.

  She pushed up to a sitting position and placed her hands in her lap. “Darius, I hope we get to talk about our marriage one day. One day soon. But, until we work out whatever is going on with us, I really would like to handle this situation alone. And I want to be very clear with you from now on. I moved to Philly a few weeks ago and I’ve seen a lawyer to file for divorce. Before I was unsure and deep down inside I really wanted us to work out our problem, but you didn’t seem to have the time or the inclination. This time you abandoned me, walked away. So, I’m sure it’s the right thing for me.”

  Her words felt like cold water being poured on his head. The shell she was so good at erecting to protect herself was back in place.

  “I figured you had something more important you wanted to get on with. Or, should I say, someone.” His voice was as rigid as his shoulders.

  She made a show of taking a deep breath. “Darius, I’m not angry or upset. I’m being a realist. We’ve got more reasons to be apart than we have to be together. Loving someone is not supposed to hurt this much. I’m freeing you and I’m freeing me. I’ll have the papers delivered to Dan’s office since I don’t even know where you’re living.”

  She punched the pillow and turned her back to him as the doctor walked in the room.

  “Ms. Conroy, I’m Dr. Carlton. How are you feeling now?” The doctor was overweight and appeared competent. His hair made him resemble Santa Claus. Maybe he could bring them some cheer.

  Hearing the doctor use her maiden name was like a whip across his face.

  “Better. Can I go home now?”

  He glanced down at the chart in his hand, flipping the pages and scanning them much too fast. He lowered the papers and turned to Darius with a questioning look.

  “Hi, I’m her husband, Darius Bellamy.”

  “Soon to be ex-husband,” she said.

  Darius moved to the opposite side of the bed, across from the doctor. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “There’s nothing wrong. She’s pregnant. Soon, there will be an addition to your family.” The doctor grinned.

  Melissa’s face was unreadable.

  “A baby.” He coughed. “Are you sure?” He spun around to face her while trying to manage his stomach in free fall. He grabbed the railing on the side of the bed. No wonder she didn’t want him to stay around. She’d done it again, made him appear foolish.

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  Melissa ran her hands through her hair. “Pregnant? How can I be pregnant? I haven’t missed a period.”

  “Well, it happens sometimes. But trust me, you’re going to have a baby. However, you’re severely dehydrated and we need to get some fluids back in your body. And you need to eat. Even when you don’t think you’re hungry, eat something, several small meals are better than one large one.” He flipped through the papers again.

  “Can I go home now?” Melissa jerked the sheets off her legs, exposing her thighs.

  “Not today. We need to keep you overnight, monitor your fluid levels until they are back in the normal range. Maybe tomorrow you can go home.”

  “I…I… this is too much.” She rubbed her hand against her forehead.

  “Let’s take it slow. First, you just get some rest and let us take care of you tonight. Tomorrow, there will be plenty of time to figure out all the details. We need to find out how far along you are.” The doctor’s reassurance seemed to help her relax. She took a deep breath.

  The doctor gave her a smile that extended to Darius before spinning around and leaving the room.

  Darius observed her for several moments. She resembled the vivacious woman he’d married and wanted a life with, but all the secrets and deceit were new characteristics. Ones he expected from the groupies hanging on the fringe of the tour, not from the woman he thought he cherished.

  “Melissa, did you know?” He bit down on his tongue. All he had to do was to get from this moment to the next one without letting her see the pain consuming him. There was a small chance he could retain what little manhood he still held precious.

  “A baby never crossed my mind.” She released a nervous chuckle. “But, nothing’s changed with us.” The cold stare she gave him backed him up.

  “I’m going to ask you a question, and I know you’re going to get mad, but I need to know the answer.” He cleared his throat. He tightened his hold on the bed and closed his eyes for a moment. “Is the baby mine, Melissa?” Asking the question was like stabbing himself in the heart, but he wanted to hear her say the words. If his world was going to fall apart, then let it happen before he started chasing dreams.

  She turned her body in the bed to face him and he braced for her reply.

  “Darius, you know me. Regardless of what we’ve been through, you know who I am. If your insecurities require you to hear the words, then yes. The baby is yours. Regardless of what images you’ve created in your imagination, rest assured this baby is yours.”

  He tried to hide the relief flooding his body, but the euphoric feeling was hard to control.

  “Melissa, we both made mistakes. I had every right to be mad at you. How could you let me believe we were fat, dumb, and happy, and you were talking to a divorce attorney? And I hear about it on television. And the pictures, I saw the pictures, Melissa.”

  “Your behavior wasn’t any better. You discarded me and nothing has changed because of an accidental run-in at a hotel.” She folded her arms over the white hospital gown and stared at the door. “What would have happened if I’d decided to have my gallery opening at another hotel and I’d never bumped into you? Were you ever going to try to reach me, Darius?”

  Her words cut him. He’d been a coward. Instead of addressing their problems, he’d tried to ignore them. It was much easier to massage his hurt by pretending it didn’t exist. At some point, he knew he’d have to face her, but he imagined it would be to put an end to their marriage, so he’d stayed away. Delaying the inevitable. He’d tendered the idea their marriage was over and avoided facing the truth much like his father had done. All along, he
thought he was different, so much more in control of his life. But the reality was he only controlled a small portion. She held the power.

  “We’ll have time to talk about this. I don’t think this is the right place or the right time to talk about our future.” He needed to clear his head. His thoughts were playing a game of bumper cars, colliding into each other.

  Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t speak.

  “Please don’t cry. I’ll be here first thing in the morning and we can discuss what we’re going to do. We are a long way from being done.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Long after Darius had left her hospital room, she still had her hand on her stomach. Not once had she considered the possibility of pregnancy. What was she supposed to do now? Afraid to be happy, but too happy to be sad, she rubbed her abdomen and closed her eyes.

  Just seeing Darius today was like scrutinizing old photographs and being nostalgic for the good old days. He had made her laugh. He had made her cry. He had brought her to life. But their relationship was like an addiction. The more she had, the more she wanted. Just when she thought she was breaking free of him, now, a child would tie them together for the rest of her life.

  Old memories of her parents rushed in like floodwaters. She could hear her mother and father arguing about a baby. Her father’s baby maybe. Spying on her parents had warped her. Melissa was willing to bet on that. All her adult life she had paid for hearing those grown-up details long before she knew anything about life. Her parents’ arguments had colored every decision she made. For better or worse.

  Dakota and Asa were much more forgiving than she’d ever been. But neither of them carried the burden of knowing all the details of their parents’ life. How close they’d come to walking away from their marriage. If the accident hadn’t killed them both, maybe they would have divorced.

  She and Darius were like a mixture of fire and gasoline. Combustible. Each of them had dragged baggage into their marriage that had been heaped on them without them even knowing it. She didn’t want to pass the same legacy on to their child. Their baby needed to have a chance of a normal life, with happy parents, not with two people just pretending.