The Sweet Road Back

by Jacki Kelly

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  The ride home was quiet, which meant she was exhausted or irritated.

  “You had a good time, didn’t you?” Darius maneuvered into the living room with a load of boxes nestled in his arms. Melissa closed and locked the door.

  “Baby showers come with the territory.” Melissa dropped her purse on the sofa.

  “I’ll get the other gifts out of the car in the morning.” He placed the boxes on the table.

  “If you leave those gifts there, I’ll put everything away tomorrow. I’m going to bed.”

  “Want some company?”

  She pointed a threatening finger at him. “Don’t you dare.” She marched down the hall and closed the bedroom door. At least she didn’t slam it.

  The gifts cluttered the table. He lifted the lid on the top box and removed the green blanket and matching towels. These were the things of a normal family. The family he wanted to be a part of.

  He removed all the items from the boxes and folded them into neat piles. The tiny outfits, bibs, and socks were a jolt of reality. Until the shower, the baby was a fantasy, but the stuff on the table was like the pinch forcing reality on him.

  “Come on, Turbo.” He leashed the dog and headed outside. After disposing of the trash, he glanced down the street. For June, the air was crisp. With each step the anxious pressure sitting on his chest was less oppressive. And the way Turbo was prancing, he needed the release too.

  He slipped back in the house an hour later. In spite of the low humidity, his shirt clung to his chest. After another look at all the baby stuff on the table, he turned out the lights and headed for the small bathroom designated as his.

  The lukewarm shower didn’t suppress his desire for Melissa. Afterwards, he made his way to the kitchen. A cold beer would help him rest. Melissa was asleep, so he didn’t put on a towel as he made his way. He popped the cap on the Corona and took a sip.

  “Darius!” The shrill way she said his name made his heart race.

  He set the bottle down and raced to her room. In the months since he moved in, she never called him into her bedroom.

  He threw open the door without knocking. The only light in the room flooded in from the hall. She was stretched on top of the bed with her gown gathered above her breasts looking ethereal. “Melissa, is something wrong?”

  “The baby.” Her hands were on top of her stomach.

  “Should I call a doctor…I’ll take you to the hospital.”

  “No. I’m fine. The baby is moving. He’s moving. Put your hand right here.” She pulled his hand on top of her swollen belly and topped it with hers.

  “Melissa, don’t scare me like that. I thought…I…”

  “Shhh. Do you feel my stomach moving?” she whispered.

  “No. I don’t feel anything. Make him do it again.” He climbed onto the bed next to her.

  “I’m not doing anything. He’s doing it on his own.” She held his hand in place and applied more pressure.

  “There, there it is. Tell me you felt the movement this time.” She sounded like she was almost pleading with him.

  “I did, Melissa. Does it hurt?”

  “No. I thought it would, but it feels amazing. Absolutely amazing. I love it.” Her eyes glowed with excitement.

  For several moments they sat in silence. Waiting. The sound of their breathing was the only noise in the room.

  “Promise me something, Melissa.”

  “Maybe. You might ask for the impossible. I can’t make blind promises. There is too much at stake.”

  “Don’t hold my actions against me and I won’t hold your actions against you. I mean it, Melissa.”

  She nodded agreement. “Sounds easy enough. In fact, I think forgetting the past is a good idea. Because I want our child to grow up knowing no matter what’s going on between us, he will be loved.”

  “I don’t think he will have to worry about how we feel. I love him already and he’s not even here yet.” He looked into her eyes when he spoke.

  “I think that’s the way parenting works.” She released a sob.

  “Why are you crying; this is a good thing, isn’t it?” Darius pulled her into his arms.

  “Yeah, but there’s so much. I wasn’t planning to get pregnant and I think I’m just overwhelmed.” She sobbed louder. “What do I know about babies?”

  “I’m here for you. We are going to do this together. Tell me what you need.”

  “Hold me, please.”

  She smelled liked soap and sunshine. He didn’t move, even after the kicks stopped. Melissa was breathing so soft it was several minutes before he realized she’d fallen asleep.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Melissa opened her eyes. She was lying on her side and Darius had his arm wrapped around her waist. Her nightgown rested above her stomach. She tried to slip out of bed without waking him. A few more minutes in this position and trouble would be next.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m pregnant. I gotta pee.”

  He moved his arm. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

  “Not as good as you evidently.” She pointed to his erection.

  “Why don’t you hurry back and help a brother out.” He put his hands behind his head and bared his chest. Last night, nestling in Darius’s arms reminded her of one of the things she missed.

  Instead of going back into the bedroom, she turned on the shower and stepped under the water. Most of the night she’d pretended to sleep. But every time his rod stiffened against her, she’d wanted to reach for him. He probably didn’t even know what his body was doing, but she caught every note. If only she could get her body to obey her mind. Not only had the baby taken over her appetite, her sexual desire had taken over her ability to think rationally.

  She adjusted the temperature to as cool as she could stand it and stepped inside the stall. For several minutes, she allowed the water to wash over her body and relieve her hot skin. Water cascaded over her shoulders, and her heart, flooding her body until the overwhelming desire for Darius began to decrease.

  When she stepped out, she was in control. She wrapped herself in a towel and peaked into the bedroom. The bed was empty. At least she would be able to dress without him staring at her or having to order him out of the room.

  She pulled on shorts and a tee shirt, then strolled into the kitchen while trying to control her damp hair with a scrunchie. Not her best fashion statement, but eating was more important than her appearance.

  “You folded all those clothes? And look how neat the stacks are.”

  “Yeah, I figured we needed to get some kind of order around here. I hope you didn’t want to keep any of the boxes. I took them all out last night.” He pushed the lever on the toaster.

  “Thanks, Darius. That was sweet of you. And now you’re cooking?”

  “I notice if you eat on time, you are a lot happier. I’m doing my part for world peace.” He placed a plate in front of her.

  She sat at the glass table and popped a strip of bacon into her mouth. “I can’t argue with your logic. The eggs are cooked just right.”

  He also poured a glass of milk and set it in front of her before sitting down. “Do you want to talk about last night?”

  “What part? My fears or the way you poked me all night long?”

  “The poking couldn’t be helped. You slept with your butt against me. But I was talking about what you said. About being worried.”

  She smeared the toast with a large glob of strawberry jam and took a bite. After swallowing, she said, “I worry about being a good mother. The gallery is new/. It needs my attention. But, the baby comes first, so I don’t know how I’m going to swing everything.”

  “And what do you think I’ll be doing while you’re doing all your stuff?”

  She put her fork down. “I can’t make assumptions about us. We are in a state of limbo. You keep ignoring the divorce papers, but everything between us is the same.”

  His eyes
darkened. “Melissa, sometimes I don’t think you’re even trying.”

  “Trying what? We’ve been living in this two-bedroom condo for over a month and we’re both still alive. You’re not giving me the credit I’m due.”

  “I think you’re failing to give me my props. My hours at the make-shift studio across town are regular. I’m home every night, whether you show up for dinner or not.” He pushed out his chest. “I’m even cooking for you. And all this from a man who used to get his meals from a can.”

  She dropped her eyes to her empty plate. He was right. His transition back into her life had been so seamless she hadn’t had a chance to resist. On slow nights at the gallery, she left closing to her assistant, to come home and watch baseball with him. When had her life changed course?

  “You’re right. I guess I saw it but didn’t fully understand everything you’re doing. But, I’m not ready to take your hand and run off into the sunset. You have to understand my reluctance. I still want to take one day at a time. Just having a baby is enough to handle right now.”

  He pushed back from the table, nearly tipping his chair over. “I cooked. You get to load the dishwasher.”

  Turbo followed him out of the kitchen, and minutes later, the front door closed behind them.

  In the silence of the apartment, she cleaned the kitchen. Mim always said a tiger doesn’t change his stripes. But, Darius resembled someone different. Instead of putting himself first, he actually thought about her comfort first. Even last night, he had held her until she fell asleep.

  She picked up the baby clothes and walked back to her room. After placing them on the dresser, she gathered her drawing supplies and stepped onto the balcony. Without any visible neighbors, she settled into the chaise and sketched a new version of the man she married.

  ****

  Darius opened the apartment door and Turbo bounded inside. The place was quiet. Melissa had to be hiding in her room. He placed the leash in the entry closet.

  Since she was avoiding him, he could listen to any oldies he wanted. He selected a Diana Washington and Brook Benton single and placed it on the turntable. While the two crooned You Got What It Takes, he flopped in the chair and laced his fingers across his stomach.

  His understanding of pregnant women was minimal, but Melissa had created a new class. There were at least two more months before the baby arrived, and if she thought he would spend them kissing her feet, she was mistaken.

  He pushed off the chair and stalked down the hall. He knocked on her bedroom door but entered before she could respond. The room was empty, but the door leading to the balcony was open.

  “We need to talk.”

  She put the tablet down and lifted her sunglasses. “Okay, what about?”

  He sat beside her. “You’re not running the whole show. I know you think you have indignation on your side, but so do I.”

  “Go on. You’re wearing your serious face, so you might as well get what’s bothering you off your chest.” She smirked.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You are. You could bust a seam right now, couldn’t you?”

  “I’m really trying, Melissa. We haven’t had a major blow up since I moved in. But, you only want to focus on the past. What do you expect from me, from us? You can’t fall into happiness. It’s something you build with the trials and tribulations of life.”

  She adjusted her position on the chair to face him. “How many trials do you have to experience before you walk away?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll have to ask my mother.” He had to squint against the sun to see her.

  She ran her finger across his chin. “You need to shave.”

  Melissa could find a way to maneuver out of a grave. Her smile and touch made the point of his conversation less important.

  “I don’t know what’s going on. I had everything all planned out, and you showed up again.” She trailed her hand through his stubble.

  “No, you showed up. And I’m glad you did.”

  She lifted an eyebrow but didn’t respond.

  The slow crawl of her hand under his shirt kindled a slow simmer in the center of his soul that radiated to every extremity.

  “Do you know what you’re doing?” He couldn’t hide the desire in his voice.

  “I know I’m horny as hell and you’re here.” She pressed her lips against his neck and climbed into his lap.

  “Aren’t you worried about your neighbors seeing you?”

  “Nobody can see us.” She continued to kiss his neck, darting her tongue along her flesh.

  “In that case…” He lifted her shirt. She extended her arms and slipped out of the top. Without a bra on, her large, heavy breasts filled his palms. He hoisted her higher with his knees. With gentle pressure, he rubbed his thumb over one nipple while circling the other with his tongue.

  “Take off your shirt.” She pushed her hand into the elastic of his pants and held his rod with a firm hand.

  He lifted her up.

  “What are you doing?” She swung her legs off the chaise and stood.

  “I was going to carry you inside.” He removed his clothes.

  “Uh uh. I want to make love right here.” She pulled off her shorts. With the sun behind her, every curve was accentuated.

  He ran his hands along her silhouette. “You are gorgeous.”

  “I’m fat. Why are you staring at me like that?

  “Because you’ve never looked more beautiful. You’re carrying my child and you I know now that I adore you. And I’m not afraid of that feeling anymore.” The emotion swelling in his chest was powerful. The feeling of being vulnerable was both extraordinary and scary.

  “In all the right places.” He cupped his hands behind her head and lowered his mouth to her. She parted her lips just enough to accept his tongue as he laid her down on the chaise.

  All he wanted to do was please and love her. He ran his tongue along her collarbone, then between her breasts. She arched her back as he continued his descent to the sweet spot between her thighs. Each time she called his name, it sounded like a song.

  With each slow steady stroke, she released a groan that stroked his desire too. She grabbed his earlobes. Her legs tightened around him and her body jerked with tiny spasms.

  When her body relaxed, she eased her hips down on the chair and loosened her hold on him. “Oh, Darius.”

  He kissed each side of her inner thighs. “Yes.”

  “What are we doing? This isn’t going to help us,” she said.

  “Well, it certainly didn’t hurt us.”

  She flipped on her side to face him. “You know what I mean. Sex confuses everything.”

  The morning sun moved behind a cloud, allowing the terrace to cool just a bit. There weren’t any easy answers on what would happen next, and he was okay with not knowing. The casual pattern they’d slipped into worked. For now, he didn’t need to pull back the curtain and examine life closer.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Sitting in her small office tucked into the back corner of the gallery, Melissa wrote baby names across the lined paper. All of them male. Darius was so certain she was carrying a boy she believed him.

  Darius Manning Bellamy, Jr. was written larger than the others. But with so much uncertainty circling overhead, she positioned a big question mark next to the moniker.

  The blissfulness of the last few weeks was enough to make her wish the dream could continue. But, wishful thinking was foolish. Their relationship was like a bumpy road. When they were connecting, nothing in life was better, but when they steered off course, the pain was almost too much to bear.

  Darius was warped like a vinyl record left sitting in the sun too long. All the things she’d found quirky and loveable about him in college had amplified when other real life issues piled on. But as much as she tried, she couldn’t stop loving him.

  Every night since they’d returned from the baby shower, he slept in the king-sized bed with his hand draped over her stomach. T
heir pregnancy love-making had intensity to it, almost as if they were trying to get enough of each other to last through a drought. And maybe that’s exactly what she was trying to do. Sooner or later, they’d have to make some decisions and she had no idea which path they’d choose.

  She dropped the pen. Enough daydreaming, she had a lunch date with Pam in ten minutes in the park.

  She called out to her assistant as she left the gallery. The garden was only a few blocks away, so she walked. The temperature was pleasant. The clear day just might help her clear her head. She should be focused on motherhood, not all the eating and sex whirling around her for attention.

  Pam wasn’t there when she arrived. After she found an empty spot on a bench, she pulled her cellphone from her purse and dialed Darius.

  His phone rang several times before his recording came on. She ended the call without leaving a message just as Pam arrived.

  Pam bounded into the park with their deli order gripped in her right hand and her purse slung over her shoulder. Watching her friend come back to life was one of the joys of being in Philly. The other was being close to her sisters again. At least Darius hadn’t mentioned moving back to the west coast. For the first time in her adult life, she felt like she was running her life instead of flopping around in someone else’s.

  “Ms. Pamela, thank you for suggesting we eat outside. I haven’t done this in so long. You look absolutely radiant,” she said to her friend. “Does your new attitude mean you’ve forgotten all about Steve?”

  Pam dropped her purse on the bench between them and extracted sandwiches and chips from the greasy bag. “Actually, I have. I haven’t had the urge to call him in months. Whew! I didn’t think I was ever going to get beyond my feelings for him.”

  “Dating anyone?” Melissa asked.

  “I’m dating everyone. If they have the sense enough to ask me out, then I always say yes. I had a few bad dates, but I’m having fun. Don’t make me ask what’s going on with you and Darius. How are the living arrangements? You two resembled a happy couple at the shower.”