This Wandering Heart

by Janine Rosche

  The pattering inside Keira’s chest grew to a rumble. “That’s beautiful. And what are those red things?”

  Anabelle’s wide green eyes peered up at her. “Those are hearts.”

  Just like that, a portion of her fortress crumbled. And Keira had no immediate plans to rebuild.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Someone pressed a kiss to Robbie’s cheek. And whoever it was had Skittles breath. He grabbed hold of the little body and pulled it onto the sheets beside him. His daughter’s laughter rang out, followed by her little voice. “Daddy, you’re silly.” He snuggled her against his chest and sighed. Between blinks, he made out a gray wall past the edge of the bed.

  Where was he? Whose bed was this anyway? And on the wall, why was there a picture of a horse staring down a buffalo? That didn’t even make sense. The light from the window reflected off the glass, and a shadow moved across it.

  “Sorry to wake you.”

  Keira. Robbie settled onto one elbow, his stiff neck recalling memories of the nine-hour middle-of-the-night drive and his still-swelled chest cavity echoing that morning’s confrontation when she’d trusted him.

  And now she stood at the foot of the bed, offering him the kind of cardboard cylinder he’d get at the deli on Canyon Street.

  “We brought you soup. Chicken noodle. You still like that, right?” She placed it on the end table on his left. She balanced a plastic-wrapped spoon on its lid, then splayed out three two-packs of crackers in an arc. After disappearing for a few moments, she returned with a plastic cup she must’ve filled with bathroom sink water. “Sorry, I didn’t get you a drink.”

  “No need to be sorry.” He cleared his throat, hoping to get rid of the gravel. Accepting the water, he chugged half of it. “What time is it?”

  “Almost four. Anabelle and I had a great day, didn’t we?” Keira beamed at the two of them.

  That was weird. Keira didn’t beam.

  “Do you want to tell Daddy what we did?”

  Tell Daddy? The way she said that almost made it seem . . . family-like. While Keira’s eyes remained glued on Anabelle, Robbie pinched the tender skin beneath his arm. Definitely awake.

  “We walked to a store, and Keira bought me a night-light. It has horsies that go round and round on it. I think they’re Princess Patty Cake’s horsies, because they’re brown and pink.”

  “How nice of her, but she shouldn’t have done that.”

  Keira shook her head. “It wasn’t a big deal. She said she’s scared of the dark. I told her how I used to be the same way when I was a little girl, and how for Christmas one year, I got a night-light from the school counselor. Mine didn’t have horsies, but it helped me not be so scared.”

  Maybe not so scared, but College Keira hadn’t grown out of the fear entirely. He’d always had to check every closet, shower curtain, and large cabinet before he bade her good night. And the girl didn’t have one night-light; she had one in each room. He eyed her now. Had she changed? Yeah, she was thinner, with longer hair and considerably more makeup. But was she still the girl he’d loved more than life itself? “I’m paying you back.”

  “No, you won’t. It was a gift.”

  “We saw lots of rocks and buildings and took thirty-seventy pictures. And I had hot chocolate and an apple.” Anabelle rose onto her feet, finding her balance on the pillowy mattress and messed quilt. A bounce that began in her legs eventually reached her entire body, until she’d achieve full-blown jumping-on-the-bed status. “Me and Keira ran around a playground, pretending there was a troll chasing us. We ate . . . lunch . . . too.”

  “It sounds like you had a good day.”

  Anabelle nodded her head out of rhythm with her body. She stumbled a bit, then went right back to jumping.

  Robbie kicked his feet off the bed to allow her more room. He stretched his arms over his head and focused on Keira. “And did you have a good day?”

  Though her eyes had been bouncing along with Anabelle’s movements, Keira shifted her attention to him. “The best.” There was a peace about her. An ease he hadn’t seen in their teachers’ lounge conversations. Not at the birthday party, even.

  “Hey, Kitty Kat, I bet Keira has never jumped on a bed before.”

  Anabelle stopped her jumps and clapped her hands together. “Jump with me, Keira.”

  “No way. Grown-ups don’t jump on beds.”

  “Who says?” Robbie inched closer. “There’s no rule book anywhere that tells adults they can’t jump on the bed.”

  Shuffling backward, Keira shook her head. “It’s in the Bible. I’m sure of it. Second Traditions, chapter four, I believe.”

  “Stealing my jokes, are you?”

  “What in the heavens do you mean? I came up with the Traditions-is-a-book-of-the-Bible joke. Not you.”

  “You’re wrong, darling. I know because I stole it from my great-grandpa Red.” He crept closer. If she kept backing up, she would bump into the mini fridge in five, four, three, two—

  “Ouch!”

  Robbie saw his chance. He lunged, catching Keira around the legs. When he stood, she bent in half at his shoulder.

  She pounded his back. “Put me down, you ape!”

  “Is someone tickling me?”

  Her fists hit harder. Goodness, was she using her knuckles?

  Robbie flipped her onto her back at Anabelle’s feet.

  Keira rolled, taking a tiger’s stance, ready to get off the bed.

  Robbie met her at the edge. “Oh no, you don’t. Not until you jump.”

  “I won’t. I’ll break the frame.”

  “You weigh about two pounds. You won’t break the bed. Jump. It’ll be the best decision of your life.”

  Her lips quirked a bit on one side. Feisty. Man, he used to love getting a rise out of her. She’d always come alive around him. The truth was, he longed to see that again. “You want me to jump? Fine, I’ll jump.” She straightened up, then jostled her knees a bit.

  Robbie caught Anabelle’s gaze. “That’s not jumping. Anabelle, show her.”

  On command, his daughter bent her knees and sprang as high as her four-year-old body would let her.

  “Daddy, your turn.”

  Robbie hated to disappoint her. Of course, he probably would break the bed. He’d have to be careful. He climbed up, ducking his head to avoid the ceiling, and gripped Anabelle’s hand. He reached out for Keira’s.

  Keira looked down at it as if he had cooties. She backed off the bed and crossed the room, putting the small table and her computer between them. “I have work to do.”

  * * *

  * * *

  The red embers throbbed, growing brighter each time Keira’s blown breath reached them. It was warm here in front of the fireplace as she waited for Robbie and Anabelle to meet her. She should be working on this morning’s photos. The change of plans had put her behind schedule. Thankfully, Dora didn’t mind. After getting only two days a week out of Keira during the school year, she could handle six and a half days on this first trip rather than seven. As long as the clients were happy, and they were. The one picture she’d posted earlier of a new devotional book propped in front of some flowers in Halley Park already had the title’s hashtag trending. According to Dora, the publisher and the author were ecstatic. Easy paycheck. Plus, she got a free book out of the deal. Another picture she’d snapped of the midmorning shadows stretching across the ground would be perfect with some editing, but she couldn’t risk Robbie spying her work. Not until they’d had their talk.

  She’d wanted to hash it out in the hotel room earlier, but he went and started messing around. Same old Robbie. After that, she’d lost her nerve. Perhaps at dinner she would find it.

  Hopefully, Robbie wouldn’t react the same way as John had to her secret.

  The elevator opened, releasing the clatter of tiny cowgirl boots
onto the tile floor. Moments later, small arms wrapped around her neck.

  “You look ready for dinner. I love those cowgirl boots.”

  “We should get you some.” Anabelle kicked her foot out, putting the left boot on full display.

  “Yes, we should.”

  Behind them, Robbie rocked back and forth on his heels. He wore his ever-present blue jeans, but instead of a ratty, paint-stained shirt, he wore a fitted black button-up, undone enough to draw her eyes to his chest, but not enough to make him look like the cover model on a steamy romance novel. He’d shaved and gelled his curls back off his forehead. But like Robbie himself, they fought taming. By dessert, they’d be falling to his brow again.

  “Anywhere in particular you’d like to go?”

  “I made reservations at the place next door.”

  “Reservations?” He looked down at his clothes.

  “You’re dressed fine. Trust me.” She led them through the doors and out onto the sidewalk.

  Anabelle hopped ahead, careful not to touch the cracks, as they headed east toward the Painted Horse.

  Robbie caught up to Keira. He matched her stride, keeping to her left. Close, but not enough to risk touching hands or anything. “Are you absolutely sure it’s okay that we take that adjoining hotel room? I feel crummy about the whole thing. After sleeping all day, I can drive through the night again. We could still make it to Cali by Monday, probably.”

  Was Keira acting selfishly with this proposal? He and Anabelle wanted to be California dreaming, not South Dakota touristing. “It was already reserved, and it costs me nothing for you guys to stay there for one night. The hotel was happy to turn it over for you. Besides, don’t you think Anabelle needs a bed after sleeping in her car seat last night?”

  They passed beneath a streetlight, and shadows sharpened the edges of Robbie’s features.

  “That sounded judgmental. I didn’t mean it to be. We both know I have no place to give parenting advice. I’m sorry.”

  “Stop with the apologies already! I’m used to people judging my parenting. The curse of the single father, I call it.”

  “In truth, I want you to stay tonight. I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”

  “Same here.” The cracking of one set of his knuckles set her spine to curling. What was he so nervous about? It wasn’t as if he was the one with the big secret.

  “We’re here.” She reached for the main door’s handle, but Robbie intervened.

  The door, which appeared to be solid mahogany, groaned at having to move. Robbie made it look effortless, of course. “Kitty Kat, this way,” he called to Anabelle, who spun around, then frog-jumped through the doorway.

  Only the flicker of a pair of sconces lit the entryway. Had she realized this restaurant was so romantic, she wouldn’t have accepted this opportunity. The last thing she needed was romance. Especially with Robbie Matthews. Been there, done that, bought the counseling-session package.

  Turning in a slow circle, Robbie took a gander at the lobby with its layers of woodwork and halos of candlelight. He sneered at the framed menu on the wall as if it had offended his momma. “What kind of place writes their menu in cursive? And why are there only five things to choose from?” He leaned close to her ear. “Keira, I can’t afford this place.”

  “You don’t have to.” She patted his arm. “Wait here.”

  From behind the host’s stand, a gentleman nodded. “Reservation name, miss?”

  Keira slipped a folder out of her satchel. Pinned inside was the contract Dora had forwarded the week before. “It should be under . . .” A glance back found Robbie sliding his fingers along some woodwork. She fanned the page on the podium for the host to see. “. . . Kat Wanderfull.”

  “Ah yes. We’re all excited to have you visit us this evening. You have two guests with you, correct?”

  “Yes. Two.” She tucked the folder back into her bag. “You don’t happen to have crayons or anything, do you?”

  “I’m afraid not. We typically do not cater to children here. Not that they’re not welcome, of course.”

  “I understand.”

  “Right this way, Miss Wanderfull.”

  “Call me Kat, please.” Just not in front of that man, she wanted to add.

  But Robbie, holding Anabelle’s hand, was already walking this way. His usual swagger was gone. While she wasn’t looking, someone must have replaced his spine with an iron poker. “I feel like I should at least be wearing a jacket,” he said.

  Keira let loose a chuckle, trying to lighten his mood. “The Robbie I used to know wouldn’t let some place make him feel like he’s not good enough.”

  “Oh yeah, only a school, a library, a bookstore . . .”

  “Stop.” Her arm slipped under his, allowing her hand to cradle the crook of his elbow. What was she thinking? Nothing at all apparently. Would she always be a slave to her impulses around him?

  Robbie didn’t seem to mind, though. In fact, he hugged her hand between his arm and his side, as if he didn’t want her to let go.

  Once they’d all settled into their seats and Keira had assured Robbie three times that he could order whatever their stomachs desired, they gave their requests to the server. For Anabelle, the salmon with a side of croutons and cheese. For Robbie, the New York strip and potato confit. For Keira, the lobster tail sans butter, with steamed broccoli.

  After a sip of his iced tea, he turned his focus to Keira. “Please tell me why I ordered seventy dollars’ worth of food for me and my four-year-old. And why I’m sleeping in some swanky hotel tonight with toilets that have multiple flush settings? What on earth do you have in that folder of yours? The deed to a diamond mine in Africa?”

  “Not quite.” She swallowed some water, wishing it contained something stronger. “I haven’t been completely forthright with you. With anyone, really.”

  His eyes sharpened on her. “Go on.”

  The host appeared behind Robbie, holding a drugstore plastic bag. “The manager sent me to the general store down the block. Your crayons and coloring book, milady.” He handed them to Anabelle, whose wide eyes were likely thanks enough. “Pardon the interruption, Miss Wanderfull, er, Kat.”

  Keira’s attention shot to Robbie. He was peering hard at the generic coloring book. Who knew he held so much interest in baby animals? Either he hadn’t caught the name, or he didn’t care enough to question it.

  “How should I begin? Do you know the social media app Momentso?” Probably not. Robbie had been strictly anti–social media in college. He’d tried it once, but as a big football star, he’d been inundated with unsolicited photos and, um, requests—to put it politely—from girls on campus.

  He nodded, raised his glass to his lips, then chugged several gulps.

  “Shortly after everything happened with us, I joined it. Do you remember Trina from college? She told me I should go on Momentso and share pics from my mission trip. The one—”

  “I know the one.” Maybe it was the low lighting, but Robbie looked greenish. She shouldn’t have gone that far back. Too many soiled memories.

  “The pictures gained traction. Suddenly, I had all these followers . . . you know, people who wanted to see what I’d post next.” She ran a fingertip over the lip of her water glass. “Soon, companies were offering me free things—clothes, gadgets, phones, books, kayaks . . . you name it, I’ve been offered it. The only requirement was that I show it in my posts.”

  She paused. Robbie’s gaze bored into her, his thoughts a mystery. “This company called EndeavHerMore specializes in female-led excursions. They encourage women to try new things and pave their own path. That’s where I met Dora. She’s like a big sister to me. Anyway, she started booking these trips for my online persona, which is . . . you’re gonna laugh.”

  “I won’t laugh.” Robbie was dead serious. Was he sweating?
<
br />   “Kat Wanderfull.” She buried her face in her hands. Scissoring her fingers, she peeked between them with one eye. “Wanderfull because of the traveling. Get it? It’s ridiculous. Making up a fake person and keeping it hidden.”

  “Not at all. In fact, I need to—”

  “I hid it from John, too.” Keira released a heavy breath. “I only told him this past week. Shows you how close we were. He was adamant that he join me on this trip. I figured it couldn’t hurt to have an extra pair of hands to help with tricky shots. He’s kind of an amateur photographer himself. Around the same time, I got word that the Adventure Channel is interested in my work. Like, they think I have a charisma they look for in their shows’ hosts.”

  “That’s really cool, Keira.”

  “They want to see whether my followers respond to not merely the locations, although that’s important, but me as well. I’ve kept myself behind the camera for the most part. Being a high school teacher, I was worried about my students figuring it all out. The Adventure Channel wants me to be more in front of the camera now. For that, I need a colleague. Things as they were, I figured that would be John. But we saw how that went, didn’t we?”

  “Keira, I need to stop you—”

  “This is a lot of time I’ll be spending with someone. Your only job would be to take the pictures I tell you to take. That’s it. But in that process, you’ll get to travel to cool places, stay in amazing hotels and resorts, eat all the New York strip steak and potato confit—” She giggled. Goodness, he had her giggling. “All for free. Also, I’ll pay you.”

  “Anabelle . . .”

  “She can come along. We’ll work in some fun kid stuff along the way. Maybe after this South Dakota trip, we can make our way to California. All expenses paid while you and Anabelle have the vacation of a lifetime. And you won’t ever have to camp in a tent. Unless you want to.”

  Couldn’t he say something . . . anything? Instead of simply staring straight through her?

  “Strictly business. We can even write up a contract.” She pulled her folder out of the satchel and flipped through it quickly.