This Wandering Heart

by Janine Rosche

  “No way. I look goofy.”

  “But even your goofy is pretty. And it’s more you.”

  She bumped his hand with hers over the touch pad, going back to the more posed picture from before. “This one is better.”

  “Sure, if you want your followers kissing their screens.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “That come-hither look. Every guy who sees that picture is going to want you. Is that what you’re going for?”

  She scoffed. “They won’t.”

  “Trust me, Keira. I’m a man. Shoot, it makes me want to kiss you right now.” He ticked up a brow in her direction.

  “Don’t you dare. Besides, you don’t count. You always had this weird attraction to me, even when others didn’t.”

  “You were always gorgeous. I just noticed before everybody else. Too bad attraction isn’t enough to make a relationship last, huh? ’Cause we had that in spades.”

  “That we did.” She looked away from him, quiet for a solid thirty seconds. “Is that what you think? That I’m trying to entice men with these pictures.”

  “Uh, yeah. Why else would you make that face?”

  She enlarged the photo of her coy smile. She looked model pretty, especially with the editing she’d done on it. The small scar on her forehead he used to kiss had been smoothed over. The tiny mole by the corner of her eye had been darkened to look more pronounced. “I’m posting it anyway.”

  She pulled up Momentso. The mailbox icon flashed, and she paused.

  “Hey, you got a message. Who’s it from?” Not that he needed to ask. After all, he’d sent it ten minutes ago. Maybe seeing her reaction to MRCustom’s message could help him come up with a way to tell her the truth.

  “Probably spam. I’ll check it later.”

  “Let’s check it now.” He reached for the touch pad, and she slapped his hand. “Ow. When did you get so vicious? Do you have some secret boyfriend you don’t want me to know about?”

  “Maybe I do.” Her cheek pulled up, and she smirked. “He’s a Nigerian prince who’s promising me a big inheritance as long as I give him my bank account info.”

  “Oh, I had my money on a high-ranking military general who is a single father and likes long walks on the beach.”

  “He’s that, too. The most romantic man in the world.”

  “More romantic than me? I doubt it.”

  “I’ll give you that. You spoiled me.”

  “But that wasn’t enough, either, was it?” He watched her profile, begging her to look in his direction. If she did, maybe they could lay it all out there. Get to the nitty-gritty of the grenade that had shattered both of them. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Kat, look at me.”

  “I should probably go back to my room now. I’m going to post this and turn in for the night. I’ll see you in the morning.” Stoic couldn’t touch the stillness in Keira’s face. Whatever she was thinking, she wouldn’t tell him. He’d have to wait until she messaged MRCustom.

  * * *

  * * *

  After rolling her head in a full circle atop her shoulders, Keira reached beneath the thick, loose braid and massaged the back of her neck. Four separate outfits, three hairstyle changes, and scores of photographs over seven hours were tiring. Three straight days of the same thing was downright exhausting.

  It didn’t help that she’d spent half of her photography time teaching Robbie how to use her cameras. Thankfully, he was a quick learner, and Anabelle had been a good sport, always finding ways to entertain herself. When she’d gotten too bored, Robbie would go into Superdad mode and create a game for her to play. About one hour ago, they’d disappeared over a bluff in search of an evil half troll, half prairie dog out to kidnap Princess Patty Cake in Badlands National Park.

  The picture of her face had caused quite the rumble on Momentso. Not only was it her most liked picture, but it had also received thousands of comments and pushed #whoisKatWanderfull to the list of top ten trending hashtags. The onslaught of new followers had nearly crashed her profile. The pictures she’d posted from Needles Highway in Custer State Park on Monday and Wind Cave National Park yesterday were among her most popular yet. And the Adventure Channel had noticed. Soon, she’d be moving on and up, leaving behind the state and national parks and heading overseas to visit the places of her dreams. She could always keep up with Anabelle through pictures. Surely, she and Robbie had established enough of a friendship to warrant that.

  Keira dug the heel of her hand into the aching muscle covering her heart. If it kept doing that, she’d have to either see a doctor or stop imagining saying goodbye to Anabelle. Keira carried her bags to the spot where they’d parked the truck earlier, off the dirt road. She loaded her equipment. Other than some critters, there hadn’t been any life in sight the entire shoot.

  With the troll hunters off on their adventure, she was alone. There was something to be said for having the world as far as the eye could see to herself. No one to hurt her. No one to fear. No one to get in the way of her dream.

  The breeze swirled around her, kicking up the dirt in a dust devil and whipping her skirt around her legs. This was the kind of June day when God was simply showing off. She longed to find a sweet spot in the prairie grass to rest and enjoy the brilliance. But she needed to find the troll hunters and let them know she was finished. Anabelle probably needed a nap. Considering the yawn that escaped her mouth again, Keira may need one also.

  Climbing the bluff west of her latest shoot made her calves burn in that “strong is the new pretty” way. Dora and the rest of the EndeavHerMore team would be proud. It probably helped that Robbie had made a grand breakfast in his room’s mini kitchen, and she’d eaten more than usual that morning—scrambled eggs, some hash browns, fruit, and even a bite of turkey sausage. He’d become quite the cook since college. Imaginings of lazy Saturday mornings popped into her head. Robbie was a bring-his-wife-breakfast-in-bed type of guy. She could picture him carrying a tray into her bedroom and placing it on her lap. Then leaning down to kiss—

  No, Keira. That kind of thinking only led to pain.

  About thirty yards away, she found them. They’d unzipped and spread a sleeping bag wide on the grass. Father and daughter lay flat on their backs, pointing up to the sky.

  Robbie saw her first. “Hey. All done?”

  She gave a quick nod and suppressed the smile he’d tugged out of her too many times already this week.

  “Good. Come check out the Cloud Animal Zoo with us. So far, Anabelle has found one of those famous short-necked giraffes and a whale with cow feet.”

  Anabelle propped herself up on her elbow to face Robbie. “Piggy feet.”

  “You’re right. A whale with piggy feet.”

  Satisfied with the correction, Anabelle settled onto her back once again and perused the sky.

  Robbie still watched Keira. He’d been acting strange the past few days. Quieter. A bit more paranoid, as if every man they encountered was a wolf in human clothing ready to devour Keira. She could understand if he was on Momentso and had seen some of the more perverse comments on the portrait shot, but he wasn’t on the app.

  He patted the spot on the sleeping bag next to him. She hesitated a moment, then shook off her worry. It wasn’t like he was asking her to kiss him. Just lie next to him and his daughter and look at clouds. What could be more innocent than that? The fact that she was drawn to him didn’t matter. Not one bit.

  She stretched out on the smooth navy material, keeping a narrow strip of space between them. Try as she might to focus on the puffy cloud above, she felt his stare. Giving in, she turned to him.

  He grinned. “Hi.”

  Anabelle peeked up over Robbie’s pectoral muscles. “D’you see any animals, Keira?”

  “Let me see.” She forced her imagination to form shapes when all she really saw was mo
unds of mashed potatoes and heaps of ice cream. Slowly, as one cloud layer shifted beneath another, she saw two round ears. A face emerged behind a big tummy, maybe with arms and legs tucked in front of it. “Okay, I’ve got one. It’s a mouse.”

  Robbie squinted his eyes, angling his head in every direction as he tried to find said mouse.

  Lifting her arm into the sky, she pointed directly overhead.

  “I still don’t see it,” he said.

  She shifted her body until she was practically lying on him. Ignoring his chuckle, she pointed again, placing her face right next to his so they could share perspectives. “Look straight up. Can you see the ears and the little nose?” Her finger traced the air.

  “Okay, I can see something, but it isn’t a mouse.” He grabbed her outstretched hand and moved it in a different pattern. “A mouse would be short with a wide body and a long head. That cloud is tall.”

  She nudged him, and his brow arched up. Some harmless flirting, that’s all this was. “Not a real mouse. Like a cutesy Tom and Jerry cartoon mouse.” Keira entwined their fingers, and she retraced it.

  “Did Tom dismember Jerry? Where are his arms and legs?”

  After dropping his hand, she slapped his stomach, making him recoil into the ground and groan. “No, you sicko. He’s kind of like this.” She rolled onto her back and tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, forming a ball.

  “You’re terrible at this game, do you know that?” With a playful shove to her shoulder, he rolled her off the sleeping bag.

  “If you’re so good, you find one.”

  Accepting her challenge, he extended his arm toward her. “Okay. Come back, and I’ll show you a Galápagos tortoise.” He winked, and she caved.

  She broached their separation and turned, allowing her hip and shoulder to settle into the material. Her chest and stomach rested against his side, and she laid her cheek on his chest. Cradled with his arm snug around her, she allowed herself to relax into an embrace as familiar as a classic novel. Pride and Prejudice, perhaps. Instantly recognizable. A dependable mainstay on any given afternoon.

  He pointed to a cloud lower on the horizon at the five o’clock position. “Anabelle, do you see that big turtle? With the kinda long neck? That’s a Galápagos tortoise. It lives on the Galápagos Islands in the Pacific Ocean, super far away. They’re big enough to ride on, and they can live to be more than one hundred and fifty years old.”

  Keira didn’t even have to move her head. She saw the cloud, just as sure as Robbie saw her.

  “I see it,” Anabelle said. “It looks like my turtle. Wait. Where are his ears? Do those big turtles have ears?”

  “We should ask an expert. Do you know whose favorite animal is a Galápagos tortoise?” Robbie’s question reverberated through his barreled chest and into her cheek.

  “Mine.” Keira raised her hand into the air so Anabelle could see it. “But I’ve never met a tortoise, so I don’t know what his ears are like. If I ever meet one, I’ll ask.”

  “But if he don’t have ears, then he won’t hear you.” Anabelle rolled against Robbie’s other side, mirroring Keira’s position. She lifted the stuffed toy Keira had given her, placing it on Robbie’s stomach between them.

  “I’ll have to use sign language, I guess.”

  “I bet turtles are good at reading lips,” Robbie chimed in. “As long as you speak sloooowlyyyy.”

  Suddenly, Keira didn’t want this trip to end. If she could hold on to this moment and this feeling forever, she would. She reached into the pocket of her skirt to retrieve her phone. After clicking open the camera app, Keira flipped it to the front selfie camera. With the sun still hidden behind the mouse cloud, the picture of the three of them would be perfect, even if the screen was too dark to see now. Not that she would ever post it. This picture wasn’t for Kat. It wasn’t for Keira. It was for the real her, whoever that was. “Do you mind?” she asked Robbie as she held it above them.

  “Not at all.” His breath was soft and warm against her forehead. She wondered as she snapped the picture if he’d brushed a kiss there.

  Keira placed the phone on the ground behind her back. She caressed the silky fur of the turtle’s leg between her fingers until Anabelle’s hand grabbed hers. Keira surrendered to the handhold, and a few minutes later, to the peaceful sleep.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  A giggle tickled Robbie’s ears. Anabelle. He tried to open an eye, but it was too bright. Lush warmth pressed against his left side, and he turned into it, nuzzling his nose against hair that smelled like melon. Not Anabelle.

  “Robbie.”

  The way the voice said his name was as soothing as a stream of water on his face after a football game. As soothing as his girlfriend’s congratulatory hug after he’d passed for four touchdowns in front of the college recruiter.

  “Robbie,” she repeated.

  He wrapped himself around the voice, holding it tight against his chest, unwilling to let it go. At least until fists jabbed the muscles of his abdomen. “Robert Charles Matthews, wake up!”

  Mom?

  Then he remembered where he’d been—lying on the ground, looking at clouds with Anabelle and Keira in his arms. Oh goodness. Is that who he was smothering in a bear hug right now? Forcing open his lids, he met Keira’s eyes. He unspooled his arms and legs from around her. “My bad.”

  “You guys are sleepyheads.” Anabelle sat behind Keira. She was holding something—Keira’s phone.

  “Annie, did Keira say you can play on her phone?”

  The little girl’s mouth fell open. She shook her head slowly.

  “Baby, you cannot do that. That’s Keira’s, and it’s expensive. Say you’re sorry.”

  Anabelle’s lower lip quivered.

  Keira, finally able to sit up after being smothered by him, tousled Anabelle’s hair. “It’s okay. No harm, no foul.” She outstretched her hand.

  Anabelle placed the phone on it, then popped up to her feet and began twirling.

  Rising up to a seated position, Robbie rubbed his neck. “Sorry.”

  “It’s just a phone.” Keira waved her hand between them.

  “I wasn’t talking about that. I think I have a problem.”

  “I’d say. Other people sleepwalk. You sleepcuddle.” Was she blushing?

  “Apparently. Not that I ever have women in my bed.” He clamped his lips together. You’re making it worse. Cut your losses and leave the conversation.

  “At least I’m not a stranger,” Keira said. “It wasn’t so long ago that—I mean to say, I still remember . . . ugh. Look, you’re not terrible to cuddle with.” Smoothing her braid, she looked away. Even above the breeze and Anabelle’s singing, he heard Keira’s stomach growl.

  After pulling his phone out of his pocket, he checked the time. 4:18. They’d all be ready for dinner soon. But that wasn’t what invited the boulder into the pit of his stomach.

  Four missed calls from Ryann.

  Service here was spotty. Enough to register the missed calls, but not enough to let it ring. He tried calling her back, but the connection was too weak.

  Fifteen minutes later, with Keira at the wheel steering them away from the Badlands, Robbie stared at the bars on his phone, waiting for them to alight, while all kinds of scenarios raced through his mind. Their father wasn’t in the best of health. The resort wasn’t doing great this summer, and the stress was taking its toll. Could this be about him? Or had something happened to Ryann? She didn’t always keep the best company. And, as much as he hated to admit it, his sister was full of secrets she’d never trusted him with. It worried him.

  Finally, at the first sign of civilization, the call connected.

  “Robbie?” his sister answered quickly.

  “It’s me. We had no cell service. What’s up?”

  “It’s Vivian. She
called the office and left a message. She’s coming over Saturday and wants to spend time with Anabelle.”

  “Oh.” Robbie stared through the windshield. More clouds had filled the sky. Beams of sunlight shone through. The kind, according to his mother, that angels used to come down to earth. Proof that God watched out for his children. Everything would be fine. Anabelle should know her mother. It could only bring more good than harm. Wasn’t that the saying? “Isn’t that what I’ve wanted? For her to be around? And we’ll be back Friday night. It’ll be fine.”

  “Will it?” There was an edge to Ryann’s voice. “She sounded . . . insistent. Like, remember on that double date with Thomas and me when we were playing cards, and she kept telling me how she always finds a way to win at everything?”

  “And then you went and ate all of the chocolate-covered strawberries I got for her birthday?”

  Ryann snickered. “I completely forgot about that. No wonder she hates me. But yes, that same night. The way she sounded on the message reminded me of it. Collected. Almost conniving. You know?”

  “I do.” Robbie had tasted Vivian’s contempt enough to burn the taste on his tongue. “Did she leave her number?”

  He jotted down the digits on a napkin from the glove box before ending the call.

  Keira was quiet, her thoughts, as always, a mystery. In the back, Anabelle sang the wrong words to “Here Comes My Girl.” Leaning forward in the passenger seat, he shrugged as the seat belt’s edge dug into his neck. No matter how hard he looked, the heavenly beams were gone.

  * * *

  * * *

  With Anabelle’s belly pressed against her shins, Keira held tight to little hands. As she extended her legs, Anabelle squealed, flying like an airplane above her. Keira made engine noises while she swiveled her hips and rocked side to side to mimic some serious fighter jet maneuvering.